Check this out.
Probably the best deal you're going to see on a decent make with the latest AMD APU like I described. I couldn't find one with a Blu-ray burner, but here's one that you could replace the DVD-RW drive with.
Total cost will be ~$615, which is about as cheap as you're going to find for all of the features you want.
Like I said, CPU performance won't be spectacular, but it won't be slow, either, and gaming performance will be way better than anything with Intel graphics.
"They should rename the team to the Washington Government Sucks. Put Obama on the helmet. Line the entire walls of the stadium with the actual text of the ACA.
Fix their home team score on the board to the debt clock, they can win every game 17,000,000,000,000 to 24. Losing team gets taxed by the IRS 100%, then droned."