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Old 07-12-2013, 10:42 PM   #1349
machievelli
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Revenge Of the Sith
Amme Moto

Post KOTOR enroute to Nar Shaddaa: Follow on to Attack of the Clones, Connan (Revan) reveals what happened in the future as they go in search of the Exile...

The piece was better than the author wishes to believe. Having two weddings because one 4,000 later in time wouldn't be legal now was a good touch, and it's nice to see that Bastila has begun to mellow.

A pity I can't read it all... I have a weakness for time travel stories, and trying to change the future from her viewpoint is always one of the hardest ones to explain, let alone do.

Pick of the Week

Salvatoris
StatlerWaldorf

One year Post TSL: The Jedi Academy is a shambles, and we find Revan gods alone knows where...

The piece was a bit confusing, especially considering the intro blurb. We have yet to see the Exile or what condition she is in. But the home front is getting far out of hand...

Bastila: Through my Eyes
ikg218

Pre KOTOR: Bastila rereads her diary and remembers her past.

It is an interesting take on the character. There are only a couple of negatives I see.

First, people who write diaries have to wait until the they can write. Oh this could be a verbal one, like a recording instead, that can start as soon as the person can talk coherently, but the style suggests someone writing a narrative (Which you are) and diaries are not written that way.

Second, considering the description of her early family life, you have pretty much taken someone who her later descriptions in conversation with Revan sounded like Indiana Jones, and converted him into a simple 17th century muckraker. While you may take this as harsh criticism, it is not. It's just that the term we use now only started in the early 20th century because it wasn't even a use name in English society. It was applied to people who searched along the gutters for useful items they could sell.

Calling her father a hunter with that provenance, would be like calling a gambler a high roller when he bets only pennies.

Delusions
sweetXwhenXsilent

KOTOR No planet given: Revan gets drunk, and has it out with Bastila

Actually, from the professional view(I've been writing for longer than you've been alive), I see no negatives with this piece, regardless of your comments on how bad you are. The confrontation is pretty basic, and knowing both characters (As they are portrayed in the game) I am surprised it doesn't happen more often.

This reminds me of the Novel Yesterday's Son in the Star Trek Universe, where Spock returns to the past of the episode All of Our Yesterdays to retrieve the son he and Zarabeth shared. The boy(actually young man), raised in that environment is nothing like a Vulcan, and Spock, instead of acting like a father, suddenly becomes the Vulcan teachers he despised as a boy. So much so that the boy in the middle of an argument orders a meal of bloody meat and begins to eat it just to drive the older man away.

Bastila has always been one of the hardest characters to deal with for me playing the game. She is so judgmental and pushy that sometimes in that first game I wanted to bitch slap her.

Sith of the Old Republic: Darth Revan and Malak
Nixi-ixin

KOTOR on the Star Forge: Malak flashes back to when he began his fall

The primary problem I had was that Revan had supposedly never shown her face even to the other Jedi that went off to war. This doesn't make a whole lot of sense, as they are the only group she fought alongside who were never going to judge this book by it's cover.

Dialogue
Crimson Riddler

TSL aboard the Ebon Hawk: Looking for love, but the writers didn't add it until much later...

The piece blindsided me. Here we have an Exile with hormones running amuck, and the only dialogue linked to romance is Kreia's commentary on why he shouldn't. None of the ladies aboard have a clue as to what he's talking about, he's losing influence and capability left and right because of his actions, and ends up threatening to slaughter off the writers in a fit of pique.

And like any story where you have wishes, he gets what he wants, but again not yet...

Pick of the Week

Empty
Crimson Riddler

KOTOR aboard the Star Forge: When he reaches the final confrontation, there's nothing left.

The piece deals with the aftermath of Revan having to kill Bastila rather than redeeming her. It is well done, tightly focused and gripping. Revan's actions, using the Force only long enough to get close enough to kill his enemy is perfect, and the end what you would expect.

Pick of the Week

Reversal
Crimson Riddler

KOTOR aboard Ebon Hawk: What to do, what to do...

The piece made me chuckle when I saw it. I agree that you wimped out by just having Juhani meditating. If it had been me I would have made it a threesome. That would have fit Revan's last line...

Pick of the Week

It Burns
Crimson Riddler

TSL Inside someone's mind...: Vengeance will come

I hate to admit it, CR, but after reading it, then going through the character list for TSL, I don't have a clue as to who (Beyond the thought of the Handmaiden, after all we know [or at least I think I know] who her father is).

That said, the piece is a tightly focused look into a mind coming apart. Very well done.

Pick of the Week

Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic III: The End
What Contented Men Desire

Post KOTOR five years: Revan returns

The piece had one unique twist; that Revan's final message was not 'come and find me' but rather, 'stay and fix the problems for when I return'. The fight was also unique, in that in my own Return From Exile (TSL novelization) I describe a martial arts master doing what is called 'walking the house'.

For those who don't understand the term, it is used when a visiting martial artist wishes to speak with the master. If you are not a martial artist, the students will help only a little; asking someone senior to them for permission to take you further. But if you are yourself a practitioner, you must defeat those who feel they are good enough to stand in your way, working yourself through the ranks until you must confront the master himself.

Unless you are a devotee of such movies, you don't see it that often. If you want to see it (Though it is done in a comedy form) Watch the confrontation in the Dojo shown in Rush Hour II.

After this beginning, I really wanted to read further.

Pick of the Week

A Council's Apathy
Bronzeraven

Pre KOTOR before the Jedi entered the Mandalorian Wars: Malak waits through Revan's last confrontation with the Council

The piece has only two new points, that the meeting is one of five before they depart, and that Revan and Malak had already been lovers before their departure.

Finding You
Lillwyn

Two years post TSL: After escaping from captivity, the Exile must now arrange Revan's rescue.

The only glaring problem is that I don't know if Carth's reaction is just a holdover from his old paranoia or not.

Technical: Airworthy implies a standard aircraft, rather than a spacecraft. The correct term would be spaceworthy.


'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
Acceptance
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile
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