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Old 01-19-2013, 01:34 AM   #38
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Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Las Vegas Nevada
Posts: 2,874
Current Game: Dungeonseige series
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Into the Frey

During ANH: Three real odd fellows escape from the Tantive IV

Grammar problems; You here(hear) them to(o) right, and the word is fray (Battle) not Frey (Norse God) also it is console, not counsel.

The piece was light, confusing, and a riot. The end of the first chapter, with the officer not shooting the pod because there was no intelligent life in it was just icing on the cake.

Full Circle
Athena Solaris

KOTOR aboard Star Forge: Only now does she realize her error

The piece is a long rationalization of why the changes for the worse are good. Yet inside the newly risen Revan, there was hope until this moment.

Pick of the Week


KOTOR after the Leviathan revelation: The only one left to accept the truth is Carth

The piece is basically a generic view of Carth accepting who Revan is now rather than who she had been. While some react negatively to the term generic, it means just that it is a workmanlike job without too many frills. It was worth the read.

Behind The Mask

KOTOR aboard Ebon Hawk: Behind the mask there is someone who is seeking love

The piece focuses on just one thing, the burgeoning relationship between Revan and Bastila. The situation is lightened by Mission almost giggling like a school girl about Bastila's condition.

As I commented in my own KOTOR work, it would have been more logical for the Jedi to teach focusing and controlling their emotions rather than denying them completely.

Stargate: Republic Commando Star Wars Version

Republic Commando/Stargate Crossover: Delta Squad finds a strange portal to...Earth?

The piece needs a sight edit. A lot of times a word is truncated, such as the word any being spelled as Ny. Don't sweat that, I sometimes have letters left off because my keyboard sticks a bit. That's why I said sight edit.One thing you did consistently is misspell Separatist.

The real negative I have of this is it violates the 'long ago in a galaxy far, far away' rule. While a Stargate can transport you across space, why would they end up in our world of today? Why not arrive before the Egyptians buried it initially? In fact the arrival of people like Delta squad could have been the catalyst for that action.

To Helen On the Occasion of Her Birth
Lorelei Jane

Post TSL: A pair of proud parents begin a diary for their newborn daughter.

The piece is in two parts; one for each parent, and both have the feel and voice of the characters well established. I liked the nuances of each, Jennet chiding her about the first kiss that won't happen for over a decade, and all the effort she will end up putting into having privacy for that. Balanced by Canderous wanting her to choose a man willing to stand up to her father; not without fear (Or I won't have done my job right) and comparing the birth to a planning and surviving a battle.


Pick of the Week

The One Force Book I
Mr. Dimensional

KOTOR on Taris: The beginning of the saga

I don't know why the author discontinued the work, it was rather good; changing up the beginning to put a Sith trooper in Trask's place, having both her and Carth starting to have emotional feelings earlier than anticipated. I would have liked to see it continue.

Pick of the week


TSL after final fight with Kreia: One last battle before they go on

The piece is well done, and the diatribe at G0T0 about what she will do if he doesn't let her finally destroy Malachor was choice.

Pick of the Week

Rapper's Tale

Star Wars Galaxy: A planet separated from the galaxy for over as century sends out a probe to discover what has happened to the Old Republic

Well written, though confusing for the reasons mentioned below.

First, what basis for comparison does the main character have when determining what is girlfriend is like? Think of comparing someone from the Old Spanish Empire to a modern day Spanish girl, which is close enough in time to use.

Technical note: You confused me with the idea that the planet the character represents has been separated from the Galaxy for 111 years. You see, that means the representative in the Senate has also been separated for the same time. It wasn't until later that I worked out that it was the planet itself trying to contact the Republic again.

For Mandalore
Niobe Asha

No specific period given: A mando'a's thoughts going into battle

The piece is short, but it gives an insight into the thoughts of a warrior going into battle.

Light and Dark

TSL after Malachor V: A new vision leads the Exile to her new quest

The piece was a bit confusing, but by the end I wished there was more.

Pick of the Week

Cloak and Dagger
Kendoka Girl

TSL during Onderon Civil War: As they approach, the Exile wonders who the enemy is below...

The piece is interesting because of a deprture from the basic game, having Atton change sides and set up his erstwhile companions. Very excellent concept.

Pick of the Week

'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile
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