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Old 11-24-2012, 12:33 AM   #1311
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Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Las Vegas Nevada
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Thorüsa: Not a Shade of Doubt

Medieval fantasy tale: Chapter two of an ongoing work

I am curious as to why she cannot even touch her own ethereal body. I do understand her caution as phasing through a wall at present, but wondered why she kept expending effort to pick up material objects until she succeeded in opening the door.

Making her their equivalent of a ghost makes some sense; after all part of the reason given for the realm's existence is that people there can communicate with those who have not yet gone on.

The situation seems grim for her master for obvious reasons. After all, from my own study of history, any group that can convince all of their followers to ignore a supernova bright enough to read by would never let facts stand in front of the faith.

Thorüsa: The Missing Place

Medieval fantasy tale: Chapter 3 of the ongoing work

The view of the world was very interersting. Seeing the balanced forces of nature, both renewal and destruction, almost personalized. For the first time we see the avatars of both the Celesti and the leeches. I only wonder why there is only one celesti and thousands of leeches unless they are supposed to act in concert to drag a single soul to hell...

Both pieces this week well written as always.

I was able to get to a cached page from kotorfanmedia which had a comment that the ongoing problems they have been experiencing since their domain name change is still ongoing. Hope it gets fixed soon. It just means you'll be reading a lot more from, and I know you all just hate that...

Broken Bones Broken Heart

Set in the Star Wars Galaxy RPG: A chance meeting causes the heroine to flee

The piece was too short. All we know about the main character is that she was a dancer, and that she is terrified of the 'masked man' for no apparent reason. Terrified enough to sell everything to escape him.

Zeren Jade

TSL from the beginning: The hero thinks

Remember to sight edit. When you said 'removed from the vents' I believe you meant 'removed from the (e)vents'.

The prologue made this good reading. Like my own work, the main character has a lot of angst over the war, but unlike mine, she pretty much ran from it. Though that was a valid option. Mine got a job where her non-Jedi skills were still usable.

Star Wars Reunion
Purple Bladed Jedi

Two Years Post TSL: Revan is back, but is she friend or foe?

Even three chapters into it there were too many questions; why is she seeking this specific person? How if that person linked enough into the Republic military that they are willing to stop Revan? And most important, why are they sure Revan came to assassinate the person

Tales of KOTOR The Lost Souls

TSL aboard Ebon Hawk: Wih his new found Jedi abilities still a mystery, Bao-Dur has other things interfering.

The piece was confusing. It seems the Exile is doing everything she can to bind him more firmly to her, without committing to love or training him.

Choosing Sides

Pre KOTOR: While negotiating with the Selkath, a Jedi master finds other things to worry about.

The piece has only one problem; It was too short and merely stopped! The setting of the trap is well done, including slow release gas to along with one expert shot (Jaq Rand) to be yet additional threats as two engage her with blades. We are hung up in a battle where the first one to make a mistake is likely going to die, and the Jedi has just decide to make a mistake just to draw her enemy out.

Pick of the week

I've decided that it isn't me having problems with fanfiction. Last night I did the review of the above story before crashing after devouring both drumsticks off my turkey. This morning I reloaded the page, clicked the back space, and ended up on the same file page (88) with stories I have never seen before and no trace of the one I had just reviewed.


Later, after venting, I found a link that takes me back to where I was. I have to reload from the link every time I want to return, but I can deal with that for the next weeks

The Mandalorian

During TSL: A member of the Peragus mining team fights for his life.

The scenes do not flow very well. The work needs polishing. Also spelling Jolee Bindo backwards really isn't a new character name. We know that HK51 was reprogramming the mining droids to kill the people, but there was never a scene in the game where the droids used his voice.

A Jedi's Life is Sacrifice

KOTOR after Leviathan: The crew flees, but cannot escape the truth

The piece is very well done with the team fighting Malik even though they are torn apart by the revelation. It is reminiscent of my own version of the same scene, except that being lovers was something Revan had considered only after Malik lost his jaw.

Pick of the Week

Slaughter of the Jedi Temple

Post KOTOR Darkside ending: History repeats itself in the past.

The word is planner (good with plans) rather than planer (A motorized device to plane wood.) and sweet instead of sweat.

The piece like the scene in the movie it mimics went too easy for the attackers in my mind; the good guys going down like dominos.

Full Circle

Five Years Post KOTOR: Revan remembers what she left behind.

The piece is sad with poignant memories. Very well done.

Pick of the Week

An Offer of Enlistment

Pre KOTOR: The famous choice from history; jail or join

This is one of the best pre-stories I have seen. Like my own where I created the entire prehistory of my own Revan before her 'death' and rebirth.

Pick of the Week

Doctor Crackers

Post KOTOR: Sometimes, the shrink is almost as crazy as the patients

The piece started out odd, and went downhill from there. The doctor can't remember anyone's name, seems as I mentioned, crazier than Carth until the pilot tries to kiss him.

A pity; we never found out what happened to Jolee.

Pick of the Week

Jiara Anatalis

KOTOR on Tatooine: So that's how it happened!

The piece is funny and moves well as all of Jiara's work does. From accepting delivery of the original package to placing a bounty on the head of the man who did so if he doesn't get rid of the cargo was a riot. The reaction of the alien members of the crew made it very amusing.

Pick of the Week

'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile
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