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Old 06-05-2008, 11:23 PM   #1
Rabish Bini
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Dream or Reality?

Hello, and welcome to my first fic in quite a while. It is obviously entitled Dream or Reality?. I don't know how many chapters it will be, but I hope you enjoy it, and please, post comments and any constructive criticism will be greatly appreciated. Enjoy
----------Dream or Reality?----------
Chapter 1: The Beginning

Hallucinations
Where dream and reality blend into one...


Revan awoke to find himself in a force cage.
“Where am I?” asked the weary Revan.
“Maybe if I retrace my steps. I was hunting down a bounty hunter, along with...” a sudden moment of realisation spurred with in him. “Bastila.” He looked around the room. The room was as bland as possible, brown walls, probably made out of clay, it seemed, old.
“Hmm.” Revan turned to find a black figure, standing next to a table. “Searching, for her?” the table lifted to show Revan a beaten and bruised Bastila, strapped in to the side of the table. She was pale, a shade of white which didn’t seem humanly possible.
“Your little accomplice here will perish, if you don’t tell me who you are.” He stepped into the sunlight.
“You, you’re the pathetic bounty hunter I was sent to capture, I’d recognise your scum anywhere.” Revan taunted him.
“I wouldn’t talk like that, if I were in your position.” He unsheathed a vibrosword, one unlike any other Revan had ever seen before. It was a crystal-silver colour, with a handle as blue as the depths of Manaan.
“You’d have to be a moron not to know who I am.”
“Wrong answer.” said the bounty hunter, stabbing the sword into Bastila’s left bicep.
“AHHH!!” the shriek was deafening, Revan’s feelings grew more intense, as did his powers.
“Now, tell me who you are.”
“I’m,” Revan started, struggling through the pain of feeling Bastila’s suffering. “I’m Revan.”
“Revan?” the bounty hunter spat on the ground. “You’re not as untouchable as I have been lead to believe. Why are you after me? It’s obvious you can’t compare to me.” Revan snickered.
“You will get what you deserve, mercenary scum.” He took great disrespect to that, stabbing Bastila through right bicep. “Your girlfriend here won’t have an arm at this rate.” The pain was intense, like been dipped in the fires of Mustafaar. Revan had enough, the world went black, then, a sudden gush of white as he releases the true power of the Force. The Force cage has been busted open, he looked around to check on Bastila, he had shielded her well enough to not be hurt, the Bounty Hunter though, he was a bloody mess on the floor, his crumpled body bleeding profusely. Revan unstrapped Bastila. “Can you walk?” He asked. “I think so.” Bastila’s voice was faint, like the soft sounds of the breeze in the Dantooine plains. “We have to get out of here. Follow me.” They escaped through a hole in the wall.
“They’ve escaped.” screamed one of the Mercs, “After them!!” They pulled out there blasters and followed. “The Ebon Hawk is in the hangar to the south of the complex, if we can make it, we’ll be safe.” Revan sounded worried, something rarely seen in Revan’s courageous demeanour. They had to rely on their wits, their lightsabers taken from them, and lost on the previous planet they visited, Revan could barely remember anything from before he awoke. FWOOSH. Blaster fire screamed past the ears. “DUCK!!” Revan screamed. They slid behind some boxes of supplies. “Revan, look.” Bastila handed him a blaster. “Don’t miss.” Revan smiled, “I rarely ever do.” Revan protruded his torso from behind the boxes and started shooting. The Rodian copped one right in the temple, while the two Trandoshans got it through the heart and eye respectively. “Told ya I wouldn’t miss.” They sprinted towards the hangar door. “There it is!” Revan pointed to the Ebon Hawk, which was in near perfect condition. They blasted the door open with explosives they found in the supplies boxes, only to find a Dark Jedi and a handful of Bounty Hunters.
“You’re not Indestructible Revan, and right here and now, I will prove it.” His lightsaber shone a blood-red, as evil looking as Malak before his timely demise. He swung, narrowly missing Revan’s neck.
“Bastila, head to the ship, I will be there shortly.” She ran towards the Ebon Hawk, the Bounty Hunters in pursuit.
“Now Revan, it’s just you and me.” Revan shot at him, but his weak blaster was no match for a Dark Jedi’s lightsaber, relying on his wits and the Force alone, he took on the Dark Jedi. Revan leaped over his head and pushed him into the wall, he then leaped towards him and, going against the Jedi’s teachings, choked him before frying him with a jolt of lightning and flinging him into the wall across the room.
“Not indestructible? I beg to differ.” Revan headed towards the Ebon Hawk, where Bastila was in trouble.
“Revan HELP!!” The shriek was as loud as the sounds of the dead in the ancient tombs of Korriban. The Bounty Hunters had her cornered in the Hangar, “I’m coming!” Revan shocked them all with the power of the Force, which he wields in the palm of his hands. He knocked them out cold. “Revan, there’s still more somewhere in the ship.” Bastila was shocked from the events that had happened in such a short space of time. “I’ll find them.” Revan carefully tiptoed around the ship. He found, nothing. The ship was empty. He walked back to the hangar, where Bastila was still waiting. He gave her a hug and said, “Bastila, there’s no-one else.”
“Then, who am I?” Revan turned to see an Iridonian. “As quickly as he saw him, was as quickly as there was a thud. He looked down, a vibrosword had pierced his stomach. The pain felt numb, more like a wound from wlaking into a wall, rather than a vibrosword to the stomach. He pulled it out. He felt nothing more than a stinging sensation, until, he turned to realise Bastila was crumpled on the ground. Revan grew pale, he collapsed onto his knees
"If I wasn't so close to her it wouldnt've pierced both of us, this is all my fault I should've protected her, why her, why couldn't I be the one who got most of the blade? The pain had started to kick in, “Maybe this is all a hallucination, a dream, maybe it was all hallucinated.” He let out a surge of the Force, but the Iridonian escaped. He just stayed there, next to Bastila, crying. “Maybe it’s just a Hallucination.”

-------------------------
Hope you enjoyed, and stay tuned for the next chapter.


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Old 06-21-2008, 04:52 PM   #2
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Hmm, Revan is not really indestructable.

It wasn't a bad chapter. I would advise one thing though, when a new character starts talking, always start a new paragraph.

Example:
"Revan HELP!!” The shriek was as loud as the sounds of the dead in the ancient tombs of Korriban. The Bounty Hunters had her cornered in the Hangar.

“I’m coming!” Revan shocked them all with the power of the Force, which he wields in the palm of his hands. He knocked them out cold.

“Revan, there’s still more somewhere in the ship.” Bastila was shocked from the events that had happened in such a short space of time.

“I’ll find them.” Revan carefully tiptoed around the ship. He found, nothing. The ship was empty. He walked back to the hangar, where Bastila was still waiting. “Bastila, there’s no-one else.”



I saw that you did this a few times throughout the chapter, but you should always so that. Good work though, I like the description that you put into it. Keep up the good work, and I look forward to seeing the next chapter.

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Old 06-21-2008, 11:06 PM   #3
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Originally Posted by Rev7 View Post
Hmm, Revan is not really indestructable.

It wasn't a bad chapter. I would advise one thing though, when a new character starts talking, always start a new paragraph.

Example:
"Revan HELP!!” The shriek was as loud as the sounds of the dead in the ancient tombs of Korriban. The Bounty Hunters had her cornered in the Hangar.

“I’m coming!” Revan shocked them all with the power of the Force, which he wields in the palm of his hands. He knocked them out cold.

“Revan, there’s still more somewhere in the ship.” Bastila was shocked from the events that had happened in such a short space of time.

“I’ll find them.” Revan carefully tiptoed around the ship. He found, nothing. The ship was empty. He walked back to the hangar, where Bastila was still waiting. “Bastila, there’s no-one else.”



