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Old 12-12-2011, 09:34 PM   #2
LordOfTheFish
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MrObiWan View Post
FEEDBACK WOULD BE APPRECIATED
The main thing you could do to enhance your story is work on the length. Try to be a little more detailed in your main scenes ( ie. when Baron is talking with Cassus. Add some fluff to thicken it up too, but don't leave the reader bored.

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