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Old 12-08-1999, 07:47 AM   #1
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Lightbulb Low Orbital Collision Theory

Hey, gang! Anyone else get a kick out of the whole Mars probe "Lost in Space" serial? As a hardworking taxpayer, I sure do! It's a chance for my tax dollars to buy me a chuckle, which medical science suggests can be a strong healing factor.

I feel better already!

We need theories, kids, to help out our poor, lost NASA friends. They seem to have lost yet another multi-million dollar spacecraft on a wide, barren expanse of undifferentiated pink frozen sand. they don't know if it's a communications thing, total crash and burn or what...all they know is they can't reach the thing by radio.

I can see Mars from my front porch, for God's sake, and I got the cell phone right here! What's the friggin' number?

I used Jedi mind powers to explore the issue with other means, and had a vision of the lander exploding in low orbit, before it made it to the surface. Whatever hit it, it was going hella fast and carrying enough mass to turn the lander into metallic puff.

So this is my theory, and it's the only one that can explain it. It was hit by the same bullet that killed JFK in Dallas back in '63; due to secret testing with microgravitational wormholes in those days, the bullet was accidentally sucked through a "test gate" right after it's miraculous trajectory in Dealy Plaza. Obviously, it came back into our space/time continuum just in time to wipe out that latest Mars probe, circle all the way around the planet several more times and wipe out the Polar Lander the other day. one HECK of a super bullet...!

More theories?

"The entire universe is simply the fractal chaos boundary between intersecting domains of high and low energy."

--Imladil the Magician

"Is it possible to alter time without altering space?"

--Little Jimmy

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