View Single Post
Old 12-21-2013, 06:56 AM   #1374
machievelli
Local curmudgeon
 
machievelli's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Las Vegas Nevada
Posts: 2,819
Current Game: Dungeonseige series
Hot Topic Starter Veteran Fan Fic Author Helpful! Forum Veteran 
The Most Difficult Discipline
Jest'lyn Tal

Post KOTOR on Korriban: Bastila makes her own choice

The piece is far too short to know how well it will be. Nothing more than an intro and hasn't been updated in four years. Too bad, I have liked the author's work up to this point.

Clothes
Setrus

KOTOR aboard Ebon Hawk: I'd say she's a bit conflicted...

After reading the blurb, I wasn't sure what to expect. But the scenes that followed were choice. Bastila stopping him from continuing a sentence, then spending the rest of the time wondering if he was really going to say that. Having a man massage you and trying not to react beyond your muscles, her reaction when he casually suggests a Jedi 'nude' day followed by changing his mind because Jolee might join in...

And it ends with her deciding 'on her own' to stay in the same uniform. But I have to agree, in that out fit she does have a nice... rear.

Pick of the Week

The Beneris Conflict
The Outlander

In the interim between the Jedi Civil War and Darth Bane: A pair of Jedi are sent on another assignment.

Remember to sight edit and rewrite. You called the Jedi High Council the High Jedi council several times. You also forgot that in common usage, it is my Padawan and I, not me and.

I was a bit confused at the start since the author give a date of 2203 years before the Galactic Empire, then in the starting paragraph a date of 3700.

Saying the Galaxy is in peace and harmony, then enumerating everything the Sith are doing in the same paragraph doesn't make sense. It would be like saying the world was at peace in 1972, if you don't pay attention to the Nicaragua, Vietnam, the constant War of Attrition between Israel and Egypt just to mention a few.

The situation on Beneris reminds me actually of the old Belgian Congo (Now renamed Zaire) except for the amount of time between the 'Emancipation' and the present. During the period between the end of WWII, and the Mercenary wars of the 60s, there was a gradual phasing out of European run businesses being highlighted by those wars I mentioned. In fact the first one in 1961 was only the second time the UN actually sent in troops; but they did it to force the breakaway Katanga province from seceding. This caused a lot of deaths when the UN then turned around and had the Congolese government tp promise no reprisals; a promse they brok immediately; But the present government sounds more like Uganda where it was almost a kleptocracy under Idi Amin.

Technical note; Since Coruscant is a city covering the whole planet, approach would not be called Coruscant Harbor, suggesting one small area. As an Example, flying in from Europe you would be passed through the varied Air Traffic Centers.

From what I can see, they are in for Interesting Times.

The Rise of Darth Revan
Nylastarfollower

Pre Mandalorian Wars: Yet another lecture

A well written vignette that sets up the idea that Revan was already having issues with the dark side-light side dichotomy even at fifteen. Her reaction is what I would honestly expect from any group of young Jedi because it seems anything and everything will lead you to the dark.

A Simple Translation
Thesummerstorms

Several Years post TSL: It isn't what you say, but how you say it

The piece is well written, and all the loose ends tied up. It is interesting that instead of merely repeating her own catch phrase, Visas tells him she loves him. I don't know if you meant the catch phrase to mean that, or whether she is lying. But still nicely done.

Pick of the Week

Filling in the Gaps
Fyrebrand

Ten years Post KOTOR: A well loved story from her 'aunt' Mission

The piece needs some editing and polishing, but that is no big thing.

Here we see Mission in her mid twenties, but still the same little girl inside when she tells the daughter of Carth and Revan about their adventures. However, it is a bit short and only two incidents are highlighted with any real clarity. However the recent memory was fun because it shows the little girl a little more of how their parents got together.


Chronicles From Mandalore: More than Blood
Daennika

Set in the era after Republic Commandos, follow on to Chronicles From Mandalore: What it Takes

Having read a portion of the first work, I was already impressed by this kid's work. The first chapter (All I had time for) has the first of the Imperial occupation of Taris, and since it is just a change of administration, is rather mild. But the scene is set for what I expect will be a lot of problems in the future.

I wish I could read it all.

Pick of the Week

The Secret of Silence
Vayluh Arwen

TSL on Dantooine: He's attracted by what she isn't

The piece is merely a scene on Dantooine, just the two of them, but Atton learns a lesson in simple interrogation she had learned before, how to use silence to draw responses. The one very interesting idea was that she was a slave, rescued by Revan on a trip to Nal Hutta, and that even in the order, she felt as much a slave to the Jedi as she had to the Hutt.

Learning a Thing or Two
Leonnie

KOTOR on Tatooine: Showing Mission a trick with her blaster leads to punishment

The piece is funny because as Carth pointed out, then demonstrated, spinning you weapon on your finger is a fine looking trick, but has no real application beyond looking cool, as most such tricks done with a pistol are. The aftermath almost made me spit up my tea; a neat circle of blasts in the starboard cargo bay, ending with one right through the nose of the swoop bike.

Mission trying to explain what had happened is as funny as watching a cat try to cover up their mess on a linoleum floor, and just as efficient. The punishment definitely fit the crime.

Best of the Week

The Reason Why She Fights
Naomi Blackstar

Post KOTOR on Lehon: Revan has a place where she must go, but refuses to take anyone with her

Remember conversation breaks. The piece had everyone speaking in the same paragraph, and while I was able to follow it, it was confusing.

Everything
Bardok92

TSL: How Nihilus sees everything else

I had caught the thread the author later mentions about the story the Mysterious Stranger by Twain. He sees the entire galaxy as something to snack upon, and in my own work Return from Exile, Colonel Tobin commented on it, wondering if Mon Cal taste fishy, that kind of thing.

We see the world through the eyes of someone who doesn't think anything around him is quite real. Very chilling.

Oh and about a third of the piece is the suggestions as to who should get a staring role from a romance for Mission to HK threatening to visit mayhem if you don't... I wonder if the author has read my own I Know What Love Is Sorta?

Atton and Exile Short Stories
Bria Tharen

TSL after Korriban: Atton is tortured by his own mind

If you have ever read the Legacy Series in the EU, the scene where Mical kisses the Exile is reminiscent to me of a scene where Jacen Solo (Who has the ability to time walk) takes Tahiri (A young Jedi who loved his late Brother Anakin) back to the young man's death. When she regrets not kissing him then, Tahiri pushes her younger self into that embrace.

Of course, with the ongoing rivalry between the two men for her affections, it didn't take much of a nudge, and having him then dream of the lives of those two as parents fit with that thought.

Kreia's explanation of why she had done it made perfect sense. Any emotional involvement would have been disruptive since the next mission leads to the battle with the Council, Nihilus and on to Malachor.

Very well done. I wish I had time to read all three chapters.

Pick of the Week


'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
Acceptance
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile
machievelli is offline   you may: quote & reply,