Pick of the Week
The Adventures of Jolee Bindo
Originally reviewed 10 Nov 2006 over at Lucasforums. That review is below:
In the interim between KOTOR I and II. An Apprentice gets an unlikely master.
Jae had sent this to me, asking me to proofread it and offer corrections. Sadly the copy I sent to her disappeared, and will have to be redone, but i can say it all in one sentence.
You don’t need advice. Just keep writing.
I think it is interesting that this is the first mention that an apprentice can refuse to accept a teacher as master. Though the idea makes sense. Like a lot of the kids I have read in my year of critiquing, I want to go back and read it all.
Reprise Pick of the Week
KOTOR on Dantooine: Sasha as Goldilocks.
The author used my favorite secondary character, but in a different way. My Sasha was a lot tougher than this, and needed more coaxing. But considering that Sasha was after all a secondary quest, I'll cut Winter some slack.
KOTOR after Korriban: Bastila has to reprogram her charge after the Rakatan box.
The piece is interesting in that Bastila is more of a, eminence Gris here than she was in my own work. Bastila is controlling Revan almost like a puppet, able to reset her mind to a previous time regardless of circumstances.
Unresolved Sexual Tension
KOTOR, so specific time given: Revan and Malak share a kiss, but did they?
I read a great deal and not all of what I read is related. The end of this dream sequence reminded me of Shirley MacClain'es 'Out on a limb' where she was being pursued by a gorilla in a dream. Trapped against a cliff, she screamed at it, asking why it pursued her, and the gorilla replied, 'Hey kid! It's your dream!'.
Discovering the Stars
Post TSL: The Exile prepares to head out, but not without misgivings of her own and Atton's...
The piece flows very well, the Exile's internal dialogue trying to find a way around leaving virtually alone. Her final confrontation with Atton highlights the problem.
Let Sleeping Laigreks Lie
TSL on Korriban: After dealing with the cave, the Exile needs some downtime...
The piece flowed very well, Atton so worried about what he has to do to keep the Exile together that he can't think of anything else.
Pre TSL: Atton at his worst
I was struck by the last line because you have a torturer who has grown blasé about his craft. Torment, taunt, finally kill someone he relalizes only after is innocent.
The Disparity of a Grey Jedi
TSL, no specific part given: The Exile goes her own way
The piece was too short to get a handle on the way the character is thinking. She is compassionate one moment, hard the next, with no rhyme or reason for it.
Post TSL: After her loss, the Exile still misses her Mical.
The piece flows well, the grief deep and unrelenting. Her own feelings resonate with Selene the apprentice now bereft of a master.
Pick of the Week
Apathy Is Death
TSL after Korriban: When does the nightmare end?
The piece has a nightmare feel to it; First the tomb of Ludo Kreesh repeated (As happened in my own version) then having the scene repeat aboard ship. The end was better to my mind because you get to kill the old bat before you get to Malachor V.