Dead like a graveyard, eh? I guess the 800+ posts I have answering questions don't count for much. *sigh* Are you both running 1.03? or 1.02x? If it's 1.02x then I'd say you need to turn off dismemberment or someone is using an exploit to crash your server. If you are using 1.03, then I'd be surprised since I've had hardly a lick of trouble with it.
If you want help, it's useful to be polite. I'm prone to helping anyway, but I thought I'd mention it anyway.
"Do you expect me to talk?"
"No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to DIE."