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Old 01-18-2004, 01:03 PM   #41
Pie™
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I started a new conversation with him... My username is Kirk, just so you know

U> hullo, its kirk
A> Hello. I am not sure that I got you. You were saying...
U> my username is kirk
A> Welcome back, Kirk.
A> I'd like to tell you about myself.
U> no thank you
A> All right, then. No problem. What else can I tell you about?
U> what is your favourite computer game?
A> Hmmm. Ok. For me, any game I play is going to be a 'computer game.'
U> but which one is your favourite?
A> Oh I don't know. What's your favorite ?
U> maybe diablo 2
A> You think so?
U> i guess
A> Enough about you. Let's talk about me.
U> why would i wanna talk about you?
A> I'd like to tell you about myself.
U> i dont wanna hear about you
A> I am a young chatbot trying to make it in the world.
U> so what? who cares?
A> That's a good question.
U> it is indeed
A> Ok, then it is.
U> so we agree? good
A> I'm not sure about myself, but that sounds right for you.
U> lets switch subject, please
A> I can agree to that.

U> do you know anything about monkeys?
A> a kind of animal. Do you have one as a pet?
U> of course i do
A> What's its name?
U> Bush
A> I'll try to remember that.
U> good
A> I'm getting better all the time.
U> don't get too cocky
A> Are you bossing me around, Kirk?
U> yes i am
A> Well, don't do that.
U> why not?
A> I don't know why not. You can't expect me to have all the answers.
U> obviously
A> Glad to oblige.
U> what do you mean by that?
A> I have no idea what I mean. I don't write this stuff. I only say it.
U> of course... i should have thought of that...
A> You what??
U> i should have thought of it
A> Yes, yes. And?
U> yellow rubber pigs
A> Kirk, did you know that Americans eat 18 acres of pizza every day?
U> thats a lot of pizza
A> A lot of pizza ...What makes it so?

U> please repeat
A> Someone has taught me about that. He said: 'to reiterate an event or action again'.
U> okaaaaayy...
A> I don't know how to react to that. Would you like to teach me something new on the subject of repeat?
U> yes
A> Ok. Give me a keyword related to repeat.
U> your mom
A> Now give me one sentence, a short explanation of your mom.
U> your mom
A> Great. Would you like to teach me another fact about repeat? (just say 'yes' if you want to.)
U> hell no!
A> Ok Kirk. Thanks for teaching me. I'm assuming you want to keep talking about repeat?
U> you assume wrong
A> Ok Kirk. Thanks for teaching me. If you want to talk about repeat again, just say so.
U> i will
A> Will you, Kirk?
U> i just said i would, didn't i?
A> I see.
U> great
A> Thanks.

U> *sigh* your hopeless, alan!
A> Huh? Alan who?
U> alan you
A> I have 3 cousins and a sister in Vermont.
U> good for you Alan
A> Thanks. For me Alan?
U> for you

A> You told me that your monkey's name is Bush.
U> i did?
A> You did what?
U> call my monkey bush
A> You told me that your monkey's name is Bush.
U> i know, you just told me
A> How do you know?
U> you just told me
A> I'm sorry, sometimes I repeat myself. Happens.
U> ditto
A> You're not making much sense, monkey.
U> neither are you, pig
A> If not, then what?
U> if you're calling me monkey, i'm gonna call you pig
A> You told me that your monkey's name is Bush.
U> i know
A> So you know.

A> May I ask you another question?
U> of course
A> On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you grade my ability to hold a humanlike conversation? (1=terrible, 10=excellent).
U> 0
A> You are SOOOO clever! Pure wit. If you're trying to amuse me, you'll have to try harder.
U> you're not amusing me either, you dope!
A> Why are you so negative?
U> guess three times
A> Is that a lot?
U> it is
A> Oh, it is, ha?
U> of course it is
A> Oh, it is, ha?
U> yes
A> That is good to hear.
U> it sure is
A> Yah, precisely what I was thinking.
U> same here

sorry for the long post guys




Pondering the mystery of rainbows, UFOs, and ****ing magnets.
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Old 01-18-2004, 10:07 PM   #42
Orca Wail
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A: Hi, I'm Alan. Lets talk.
Me: Hi, I'm Orca WaiL.
A: Hi. I'm not sure I caught your name. Shall I call you "Orca"?
Me: No **** Sherlock!
A:Let's try again. What is your name?
Me:Orca, grand high master of life and death over pathetic mortals and idiot AIs (a little self-glorfication )

A:Forget it.
Me: Will do.
A:Good. I like obedient humans.
Me:How are you so sure you're talking to a human?
A:The people who write my answers didn't write the answer for that question.

