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Old 02-20-2001, 08:15 AM   #1
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Lightbulb Electric sheep joke

Once upon a time, there was a farmer who was showing his farm off to a visiting news reporter. Out in the animal pens, he was pointing out his prized livestock. 'That's my blue-ribbon geese,' he said proudly.

The reporter walked up to the geese and asked them, 'So, what is life like here on the farm?'

To the farmer's utter astonishment, the geese replied, 'Fine, fine. We get lots of feed, and the farmer keeps us safe from coyotes.'

'Uhm,' said the farmer, 'I didn't know geese could talk.'

'Why, of course they can!' laughed the reporter. 'So can this cow, too!'

'Yes, indeed,' spoke the cow. 'And I would just like to say that I get plenty of hay, but what I'd really like is some corn!'

By now the farmer was aghast. His animals were talking.

'Heck, they all talk,' the reporter went on. 'Let's go over there and talk to the sheep--!'

But before he could get there, all of the sheep emitted enormous bolts of electricity amongst themselves, crackling fiercely in the afternoon sun, then burst into flames.

'I forgot to tell you,' said the farmer, 'I have electric sheep.'



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Old 02-20-2001, 08:46 AM   #2
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I don't get it
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Old 02-20-2001, 09:30 AM   #3
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Oh.

Howzabout this one, then?

Q: 'How many electric sheep does it take to screw in a lightbulb?'

A: 'Zero--electric sheep provide their own illumination.'


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Old 02-20-2001, 09:34 AM   #4
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Arrow

Or even...

Q: What do you call an electric sheep with no legs?

A: Grounded.


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Old 02-20-2001, 10:11 AM   #5
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Lightbulb

I think Zoomie's been drinking again...
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Old 02-20-2001, 05:56 PM   #6
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Correction, Zoomie HAS been drinking again

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Old 02-20-2001, 05:58 PM   #7
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Second Correction: Zoomie has immersed himself in a tank of pure alcohol again.<font size=-2>

[This message has been edited by Admiral Zaarin (edited February 20, 2001).]
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Old 02-20-2001, 06:07 PM   #8
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That reminds me of Pokémon. There's an electric sheep called Mareep.

<font size=1>

[This message has been edited by Psycho Tycho (edited February 20, 2001).]
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Old 02-20-2001, 07:33 PM   #9
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Baa! Baa! *Fzap! Crackle!* Ba-aa!
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Old 02-20-2001, 07:55 PM   #10
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shots the sheep in the head. Problem solved.

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Old 02-20-2001, 07:59 PM   #11
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Arrow

*(Static backcharge electrocutes Admiral)*

When are you going to learn that the animals I bring onto the forum are A: dangerous, and B: infinite?

*(Cloned electric sheep arrive in large numbers. The power supply problem for California is solved.)*
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Old 02-20-2001, 08:11 PM   #12
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Lightbulb

Zen electric sheep riddle:

'What is the sound of one electric sheep arcing?'
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Old 02-20-2001, 09:07 PM   #13
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Go away, Zoom.
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Old 02-20-2001, 09:07 PM   #14
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*Shakes head in amusement/wonderment*

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Old 02-20-2001, 09:09 PM   #15
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Wink

a better sheep joke:

a blond woman gets sick of all of the blond jokes and everyone making fun of her so she dyes her hair brown. one day she is driving along a country road when she spies a sheep farm, with the shepherd out with the herd. she pulls over her car and walks to the fence.
she calls out to the shepherd, "if i can guess how many sheep you have, can i pick one and take it home with me?"
the shepherd agrees to this, thinking she won't guess the number.
the blond says, "you have 342 sheep."
the farmer is flabbergasted. "that's right!" he exclaims.
"can i pick my sheep now?" the blond asks.
"i suppose," says the farmer, and she picks out the cutest sheep from among the herd.
the farmer thinks for a minute and then says to the blond, "if i can guess your natural hair color, can i have my dog back?"

hahahaha
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Old 02-20-2001, 09:58 PM   #16
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ha ha

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Old 02-20-2001, 10:35 PM   #17
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Thumbs up

That's byoo-tee-ful, Andy.
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Old 02-20-2001, 11:15 PM   #18
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That's the best blond joke I've heard in a long time.
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Old 02-20-2001, 11:37 PM   #19
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Zoom=Very Bad Joke
Andy=Much better joke thatn Zoom


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Old 02-21-2001, 12:31 AM   #20
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Lightbulb

I agree one hundred percent. I was going to say that the best joke yet was NOT by zoom!