I saw that you did this a few times throughout the chapter, but you should always so that. Good work though, I like the description that you put into it. Keep up the good work, and I look forward to seeing the next chapter.
Yeah, I always do that in my first chapter, just a habit of mine, but my folowing chapters I nebver seem to do that.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Arcesious View Post
Hmm... Good start... However I've read to many 'Revan fanfics' that nothing seems original anymore, even when it is original... despite that criticism due to my considering the KOTOR saga as boring because I've played it through to many times, it's a good story...
What I have in mind is original to KotOR fics, but I got inspiration from another TV show, you might recognise a bit of it when you see it.


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Old 06-21-2008, 05:05 PM   #4
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Hmm... Good start... However I've read to many 'Revan fanfics' that nothing seems original anymore, even when it is original... despite that criticism due to my considering the KOTOR saga as boring because I've played it through to many times, it's a good story...


Please feed the trolls. XD
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Old 06-21-2008, 11:20 PM   #5
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^^^
Okay then. Just wanted to make sure that you knew. I'm sure that you did because I am pretty sure that you have made other fics...anyways, keep writing.

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Old 06-22-2008, 04:28 AM   #6
Rabish Bini
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^Yeah, and don't expect new chapters to come out quickly, at least, not until I finish this semester of school.


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Old 06-22-2008, 04:17 PM   #7
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Don't worry about it. Take your time with it.

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Old 07-09-2008, 01:50 AM   #8
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Well, here it is, the next chapter of my new fic. Enjoy and please comment

-------------------------
Chapter 2 - Pain and Sorrow

It’s not the dream, or the goal that counts, it’s what you do, what you suffer through and sacrifice to get there, that counts...

“It’s not looking good Revan, her condition is critical.” The nurse’s voice felt distant, he could only think about Bastila, and what had happened, how he could’ve saved her, how he should’ve saved her. He looked through the mirror at Bastila's unmoving body, she seemed almost dead.
“It’s not your fault Revan, you did the best you could’ve, no need to be so harsh on yourself” It wasn’t helping, he could only believe it was his fault.
“If only I had’ve searched the ship more, I could’ve found him, I could’ve saved her.” Tears ran down Revan’s face, he grew pale, he leaned over and sobbed away...

The Ebon Hawk felt eerily calm and quiet, no-one said a word since they learned of what happened to Bastila.
“They’ll pay for what they did to her.” Revan broke the silence, “Carth, we’re going to Nar Shaddaa.”
“Why? Might I ask.” Carth’s voice was curious.
“Where else would a spineless slug hide?” Revan, for the first time since beein brainwashed, sounded sadistic, almost evil, as he thought about revenge on the Bounty Hunter.

The trip was very quiet, Revan stayed in the hangar and didn’t say a word, HK-47 and T3-M4 just stood in the main room, chatting quietly, while Canderous spent all his time repairing and upgrading his weapons.
“Revan, we’re here, where do we search first?” Carth asked.
“We visit an old friend...” They left the Ebon Hawk and walked towards the Refugee Sector, receiving blank stares from the locals, and cowardly stares from the ones who fought in the war and survived, only to become refugees trapped on Nar Shaddaa.
The Refugee Sector was crowded, more so than ever before. The makeshift rooms were filled, and some unlucky refugees had to sleep on the gorund outside, with nothing to protect them from the cold or the wet. It was an unpleasant sight, as the stench of death hung around them.
They made their way to the room of an Iridonian.
“Revan, who is this Iridonian we’re searching for?” That was the first thing Canderous said in a while.
“Ghazur Falaffal, you could call him a psychic of sorts.” They entered his room, where a horrible smell immediately filled their lungs, like the smell of Shyrack faeces on a hot Korriban day.
“Ghazur, I need your help.” Revan was stern, without a hint of compassion in his voice.
“Last time I helped you I ended up being tortured, what makes this time any different?” He asked.
“This time, I’ll be the one doing torturing, and you won’t come out of it alive if you don’t help me out.” Revan’s voice was growing increasingly sadistic as time rolled on, showing shades of his old self before he got redeemed.
“Okay, what do you want Revan.”
“I’m searching for an Iridonian Bounty Hunter.”
“Okay Revan, ‘cos there’s really only one Iridonian Bounty hunter isn’t there?”
Don’t get smart with me, Bastila’s life’s at stake.” Revan grabbed him by the throat and flung him into the wall.
“Okay, I know who you’re searching for, he’s not here though.”
“Where is he?!” Revan was getting impatient.
“Somewhere in the depths of Kashyyyk.”
“If I find out you’re lying, I’ll personally see to it that you don’t live to your birthday.” Revan dropped him and walked off, back to the Ebon Hawk.
“What the hell was that Revan?” Carth asked.
“What was what?”
“You were sadistic in there, almost evil, what’s gotten into you, you can’t take your anger out on innocent people.” Carth was furious at what he just witnessed.
“If you knew him like I knew him, you’d know that he isn’t as innocent as he seems...”
No-one else said a word until they reached Kashyyyk.

“Welcome back to Kashyyyk, Revan.” Said the familiar Ithorian from Czerka corp. “What brings you back to Kashyyyk?” He said, in his native Ithorian tongue.
“We’re looking for an Iridonian Bounty Hunter who is apparently hiding out in the depths of Kashyyyk.” The Ithorians eyes immediately lit up.
“Ah yes, I saw him, he said he’d be hanging out with Jolee, you might want to go talk to him.”
“Thank you, I’ll do just that.”
“Um, Revan.”
“What is it Canderous?”
“Why didn’t we bring the droids with us, they could be a big help, especially that assassin one.”
“Because I don’t want anything to happen to them, besides, we don’t need them.”
They ventured through the overgrown walkway, exchanging pleasantries with the locals until they reached the elevator, still guarded by that Wookie he first met when he came here.
“Hey, we need to go to the depths of Kashyyyk and find an Iridonian Bounty Hunter.”
“RRROOOOOAAAARRRR!!”
“What did he say Revan?” Carth asked.
“He told us to wait for the elevator to come up.” Revan replied.
They didn’t have to wait long though as the elevator made its way up soon after, with a familiar sight in it.
“Zalbaar! Long time no see, how have you been as the new Chieftain?” Revan asked.
“Grrooar, grooooo raaah.”
“What was that Revan?” Carth asked once again.
“He said bad as an Iridonian has been scaring away his friends and the like, probably the Bounty Hunter we’re searching for. Excuse me Zalbaar, we’re actually searching for this Iridonian, wanna help us search?” Zalbaar nodded and followed them down to the depths of Kashyyyk.
“Groooo rraa roow.”
“So it’s Mission he’s been hunting? Well she’s in luck, ‘cos we’re coming.”

