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Old 04-27-2002, 12:35 AM   #1
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Jem's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Ottawa, Canada.
Posts: 1,756
Exclamation Omnipresent Chaos, Battle For All.

The Story so far:

It all started politically with this speech from someone named Deac:

"If they made me ruler of the world it would only last 5 minutes because they'd put a new computer game outside my office and when I went to get it they'd lock me out and I would be able to rule the world anymore.
But now I know that plan,
Prepare to fire the Annhilatoron of Doom and Death and Destruction and general pain and suffering and unhappiness etc..!"

He Laughs maniacally, then has to take a throat sweet.
A speaking rabbit known as Zoom Rabbit Listens through Deac's speech, nothing registering, until he comes upon the words 'throat sweet' and laughs himself silly. Deac notices this and says to the rabbit:

"What is wrong with a throat sweet? They are the easy way of eating sweets in class!!"

He Turns to his minions:

"Target the rabbit... failure to respect the Annhilatoron etc... results in zapping"

The Rabbit then says:

"Throat sweets for everyone! Laced with heroin, for that extra stubborn cough... "

Now Deac is getting angry and impatient and starts screaming at his minions:

"Minion! Why has the annhilatoron not been fired?
What do you mean you can't find the throat sweet dissing rabbit? It's not hard!
Under my world rule, someone else has to get the new computer game from outside my world control office... but fear not....
Free Star Wars games at a high standard for all!!"

With a waffling British geezer voice the Rabbit goes on:

"I say...the throat sweets were delicious, the cats were lovely, and we all had a smashing good time, what?"

He then Runs far away. Deac asks himslef What is the rabbits problem with throat sweets anyway. he then fires the annhilatoron and misses the rabbit, but manages to destroy Saddam Hussain.

"Oh well." Deac sighs

Then out of nowhere someone yells:

"ah well, free oil!"

That's when Deac realizes something and says to himself:

"Wait! Why use my Annhilatoron for evil when I've just demonstated I can use it for good?!"

Once again, an unknown voice speaks and replies to Deac:

"cuz being a bad ass mofo is cool"

Anyways, Saddam cause war in the middle east, they with their suicide bombers will kill each other, US then can come in and take over. Then both Koreas nuke each other, and the US can take take that, too! Foreign policy is fun so there's more: then Spain actually listens to the 5/6 Gibraltans who say they still want to be part of Britain... and then in recognition of his successful melting of Saddam Hussain, it is given to Deac as a reward and renamed DeacLand. And then Deac is publically flogged with potatoes. But before that can happen, Deac uses the fine accuracy of the Annhiatoron to melt the terrorists. Then Cracken's Imperial Fleet hyperspaces in over the panet, and launches pinpoint air strikes from high orbit upon said uber weapon of mass destruction, then uses fighters and bombers to wipe out the rest of the air/ground defenses, and mops up the mess with a full scale ground assult. But righ then Cracken wakes up of his ridiculous daydream and realizes his fleet is being destroyed into shmitherins by the uber weapon of mass destruction. So he, Cracken, turns off the simulation, and procedes to the bridge to issue new order to the fleet, to Hyperspace in well beyond the reach pf the Uber weapon's range, and launch a mssive ground assult. But then a small rabbit materializes aboard the Uber Weapon, which is programmed with advanced AI, and talks it into cherishing its own existance as a sentient being. Uber Weapon decides not to destroy itself, then goes to the Epcot center and opens up as an animatronic ride for pasty-skinned tourists wearing shorts and mouse-ears. Deac is aware of what is going on and says:

"So, you think you can turn my annhilatoron into a feeble theme-park ride and just get away with it?"

Deac goes into the very bowels of his castle, and bonds with young sandworms... and becomes GOD EMPEROR OF DUN-I MEAN EARTH.
He then get's in a big robot suit and goes to Epcot to get back his annhilatoron.
Meanwhile, Lord Cracken receives a message from one of his generals:

comlink: "My lord, we have sighted the Deac being, permission to engage?"

Cracken: "Fire at will. Do not fail me General, for your sake"

Comlink: "Yes my lord!"

General Gohl targets Deac, who is headed stright for the Epcot Center and orders:

"ALL Imperial Assault troops target my target and fire at will!"

Imperial Walkers and heavy Artillary fire at deac, scoring several direct hits and nearly kills the poor bard. But suddenly, when Deac thought it was all lost and as he lies there in the desert he spots with his troubled doubled view what seems to be a desert trooper, NO! YES ! it's a FREMEN !!! and he seems to be tapping with some kind of weird hammer on the desert sand, then from nowhere this big SANDWORM pops out the spice melange. The fremen rides the beast, heading towards Deac's direction. The Sandworm stops by the dying one and the fremen extends his right arm towards Daec and says:

"Come with me if you want to live"

As the Fremen says this Harkonen patrols spot the lone warrior. They descend eager to take a new slave. Shooting a missle at the worm causing it shake off the fremen and Deac leaving them to the Harkonen troopers. The Sandworm being majorly pissed off for being shot at with a missile heads direclty for those responsable of his minor injuries. As the beast dashes towards the Harkonen patrol unit and their newly captured slaves the Harkonen start to panic and leave Deac and the mysterious Fremen without supervision so they can use their weapons and try and kill the worm before it eats them. Shaking his head, standing up, the Fremen observes the scene and realizes what has happen. He spot Deac and runs toward him.

"Damn, he is unconcious"

The Fremen drags Deac towards a Harkonen desert patrol buggy and takes advantage of the Harkonen's distraction to flee towards a hidden cave leading to abandonned underground sandworm tunnels.
the Fremen leaves the buggy and carries Deac to a safe place. To make sure everything's safe the Fremen activates a Psi-Emiter that his men have hidden in different parts of the desert, this Psi-Emiter imitates a hot female sandworm mating call to call upon the uber male sandworms so they can *clean* the area.
The Fremen does some healing on himself and Deac. He awaits Deac's awaikaning as he hears the vibrations on the walls caused by the excited worms who rush in the combat zone area...
Deac awakes and realises he has newfounded fremen friends he then says to himslef:

"No! Me and my aren't going to give up! "

He then speaks to the Fremen:

"Come, Fremen bretheren! Let us reclaim the Annhilatorn and zap the Harrkonens with it!"

The Fremen then says to Deac:

"Finally you have awaken. C'mon let us hurry, the uber male worms arn't gonna distract the harkonen anymore once they find out that their is no female worm....
I know this tunnels by heart, let's go this way, it leads to the Dark Jedi Harkonen base where your Annhilatorn has been transfered and kept. They will surely use it against us, we must stop them before it is too late."

But first the Fremen leads Deac to his secret refuge: an underground vault, Vault 13. They take some big mean sub laser machine bazooka guns, lots of ammo, Brother Hood of Steel heavy armor, of course the worm caller hammer, a couple of Psi-emiters a radio to call some backup or Vertibirds (cool helis stolen from the Enclave...) and The Fremen's vicious dog: Dogmeat.

"Let's head out!"

As they head towards the exit of the tunnel leading the the Harkonen main base they load there bad ass guns as the Fremen says:

"We're here to kick ass and chew bubble gum, Damn we're all out of gum"
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