When I become Master of the Universe...
I may not become master of the universe, or even ruler of the free world. I may not become president any time soon, but I do feel I got a lot of good ideas...harsh though practical...
1. You must obtain a license to have children.
I live in a predominately catholic town, and I am witnessing too many people having too many kids with not one single clue as to how to raise them or feed them. I have had enough.
You may not have any children before the age of 18, and you may not have any children without completing a 4 year program of education followed by a license to bear children. AND, once you obtain a license, you may only have enough kids that your income can afford. Should you get promoted, or get a better job, you can re-apply and be approved to have more. The program consists of basic child care knowledge, to education, discipline, and ultimately how to help them succeed in life.
Any kids had out of wedlock, or without license will be forced into the military. Where they are forced to stay until they are at least 21. All kids forced into military will be taught discipline, respect, and at the age of 17 will be placed into a vocational military position which can translate into a decent job should they decide to leave the military. At 21, they can stay if they choose. At any time, the parents can visit the child in the military, but cannot claim the child until they serve a minimal 4 year enlistment from age 17-21. Also any body who enlisted in the military for any reason has the right to vote.
Ever played the game Metal Gear Solid 4? Remember when Solid Snake cannot use any weapons until he get's DNA encoded? The same thing will become of all telephones, cell phones...etc. Kids have no damn business with any phone until they reach a certain age. This will eliminate stupid prank phone calls, and worthless phone bills! No kid before the age of 17 has real reason to have a phone. Any abuse of a phone after that age, the DNA code is revoked.
3. Homeless and Illegal Immigrants.
Reality TV. Give them an option. Either get deported, or "Fight for your freedom" on prime time, or Pay per view! I am sure Bob Barker, and John Madden would come out of retirement to host THIS event! Let them fight the worlds worst criminals to the death for a citizenship! You could get mighty creative on this one! And to quote George Carlin...you use the funds to balance the stupid budget!
Legalize weed, opium...and anything that grows naturally. Have it in designated areas. Amsterdam does it! Is it any worse than going to a bar and having too many drinks and driving home? Think of what this could do for the economy? And while you are at it...let people smoke for god's sake. It's ok to let people drink, and drink, and drink, but if they light up a smoke...oh god...that's cancer?! Any body else see the irony in this? It's cool, let the bars make that choice.
5. Gay marriage
I don't normally speak of politics, but dammit, in this day and age why is this even an issue? I don't give a good damn what you do in your private life so long as it does not effect your duty in what ever you do. They finally repealed the "don't ask don't tell" part of the military. I was happy as hell to see this happen. I have known gay people all my life. At no point, did I EVER feel threatened by them ever. And I never understood why it was such a big deal to stay in the closet or not. Most of my gay friends accepted me for who I was as I accepted them for who they were. Let sleeping dogs lie, and leave it alone for goodness sake. And if two guys or two girls can provide a happy home for some homeless kids how can that be wrong? Seriously?
6. Pull our troops out of the middle east.
We had no idea how to fix this mess before we got into it. We do not have the ability to fix it. I say, let the mafia go over there, open a few casinos and install what ever crappy government they see fit. Would it be any worse than it is now? Get our people out of there. Leave it alone!