The trip to the bottom was a long and uneventful one, and it remained uneventful until they arrived at Jolee Bindo’s hut.
“Hey Revan! How have you been? Been teaching the newbies a few tricks or too?” Jolee was pleased to see him.
“No time to chat Jolee, we’re searching for an Iridonian Bounty Hunter, I got told you might be able to tell me where he is.” Revan was impatient with the old man.
“Ah yes, he travelled towards the large clearing where they give sacrifices by hanging those spider things, why do you want to know?” Jolee was curious.
“He may have potentially killed Bastila.” The air immediately grew colder, and an eerie silence surrounded the place.
“Go get him then, tiger, I’ll wait here.”
They made their way to the sacrifice spot to see the Iridonian meditating in front of the stone tablet.
“We meet again, Revan.” His voice was cold, and he spoke fluently in Galactic Basic.
“You have no idea of the pain you have caused me, of the trauma I have suffered every day since that fateful event, of everything I’ve suffered through to reach my new goal, the death of you, by my hands!” Revan was but a shadow of his former, compassionate self, he was like a monster, covered in blood and death, longing for blood of another sentient being.
“We shall see.” There was a loud stomping, like a minor earthquake, they turned to see a Terentatek.
“So, the Great Hunt failed again.” Canderous said.
They turned to face the Iridonian again, only to see a Blood Red Lightsaber in his cold, scaly hands.
“You’re a... you’re a Dark Jedi?” Revan was puzzled.
“Yes, I am a Dark Jedi, but I’m not only a Dark Jedi, I am a famous Dark Jedi, famous for the death of you! The great Revan, the all mighty saviour of the Republic. And with the power of the Dark Side with me, I will easily thwart your pathetic Light Side powers, for I have a beast inside me, as does everyone, but I can unleash it at will, and not worry about falling.” A smirk grew across Revan’s face.
“I do not dare deny, the basic beast inside, It’s right here, It’s controlling my mind. I too can use it at will.” Revan ignited his blue lightsaber and attacked.
“And so it begins, ATTACK TERENTATEK!” The Terentatek attacked Revan’s friends as Revan battled the Iridonian. He lunged at his heart but he blocked and parried, and went to trip him off his feet. Revan dodged and pushed him into the stone tablet he used for meditating.
“YOU CANNOT STOP ME!!” the Iridonian screamed as he unleashed a bolt of lightning at Revan, stopping him dead in his tracks. Revan withstood the power of the lightning and fought through the pain. He leaped at him and delivered a kick to the solar plexus. Knocking him onto the ground.
“This is for Bastila.” Just before he could deliver the killing blow the Terentatek picked him up in his powerful claws.
“Let go of me you foolish beast!” Fire burned in his eyes as he was getting ready to annihilate it. The Terentatek tightened his grip on Revan, attempting to crush him into oblivion.
“Your choice.” Revan unleashed a surge of the Force knocking the beast over, he proceeded to decapitate him and burn him into a pile of ash with lightning.
“Oh Revan.” He turned to see the Iridonian standing next to Mission, who was hung upside down by he feet.
“Surrender your will to me or she gets it.” He taunted.
“Pfft, I couldn’t care less about her.” Everyone was shocked at Revan and how he’s been acting lately, and what he just said.
“Don’t worry, it’s a trick I’m playing.” Revan whispered to them, although he sounded sarcastic.
“Let her go, I promise I won’t hurt you.” Revan was trying to persuade him with his mastery of the Force.
“Oka... Oka.... Okay...” he cut Mission down and dropped her at Revan’s feet. “You don’t think I’m THAT stupid, do you?” He kicked Revan in the knee and pushed him into a trap he set, hanging Revan by the throat.
“Anyone else tries to play a trick like that and that’s what’ll happen.” They were stunned at how easily Revan was fooled. He started to turn blue as the circulation cut off to his head.
“And now...” there was a pause until he fell on the ground, lightsaber in his back.
“Nobody messes with my friends.” It was Jolee, who came just in time to save the day. He cut Revan down from his noose.
“Are you alright Revan?” He asked.
“I could’ve died had you come any later.” Revan was stern, the evil inside almost seemed to be consuming him. “C’mon, this jobs done, lets head back to Coruscant. You comin’ Jolee?”
Jolee nodded and followed them back to the Ebon Hawk.

The night was spent sleeping in the main chamber of the Ebon Hawk. Everyone that is, except for Revan, who spent the night in the hanger, talking to himself, and acting all paranoid, like someone or something was out to get him. He felt alon, and in pain, and there was nothing he could do to weaken it, to make it go away. A pain was gnawing away at him, guilt, for how he didn’t do anything quick enough to save Bastila. He was alone in the dark room of the hangar, and he was alone in his heart and soul.
"Could this be, just a dream?..."

-------------------------
Hope you enjoyed it


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Old 07-09-2008, 02:01 AM   #9
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I'm a little confused. I don't remember anything happening to Bastila in the chapter before this one...I am a little lost.

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Old 07-09-2008, 02:07 AM   #10
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I'm a little confused. I don't remember anything happening to Bastila in the chapter before this one...I am a little lost.
Read the last paragraph of the first chapter


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Old 07-09-2008, 02:15 AM   #11
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Quote:
“Then, who am I?” Revan turned to see an Iridonian. “As quickly as he saw him, was as quickly as there was a thud. He looked down, a vibrosword had pierced his stomach. The pain felt numb, more like a wound from wlaking into a wall, rather than a vibrosword to the stomach. He pulled it out. He felt nothing more than a stinging sensation, until, he turned to realise Bastila was crumpled on the ground. Revan grew pale, he collapsed onto his knees, the pain had started to kick in, “Maybe this is all a hallucination, a dream, maybe it was all hallucinated.” He let out a surge of the Force, wiping out the Bounty Hunters. He just stayed there, next to Bastila, crying. “Maybe it’s just a Hallucination.”
I am still confused. I thought that Revan was the one the injured.

Oh, I think that I might get it now, though I am still slightly confused. :/

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Old 07-09-2008, 02:23 AM   #12
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Oh sh*t I see what I did, I made a mistake, just let me edit the last paragraph again, I accidently left out something sorry.

Try reading the last paragraph again after I've edited.

EDIT: There we go, read it now.


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Old 07-09-2008, 03:43 PM   #13
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Thanks.

Did the Iridorian take Bastila with him, though?


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Old 07-10-2008, 12:46 AM   #14
Rabish Bini
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Thanks.

Did the Iridorian talk Bastila with him, though?
Did he talk Bastila with him? I think you might've made a msitake in that sentence...


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Old 07-10-2008, 01:11 AM   #15
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Your right. I meant take. Sorry! :/

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Old 07-10-2008, 01:17 AM   #16
Rabish Bini
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No, it says at the start of Chap 2
"He looked through the mirror at Bastila's unmoving body"
Implying that she's in a hospital of sorts.


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Old 07-10-2008, 01:38 AM   #17
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Oh, sorry. I guess that I am just tired. Yardwork today.

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Old 07-10-2008, 08:39 AM   #18
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Nice start you've got here Bini! I admit, I was confused a little as well, but I've re-read it and it's made more sense now
Looking forward to some more action!

Btw, love the Avi, haha. (The album is practically done!!!!!!!!!)

"Ahem!" ... Anyways ... Great work!

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Old 07-10-2008, 10:35 PM   #19
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Nice start you've got here Bini! I admit, I was confused a little as well, but I've re-read it and it's made more sense now
Looking forward to some more action!

Btw, love the Avi, haha. (The album is practically done!!!!!!!!!)

"Ahem!" ... Anyways ... Great work!
Thanks I'm glad you liked it, and yeh it is a bit confusing, oh well.


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Old 07-24-2008, 08:05 AM   #20
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Welcome one and all to the third chapter of my long running series, enjoy and comment.

------------------------------
Chapter 3 - The Hurt he Feels

“Everything’s so blurry, and everyone’s so fake. Everybody’s empty and everything is so messed up. I am lost without you, I cannot live at all, my whole world surrounds you, I stumble then I crawl.” Revan’s thoughts were interrupted by Carth Onasi, Admiral of the Republic Fleet.
“I’m so sorry for your loss Revan. She was a wonderful woman, so full of hope and always smiling, tragically cut short.” A calm breeze swept around the Dantooine plains, as they stood atop a cliff, facing away from the recently rebuilt Jedi Enclave.
“I wonder what you’re doing, imagine where you are, there’s Heavens in between us, but that’s not very far.” Revan didn’t say a word, just thinking the thoughts, yet nothing came out.
“You have my sympathy Revan, and I know you need time to yourself, I mourn for those who never knew her. Their lives would’ve been better had they.” Carth walked back to the Enclave, leaving Revan to his thoughts, he wept silently as he went through the events that had occurred.

