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Old 10-27-2013, 11:00 AM   #18
The Doctor
Retired
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 4,415
Current Game: Skyrim
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I find myself, for I'm pretty sure the first time in eight years, agreeing wholeheartedly with Lynk.

Suicide is a hard issue for me. I was suicidal as a teenager. Twice, actually. Once at 13, when I actually attempted to kill myself as a result of some heavy bullying; and again at 17 following both a hard breakup and the death of my Grandfather. And since then I've also dealt with the depression and suicidal thoughts of more than one friend. Some worked out in the end, and I like to think I had a part to play, even a small one, in their eventual recovery. Others... I dealt with rather badly, with less than happy results.

The issues being dealt with by someone contemplating suicide are never seen as temporary. Grief, fear, rejection, and loneliness all have a way of blinding one to the rest of reality and circumstance. And these are all things that different people with different life experiences handle in their own ways and at their own pace. Some people take a very long time to come to terms with these things compared to others.

I'll use my own experience as a brief example. My then-girlfriend had next to no relationship with her own grandparents, so she wasn't able to understand my grief after losing my Grandfather. So while I wasn't yet ready to let go of my grief even a month later, she saw me as depressing and needy. Then when we broke up the following summer, many of my friends didn't realise how difficult the weight of loss over the previous months was for me, and felt I was being overly dramatic. Other people expected me to have been able to deal with events and emotional issues the same way and in the same time they themselves would, and this just isn't the case.

I can't say I agree with the idea that some people just need to "snap out of it". Maybe some people can indeed be forced to see and acknowledge the whole of their circumstances through tough love... but I was never one of them, nor are any of the people I've known who've suffered through suicide or depression. Clinical depression just plain isn't something that someone can "snap out of" - they need medication, therapy, and emotional support to overcome their very real mental illness.
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