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Old 01-26-2014, 09:12 AM   #1379
machievelli
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Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Las Vegas Nevada
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To Walk a Lonely Path
Nyghtraven

Post TSL in the Unknown Regions: Reunited, Revan and the Exile face a new battle

The piece was well written, the meeting a little bloody, though. I could see someone trying to stop her, so the carnage made sense. Their meeting is almost as if they had not been parted, and going into battle, they are content with that.

Whispers-in-the-Dark
Nyghtraven

Before the Battle of Malachor: Revan mentally prepares for battle

The piece is well done and portrayed. The idea that there is really no 'side' to be on, just the Force is one I explored in the last chapters of my own Genesis of a Jedi. That is why the ending line is 'There is no dark, there is no light, there is only the Force'

Nightmares
RinoaTifa

TSL aboard Ebon Hawk: Night terrors stalk the crew...

The piece starts as a lot of nightmares do, with something so depressingly normal, goes through a brief period of surrealism, then into terror. The end of chapter one had me a bit shocked, though considering how the Council treated her after her return, it should not have.

Eight chapters long, I did look forward to know that it isn't only her suffering this, and I wanted to read more.

Pick of the Week

Turbulent Depths
Tamuz

TOR enroute to Mon Calamari: We watch two Jedi sparring

The piece ended too abruptly to get either a sense of style, or of the characters. The commentary about their styles is good, since a smaller opponent, and most women, learn early to use their natural speed to run their opponents ragged, just as the stronger knows all he has to do is match them to win out in the end.

Nowhere to Run
Nyghtraven

In the Unknown Regions: Revan's struggle finally ends

The work is step by step brutalization of the hero. The only negative I felt was having her just be killed the way they did, especially after all of the work they expended on making her last days a living hell. It's almost as if someone had decided on an act of mercy at the last moment...

The Story of Bron Avery
Connor Lonske

KOTOR Aboard Endar Spire: The adventure begins

The style is confusing from start to finish. It is far too short to give it much chance to build on, and having it start much later then flashback didn't help. Having someone come up and expect him to perform like a dancing bear was a bit odd; I can't see most people treating one of the Jedi that way.

It is court martialed (Tried before a Military Court) not marshalled (Gathered together)

Technical note blast damage: While some separation would reduce the damage, that would be in a few meters. It is unlikely with a grenade explosion that a man less than a meter away would be totally unaffected if it was powerful enough to kill the first one. Note I said unlikely, not impossible.

Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic III
Bradwart

11 years post TSL: Desperate, Revan and the Exile call for help.

While well written, the piece was a bit confusing to me. To explain why, imagine this scene from the never made Raiders of the Lost Ark II set after Kingdom of the Crystal Skull:

Indiana Jones, his new wife and son return to the Tanis and the Well of Souls seeking clues as to where the stone tablets of the original Ten Commandments are...

Now think of what you did from the point of Jones above. While he didn't write anything down that we know of, people who get into Archeology are noted for the voluminous notes they make about anything and everything they see. Remember his father's 'Grail Diary' and how Jones was able to use his notes alone to work out where to look ahead of the Germans.

Almost all of the data they supposedly need is already in their hands, and the locations to look if they need more as well. But the primary reason for finding the Star Maps originally was to locate the Star Forge.

Technical note, two Star Forges: While the idea makes some sense, there are four different problems.

1; Capabilities. A prototype is usually something that still needs work to go into production. A lot of times, it is not as efficient as the completed production model. As an example, the P51 Mustang began life as a simple upgrade of the P40 series, and was under engined. But two things, her design (Especially changing out the radiator) and replacing the engine with the Rolls Royce Merlin made it the premier fighter of that War. However, we run into problem two-

2; Civil War. According to the basic storyline, the Rakatans were in the middle of a civil war. Building two Star Forges would give the rebels a target worth capturing; the new and improved model. Once it was in their hands, the war is fought on equal footing, since both now have the capabilities to produced everything they need for that effort.

3; No record of the second one. The characters had access to the Rakatan computers in the Elder's settlement and the temple, then during the attack, on the Star Forge itself. Why is it that neither they, nor the Sith they faced then, didn't make a record of the fact that there were two? If the Sith had discovered it first, the war fought before KOTOR would have gone on, the enemy would have still had all the capability of the original in the second one. If the Jedi had found it, they would have either occupied or destroyed the second one just to make sure it could not be used against them again.

4; Personnel. As much as the Clone Wars leaned heavily on using droids as combat troops and ship's crews, you have two different problems with this. One, they need to be maintained, and in combat operations you either repair them, or cannibalize them. So you would need either people in the loop, or another design that does nothing but repair damaged or malfunctioning units.

If you use people, you also need crews. If the Republic is stretched so badly, part of the reason might be personnel, though it could be enough ships. After WWII, the US mothballed something like half of the ships we used during the war because of budget cuts, so it is trained people more likely.

The perfect example is the Gulf War operations. The Saudis who were our allies could not have fought the Iraqis alone; their army in 1991 was less than three divisions, facing off against 11. In the first, the US had to ship thousands of troops into the region to begin operations, and the original Desert Shield (Air attacks inside Iraq) went for five weeks before Desert Storm (Land operations) began. That was due to having to ship in the men and vehicles necessary to fight.

Fest
Thesummerstorms

During the Clone Wars: A little comfort before the operation starts

One minor problem, you used waist instead of waste (as in not wasting time).

The piece rambles a bit, but the author did warn us of that at the start. It is merely a bit of interaction with people who care about each other on several levels. The biggest problem I saw was the same one we had during both Korea and Vietnam; High Command just deciding it's done and leaving, causing you to have to send in a unit yet again.

Lost Get Found
Angel of Melius Prime

Post TSL: Carth worries when Revan is missing after a bombing

The largest problem I saw was the attacker is merely a cardboard cut out. We know why he acted, and what he intends. But he is as faceless as the words 'suicide bomber'. We also don't know for sure how Revan survived, though we know the reason why.

Torment and Redemption
Bradwart

Post KOTOR III: Revan is still tormented by his past

The piece is dialogue driven, and rather good. The basic premise, that a warrior would back away from what he had done to succeed is well portrayed.

Star Wars Knights of the Ole Republik
Bradwart

KOTOR On Taris: A parody of the first segment of the game

The piece surprised me, and I found myself laughing out loud at some points. Calling the ship the Soon to Be Ended Spire was just the start of the zany action. Dennis (The main character) having a seizure from that hideous Orange Jacket(as did the Sith trying to take him captive), then Carth changing it for a pink one, acting like a jealous lover rather than a partner, and it just goes on and on.

Best of the Week

Patron Saints of Lost Causes
Silverwings16

Set in KOTOR on Yavin IV: A padawan must protect her charge alone

The only negative I have about the story is using Yavin IV yet again.

The piece is very well done, and I wished I could read beyond the first chapter

Pick of the Week


'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
Acceptance
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile
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