“Get a doctor, she’s having spasms!!” The nurse screamed, as a doctor came as quickly as he could have, with Revan close behind.
“Doctor, her spasms, they stopped.” The life support system was just a dim buzz; everyone was frozen solid, afraid of what could’ve possibly just transpired. The doctor checked her pulse.
“Revan, I’m, so sorry. Her hallucinations got too strong to contain, and erupted, giving her spasms, there’s nothing you could’ve done, I’m sorry.” Revan stood there, without saying a word, as tears streamed down his face, he knelt beside her, holding her cold hands tightly, and asked for everyone to leave them alone together.
“There was something I could’ve done...”


“It’s just another turning point, a fork stuck in the road.” Revan kept thinking to himself, trying to get himself to move forward in his life. But he couldn’t do it.
“Make the best of this test, don’t ask why, it’s not a question but a lesson learned in time.” Revan turned to see Kavar, still recovering from his near fatal experience with Kreia over 7 years ago.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Revan asked in a voie which almost sounded like he was mocking the Jedi Council Member.
“Don’t worry about moving forward yet, you will see in time that the only way to go in life is forward, don’t try to deny your feelings and say that you’re moving on with your life, let time do that for you.”
“Since when were you an expert on love, you were one of those who wanted to have me and Bastila removed as Jedi Knights.”
“I once knew love,” Kavar started, in a soft manner of speaking, which Revan has never heard before. “Her name was,” Kavar paused, “Something you need not know now, the point I’m trying to make is that I, too, have experienced something like you are experiencing now, and to not turn your back on my advice, but to embrace it. Good luck, my friend, remember what I told you, don’t deny your true feelings for her.” Kavar walked off, as Revan collapsed to his knees and started crying heavily, something which Revan had never done before. “I’m tired of living like a blind man, I’m sick of sight without a sense of feeling, you may be gone, but I said I loved you and I swear I still do.”

“I never dreamed that you’d be mine, but here we are tonight. Imagine what the world could be, if they learned to love like you and me. But they stay entrapped in their enclaves, not knowing what they’re missing out on. I love you Bastila...”
“We need to rush her to the emergency ward, stat!!”
“Revan, I’m sorry.”


Revan woke up from his dream, to find his bed wet, and him sweating like it was a 70 degree day on Tatooine. The dream had changed, from good to bad, and from bad to worse.
Revan took out a hologram projector and started recording a message.

I love you, and have loved you all along, I miss you, we’ve been far away for far too long. I keep dreaming you’ll be with me and you’d never go.

His tears softened his words, and showed his true feelings. He always felt more at peace after recording a personal message, and he slowly drifted back to sleep.

“Revan, I hate to ask this of you, but, could you possibly reschedule the funeral?” Kavar asked. Revan’s face grew pale, and he gave Kavar a menacing glare, one which cut through Kavar like he was a piece of tall grass caught in the way of a Kath Hound.
‘It’s just that, we have a lot of knights and padawans going on an exhibition to Coruscant, and it’s impossible to reschedule it.”
“Revan nodded slowly, “Five days from now, is that enough time for you to indulge yourself while I suffer?”
“Revan, I didn’t mean it that way, five days is enough, but, please, I said for you to show your true feelings, but don’t take your anger out on people who respect you, you won’t win many friend that way.” Kavar went to notify everyone of the funeral change.
“Kreia must’ve done some immense damage to his brain; the funeral was anyway going to be five days from now.” Revan smirked, and walked to the pond where he and Bastila used to spend their leisure time together.
He picked up a pebble and skipped it across the pond. 1, 2, 3 bounces. And old pastime or Revan’s whenever he was feeling alone, down or isolated.
“If only I hadn’t sent her into the ship alone, or even had I checked the ship properly, she would be with me, and I would be with her” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a beautiful ring, topped with the largest Quixoni crystal he could find that would fit on it. “We would’ve been one.” He clenched the ring tightly, kissed it as a sign of respect and dropped it back into his pocket. It was growing dark, without a single cloud in the sky. The stars shone brightly, just like the sparkle in Bastila’s eyes every time he smiled. He lied down under small palm tree, staring at the bright moons of Dantooine.
“Every little thing reminds me of Bastila.” He spent a couple hours there, just laying down, thinking to himself, and eventually he fell asleep. Until Juhani found him.
“Revan, I just got back from the rebuilding Cathar, and have only recently heard of your loss, I am so sorry.” But before he could reply, Kavar yelled out urgently that they join him in the meeting room. They sprinted as quickly as they could, where Kavar and Zez-Kai Ell were standing.
“Revan,” Zez-Kai Ell spoke, “We need to ask a favour of you, I know it is at such short notice, but we need you to stop a civil war on Tatooine, we would go but as you can plainly see we are still recovering, and all our knights and padawans are out on the exhibition Kavar told you about before.”
“Very well, only because I have such respect for your opinions that it was the council’s fault the whole Mandalorian, Malak and True Sith Wars happened, it was that honesty which kept you alive, what is this skirmish about?”
“I’ll fill in that one,” Kavar said, “It appears that Czerka corp. Has finally driven the Tuskens into pure insanity, and they’ve waged civil war, the catch is, that a Dark Jedi was the instigator of all this, and we need you to stop him. He is bald and has a small goatee, similar to Bandon you encountered on your previous journeys.”
“I will do this for you, but only if Juhani can come with me. Kavar and Zez-Kai Ell both nodded, and Revan and Juhani wlaked to their already prepared ship.

------------------------------
As you may have noticed, my chapters include a LOT of references to some of my favourite songs, especially this one, see if you can pick out all of 'em.


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Old 07-27-2008, 07:53 PM   #21
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Well, I think that you have rushed the end just a tad. I think that more information would have been a little bit more useful such as why Revan wanted Juhani to go with him. Juhani just arrived on to Dantooine, and she only got off a sentance before being called by Zez-Kai-Ell and Kavar.

I do like how Revan has been thinking about Bastila though. He is almost reminicing. The descriptions are very nice. I almost feel sorry for Revan's loss. This is really actually the first time that he would have had something affect him like the way Bastila's death has. Very interesting. I just hope thar Revan keeps his cool. Good chapter though. Keep up the good work. Oh, and do you mind maybe erm...keeping the size of the text normal. It is a little bit hard to read. Same thing with the font. Just makes it a little easier to read. As for the songs you are refering to, I have no idea what they are or what they might be. :/

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Old 07-28-2008, 04:12 AM   #22
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Well, I think that you have rushed the end just a tad. I think that more information would have been a little bit more useful such as why Revan wanted Juhani to go with him. Juhani just arrived on to Dantooine, and she only got off a sentance before being called by Zez-Kai-Ell and Kavar.

I do like how Revan has been thinking about Bastila though. He is almost reminicing. The descriptions are very nice. I almost feel sorry for Revan's loss. This is really actually the first time that he would have had something affect him like the way Bastila's death has. Very interesting. I just hope thar Revan keeps his cool. Good chapter though. Keep up the good work. Oh, and do you mind maybe erm...keeping the size of the text normal. It is a little bit hard to read. Same thing with the font. Just makes it a little easier to read. As for the songs you are refering to, I have no idea what they are or what they might be. :/
Hmm, I did rush it a bit, but I just wanted to get this chapter done and out of the way. And yeah, I'll keep the font normal, I noticed it hurt the eyes a bit too. Glad you liked it.


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Old 07-31-2008, 07:43 AM   #23
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Nice addition Bini.
It goes into Revan's mind and what he's feeling with this terrible loss. A nice insight into a troubled and hurt mind.

