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Old 10-06-2011, 05:55 PM   #1
JebusJM
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The Chronicles of Jebord Esio & Belcameron Cook (rewritten)

After I finished Episode Four of this story, I realised that I hate most of it. I wanted to start from scratch, so I've started for Episode One and will continue writing onwards through to Episode Six. Now without further ado, please enjoy the first part (unfinished) of the first episode.

Quote:
STAR WARS:

THE CHRONICLES OF JEBORD ESIO & BELCAMERON COOK

EPISODE ONE: THE BEGINNING

“Feel the Force flowing through you. Let it guide you. Let it consume you. Let it destroy you” a dark figure said.

His entire body including his face was hidden beneath a long black robe. The room was filled with thick black willowing smoke. The walls couldn’t be seen. It felt unreal. Yet it felt real. Jebord was standing still, stiff out of fear. He wanted to run, but his legs wouldn’t respond. The Jedi started panicking, his mind not working at full capacity. Something was wrong.

“There is no escape from your destiny, Jebord Esio” the figure spoke again. “Submit yourself to the dark side completely”.

Jebord tried to open his mouth, but his entire body was betraying him in his moment of need. Who was this dark figure? His voice sounded rough and deep. What was going on? Suddenly, the mysterious man started to glide towards him. Jebord couldn’t move, he had never been so scared in his entire life. The man was closing in on him. Jebord knew that if he reached him, something bad was going to happen.

“Jebord” a voice said out of nowhere. “Jebord”.


Jebord jumped up startled. His mind was still in the dark room.

“Jebord” the voice said yet again”.

After a few moments, Jebord’s mind came back to him. He was sitting on his bed in his dormitory. The room was dark, it was still night. He looked around and after his eyes adjusted to the darkness, he saw his oldest friend Belcameron Cook standing over him. Belcameron was tall for his age; his hair was brown and was always neatly combed. He was in good shape for a twenty year old. Jebord was a year older than Belcameron with jet black hair, which was always messy.

“My friend, are you okay?” Belcameron asked.

Jebord took a few seconds to respond. “Yeah, I just had a bad dream is all”.

“Bad? You were thrashing around; you almost broke some of your limbs”.

“It’s nothing. What are you doing in here anyway?” Jebord asked his friend as he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes.

"Hudson just woke me from my bed and told me to go get you" Belcameron respond. "The Jedi Council has called an emergency meeting".

"What's going on?" Jebord asked feeling a little hurt that his own Master didn’t come to him to deliver the message.

"I don't know, but something big is going down".

Jebord didn't respond as he became lost in thought of what could possibly be happening. He got up from his bed and went into the small bathroom and washed his face under the basin. When he was done, he dried his face on a towel and then proceeded out of the door with Belcameron in tow. As they walked down the corridor side by side, they both suggested ideas as to what the emergency could be.

"Maybe the Sith are launching another attack".

"A Jedi might be in need of help".

The corridor was lit by dim white lights on both walls; the wallpaper that lined the walls was a dull red. When they reached the end of the corridor, it opened up in a large circular room with chairs lining the back of it, forming a semi-circle. This was the Jedi Council room. None of the Jedi Masters were sitting in their personal seats; they were all standing in a group discussing something very serious.

Jebord saw his Jedi Master, Harrak Hudson, in the midst of the other Masters. All the other Padawans were also standing beside their Masters; Belcameron was right, something serious really was happening. Hudson waved his hand at Jebord and Belcameron, motioning for them to approach.

"Padawan Jebord, Padawan Belcameron" Hudson said and the rest of the Jedi Masters and Padawans fell silent. "The Jedi Council has just received word that the Sith are launching an attack on Bothuwai".

"That doesn't make any sense" Belcameron piped. "The Republic has the planet heavily defended, it will be senseless to try and take it".

"Even though that is true, young Belcameron, Bothuwai is a very important planet both to the Republic and the Jedi Order" Hudson explained.

Jebord cleared his throat and the attention of the room turned to him. "Master, I believe it's safe to assume that we're all being sent on assignment to Bothuwai. Why else would you call us here at four in the morning?"

The other Padawans in the room murmured with agreement. Most of them had never been on assignment, let alone being sent to defend a planet crucial to the Republic. The Great Galactic War had started a decade earlier and the Jedi have been trying to keep the younger Padawans out of it. Hudson was one of the more reckless Jedi in the Order. He tried countless times to get approval to allow Jebord to accompany him on assignments.

“Only an arrogant Jedi will be foolish enough to assume anything” Jedi Master Hanhar cut across before Hudson had a chance to respond. All the Padawans looked taken aback as they also assumed what Jebord did.

Jebord turned a bright shade of pink at these words. It was embarrassing enough to spoken down to by Jedi, let alone in front of his friends. The room stood in silence for a few more moments before Hudson spoke up.

“As arrogant and foolish young Jebord may be, he is indeed correct” he said to the listening room. “In the next hour, I want all of you to go and collect your belongings and prepare for a trip to the Bothuwai system”.

A surge of excitement zapped through Jebord’s body; he was finally going on an assignment. Jebord liked the chaos, it made him feel that everyone was living in the now, just as he was. The silence was still in the air until Hudson spoke again.

“What are you waiting for?” he snapped. “Get to it, meet in the landing bay as soon as you’re packed”.

