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Old 03-17-2013, 01:00 AM   #1330
machievelli
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Coruscant Entertainment Center

Khem loves Killiks
Chevron 7 locke

During the time of Tulak Hord: Khem Val has a unique appetite...

The piece reminded me of an old joke. A Newsman talking to a cannibal leader. He asks him what he thinks of modern technology, and the cannibal says his tribe likes airplanes. When asked why, the cannibal replies, 'they are like lobsters, you can't eat the shell, but the meat inside is good'.

From what little I know about Killiks, he can have all he wants. I'll even supply a five pound tub of butter.

Pick of the Week

Fanfiction.net

Dark Messiah: Mandalorian Wars
Vile Twitch

During Mandalorian War:

It's since, not sense, matter of honor, not manner,

Remember tenses, it is the damaged conduit.

Technical note navigation and maneuvering: In Navigation, a compass has only 360 degrees in a full circle. For any short distance, this is quite sufficient, and before you ask, for combat maneuvering within a solar system, it is more than enough. In plotting a hyperspace jump, a figure as large as you have could be used, since you would have to work with much larger distances.

With modern systems (meaning what we have at present on Earth) most consider a minute of arc (one sixtieth of a degree) sufficient. At present, this term is used primarily in judging the accuracy of direct fire with cannon or rifles. What it means, for a layman, is that one minute of arc is equal to slightly more than 25mm at one hundred meter, one inch at a hundred yards. Meaning your bullet is hitting one inch away from the direct aiminging point.

While that was more than adequate for travel on earth, in space the distance builds up rapidly. As an example, if you planned and jumped exactly one light second, approximately 300,000 kilometers, you would be approximately 75 kilometers from where you had intended to go. Jumping one light year, approximately 10 trillion kilometers, you would have been 2.19 light hours from your intended position. Our entire solar system is only about 8.5 light hours across.
Technical notes, Shielding: Because of the possiblity that a spacecraft could be hit by even micrometeorites, they would have to block at least some impact. They can be overloaded, but would not be nonexistent.

What's Gamorrean For I'm Sorry
Amy Larson

Post TSL: Extended epilogue for Your Guardian Angel, Revan finds a reason to come home.

Only one negative. You have Carth's hair insulting his eye. Since that is what affront means.

Short but sweet. The idea that it has been so long that Revan actually needs a reason to go home is constant, but still well done.

Primal
DyrraDegan

Post TSL four days after destruction of Malachor V on Rakata Prime: The Exile gets more than an explanation

Remember to sight edit; you can accidentally use the wrong word if it passes a spelling check. It's alerting (Warning) not altering (Changing).

Main character/Canderous romances are rare, and when they show up I always watch for how he reacts more than the Jedi involved. Having him be a bit forceful giving into his desires, but at the same time unwilling to unbend completely fits with the character.

Pick of the Week

Return of the Gizka
Emalin

Originally reviewed at Galactic Senate Coruscant Theater on 22 December 2006. That review, and an expansion of it, is below:

A slightly comedic confrontation between Atton and the Gizka from hell.

The scene was well set up, and the denouement was totally surprising and at the same time funny. Again, well done.

Expansion: Usually I do not expand on older reviews when they become Reprise picks, but this one was written before I knew who all of the characters were. So when I hit this one I went back and read the story again.

Now knowing who the characters are, and picturing the humorless Kreia assisting the Exile in pulling a practical joke is funny, and the purple hssiss now means something.

Reprise Pick of the Week

Crossover Episode 1: KOTOR Vs Mass Effect
Miholik

Crossover: While Saren Arterius from Mass Effect is studying the alien warship Sovereign, he meets a surprising pair from another universe

Having never played Mass Effect (My computer isn't powerful enough to play it) I had to look up the ship in question. My major complaint here is the same as I had with a story from about two weeks ago.

Technical note: The Star Forge in KOTOR is a manufacturing facility, not a starship. While you could use the station itself to create and mount weapons and engines, it would not be either mobile enough or powerful enough to be considered a major threat for quite some time. You would have to design it's additions and install them carefully, and that would take years. If you accept the timeline for Star Wars from Revenge Of the Sith to A New Hope, it took the Empire over 20 years to build and launch the Deathstar for example. If Revan (Or in this crossover Saren) used the Star Forge in this manner, the only advantage they would have is that the Star Forge would not need to wait for material to be delivered from other locations, which I will admit would speed things up, but not this much.

Imbroglio
CarnivorousPineapple

9 years Post-KOTOR On Citadel Station: Revan finally returns, but it isn't the happy ending you would expect

The piece is short, sweet, and like a dagger to the heart. The worst thing for the situation is the final line.

