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Old 04-28-2012, 08:31 PM   #1270
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Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Las Vegas Nevada
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Angel of Comfort
Fall Out Guirl

TSL on Dantooine: After the confrontation at the Temple, Atton has to put the Exile back together.

The piece is really too short to get a good feel for it. The scene is generic, and needs polishing.

Ella Nutella

Post KOTOR: The woman Revan had become looks back on her past, and that of the person she has become.

Some cumbersome sentence structure, forgivable since the author is originally from Bulgaria. Nothing polishing and a beta reader can't cure.

The piece does what my own KOTOR work did, has the character looking not only at her own past, but the woman she has replaced as well. In my own, that woman is dead, but her memories, now the bulk of what Revan remembers, formed her as Revan's own memories form the Jedi turned Dark Lord before her redemption.


TSL on Dxun: Faced with a Dark Jedi, Davrel tries and fails to face his own memories

The piece is a perfect little piece of a minor character'spast, and fight to live up to his own ideals. The problem I had is simple.

I didn't have time to read all; four chapters!

Pick of the Week

Fires of Mordor

Post Jedi Academy II: Two new students discover their new destinies.

I read two chapters of this one; I couldn't help it, there was only enough to tease in part one. But what I did read had me interested enough to wish I had a chance to read on. The master having light sabers from some of the heroes and villains of recent history was well done.

Pick of the Week

An Empire of Lesions

Post TSL: With the Dark Exile going on his own, his associates must hurry to escape Malachor V

A nice piece with all of the dark side characters working frantically to get away from the planet. Five chapters long, too much to read in the little time I have, but if this teases you into reading it, so much better.

Pick of the Week

Kicking Dashboards and a Homo

KOTOR Aboard Ebon Hawk: Carth angst over the death of his wife causes other problems

The piece needs some serious sight editing. There are several places I had to go back and figure out what the sentence meant.

As for basic content, the piece was fun. As the author points out, the derogatory term is also the first part of 'thinking man' so why does it have to be an insult? And all he is really doing is telling Carth to 'be' a man.

As to the idea that he might swing the other way, as the author points out, it would have been better to be partying instead of whining about his loss all this time.


Five Days of Summer

KOTOR on Dantooine: Mission meets someone her own age

The piece is fun a brief time without action, with no danger. Just two young people acting as you'd expect. A lot of fun.

Pick of the Week

Return of the Exile

Post TSL: Atto and the Exile reunited

Remember that a melee weapon is a type, which includes swords, clubs, and even bare hands, so you could have saved the trouble by calling it a sword or lightsaber.

The piece was mainly a slice of life moving through time at a slow pace.

Playing with Matches

KOTOR on Korriban: Prequel to Smoke And Mirrors by Dinah Lance, Carth and Min (Revan) discuss how their relationships are not going

The writing pair always turns out good work, and this is not exception. Carth's protection of Bastila balanced with Min's desire for a man twice her age clashes delightfully. Every work by them has memorable lines, including (In this one) the characterization of the Korriban academy as 'a prep school for acne-riddled Malak wannabes' springs to mind. Well worth the read.

Pick of the Week

Star Killer, Starkiller, Part 1

Pre KOTOR on Taris: Revan remembers the last time she was on the planet

The piece is funny; a Huttette (Female instead of male) as a wannabe Jedi (With a pink pistol no less) kidnapping her. Having the kid not speak her own language was a cute touch. Revan's discussion with the Minkey-Lizard:

'The Kowakian, who has been silent up till now jutts in. “Ne. Ki chuba da naga? Bana ne rima di hatta. Mindi ya bana Jeday” [No. Kids these days. Don’t know their own ass from their homeland. Thinks she’s a Jedi.]

“Bana tila a je kalia duga.” [Boy, that must be frustrating.]

“Ji uyari men yo nara.” [You have no idea.]'

Was like a layer of frosting in the cake.

Pick of the Week

Shattered Destiny - Chapter 1 : One Last Hunt

Post TSL: A young Mandalorian warrior gets a chance to become a Jedi

The piece is excellently done, both from the technical view, but from characterization view as well. I always love a story where the Mando'a are represented not as thugs, but as honorable peoples.

Pick of the Week

Codename SAILORV

Post TSL: As the new Jedi rebuild after Malachor V, those who are left behind also find strength in it.

An excellent piece in an excellent week, the questioning goes from what Revan was really like to which aspect of the force is stronger. It ends on an excellent note. Well worth reading.

Pick of the Week

'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile
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