All the Padawans scurried out of the room and rushed down the corridor back to their rooms. Belcameron’s room was one behind Jebord’s. Belcameron didn’t enter his room though, he was always prepared for anything. His lightsaber never left his belt nor did his Jedi Robe come off unless he was in the shower. Jebord liked to live on the wild side and liked unexpected surprises, so he left his weapons somewhere close just in case. Belcameron followed Jebord into his room and waited for his friend to retrieve his lightsaber and get dressed.

“Do you really think we’re going to see any action?” Belcameron asked while he watched his friend picking up his backpack. “And why are you packing a bag?”

“I’ve a strange feeling that we’re going to be there for a while” Jebord replied. “I’m packing just in case we are”.

“Well, that’s fair enough. You ready to tell me about this dream of yours?”

“Dream?” Jebord asked puzzled. He had completely forgotten about the terrible nightmare he had. “Oh that, it was just a dream”.

Belcameron sighed at his friend. “Jebord, I know you too well, you can’t lie to me”.

“Belcameron, really, it’s nothing” Jebord replied. “Now please just drop it”.

And at that Belcameron dropped the subject of the dream and sat in silence until Jebord was ready. In silence, they walked out of the room and headed the opposite way from the council room towards the landing bay. As they walked, Jebord’s mind went back to the dream. He wondered what it meant and most important of all; who was the dark figure?

“Here we are” Belcameron said as they walked through the big doors and into the landing bay.

Jebord broke out of his trance at these words and immediately saw a shiny white MX-221B on the main landing pad. He was in awe; it was the most beautiful ship he had ever laid his blue eyes upon. Even though it was a ship, flying was one of Jebord’s most favourite hobbies. He wondered if he would be able to sit in the cockpit when it was in flight. The loading ramp was down and Jebord saw a few of his fellow Jedi walking up and disappearing into the ship.

“We must be the last to arrive” Belcameron said as he watched the last Padawan file into the ship.

“You are indeed” Hudson’s voice came from behind. “Belcameron, if you could make your way on board, I need to have a word with Jebord”.

Without a second though, Belcameron acknowledged Master Hudson and made his way towards the ship and up the loading ramp. Once they were alone on the dock, Hudson turned towards Jebord and spoke to him in a serious tone.

“My young friend, what is troubling you?” he asked.

“How did you kn-“ Jebord said as his master started to smile. “You know me better than anyone, I suppose”.

“Almost better than anyone. Mr Cook and you have been inseparable since you two first met”.

Hudson did have a point; Jebord and Belcameron were as thick as thieves. They were able to guess each other’s moves. But then again, Jebord and Hudson were more than just master and Padawan. There was no doubt there couldn’t of been a better match for them.

"Master, why didn't you come get me yourself this morning?" asked Jebord trying to get the dream off of his mind again.

"You know why" Hudson replied and he began to walk towards the ship.

"I do?" questioned Jebord.

Jebord guessed that Hudson had cut short their conversation because he wasn't willing to share what was on his mind. As he followed his master up the loading ramp, he wondered what his master meant about what he had just said. When Jebord entered the ship, he saw that even the inside of it was completely white and as shiny as the outside. It was an amazing piece of craftsman ship.

"Master, what is the ship called?" he asked Hudson while they walked down the small corridor.

"It's called the Esiana" Hudson replied. "And I know exactly what you're thinking, Jebord. You're completely in love with it already".
"It's like you've known me my whole life" Jebord said with slight sarcasm in his tone.

Jebord sensed his master crack yet another grin. He loved the communication he had with his master. The walls were slightly curved from the bottom to the top. For such a simple colour, it was amazing. Jebord followed Hudson into another room which turned out to the conference room where all the other Jedi Masters and Padawans were already seated around a large oval shaped table. Jebord wasn't surprised that the table was also white. In the middle of it was a holopanel which was currently showing the planet of Bothuwai. Jebord and Hudson walked to the back of the room and sat down in the last two vacant chairs (which were also white). Before long, Master Hanhar walked into the room.

"Now that we're all here, we will be able to take off and leave Naboo" he announced and the room went dead silent. "It is going to take us twelve standard hours to reach Bothuwai. In that time, you will prepare yourselves for anything that will be thrown at you. As of now, we have no battle plan as we have lost communication with the Republic fleet above the planet's surface".

JebusJM has requested a fanfic review for this thread.

Current work in progress: The Tale of Jebord Esio
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Old 10-06-2011, 07:18 PM   #2
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This is an intriguing tale from the very start, although the grammar and punctuation are a little rough. For example, words like "craftsmanship" are one word, and it's helpful to put an ending mark after someone says Jebord's name. ["Jebord," said Master Hudson]. Also, even though your "Master Hanhar" has one R on the end of his name instead of two, I chuckled at the mental image of that psychotic Wookiee in a Jedi Master robe. Please keep writing, because I definitely want to know more about the attack on Bothawui--and the dream.
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Old 10-07-2011, 08:14 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MsFicwriter View Post
Also, even though your "Master Hanhar" has one R on the end of his name instead of two, I chuckled at the mental image of that psychotic Wookiee in a Jedi Master robe.
At first I didn't know what you were talking about, but then I quickly googled it and realised he was in TSL... which I've only played once Thanks for the criticism, more of the story has already been written.


Current work in progress: The Tale of Jebord Esio
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Old 10-08-2011, 10:53 AM   #4
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'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

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