As for references ... I did spot lines for "Time of your Life" - Green Day. "How you Remind Me" "If Everyone Cared" and "Far Away" .. all by Nickelback.
The first line, I am convinced it's from a song, and I know the words, and melody, but the title and artist have both eluded me.

But from what I've seen, you have some great taste in music my friend. Great taste indeed!

Looking o next chapter. I want to see how Revan handles this campaign on Tatooine.

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Old 07-31-2008, 07:46 AM   #24
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Thanks Mr_BFA, glad you liked it, the first line was actually Blurry by Puddle of Mudd.


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Old 08-01-2008, 08:05 AM   #25
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Welcome to yet another chapter, I was a bit tired when I wrote the bulk of this, so please point out any mistakes I have made. Thanks

------------------------------
Chapter 4 - The Dark Jedi...

Somebody get me through this nightmare, I can’t control myself.
The trip to Tatooine was a long and uneventful one, Revan and Juhani spent the entire trip in silence, Revan still feeling the scars of his loss. Revan, had gotten very little sleep, and dozed off into a deep slumber...

“Revan, you’re hallucinating, it’s all a dream, wake up and see for yourself, your pain is fake, but more real than you could ever imagine. Open your eyes, see the world, see the truth, see what you’ve been longing to see, only to see it slip through your hands, as your world darkens around you, as you feel the true pain of what is really the end.”

“Revan,” It was only Juhani, “We’re here.” They stepped out of their relatively cramped shjip, and stretched their legs and back as they were greeted by a friendly Ithorian
“What, do you Ithorians own Spaceports or something?” Revan asked, realizing they are always greeted by an Ithorian.
“I’m going to assume that’s a joke and carry on, the planet is in Civil War, and is a very dangerous place right now, I suggest you stay within the city walls, and not wander into the desert, where then war is raging. And I also need the sum of one hundred credits.” They handed over the credits and walked into the city itself. It was a wreck, people running around yelling something about “the end”. It then hit him, “As you feel the true pain of what is really the end.” He remembered back to his dream, and noted that line in particular.
“It could just be a hallucination...” Revan thought to himself. They walked past an old lady claiming she has foreseen the end and that we should all seek refuge.
“Revan, these guys are nuts, we should get our task over and done with as quickly as possible.” Revan nodded, and they headed to the Czerka corp. Head office.
“Hello there, and welcome to Czerka corp.” The desk attended said. She had long brown hair, and the most beautiful eyes.
Revan faded out for a second, reminded about Bastila so much by this lady, he slipped slightly and held on to the desk.
“Revan, are you okay?” Juhani asked.
“Yeah, I’m fine.” He replied, “We need information on this Civil War, and how we could help.”
“I see that you’re a Jedi, judging from the lightsaber, how would you like to collect a bounty? This Dark Jedi, is the problem here, and we want him stopped, so we can have peace.”
“How much do we get paid?” Revan asked.
“Let’s say, 50,000 credits.” Revan’s eyes lit up, and he hastily agreed to the deal.
“Pleasure doing business with one as capable as yourself, you’ll probably find him in the old Sandpeople enclave which he is using as his lair, as soon as you exit the city, head left and just keep walking, you can’t miss it. It’s heavily guarded, so be careful. And don’t forget, there’s a war going on, good luck.” Revan gave her a nod and they walked out.
“Well Juhani, let’s go kick some sandpeople butt.” Revan smirked.
“This task is just what you need Revan.” They walked towards the gate which was guarded by a Czerka employee.
“You’re the one who Jana said was going to collect that bounty, right? Go right on through.” The gate opened, they walked through only to see burning ships in the distance, as the loud sounds of explosions and blaster fire echoed throughout the planet.
“Come on Juhani, she said left, so let’s go.” They walked off into the distance, as the heat drove them to the point of dehydration, all they could do was move on, into the sun, one of three.

The walk seemed like an eternity. They finally reached the lair which was covered in dust and looked almost as old as the Jedi themselves.
“Looks like it’s time to end this madness Juhani.” They ignited their lightsabers and cut a hole in the front gate.
“INTRUDER ALERT! INTRUDER ALERT! SHOOT TO KILL!!” the voice of Guardian droids echoed throughout the hall, although they were silenced before they could fire off a single bullet. But that was far from the end. Droids came from the back and sides of the long corridor, although they proved little competition for the Jedi, who didn’t even break a sweat.
“C’mon Juhani, this way.” They ran to the door, which led to a large hall, with three Dark Jedi standing in the centre.
Revan had another vision, this time of the Star Forge, and how he saved Bastila, the pain was intense, he couldn’t take his mind off of it, and he eventually saw a recreation of it in front of him, thinking he truly was on the Star Forge again. He tried to shake off the hallucination and acted as normal as possible.
“Welcome Revan, we’ve been expecting you,” the Dark Jedi’s voice echoed in the large, practically empty hall. It was lined with gold, and statues of ancient beings, who the Sandpeople no doubt worshipped.
“Let’s get this over and done with Revan, as quick as possible.” Juhani whispered to Revan. He nodded, and fried all three with a single bolt of lightning. They fell to the floor, lifeless.
“Fast enough?” they shared a laugh and continued to the next room. They once again encountered a large, seemingly never-ending wave of droids, this time accompanied by a group of Dark Jedi.
“We might have to break a sweat this time around.” Revan said, as they charged into battle. Revan wasted no time in destroying the first wave of droids. While Juhani attacked the Dark Jedi. Revan joined her, and finished off three of the Dark Jedi, although more came barging through the side entrances, as droids spawned alongside some ancient computers. These ones however, were harder to defeat, had more firepower and more resistant armour. The Dark Jedi attacked as Revan parried their attacks, while Juhani struck them from behind. They were no problem, but they couldn’t say the same about the droids. They destroyed many of them as quickly as possible, but they kept coming, tougher and tougher each time.
“Revan, the computers.” Juhani pointed to the computers which the droids came out of, and Revan had another realisation.

See the things around you, awaken your mind, they aren’t a factor in the real world and you can stop them, just believe. You’ve gone through this before, Malak, the droids, Dark Jedi, you’ve done it all, now do it again. It doesn’t change the outcome.

Revan faded in and out of consciousness as he had another hallucination. He did what he remembered from the Star Forge, and shut down the computers. The remaining droids were a breeze. They continued to a final room to find a group of Dark Jedi worshipping something. They turned around, and the Dark Jedi he was told started all of this stepped in front.
“Welcome Revan,” his voice was evil and sadistic, “Isn’t it perfect, pretty much an exact recreation of the Star Forge, I know of everything you’ve gone through, and I know how to stop you. Now, I must be leaving you, I have a war to make more bloody, and a tribe to make more bloodthirsty.” He escaped through a back entrance as he ordered the 3 remaining Dark Jedi to attack. They quickly froze Juhani in a stasis field and attacked Revan. He parried the first ones attack as another went for his feet, he jumped over it and went to decapitate him. He missed and fell backwards, almost to the ground, which would’ve meant certain death. He quickly recovered and stabbed the first Dark Jedi through the heart.
“One down, two to go.” Revan thought to himself. His thoughts were interrupted by a swift swipe which cut his left bicep. He stumbled, but regained his footing.
“My good robe, you’ll pay for that.” Revan ran at them although he was constantly being pushed into a corner. He leapt over them and decapitated one of them to bring to a one-on-one.
“Looks like your time is up.” Revan taunted, as the Dark Jedi ran at him, he lost his footing as he was stunned by the aggressiveness of him, and he took advantage of that. He knocked Revan to the ground, and put his saber at Revan’s neck.
“No Revan, your time is up.” He lifted his saber, and swung down sharply, it surely would’ve won the battle for him, had Revan not remembered, “It doesn’t change the outcome...” He stopped the blade mid way through the lunge with the Force.
“You picked the wrong legendary Jedi to mess with.” Revan stole his saber off of him, although he needn’t have done it, as he fell to the ground, Juhani standing behind him.
“Idiot, he should’ve know that stasis field wouldn’t hold me forever.” She smirked, “So Revan, where do we head now.”
“Sandpeople enclave, I have a war to stop, and a bounty to collect...”

