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Old 09-03-2011, 10:36 PM   #1213
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Join Date: Jul 2005
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The Coruscant Entertainment Center

SW: TOR: A Matter of Motivation

TOR Ongoing: The Padawan doesn't get any rest, now there is a duel to fight

The piece is coming together very well. You did forget one option as to why Tamara wants to fight now; she was obviously at the temple relaxing in comparison to the main characters day so far. Perhaps she feels that it will blunt the main character's edge and make her easier to defeat.

Good work; keep it up


Yuthura's Awakening
Bald As Malak

One year after KOTOR on Korriban: Yuthura finally decides to continue her original quest

The writing is pure BAM and worth every moment of the read. Her internal dialogue is well done, looking at her situation and the extent of what she wishes to accomplish daunting. But She intends to at least try.

Pick of the Week

The Unskippable Prologue

KOTOR Prologue: What might the character be thinking?

The piece made no attempt to sneak up on humor, instead it leaped right in to the deep end of the pool and dragged you with it. When Carth calls (The one after Trask had died) Trask was still there, and the next part ensues:

'Huh? Trask what in the galaxy are you doing? You're supposed to be dead!'

'I know, sir! We're working on it!' Trask wailed.

Raine stared at him in shock. 'Wait, you want to die? Why didn't you tell me sooner?!'

She unsheathed her vibroblade but Carth's voice interrupted impatiently.

'You don't have to worry about it, Raine. We already have something prepared.'

'It's not a problem, sir. I'd be happy to, really.'

Later when she is checking the way to kill the squad between her and the escape pods she checks the computer and...

'I wonder...' she clicked on Security Commands.











What would you do? She releases the man eating Gizka.

Definitely worth every keystroke!

Pick of the Week


Starting at age 1: The early life of three Jedi

The piece starts out simple, one child crossing a tightrope, and branches from there as we watch these young Jedi from age one to 8. A pity I can't read the entire thing, because it's starting out fun.

The Follower

KOTOR on Leviathan: Malak remembers his own fall as he confronts Revan after her return

The piece is dark and you realize that while he worries about his position, he is more terrified that Revan will merely return to her old position.

Rules of Engagement

Post KOTOR: The horror!

The piece struck at every chord a woman has; confiscating her chocolate, forced to diet, I shudder to think of her mindset. I am just surprised she didn't go on a rampage when first HK then Bastila comments on her figure.

Pick of the Week

The Princess Diaries

KOTOR from Taris to Dantooine: Bastila as a valley girl?

I picture Bastila as the events in the diary excerpts occur, and it caused me to chuckle. Calling to a bubble bath as if it were a lover she hasn't seen recently, whining about the lack of tub on the ship, and Mission's complaints about mere three hour showers. Oh the horrors!

Pick of the Week

Legacy of Malachor

Post TSL: Bao-Dur is the last holdout as a Dark Exile tightens her grip on the crew

The piece has the feel of a fine horror story, the plucky hero resisting as the evil makes blandishments, knowing that it is his soul they fight over. And like most such horror stories, the hero loses in the end.


TSL on Dxun: Sparring leads to...

While defined as slash, I don't think one kiss makes it so. As for all those with a knee jerk reaction to this, I am probably one of the oldest people here (I turned 58 in July) and the story only bothered me because of the unnecessary angst in the last few paragraphs. What did it matter?

The Dance

From Pre Mandalorian Wars to the destruction of the Star Forge: Two old friends share every experience except one

The time span causes some problems because the only link between the prewar and present is the duel and the difference in their reactions. They go from good friend sharing everything to mortal enemies. As the las few paragraphs say they were heroes, villains and saviors in their own time, and the only thing they did not share was death.


Pre Mandalorian Wars: As Bastila grows stornger in the Force Revan leads his followers into battle.

You have a calm before the storm feeling here. Bastila is upset because she cannot go, yet Revan's reasons are valid.

In the Light and Darkness of Us

KOTOR on both Lehon and Korriban: The link draws both Bastila and Revan toward the darkside

It's interesting that Bastila's fall began when Revan overreacted in the tomb of Tulak Hord. Feeling the woman she had balanced all this time finally losing it was too much for her to bear.

The scenes are as graphic as the author mentions. If you are easily disturbed read only the portions without Bastila until the end.


Pre KOTOR: The Exile comes to lure Kavar to the fray

The story flows well, and the Exile's intent is perfect; it isn't that she wanted sex specifically, rather that she wants the connection that she remembered.

Pick of the Week

'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile

Last edited by machievelli; 09-06-2011 at 11:09 AM. Reason: wrong part of post
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