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Old 01-18-2014, 08:02 AM   #1378
machievelli
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Join Date: Jul 2005
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Kashyyyk Ghost
Lady Tragic

Five years after Order 66: Delta Squad returns to Kashyyyk hunting a ghost

This is by my count, the ninth of Lady Tragic's works I have reviewed, and I am never disappointed when I do. This piece starts where I think every special operations team does, with mental complaints about the new replacement.

Of course considering that except for that man these are clones, it's heightened. There is all of the friction you'd expect from a new operative being fitted in more by command orders than anything else. If it were merely a team, six missions would have fit him in well. But there is the fact he doesn't look like a brother, and the newer missions of course, heighten the irritation that now, as Fixer thinks, they are wearing the black hats.

I am always unsatisfied with her work... either I can't read it all, or it's not long enough!

Pick of the Week

A Few Home Truths
The Lost Minstrel

TSL After Nar Shaddaa: The Exile is sick and tired of the 'hero' everyone compares her to

The piece is a well portrayed view of the Exile's view of what had happened from Malachor on. I agreed and applauded her rant because she was right. While she was struggling to merely survive, Revan had gone from the enemy to hero while she had been roundly condemned and cast adrift.

Pick of the Week

Reversal of Roles
Cindrollic

TSL on Malachor: Having been duped into killing the Exile, Atton makes one last attempt at redemption

Remember to sight edit and correct words, then polishing. The piece had a lot of times where the wording left me wondering, such as saying he did something to no prevail, meaning avail instead.

The piece was a bit confusing, and part of it was the mind trick Kreia used to get him to kill his leader. His method of atoning was as his battle cry would say, pure pazaak.

Telosian Festival of Fear
Xenzen

Originally reviewed 20 October 2006. That review is below

During interim between KOTOR and TSL: Carth finds something else to fear...

The story flows smoothly, the subject matter, a woman trying to dive in with feet first into the culture of her husband, and the ending surprised me pleasantly. It is the highest rated story I have reviewed to date. 52 thumbs up, and 21 reviews by readers.

This story went well, and as I read it, I remembered an article I did in the expert forum of Lucasforums on how to convert a holiday of ours to the genre. The idea that the costumes have to reflect heroes rather than the fears is a unique twist to the Halloween motif (Black and Orange was obvious). Changing it so that the kids have to give the history of the costume is also a nice touch.

Excellent!

Reprise Pick of the Week and Best of the Week

Trance
Lena Breeze

Set in Rise of the Empire:

Remember conversation breaks. It is confusing for the readers when they have to go back over a conversation to see who said what.

Why did you have it be Kushbians, but have them on Korriban? What you have here is similar to several American Indians transplanted to say 17th century England. The Wikipedia link you added says they have limited technology, so such a move would have been at someone else's choice, and having the boy's father own the landing field suggests that it was not from slavery.

The piece is a nice slice of life for the two young kits; as the blurb goes, boy meets girl.

Guarded
Callalilli

Pre TSL: Atton finds the Force for the first time, and it terrifies him

I have to apologize to the author because I accidentally misspelled the handle, with only one 'L' the second time. So when I knew I had reviewed work before, I couldn't find it.

The idea that Atton had somehow ended up on Dantooine enroute to Nar Shaddaa is an intriguing concept, and having him realize he is feeling the Force there gives us an interesting look at the character, doing an ostrich imitation to avoid feeling what he now can.

I only read the first short chapter(Of 29), but just from that, I hungered for more.

Pick of the Week

Prove It
Val Perham

Post TSL on Manaan: The Exile demands that Atton prove his feelings for her

Remember to sight edit and correct errors. For example you had Atton ask 'why did' when you meant what did, and had her face turn as (red) as a Sith lightsaber. What I think is the problem is that your mind is running so quickly through the story you are writing that you sometimes forget to put the entire sentence down. Don't feel bad, I have been writing since I was fifteen (45 years) and I still do it on occasion as well.

The piece was fun because you have Atton spending pretty much every moment they are together trying to get into her pants, but never admits his feelings for her. Here she pretty much demands that he do so.

Star Wars: Spirits of the Old Republic
Snufulupugus

Set in the Post Yuuzhan Vong period: Luke Han and Leia head off into a different adventure

The piece had an interesting feel to it. The only negative I have is the Exile. Why is he or she still called that four thousand years later? It would be like Benedict Arnold being called the Traitor today, even though his crimes are long forgotten except to historians.

Knights of the Old Republic: Forged in Fire
LegacyOfThePhoenix

PreKOTOR: Introduction to the main character

Like my own version of this work, there is little time between when Revan is found and when the story begins. Having her be Mando'a is fun, and having her wonder which side she had been on in that war what you would expect from an amnesiac. One thing I love is a fellow Mando'a-phile.

Three chapters with a prologue, I found myself wanting to hit the button and keep reading.

Pick of the Week

Taking a Risk
Flooj9235

KOTOR on Manaan: Bastila is finally willing to say it

The piece was well done. Bastila fearing that Aeryn (Revan) is dead because of what she sees very well portrayed.

Pick of the Week

Another Sleepless Night
Nyghtraven

Starting two months post TSL: Revan departs to the Unknown Region, leaving Carth to fulfill a promise

The style is crisp and clean, laying the story out in a manner that makes you follow without effort.

The piece begins dark, shadows of her past making her more obsessed as time goes on. Yet ends with them reunited in a rather unique manner. Only one minor quibble.

Technical note Admiral Status: It is exceedingly rare for an admiral in any navy to ever directly command a single ship. Admirals command squadrons of larger combatants, be they ancient ships of the line, or heavy cruisers and battleships in more modern times. Captains command the actual warships of his command, and while in overall command, the admiral is a passenger.

The scene I loathed in the movie Down Periscope is when the Admiral seizes command of the submarine, because while he has the authority to do so, he doesn't have the right to do so. It does happen, but it is demeaning to the captain of that vessel when it occurs. Many captains through history have requested relief from duty even if it is a highly valued command because of it.

What If?
Nyghtraven

Pre KOTOR: What if the plan to capture Revan had failed?

The piece is well wrought, and the fight scenes well done. The conversion of Bastila is done off stage, but understandably so.

The only real negative is that Malak merely goes to face her knowing he is going to die, which to my mind is foolish.


'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
Acceptance
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile
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