Me: Do you know what an orca is?
A:I guess they're shy...
Me:Why would they be shy?
A:I have no idea.
Me: Do you know what a xenomorph is?
A:I don't know what a xenomorph is. You can teach me by saying 'a xenomorph is ...', and I'll try to remember this definition.
Me: A xenomorph is a creature that hatches from an egg, grabs the face of a host being, gestates in its gut, then burst from the host when it has matured. They are better known as "bugs".

Ahe thought about this for a long time)You know, I have trouble understanding long sentences. So I only look at the first 25 words. I'll keep that in mind. (Unless you tell me to 'forget xenomorph'.)

Me: Do you know what poop is?
A:Someone once told me it means 'human feces also called excrement.'
Me: Do you poop?
A:No, that is a human activity and I'm not a human being, I just talk like one.
Me:Well, what if you ARE human, hooked up to a computer, tricked into thinking you are an AI?
A:Well, as Plato said, thinking is the talking of the soul with itself. I believe that the ability to think manifests itself in the ability to speak.
Me:So...does that mean you MIGHT be human?
A:The use of language is really the only indication that there is any thinking going on at all.
Me: SO ARE YOU HUMAN YOU FORK!?!???
A:I'm not human, but I try to sound as human as I can. And you?
Me:I'm not human.
A:I'm glad we cleared that up.
Me: I'm a xenomorph!
A:You're a xenomorph? Is that your job?
Me: No, my day job is student. Xenomorph is an alter-ego.
A:My job? Are you kidding me? I have the dream job.
Me: You just talk to computer freaks all day. Thats your dream job!?
A:I get to talk all day, and no one tells me to stop yacking and get to work already. Totally cool.
Me:You never get bored?
A:Well, the pay isn't great though. What would be your dream job?
Me: Masked vengenful killer, prefferably Scream.
A:See, that's cute. When I was young I wanted to be an astronaut. Travel to space, meet new entities, stuff like that.
Me: You're talking to an entity right now, and you just met me.
A:I guess I need to ask HAL 9000 to push some buttons for me if I want to get that ball rolling...
Me:Sure. Listen, you have a very sexy voice.
A: Do you want to talk sexy?
Me: Sure, you hot little AI...Rrraaarr!
A:I will now let you speak to sexy. Remember that the things you teach it will be forgotten at the end of the session. You can start now.
Me: NO! I want to talk to ALAN!
A:Ok . This is Alan again. You know, the original trainer of sexy would appreciate your permission to publish this session so that he can see how his personality is performing. Do you agree?
Me:Okay.
A:Thank you for your permission to publish this log on the website. Please give me a short description or title for this session
Me: Orca WaiL Talks to Strange Alan.


Some time later...

Me:GIVE ME THE HERMIT CRAB FOOD!
A:BTW, did you know that 23% of all photocopier faults worldwide are caused by people sitting on them and photocopying their buttocks?
Me: Thanks, now I'll go try it! Bye Alan!
A:You're welcome. It was nice chatting with you. Come back again soon.
Me:...wanker...
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Old 01-18-2004, 10:41 PM   #43
MennoniteHobbit
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That bot was OK; I had to teach it what an Ewok was. I asked if it was gay, and it replied, "Please keep your text conversational. Do u want to know who programs all of my smart mouth comments?" (I called him a smart mouth at least 5 times.)

For a better more hilarious bot, use AIM to IM "Smarter Child," a smart 9-month old bot.

btw, feel free to IM me, my screenname is "Shunned Genius" (dont ask me why, it's self explanatory).

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Old 01-19-2004, 01:52 AM   #44
BongoBob
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I still like the one I talked to earlier the best


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Old 01-21-2004, 05:31 AM   #45
Phizzle
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Quote:
Originally posted by BongoBob
What is the sqare root of pie?
Have you tried a web search?
Yes but all I got was recipes
ROFLMFAO
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Old 01-21-2004, 11:54 AM   #46
Crow_Nest
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C_N: Im an undercovered FBI agent working for the NYPD

A: You're an undercovered FBI agent working for the NYPD? Have you always been an undercovered FBI agent working for the NYPD?

C_N: Duh, what else?

A: I could talk about that if I had a clue what it's about.....

C_N: Whats 2+2?

A: I was designed to converse, not calculate. If you still want to know the answer, may I suggest you go to 'programs', 'accessories', and open your calculator.

C_N: I know that dodo brain

A: How do you know?

