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Old 06-06-2004, 08:28 PM   #1
Das Mole
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ever wonder...

got this in a chain mail type thing. i thought some of them were pretty funny. there was other stuff, too, but i liked this part the best.

ever wonder...

-why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
-why women can't put mascara on w/their mouth closed?
-why don't you ever see the headline "psychic wins lottery"?
-why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
-why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
-why is lemon juice made w/artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid is made w/real lemons?
-why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
-why is the time of day w/the slowest traffic called "rush hour"?
-why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
-why didn't noah swat those two mosquitoes?
-why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
-you know that indestrctible black box that is used on airplanes? why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?
-why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
-why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
-if con is the opposite of pro, is congress the opposite of progress?
-if flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

enjoy.
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Old 06-07-2004, 09:06 AM   #2
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No.


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Old 06-07-2004, 07:59 PM   #3
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Re: ever wonder...

Quote:
Originally posted by Das Mole
ever wonder...

-why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
-why women can't put mascara on w/their mouth closed?
-why is lemon juice made w/artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid is made w/real lemons?
-why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
-why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
-you know that indestrctible black box that is used on airplanes? why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?
[/B]
Nice! the last is true


Magicians and scientists are, on the face of it, poles part. Certainly, a group of people who often dress strangely, live in a world of their own, speak a specialized language and frequently make statements that appear to be in flagrant breach of common sense have nothing in common with a group of people who often dress strangely, speak a specialized language, live in ... er...
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Old 06-07-2004, 09:19 PM   #4
Orca Wail
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I tried puting on mascara with my mouth closed, but ended up smashing the mirror in fustration.

I hate you.
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Old 06-08-2004, 12:48 AM   #5
Skinkie
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Re: ever wonder...

Quote:
Originally posted by Das Mole

-you know that indestrctible black box that is used on airplanes? why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?
It's too dense, you could never get something that heavy off the ground, well not without an extaordinary amout of fuel, which again increases your weight, and potential for destruction. Come on, everyone use science to derail these questions one by one.


Just because people think what I say don't make sense, doesn't mean I don't like popsicles.
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Old 06-08-2004, 01:27 AM   #6
Alien426
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> -why don't you ever see the headline "psychic wins lottery"?
Cause they are charlatans?

> -why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
You can abbr. it.

> -why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
AFAIK cats don't really like to eat mice, just chase and kill 'em.

> -why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
Do they?

> -why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Because the rain is not 90 C warm?

> -if con is the opposite of pro, is congress the opposite of progress?
Yes.

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Old 06-08-2004, 01:49 AM   #7
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Re: ever wonder...

Quote:
Originally posted by Das Mole
got this in a chain mail type thing. i thought some of them were pretty funny. there was other stuff, too, but i liked this part the best.

ever wonder...

-why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
-why women can't put mascara on w/their mouth closed?
-why don't you ever see the headline "psychic wins lottery"?
-why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
-why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
-why is lemon juice made w/artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid is made w/real lemons?
-why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
-why is the time of day w/the slowest traffic called "rush hour"?
-why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
-why didn't noah swat those two mosquitoes?
-why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
-you know that indestrctible black box that is used on airplanes? why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?
-why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
-why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
-if con is the opposite of pro, is congress the opposite of progress?
-if flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

enjoy.




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Old 06-08-2004, 02:44 AM   #8
Ray Jones
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Quote:
Originally posted by RoyTordesLegend
No.
indeed.

ps.. i got your pm, roy, but am not sure yet. hmm..


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Old 06-08-2004, 03:38 AM   #9
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Arrow Groupsies

Well, I am. Wait. What are we talking about?
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Old 06-08-2004, 11:27 AM   #10
Ray Jones
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*cough*horsedoodleservedsoup*cough*

i think.


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Old 06-08-2004, 12:38 PM   #11
Natty
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I can put mascara on without opening my mouth... infact I can do all my eye makeup without opening my mouth. Of course I kind of have to open my mouth when putting lipstick/lipgloss/ lipliner etc on, but that's different. You kind of have to.


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Old 06-08-2004, 01:06 PM   #12
RoyTordesLegend
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Re: Groupsies

Quote:
Originally posted by Zoom Rabbit
Well, I am. Wait. What are we talking about?