Pick of the Week

Meatbag Status
Achalys

Mandalorian Wars: HK is finally completed

I have noticed that a lot of the younger writers tend to misuse the word 'sniper'. For that matter I know a coworker whos uses the term for a partially smoked cigarette for some reason. In proper usage you do not have a sniper except for a term assigned to a specially trained soldier, you have a sniper rifle (equipped for use by a sniper), or a sniper scope (The actual attachment that converts a regular rifle to use by a sniper). From what I have seen, the SW role playing game has the same problem; a Jedi who is good at throwing his lightsaber for example, being called a Jedi sniper.

The piece was funny because this author has HK come up with the term meatbag. Of course his explanation of why he uses the term reminds me of the Star Trek The Next Generation episode with the sentient crystals on the planet they are terraforming calling humans 'big ugly bags of mostly water'.

Coward
DhtrofIsis

Post-KOTOR on Citadel Station: As she prepares to leave for the Unknown Regions, Revan imagines the argument she is circumventing

The piece was excellent after reading Imbroglio above. A counterpoint to what wil be at the start and ending.

Pick of the Week

A little dream
Nemoxgirl

KOTOR after Leviathan: Can a dream heal the breach between Revan and Carth?

Remember to sight edit to avoid using the wrong word or phrasing. For example 'Well… Carth do'. Should be did. 'Apparently did he destroy Telos as a gift or something' should have the word 'did' removed, and destroyed instead. Also wonna is spelled wanna.

Considering all of the inappropriate gifts I have heard of, I consider Malak's a bit over the top

Knights Of The Old Republic
Anaare

Pre KOTOR: The first entry into the tomb

The piece is far too short to get an accurate view of a lot of the author's skills. The author has a good grasp of the language, though I wonder about drawling as used. Also, remember to sight edit to avoid using taught (teach) instead of taut(tight)

Let's Go: Star Wars KOTOR
Sea-EnigmaDare

Post-KOTOR: Remembering to past before walking into the future

The piece is relatively well written. The author doesn't have a complete grasp of English, so there are flaws, however the day I can write one of my stories in Bahasa Malaysia, I'll really criticize them.

It is a fluffly piece with a few dark moment as she reminisces about the revelation of her past, and how she interacted with the others of that crew. Then segues into now, where she is married to Carth, and Dustil had married Mission. A nice little slice of life.

Decisions of a Dangerous Mind
Red Ace

Mandalorian Wars Era: Revan remembers the war, and the eventual fall. Companion piece to Reflections of a Dangerous Mind

As I said before, remember to sight edit. You have the word plants instead of planets for example.

The work is good because you can see the descent into the darkness as the narrative progresses. However one thing bothered me, which I cover below in Technical notes.

Technical notes, warrior societies: Over at LucasForums I wrote an article explaining warrior societies at; LucasForums > Network > Knights of the Old Republic > Community > Coruscant Entertainment Centre > The Resource Centre > How to understand the Mandalorians. The primary reason I did was I didn't like the original game authors' view of how the Mandalorians act generally. While brutal, most warrior societies had codes of conduct that forswear the casual brutality displayed. They also have rigid hierarchical rules; You obey the orders from above, and there is always someone with that authority. But that also means you have to replace that authority if something happens.

As an example from history, the Mongol Invasion of Europe started by Kublai Khan ended when he died. Not because they had won, but because under Mongol law, the leaders of that invasion were required to return home and swear fealty to the new Khan. Since the Mandalorians had a meritocracy that meant they had to do the equivalent of electing a new Pope before continuing. Taking the example above, if Kublai had personally led his armies, they would have had to withdraw, choose a new Khan, then resume. As it was, with several thousand kilometers between the thone and the front, it ended that incursion.

This is not the only such reverent I could have used. A lot of Native American tribes abruptly ended battles when their leader died leading an assault. A lot of older empires had the same rule the Mongols did. There are recorded incidents where leaders refused this kind of order and were later executed for that hubris.
So having some charismatic leader suddenly decide to fight on might be a possibility, but it would have been unlikely.

On top of that, what you have set up is a trial by champion, an ancient rite where the opponents agreed that the duel settled the conflict. To violate it would be dishonorable, though there are incidents recorded when the losing side did just that. The best remembered, at least in the Christian World, was when David faced off against Goliath in the Bible. In the Movie From Hell to Eternity. Based on the true life actions of Guy Gabaldon where he convinced Japanese troops to surrender on the Island of Saipan, the General in charge in the fictional account listened to his argument, and ordered his people to surrender as he commited Seppuku.

Beyond that an excellent read. Pick of the Week


'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
Acceptance
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile
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