06-29-2001, 02:28 AM
The smallest good deed is better than the greatest intention.
A watched clock never boils.
The only cure for insomnia is to get more sleep.
May you live as long as you want - and never want as long as you live.
The person who knows how to laugh at himself will never cease to be amused.
I know it hurts. Maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle without a seat, but it hurts
I can bend minds with my spoon.
If Train A leave San Francisco at 8:30am EST travelling 25mph and Train B leaves Chicago at 1:30pm MST travelling at 40mph, and they're 3000 miles apart when they start, what is the capitol of Bulgaria?
How's he gonna read that magazine rolled up like that? What the ... - a fly.
But then John said to himself, 'Frank, your name isn't Louis!'
How mad would a wood chuck get if a big neon pink Koala bear named Ishtar ran into the woods and chucked all the wood before the woodchuck could?
A ship carrying blue paint collided with a ship carrying red paint. The crew are believed to be marooned
What has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree would kill you? A pool table.
What's brown, furry, and makes a funny noise when you sit on it? A wookie cushion.
In The Beginning there was nothing, which exploded.
Three things are certain: Death, taxes, and lost data. Guess which has occurred...
I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.
Black holes suck.
I like angles, but only to a degree.
Hey! It compiles! Ship it!
Real programmers don't document. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand
"If the Start Windows Restart when Windows starts check box is checked Windows Restart will start automatically every time Windows is started." - Actual excerpt from a windows program help file!
Gravity isn't MY fault--I voted for velcro!
Yoda of Borg are we: Futile is resistance. Assimilate you, we will.
- Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
- Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
- Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
- Who is General Failure, and why is he reading my disk?
- If a tree falls in the forest, and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?
A simple idea will be worded in the most complicated way
A sin is two sins when it is defended
All extremists should be taken out and shot
All that glitters has a high refractive index
All things are possible. Except skiing through a revolving door
Appreciate me now - and avoid the rush
Bald spot? No - solar panel for brain power
[ June 28, 2001: Message edited by: Boba Rhett ]