It doesn’t change the outcome...
------------------------------
HJope you enjoyed it, don't forget to comment.


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Old 08-01-2008, 05:56 PM   #26
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Well, I think that you might have rushed a little bit with this chapter too. My advice to you is to maybe slow down a little bit, and before submitting a new chapter, read through it to check for errors and add any detail that you want. That really helps me when I write anything. Just some advice though....

Other than that, I think that you did a good job on this chapter. I do have a question though. Where exactly where Revan and Juhani fighting? Another Sand People Enclave? I don't know if I missed anything...Good chapter though, and keep on writing!

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Old 08-02-2008, 05:31 AM   #27
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Hmm, come to think of it, I did forget to read through it thoroughly, ah well, I'll just take more care with my next chap

And it did state that they went to the Dark Jedi's lair which is an abandoned sand people enclave.


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Old 08-02-2008, 06:56 PM   #28
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Oh okay. I looked through it and I guess that I missed it. Sorry. I figured that it must have been an abandoned Enclave of some sorts.

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Old 08-08-2008, 08:19 AM   #29
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Fairly rushed, IMO.
It was a good chap, but so much happened in so little text...

Looking forward to next chap, Bini!

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Old 08-08-2008, 08:20 AM   #30
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Yeah, well, the next chap will be better


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Old 08-08-2008, 08:29 AM   #31
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Can't wait for it.

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Old 08-09-2008, 08:28 AM   #32
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Well, it's my fifth chapter, and since I was on a roll, I completed most of the sixth, so you won't have to wait too long. Enjoy
------------------------------
Chapter 5 - Attack on the City

If you have nothing to lose, than you have nothing to fear...

Revan and Juhani made their way through the desert, using the map Revan got during his search for the Star Maps. It was eerily calm for a planet in the middle of a war, although the war was closer to the city walls, still, they encountered no forms of life, besides the odd bantha, until they got to the enclave...

There were lifeless bodies of Sandpeople everywhere along the outside of the enclave, with a few dead bantha. The auto-turrets were inactive and the front entrance was jammed.
“Revan,” Juhani said, “What has happened here?”
“There’s only one thing which could’ve happened, the Dark Jedi.” Revan ignited his lightsaber and carved a hole in the door. As soon as they entered the foul stench of death hung in the air, multiplied by the heat and enclosed rooms of the enclave.
“Smells like two-hundred year old bantha poo-doo.” Revan said, with his robe covering his nose. They made their way around the enclave, a task made much harder with the inactive doors and dead bodies blocking their path.
“This, this is horrible Revan, how could anyone be this heartless?” Juhani was scared, and Revan could sense it, but he kept it to himself, as they carried on through familiar surroundings. The walls were growing mouldy, a dark black mould covering much of the walls, spreading like a cancer. And it did nothing to help the smell. Juhani fell to her knees.
“Revan, I think I’m going to be sick.” Juhani said.
“Just a little longer Juhani, hold on!” Revan said, holding her hand and trying to get her back to her feet. As soon as she stood up, she threw up, which only made the smell worse.
“I’m sorry Revan.” Juhani said.
“Don’t worry about it, there was nothing you could do about it. Come on, let’s keep going.” Revan helped her to her feet, and they continued.

Soon enough, they reached the main chamber, at the back of the enclave. The Dark Jedi had his back to them, and he lifted up a dead body. Revan recognised it immediately, the Sandpeople leader, he had murdered him.
“Welcome Revan...” his voice was cold and heartless, like the depths of Manaan, “...to the site of your death.”
“Not by a long shot.” Revan and Juhani went into their combat stance, lightsabers ignited, but the Dark Jedi smirked.
“ATTACK!!” he yelled, as Sith appeared from their camouflaged state and attacked. Revan however, being the legendary Jedi he was, sensed them coming, and avoided their attacks, he weaved masterfully under their attacks, picking them off one by one. They were no Dark Jedi, just a group of soldiers, as Revan obliterated them all.
“Is that all you got?” Revan asked. He turned to face the Dark Jedi only to see him holding Juhani in the air, with his hand firmly around her neck, and his lightsaber pointed towards her heart.
“No Revan, I have much more.” He laughed psychotically as he threatened to kill her, but instead stopped short of her heart. Juhani was crying out of fear now, and after a few moments, she passed out.
“Actually, I’d prefer to see her suffer first.” He swung his saber back, but Revan’s reflexes proved more powerful as he dived forward and blocked his strike.
“You have no idea what you’re getting yourself into Revan!” He screamed, as they locked blades, “I’m more powerful than you could ever imagine!” he swung again, but once again, Revan’s reflexes proved more useful.
“We shall see.” Revan said as he rolled out of the way and swept at his feet. The Dark Jedi leapt backwards, towards the front of the room.
“I’d love to stay and play Revan, but I have business to take care of. Boys, ATTACK!” Another group un-camouflaged themselves, this time they were Dark Jedi.
Another group appeared behind them, but the Dark Jedi stopped them.
“You guys are coming with me, let’s start a riot, within the city walls.” He once again smirked and they were off, leaving Revan to face the Dark Jedi alone. This time there was five of them, but Revan didn’t care, he needed the exercise.
Revan smirked slightly and lunged at the first one who ran at him, he dodged it, but the Dark Jedi behind him had to take the consequences, being stabbed straight through the heart. Revan rolled underneath the other Dark Jedi’s saber, and sliced him straight down the middle of his body. He parried the third ones attack, and pushed him into a wall with the Force, before frying him with a zap of lightning. His anger was growing intense at how he failed to stop the main Dark Jedi, and he delved into ancient Sith techniques. He jumped to the chair of the enclave leader, and use a forbidden Sith technique, sucking the Force itself out of the remaining enemies, to make his own powers more powerful.
“You won’t get away from me so easily next time.” Revan whispered to himself, as Juhani regained consciousness.
“Revan?” her voice was weak, and sounded as soft as a crying kath hound pup.
“Where am I?” she had short term memory loss.
“You’re at the sand people enclave, and were attacked by a Dark Jedi, remember?” Revan asked.
“Oh yeah, it’s starting to come back now.” Revan helped her to her feet, for the third time in a short space of time.
“Come on Juhani, we have to go back to the city, something terrible is going to happen, very shortly. Are you well enough to travel?” Juhani nodded, and they made their way back through the enclave, now being used to the stench, they quickly exited and ran back to the city, seeing explosions in the distance.
“The war must’ve been re-ignited, bad news for us.” Revan said, they kept running until the city entrance was in site when, all of a sudden, there was a loud explosion from the inside of the city, which knocked Revan and Juhani off their feet, as debris crashed around them.
“That couldn’t be good.” Juhani whispered to Revan. They lifted themselves back to their feet and continued on to the city.
The doors didn’t open, and Revan assumed the door opener was dead, so once again he cut a hole in the door. They stepped through to face people running around crying and screaming, and a large fire off in the distance, they ran towards the smoke to find the Czerka corp. Head office blown up with the remains on fire.
“So much for collecting that bounty.” Revan thought to himself.
“Revan, what do we do now?” Juhani asked. Revan stood there, pondering the situation for a few moments, his thoughts interrupted by another explosion, this time the hunters guild, quickly followed by the destruction of the cantina.
“Juhani, take the ship and fly it to a safe place so our only exit off this rock isn’t blown up, I’ll take care of this myself.”
“But Revan.” Juhani protested.
“GO! You’re in no condition to fight, run.” Juhani nodded, and she ran off towards the Spaceport.
“Looks like it’s just you and me you spineless bastard.” Revan thought, heading off in the direction of the destroyed cantina, it wasn’t as easy as it seemed, with Revan having to deal with disillusioned locals and debris from the destroyed buildings. Unlike the Czerka corp. Offices and the hunting guild, the cantina still remained intact, obviously because of less powerful permacrete detonators. Revan sensed that this was a trap, but continued on to the cantina, remaining faithful to the task Kavar and Zez-Kai Ell had given him.

