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Old 09-17-2011, 07:47 PM   #1215
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The Coruscant Entertainment Center

Painful Lessons

TOR Ongoing: As the victor in her duel, the Padawan learns another lesson

The piece has a good feel and the entire story is coming together. While the Padawan sees it as the victor tending to the one who lost, I was reminded of the quote from the Duke of Wellington; The only thing worse than a battlefield lost, is a battlefield won. When you lose, the enemy holds the field, and you are no longer part of it. But when you win, you get to tend to the bodies and wounded.

Excellent work. Continue.

Squadron Legacy chapters 2-4 (Reviewed all together)

Ongoing Pre Mandalorian Wars:

Technical notes:

1:When you had the character say; “We’ve got bogeys, let’s split!” I was confused. In modern day civilian slang, split means of course to leave. But in fighter jock slang split means to do a tactical split, widen formation to avoid enemy fire. But the subsequent maneuvers did not match that command.

2: considering the number of fighters carried by the average ship of the Republic, the Nebulon Class frigate, the carriers are closest to the modern British carriers, carrying few aircraft (The Ark Royal carried 22 aircraft, 18 Harriers and four helicopters) the Kiev class Aircraft cruiser (31 aircraft), Admiral Kuznetsov (41-51 aircraft) or the Commencement Bay class 'Jeep' carriers (34 aircraft) used during WWII and Korea. This means that you would not have private quarters for flight officers; even squadron leaders would share quarters, and junior officers would be in four man quarters and communal showers. If you assumed the cubic space aboard a modern American carrier instead, squadron leaders would have single quarters but they would almost always be close to the flight deck, and on one level if possible along with rooms shared by pairs of junior pilots. If they had single quarters, there would not be a need for a communal shower.

There doesn't seem to have been a reason for the alarm that started the entire chapter. If it were an active weapon warning (I considered that the ship's internal sensors detected the active proton torpedo) the ship's emergency systems should also be able to jettison the ship before the explosion occurred.

The flow is very good, the scenes well portrayed. The characters are fleshing out very well and the sudden hostility when our two heroes are thrust into a squadron to replace the injured and dead is perfectly done. I am enjoying it immensely.



Post TSL: Carth has another duty to Mission now

The piece is sad and poignant. When they make movies about war they unfortunately forget that not all wounds are visible. Mission is reduced to a child here, only casually linked to the real world and Carth feels responsible. There wasn't enough back story to tell us what had happened specifically except that Mical who had been her partner had been killed in the same incident.

I understand and applaud Carth's perseverance in this duty, yet at the end I want to cry for them both.

Pick of the Week

Junior Officer in Love: A Cautionary Tale

KOTOR On Taris: Concerning the events on Taris and what caused the destruction of the planet

The piece is well done, using flashbacks and surveillance footage. The events are dissected with all the care of an autopsy. Excellent.

Pick of the Week

Dinah Lance

Pre Mandalorian Wars: Carth and Morgana spend some time together.

The characters are well wrought, especially Morgana who as one previous reviewer commented, is primarily a cardboard figure in the background. The byplay between the characters, especially with a young doctor in training balanced against a hotshot pilot is superb. The prophetic dream could have been left out without affecting the story at all, which was one comment made.

Pick of the Week

The Jedi and the Mandalorian: Prologue

Post KOTOR on Nar Shaddaa: Two old friend look forward to a reunion

The piece is excellent work with the two main characters well portrayed with obvious changes from their game selves. Each has grown since we saw them last, even Canderous, who we have seen more recently.

Pick of the Week

Ieiunitas Laurifer

KOTOR After Leviathan: Revan must now deal with the revelation of his true identity

The piece is too angst filled to get the full picture. Revan's shock at the revelation literally carries the piece, from his shock at Bastila's losss into enemy hands, a thought of suicide, then taking charge again through his pain.

Well worth the read.

Yuthura's Unexpected Catch
Bald As Malak

Three years Post KOTOR: Yuthura meets either her soul mate or her nemesis

The piece was interesting, giving you a view of the slave trade through the eyes of someone who facilitates their service. The piece is compelling because the facilitator is someone you feel compelled to like, as Yuthura and Gizka himself feel.

Pick of the Week

Many Ways to Fall

KOTOR on Tatooine: Carth deals with the revelation of who Revan is

The piece is smoothly done, just some downtime before going on to the Star Forge. Carth's worries are well focused, and by the end are resolved.

Things That Should Never Be Forgotten

KOTOR, so specific period given: There are things the new Revan refuses to forget

The piece is too short to really get a handle on. It reads as a prologue.

The Pyre

KOTOR aboard Star Forge: As Canderous sits dying, he and Revan share some quality time

An interesting look at dying. It is curious how many times people seem to just relax when death is near, and how that last moment of life is the most sublime.

Edge of the World

Eight years Post KOTOR: Carth and Revan are reunited

The piece like the previous one from this author flowed well. The eerie calm makes it almost dreamlike.

Mission Accomplished
Facing My Failure

KOTOR aboard Ebon Hawk: Mission pushes Carth and Revan together

Except for the brandishing of weapons which I considered unnecessary, the story flowed very well. Mission being both peacemaker and Cupid strained my acceptance, but it worked out.

Dha Werda Verda RC1203

Pre AOTC: All this, and it was just an exercise

The piece runs hot and heavy with action. The 'training' is fast paced and grueling. Well done.

'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile
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