We're talking about a joint celebration marking a very special moment in the history of Jones and Tordes......and it's coming in the next 5 days!!!!

Call it the anniversary of R-day(s)



Roy Tordes - The Legend
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Old 06-08-2004, 05:41 PM   #13
Ray Jones
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oh. a joint..


*starts smoking it*




teeheehee.

look i am from china.

-______-


..
^
(authentic ray pause)





(authentic ray end)
V


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Old 06-09-2004, 01:42 AM   #14
DrMcCoy
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argl... i'm too stupid...
i just noticed that i quoted everything...
i just wanted to mention that:

-why didn't noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Because all the stories in the bible are filthy lies... or at least just stories...
(imho)...

...




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Old 06-09-2004, 01:51 AM   #15
Skinkie
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Scientists have evidenc of the middle east flooding around Biblical times, but not the whole world. At least I think it was the middle east. Somewhere over there for sure.


Just because people think what I say don't make sense, doesn't mean I don't like popsicles.
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Old 06-09-2004, 05:58 PM   #16
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Which they probably thought of as global considering they didn't think to look.
And I doubt he took on mosquitoes, insects and such wouldn't have had a suitabvle living environment abourd the ark for 40 days and would have died on the arc. My guess is, all insects either lived in very tall tress or just evolved later.

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Old 06-11-2004, 07:21 AM   #17
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When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?

Is it possible to be totally partial?

Why do people call it a TV set when you only get one?

If buttered toast always lands butter side down, and a cat always lands on it's feet, what would happen if you dropped a cat with a piece of buttered toast tied to it's back?

If the 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?

How do you tell when you've run out of invisible ink?

Did ancient doctors refer to IVs as 'fours'?

Why do we play in recitals and recite in plays?

If the pencil #2 is so popular, why is it still #2?

If most car accidents occur within five miles of home, why doesn't everyone just live 10 miles away?

Why can't I set my laser printer on 'stun'?

If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?

If you write a book about failure, and it doesn't sell, is it a success?

Is there another word for synonym?

When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?

What's another word for thesaurus?

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?

If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it?

Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
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Old 06-11-2004, 10:18 AM   #18
Das Mole
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Quote:
If the pencil #2 is so popular, why is it still #2?
the "2" refers to the softness of the graphite in the pencil.
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Old 06-11-2004, 03:29 PM   #19
Joshi
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Well, as long as Moles actually answering the question, my answers will not be in bold.

Quote:
Originally posted by Siv
When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
Light Green

Is it possible to be totally partial?
Part of me says yes

Why do people call it a TV set when you only get one?
Haven you tried going back to the stiore and asking for three more just to complete it...for free?!

If buttered toast always lands butter side down, and a cat always lands on it's feet, what would happen if you dropped a cat with a piece of buttered toast tied to it's back?
It won't land, it'll just levitate a few feet above the ground, rotating at a very fast rate

If the 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
For that unknown 25th hour

How do you tell when you've run out of invisible ink?
The pen starts making marks on the paper

Did ancient doctors refer to IVs as 'fours'?
depnds on what you went to the doctors for. anything more than an itchy arm and the castrated you, true story

Why do we play in recitals and recite in plays?
Because the world is crazy, happy?

If the pencil #2 is so popular, why is it still #2?
Rather boriongly answered by Mole

If most car accidents occur within five miles of home, why doesn't everyone just live 10 miles away?
Because then they'd up the statistic just to annoy us

Why can't I set my laser printer on 'stun'?
the knob came off, it's stuck on kill

If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
On the distant planet Yarg. We are all unnaware that we are participating in an interstellar TV show called earthers. The bible was an early script

Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
It's always about the song man.

If you write a book about failure, and it doesn't sell, is it a success?
Don't do that, creating paradoxes such as this one would destroy the universe. And that's not nice.

Is there another word for synonym?
wordalika, it's a word!

When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?
You turnip, they wouldn't have signs!

What's another word for thesaurus?
otherwordhole, it is also a word

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
A clean gas petrol station bathroom toilet is an unholy thing. They are saving us from the wrath of god.
Plus, someone could nick the soap.

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?
No, the rest laugh and then hide the poison

If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?
I'm always hungry. It's a sickness.

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it?
Tho thorry

Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
To keep us waiting

If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
Sey[/B]

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