The cantina was closed off, and a large crowd had gathered in front of it. He looked around the crowd and spotted a dark figure just outside the crowd. He walked towards him, and, as the sun shone in his face, he recognised him, it was the Dark Jedi, and he was counting down.
“3, 2, 1, go...” The Droid part store exploded, with a more deafening sound than the others, Revan looked back to the Dark Jedi, but he was gone.
“Son of a...” Revan ran towards the recently destroyed store, but was cut off by one of the Dark Jedi accompanying the one he was after.
“Nice day for a walk, isn’t it?” He ignited his lightsaber and attacked. Revan tried to dodge, but he underestimated him, expecting him to be as weak as the ones he faced before. He was proven wrong, his left bicep was cut fairly deeply, but before Revan could react there was already another attack coming his way, Revan dodged, this time succeeding, and had a swipe at him which was blocked easily. Revan was caught off-guard, and was tripped to his back. He managed to fight his way back to his feet, but only just. Revan was sweating a lot, and was bleeding profusely from his left bicep.
“The next Dark Jedi are more powerful than me, but I doubt you’ll ever get a chance to witness that. You’re not as tough as they say you are Revan.” He lunged at Revan, but this time it was him doing the underestimating, with Revan sidestepping his attack with ease and stabbing him straight through the chest.
“Looks like you’ve been cut from you’re team.” Revan continued towards the store, little did he know he was being watched from the rooftops, by the Dark Jedi leader himself. He jumped down from his hiding spot and landed right behind Revan. He grabbed him around the neck, and started whispering into his ear.
“Hello again,” He said. “In precisely half a minute, the sandpeople will be barging straight through that door, and everyone will assume it was them, and this city shall tear itself apart, enjoy.” He laughed and leapt away, back to the rooftops. Revan tried to follow where he headed, but wasn’t quick enough.
Ten seconds...
Revan had to think up quick his next plan of attack.
Five seconds...
Time ticked by slowly, and Revan failed to think up anything.
Four, three, two...
“Ah stuff it, I’ll take it as it comes.” he thought.
One...
They were right on time, the sandpeople attacked, the war had just escalated, and Revan was caught in the middle of all of it...
------------------------------
Next chapter out soon.


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Old 08-10-2008, 08:05 AM   #33
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Well, I told you you wouldn't have to wait very long
------------------------------
Chapter 6 - End of the line

War is inevitable, but you can make a difference, if you try...

The sandpeople quickly set fire to the part of the city, as the inhabitants got ready for battle, people ran towards them with their blaster rifles and vibroswords, and part of the Tatooine army quickly came to help them out. The war had really begun, and only Revan could put an end to it.

“That Dark Jedi, I kill him, and maybe it will end this madness.” Revan moved out of the way of the Sandpeople, and ran into an alleyway. No-one saw him, except another Dark Jedi.

“You beat one, but you’ll never beat me.” He told Revan.

“I highly doubt that.” Revan said in reply. He flipped towards him but ended up face first in the dirt, as his attack was sidestepped, and then he was pushed to the ground. Revan felt the air grow cold around him, any blow now would prove to be fatal. Revan rolled onto his back and flicked dirt into his attacker’s eyes, a dirty tactic, but a necessary one, if he was going to survive. Revan leapt to his feet and decapitated his enemy.

“I thought the first guy said that the next person will be more powerful?” Revan shrugged, and walked through the alleyway. He could hear the sounds of blaster fire and grenade explosions, he tried to let it not get to him, but it brought back memories of his attack on the Star Forge. His head started to hurt, as the memories flooded back, first of the war, and then of Bastila, he collapsed to his knees as he thought about her smile, and how he’d never see it again.
He got back to his feet, and continued through the alleyway, and through the pain, until he reached a dead end, where he jumped over the wall, and fell into a ditch, he followed the long, winding ditch into a forgotten part of the city, the slums. It was a cold, barren place, full of homeless people. The place was overgrowing with vines, the buildings rotten and falling apart, it was a cesspool. The perfect place for a Sith to hide in. Revan continued throughout the slums. There was a dark energy there, and it grew stronger the deeper Revan went. It was evil, like Malachor. Revan’s head stung again as memories of that fateful day on Malachor flooded back to his head. The Academy, had he not have found it, the galaxy would be under Sith rule right now. But it was the dark energies that hurt him inside, he was reliving past events again, on a different planet, ending a war, in n evil place, it was hard for him, but he continued on, following the direction of the dark energy, growing more and more intense as he moved further into the slums, and the pain he felt growing more intense too...
Revan eventually reached the centre of the slums, a giant pyramid-like stairway. Revan sprinted to the top of the pyramid, only to see that there’s nothing there, just a large, flat space. There was something that caught his eyes however. Someone meditating in the middle.

“Do you want some spare change?” Revan asked, assuming it was another homeless person.

“No Revan, I want your blood!” he screamed, and at that instant, Revan knew it was the last of the Dark Jedi who have been attacking him. He stood up, and ignited his blood red lightsaber, a notrast to Revan’s cyan-blue lightsaber. He turned to face Revan. He was obviously not a man, but of a race Revan had never seen before. He had horns like a Trandoshan, dark-blue skin like a Twi’lek, and had a giant scar from just above his right eye, down to his chin.

“What the hell are you?” Revan asked in disbelief.

“I am the dark in which all light dies.” He pushed Revan with the Force to edge of the pyramid, “And I am the dark in which you die!” Revan got to his feet and ran towards him, only for him to sidestep Revan’s attack and for Revan to end up at the other side of the pyramid, hanging off the edge.

“You cannot defeat me Revan, there will be no need for my master to waste his time with the likes of you.” Revan once again scrambled to his feet, and tried his hand at the Force. He tried to fry him with lightning, but he simply absorbed it, and threw it back at Revan, and for the third time, Revan found himself face down in the ground.
“I fail to see how the others did not defeat you.” Revan was growing anger, and the Dark Side stirred within him. He could feel his strength increasing with every blow he took.

“Come on.” Revan mocked him, “Hit me again.” The Dark Jedi again knocked him off his feet. It was growing inside. Revan smirked. “You have no idea what you have just gotten yourself into.” Revan unleashed a wave of the Force and for the first time he knocked over the Dark Jedi.

“Finally Revan, you show something of whatever it was that made you legendary in the first place.” He stood up, “But I’m just getting warmed up.” He lunged at Revan with Revan parrying, locking blades, the red and blue of the two sabers igniting sparks which flew in each other’s eyes. Revan elbowed him in the stomach and flung him to the other side. But he remained upright. Revan’s eyes grew a dark red, as the power inside of him grew darker, it consumed him. He drew on this power and tried to drain the Dark Jedi’s life, but he was immune to it. Revan needed more power.

“That’s it Revan, use it to your advantage, even if it will do you know good in the real world.” Revan hesitated.

“Real world?” Revan thought to himself, but it didn’t matter, he focused his energy into trying to increase his power, he threw himself towards the Dark Jedi, with his attack being blocked, and countered by a swipe to his feet, Revan jumped over the swipe and parried an attack at his neck, throwing in a few jabs with his free arm whenever he could.

