Canderis please allow me to congratulate you for posting this. Death, Religion, and everything associated with it are usually very uncomfortable for anyone to talk about.
I will start off by saying I am a Christian, and I think a lot like you I wanted solid proof. I grew up a Lutheran and have very recently switched to a non-denominational church. Let me tell you upon switching to a non-denominational church it was almost as if I was slapped in the face with why God had to be the awnser. My second week at the church the pastor brought in a scientist who was against God and asked him many different questions. The scientist was unable to disprove God and did not even have a valid argument against much of what was asked. In the end this scientist explained it like this: (and I am sorry as its exactly the awnser a someone struggling with religion does not want to hear)He said scince cannot disprove God nor can it prove God.
Unfortunately this brings me to the sad conclusion that I have personnaly drawn; Just as you expect to wake up when you fall asleep you have to just expect that there is a God and if there is not, what the hell could you have done about it anyways?"
Hope this helps-Supreme Kotor
Current WIP: Learning to mod Kotor