Well I'm afraid you're unstuck then mate. Other than forking out for a great connection so that you can play on the zone, there's not much you can do but wait, and continue to search for other Hawaiians. I remember when I used to play JK1... I would sometimes go for three-four days without finding a quality game to play with someone. I kept trying because I enjoyed it, and as a result I built up a knowledge of where to go to play, whom to play and when to search for a game.
Effort will be rewarded. Coming on here and complaining does no good for anyone.
I think the mere fact that we have these shouting matches to begin with is the reason a majority of gamers dropped.
Nope. You say that most of your nearby gamers are playing CS. Have you ever played CS? It's the most insulting, bitter and unpleasant experience. People troll, laugh and cuss newbies, scream obscenities at each other over voice comms, cheat, accuse innocents of cheating and burn kittens in bonfires. Okay, maybe not that last one. Well they may do, I don't know.
But the point remains. CS is the most popular game in the world... and the community has the most adversarial atmosphere of almost any game.
Slanging matches and divisions don't frighten people away. The reason people are leaving: The whiners caused 1.03 to be created, which made a lot of serious gamers leave. 1.04 has caused a lot of whiners to leave. So a lot of people have left. And more people have left, because they can't find a game because a lot of people left! QED. But give it sayyy... three months, there'll be more going on. This sort of thing is not unheard of.
So have patience. Or there are other games to be getting on with.