“Can you feel it Revan? It grows inside you, and I know whatever I do, it will bring about my end quicker, but it doesn’t matter, you were always going to win. But there is something I forgot to tell you, this was all a diversion, from the real goal.” Revan looked confused.

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“It was never about starting a war, it was about destroying a key planet, Dantooine.” He laughed manically, and Revan looked on worried.

“Before I go,” Revan said, “Feel the power of the Dark Side, when wielded by a legendary Jedi.” He drained him of the Force, and sprinted back to civilisation.
“If what he said was true, then that means everyone’s in trouble.” Revan thought, “Even the funeral...”
The main part of the city was finally not under attack, with the Sandpeople being forced to retreat due to the Tatooine army’s involvement. Revan ran to the spaceport, where Juhani was waiting for him.

“Hello there Revan,” she said, “What did you do since I moved the ship?”

“No time,” take me to the ship and take it back to Dantooine, I’ll explain on the way.” Frantically, Juhani and Revan ran to the Ebon Hawk, which was out in the desert, away from the ravages of the war. They entered the ship, and set a course for Dantooine, to save the planet, and Bastila’s funeral.

They exited the Ebon Hawk, with Juhani now enlightened as to what has happened. At the Dantooine spaceport, which is conveniently right next to the rebuilt Jedi enclave. They were greeted by Kavar, who had heard of their return.

“Thank the Force you’re back Revan.” His voice and eyes were full of despair, and fear, the two things Revan’s never seen in Kavar. “The old Sandral and Matale estates have been blown up, and no-one has found out anything about who the perpetrator is.” Revan stood there thinking for a while.

“There’s still two days until Bastila’s funeral, and I have no plans on cancelling, we have to find out who did it. And I think I know who it.” Kavar leaned forward eagerly. “The Dark Jedi you sent me to Tatooine to stop, he escaped, I’ll fill you in on the details in the meeting room.” They walked to the meeting room, where Revan explained it for a second time to Kavar, Zez-Kai Ell, and anyone else who was standing in the meeting room at that time.

“We have to put the inhabited part of the planet in lockdown, so we can put an end to this threat.” Revan said, and everyone else agreed, and they spent a couple of hours figuring out how they were going to do it...

“None of this is real Revan, wake up and see the truth, about Bastila, about you, about everything you see around you. Is it dream? Or is it reality?”

Revan woke up in the morning sweating like a Kath Hound on a spit, it was one day until the funeral, hopefully they get their man, so they don’t cancel.
Revan got out of his bed, got changed and walked to the meeting room, where Zez-Kai Ell was waiting for him.

“Revan, a couple of our scouts have reported strong, dark energies a little further north of the destroyed Matale estate, and we believe this to be the place where the Dark Jedi is hiding. Now the energies there were strong, so strong in fact, that you are the only one powerful enough to stop him.”

“I planned on going myself, to put an end to this menace once and for all, I shall leave immediately.” Zez-Kai Ell shook hands, and Revan left, heading towards the Matale estate.
Along the way, Revan passed the Sandral estate, which was now just half a building, with the top being just charred remains, and debris still burning around it. He continued on to the Matale estate, which was just a little further down.
The Matale estate, if it can be called an estate anymore, was just burning rocks on the ground, with most of the building in giant chunks up to 100 metres away.

“What an eyesore.” Revan thought to himself. He continued in a northerly direction, with the dark side energies growing stronger. Once again, pain and memories flooded back, but this time he was prepared, and kept his mind focused on the task at hand. There’ll be enough time for reminiscing at tomorrow’s funeral.
Revan finally reached the small hut where the dark side energies flowed from, he went inside to find a body lying lifelessly in the middle. He walked over to the body, and he recognised it as the Dark Jedi he was searching for, albeit still breathing, probably just sleeping. Revan ignited his lightsaber and stabbed him through the heart, ending his long task, the funeral now safe.

“You can finally rest in peace Bastila.” Revan thought, and he walked back to the enclave, taking his time. “I’ll miss you.” He spent the walk back reminiscing, of what could’ve been, of what would’ve been, of what should’ve been. Tears rolled down his face, for the first time in a while...
------------------------------
Hope you enjoyed it, expect the story to go back to being more melancholic, much like the third chapter.


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Old 08-10-2008, 08:22 AM   #34
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I'm confused.
Is Revan Dark-sided, or Light-sided? I'm not sure if you've mentioned his alignment before now, though.

Anyways ... It was a good chapter. I liked the occasional cliche slang lines that popped up here and there. It made the story all the more enjoyable to read in my opinion.

Nice work, Bini. Keep it going.

EDIT: Didn't see the six chap, lol.
"I am the dark in which all light dies," ... this ... sounds ... oddly, eerily and undeniably familiar to me. I am not sure where I have heard it from, but I know I have, somewhere ...

Is this the end of the story?

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Old 08-11-2008, 12:07 AM   #35
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EDIT: Didn't see the six chap, lol.
"I am the dark in which all light dies," ... this ... sounds ... oddly, eerily and undeniably familiar to me. I am not sure where I have heard it from, but I know I have, somewhere ...
Indeed. That sounds oddly familiar to me as well.

Other than that, those were some solid chapters.

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Old 08-11-2008, 03:42 AM   #36
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Originally Posted by Mr_BFA View Post
I'm confused.
Is Revan Dark-sided, or Light-sided? I'm not sure if you've mentioned his alignment before now, though.

Anyways ... It was a good chapter. I liked the occasional cliche slang lines that popped up here and there. It made the story all the more enjoyable to read in my opinion.

Nice work, Bini. Keep it going.

EDIT: Didn't see the six chap, lol.
"I am the dark in which all light dies," ... this ... sounds ... oddly, eerily and undeniably familiar to me. I am not sure where I have heard it from, but I know I have, somewhere ...

Is this the end of the story?
Revan's lightsided, but it'
s supposed to be showing how he's not really the "perfect Jedi" and stuff.
Glad you liked it.
And no, it's not the end of the stroy, there'll still probably be a fair few chapters to go.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev7 View Post
Indeed. That sounds oddly familiar to me as well.

Other than that, those were some solid chapters.
Thank you.
And that line sounds very familiar to me to, I've heard it somewhere before, but can't put my finger on it, I just decided to use it cos it sounds cool


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Old 08-29-2008, 01:40 AM   #37
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Thank you.
And that line sounds very familiar to me to, I've heard it somewhere before, but can't put my finger on it, I just decided to use it cos it sounds cool
Your welcome. I know that Visas uses that line but doesn't Ajunta Pall use the same line as well?

Oh, and get better soon!

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Old 08-11-2008, 05:50 AM   #38
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It's starting to really annoy me, lol. I have the voice in my head of who says it. But can't put a face to the sound, nor a movie or book, or wherever I have heard it.

Damn you brain for failing me. Damn you!

EDIT: I'VE GOT IT!!!!!!! I KNOW WHY IT IS SO DAMN FAMILIAR!!!!

*Ahem* Sorry 'bout that. I was excited

I'm not sure if its where you both heard it from but why it's so familiar to me is because Visas says it to Darth Nihilus in the Introduction of their characters.
When she is on the bridge and she goes to ask if he thinks the Exile is a threat, he then force chokes her and she says something along the lines of: "You ... are the darkness in which all life dies, milord."

I knew it was a female's voice. It was like on the very edge of my hearing but I just couldn't grab it!


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Old 08-29-2008, 12:46 AM   #39
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Sorry I haven't posted any new chaps, but I've had glandular fever and couldn't be bothered, hopefully a new chap will be up in the next couple of days


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Old 08-29-2008, 02:10 AM   #40
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Glandular fever sucks the big one. It's not good.
Hope ya get better soon and more chapters come rolling out of that imagination of yours!


Not sure about Ajunta. I'll go for another hunt to try and find out, haha.

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