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Old 04-13-2013, 09:50 AM   #1334
machievelli
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The Nar Shaddaa Massacre
Icey Cold

TSL on Nar Shaddaa: Some R&R can get ugly

The piece has an interesting view of the Force in that you can be overwhelmed by your surroundings if untrained. In my own Return from Exile (Same screen name at Lucasforums) I did the same thing, first with the Handmaiden, then with Mira.

One error, a waiver is a document saying you don't have to complete an action, not a waver. Which is to be undecided.

Didn't have time to read more than the first of three chapters, but it is looking good so far.

Revan's Apprentice
Almostinsane

Specific time frame not given, though probably Pre KOTOR: A village dies and a new Sith is born

The biggest problem I had was the two attacks didn't make sense, First, the Mandalorians attack, and thinking that their armor is skin makes sense. However the first attack was using a sledgehammer to crack walnuts. It would be like a modern Army unit with tanks and air support attacking a tribe of Kalahari Bushmen. Grabbing the planet to occupy it for a base might make sense, but you wouldn't waste time slaughtering the natives unless they force the issue. As horrible as the Imperial period here on Earth was, the occupying forces rarely came in guns blazing.

The second attack made less sense because there is even less reason for the slaughter. If it were a raid by pirates, it's a waste of money and manpower to destroy a native settlement without any gain that I could ascertain. If it were a slave taking raid, why are they using edged weapons instead of stunners and gas grenades? The valuable portion of the settlement would be the people you can enslave, and every dead slave is nothing more than fertilizer.

The Price
Lady Tragic

Pre TSL: The birth of Darth Sion

The piece is short and to the point. The soon to be Darth Sion is broken down until only only two things remain; the pain that will never go away, and his thirst for revenge.

KOTOR Snippets
Cat Avatar for the DCG

KOTOR on Taris: A look at first impressions

The two chapters were only 433 words, less than two pages total. Each is merely a snapshot; the first time seeing Carth in action, then seeing Canderous in that first meeting. Both were good in their own way, since what we're getting is a look at the characters in first time situations.

Christmas Lights
Rarecase

KOTOR aboard Ebon Hawk: A kiss under the mistletoe

The piece is, as the author warned, light and fluffy. My only problem with it is addressed at Lucasforums> Knights of the Old Republic> Coruscant Entertainment Center >
Resource Center> The Expert Forum > Page 3 > Post 118

Tales From Wild Space
Skywater1

300 years after the time of Luke Skywalker:

Remember to finish sentences. You left out a word (Inserted by me) in 'Maybe this summoning (wouldn't) be so bad after all'.

Technical note: Revan lived around 3999 BBY, yet you have the holocron being delivered to the tomb over 500 years later. Who delivered it? Second, Marko Ragnos' tomb is overused, it was the scene of Revan's trials for prestige, then again in Jedi Academy.

Only had time to read the first two chapters, my only question is why only this one person recognized it as a Sith holocron. If this were an Indiana Jones story, the kid doing the research would have had all of Jones' notes to use, along with all of the data given to the University.

Coward
Achalys

TSL on Malachor V: She only realizes the truth when he dies

The piece is a self castigating nightmare, but so well written I loved it. All of her own thoughts on death are logical fears you would expect, but seeing someone else face what makes you afraid is always shocking at the core.

Pick of the Week

Learning from the Past
Lord Darth Master

During climactic Jedi fight in ROTS and eight years Post-KOTOR: Anakin gets a taste of what happened way back when...

The piece was well done. The idea that Yoda might have been the one that confronted Palpatine instead of Windu made it even more interesting. Having Yoda implant the memories of Revan into the young Jedi's mind was a neat twist, and having him wake up aboard the Ebon Hawk 4,000 years earlier a strange twist.

Technical note, Prosthesis: The main problem I had with the piece is having him wake up with a brand new prosthetic arm. This is not something you could just whip up out of stores on a small ship like the Ebon Hawk. If it were state of the art of say forty years ago here on Earth, you could replace it with an articulated hook as was done back then, but even comparing a modern day replacement to the ones used in the Pre-Imperial period, it would need a lot more technical support than the ship could supply.

With Anakin now stranded in the ancient past, and five chapters to go I wished I could keep reading.

Pick of the Week


MaggOnasi and RevanBodyguard

Post-KOTOR and during TSL, no specific section given: The memories just keep coming

Remember to sight edit, you have a missing word, in 'you turned agai(n)st Revan once and for (all),'. You used studdering when you might have meant stuttering, and loose (not tight) when you meant lose.

My primary confusion was how Revan and the Exile ended up on the same ship at the same time; especially since your own timeline had Carth teaching how to fly the Hawk only a year earlier.

Real Smooth, Carth
MaggOnasi and RevanBodyguard

KOTOR no specific time given: Carth could use lessons in how to talk to a woman...

The piece is reminiscent to a scene in one of the Argeneau vampire series by Lynsey Sands where a man is trying to convince the woman he loves that he loves her just the way she is. She had been dumped in a previous bad relationship because of her figure, and his reply that he doesn't care if she looks like Olive Oyl is, as you might think, the wrong thing to say.

His follow up isn't much better, since he comments that when he'd imagine who he might fall in love with, Jessica Rabbit comes up.

It is funny seeing Carth as much at sea in love as a Jedi might be, and making the same mistakes any of us guys might make in the process.

Mission, Impossible
MaggOnasi and RevanBodyguard

KOTOR aboard Leviathan: Mission gets to strut her stuff

Remember to sight edit, You used sence instead of sense, and equitment instead of equipment.

I liked the escape scene from KOTOR so much I used every variation in my own work KOTOR Excerpts (Same screen name) over at Lucasforums in post 102 starting with The Crew that wishes to remain nameless.

Non Timetis Messor
HelenaL

Pre-KOTOR/Discworld crossover: There is only one constant, and even that is up for review...

When I saw the crossover, I took a few seconds to figure out who of all the Discworld might show up. But then it hit me. An aside; there are five authors I read consistently, and when it comes time to buy a book, one of them will win hands down if it's a choice. They are, Laurell K Hamilton, John Ringo, Lynsey Sands, David Weber, and of course Terry Pratchett, Author of the Discworld. I recommend all of them highly.

This piece would fit in well in his series, because Death is always reacting in a human manner when it comes to those he collects. Pratchett himself created the attitude that Death was being reshaped all the time by those he collected, creating what he called the 'trousers of time' for example where two possible futures merge for a moment, and one character gets to live one existence while at the same time hearing (Thanks to grabbing the wrong hand held imp powered computer) what happened in the other timeline as he witnesses at a remove the death of everyone he cared about.

The aside comments Death thinks about are pure Pratchett, especially 'As the saying went, only two things in life are certain, and you don't get a lot of taxes on worlds populated solely by single-celled protozoa'.

Here we see the battle between Bastila and Revan, and Death (As he sometimes does) has a little speech prepared to tell off the miscreant. In this case he even gets to give a good portion of it before Bastila saves Revan. But of course we humans, even in the Star Wars galaxy, don't get to hold onto those words of ancient wisdom.

Except as readers.

Pick of the Week


'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
Acceptance
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile
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