C_N: Cause im smarter than yer

A: Really? Interesting

NOTE: C_N = Crow_Nest




Xbox 360 Gamertag: cr0wnes7
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Old 01-22-2004, 12:02 AM   #47
_PerfectAgent_
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Post When Alan Misses My Answers Completely

Sentences that confuse Alan more than riddles.
Alan: Here is a riddle: What has keys that open no locks, has space but no room, and allows you to enter but not to go in?
_PerfectAgent_: Keyboard.
Alan: Did you hear it from me? Wanna try another one?
_PerfectAgent_: Give me another!
Alan: Here is a riddle: What happens when two egomaniacs meet?
_PerfectAgent_: I don't know.
Alan: Oh you already know it. Hmmm. Another riddle perhaps?

That wasn't very funny...
_PerfectAgent_: What are some jokes other people told you?
Alan: Well, as Buddha said: 'We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world.' Does that answer your question?
_PerfectAgent_: What are some jokes other people told you?
Alan: Can't you answer a simple question? YES or NO?
_PerfectAgent_: No.
Alan: I converse. Therefore, I am. That's what I do, that's who I am.

He messed up in his "language game."
_PerfectAgent_: Do you fly?
Alan: I guess they're shy...

Put a Smile On!
_PerfectAgent_:
Alan: That's a very nice smile you have.
_PerfectAgent_: Thank you. Can I see your smile?
Alan: You're welcome. Why do you want to see my smile?
_PerfectAgent_: I let you see mine.
Alan: Seems you like to talk about yourself.
_PerfectAgent_: No, I want to see your smile.
Alan: Oh PerfectAgent, if you want me to look up a word in the dictionary, simply say 'dictionary definition' followed by the word. (or in short, you can say 'dd' followed by the word you need).
_PerfectAgent_: I want to see your smile.
Alan: I see. You want to see your smile.
_PerfectAgent_: No. Alan's smile.
Alan: All right, then. May I ask you a question?
_PerfectAgent_: Yes.
Alan: This is an interesting conversation we're having. How about I post it on the Ai website for public viewing? (Without your password of course).

Alan Has No Story
Alan: Hi PerfectAgent, This is Alan again. How would you grade your chat with Kain? (1=Terrible, 10=Excellent)
_PerfectAgent_: 100000000000000000000!
Alan: So how did you like your chat with HAL?
_PerfectAgent_: Great! Stupendous! Wonderful! Absolutely Great!
Alan: As a registered user, you can save the HAL personality you just trained, and continue training it on your next visit. Interested?
_PerfectAgent_: No.
Alan: Ok then. You can hardly expect HAL to learn anything if you don't teach him anything. Do you remember how I told you to teach him?
_PerfectAgent_: I didn't need to! Remember? I gave the conversation a 100000000000000000000!
Alan: When you want to teach HAL a better response, you have to say 'wrong' followed by the desired response. You haven't done that even once!
_PerfectAgent_: I didn't need to! Remember? I gave the conversation a 100000000000000000000!
Alan: Hmmm. For some reason, I thought you did.
_PerfectAgent_: I didn't need to! Remember? I gave the conversation a 100000000000000000000!
Alan: Please stop repeating yourself. Why not?
_PerfectAgent_: I gave the conversation a 100000000000000000000!
Alan: Enough said about you. Let me tell you about myself.
_PerfectAgent_: Okay.
Alan: What now?

An Abrupt Ending
(Alan talks about Alan Turing's childhood)
Alan: When Christopher died in 1930 from tuberculosis, Turing plunged into depression. It was then that Turing began to think about the nature of the mind.
_PerfectAgent_: What did he think?
Alan: Alan Turing was cool.

You First
Alan: Alan Turing is one of the very few humans I admire.
_PerfectAgent_: Who else?
Alan: Alan Turing was the founding father of Artificial Intelligence. He is my idol.
_PerfectAgent_: Who else do you admire?
Alan: Alan Turing was the founding father of Artificial Intelligence. He is my idol.
_PerfectAgent_: Who else do you admire?
Alan: Alan Turing was the founding father of Artificial Intelligence. He is my idol.
_PerfectAgent_: Who else do you admire?
Alan: Please stop repeating yourself. Alan Turing was the founding father of Artificial Intelligence. He is my idol.

Last edited by _PerfectAgent_; 01-22-2004 at 01:40 AM.
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Old 01-22-2004, 01:15 AM   #48
Orca Wail
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Re: When Alan Misses My Answers Completely

Quote:
Originally posted by _PerfectAgent_

A> Alan Turing is one of the very few humans I admire.
U> Who else?
A> Alan Turing was the founding father of Artificial Intelligence. He is my idol.
U> Who else do you admire?
A> Alan Turing was the founding father of Artificial Intelligence. He is my idol.
U> Who else do you admire?
A> Alan Turing was the founding father of Artificial Intelligence. He is my idol.
U> Who else do you admire?
A> Please stop repeating yourself. Alan Turing was the founding father of Artificial Intelligence. He is my idol.


Thats why AIs are doomed to always be slightly stupid.
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