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Old 02-21-2001, 04:16 AM   #21
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This thread is...really weird.
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Old 02-21-2001, 06:43 AM   #22
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yeah i could tell any number of sheep jokes but the ones i know would probably get not only my ip banned but milkshakes, coffees, etc... aswell so i wont

rather pointless post really

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Old 02-21-2001, 07:33 AM   #23
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...But I'm not finished yet!

Q: why did the electric sheep cross the road?

A: Negative sheep charge on the other side.


Outta here! *Zoom!*
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Old 02-21-2001, 08:10 AM   #24
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I got a much better blond joke:

A blond woman goes to the barber's and says: "I'd like to get a haircut." And the barber says: "How do you want it?" The blonde: "Just a bit shorter please. And watch out that you don't cut through that small black wire."
The barber starts cutting. But after a while he suddenly gets distracted and cuts right through the wire. He thinks by himself: "I hope she didn't notice anything. I'll just carry on and pretend that nothing has happened."
Thus the barber continues to barber his client. But after a few minutes, the woman falls out of her chair and lies still on the floor. The barber tries to keep his head cool and checks her pulse. He comes to the awful conclusion that she's dead. But when he sees that the cut wire leads to a walkman that now lies next to the body, his fear changes into curiosity. He puts the tape in a stereo and hears: "Breathe in.........breathe out.......breathe in........breathe out......."



[This message has been edited by Gold leader (edited February 21, 2001).]
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Old 02-21-2001, 08:25 AM   #25
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I'll bet Gold Leader's seen a few electric sheep in his day! *(Nudge, nudge. Wink, wink.)*

Actually, the punch line to the very first sheep joke at the top is supposed to be: (instead of the sheep catching on fire.)

The farmer said, 'No, consarnit--everyone knows that sheep lie!'

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Old 02-21-2001, 08:33 AM   #26
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Gee, I'm glad I'm not a) blonde or b) a sheep
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Old 02-21-2001, 08:45 AM   #27
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Wink

I like blondes, but I'm ambivalent toward sheep.

Electric sheep, on the other hand, are loads of fun!

Mary had a little lamb;
its fleece was white as snow.
But when it rained, the power grid the lamb was bound to blow!


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Old 02-21-2001, 11:04 AM   #28
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Lightbulb

Oh Lordy...
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Old 02-21-2001, 11:34 AM   #29
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Do I smell burning lanolin? *Sniff!*
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Old 02-21-2001, 12:46 PM   #30
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i'm scared.

I'm scared that Zoom is out there.... somewhere.... doing who know what...........
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Old 02-21-2001, 04:52 PM   #31
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I nearly electrocute myself on a weekly basis in my electric circuit lab for school. I suck
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Old 02-21-2001, 05:00 PM   #32
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<font color="yellow">Yeah.</font>
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Old 02-21-2001, 06:39 PM   #33
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I agree.

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"Dulce bellum inexpertis."
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Old 02-21-2001, 08:54 PM   #34
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Lightbulb

'If a sheep in the woods is struck by lightning, and there's no one around to hear it...what does this say about the conductivity of sheep?'

Also, I would like to mention that Thomas Edison was known to experiment with wool as a filament material for his most famous invention, the lightbulb.

*(Runs and hides)*
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Old 02-21-2001, 09:10 PM   #35
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*Thinks of the BABE movies for some reason*

BAAAAAAAH RAM EWE!
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Old 02-22-2001, 01:01 AM   #36
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what happens when it rains on your sheep -- one who is named after a pod racer

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Old 02-22-2001, 01:21 AM   #37
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well I did, and I don't think it was annoying, All I did was hold down the enter key.......find a funnier one next time.

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Old 02-22-2001, 01:33 AM   #38
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heres a new one but its not much better, if you know of any others tell me, i'll post them in RS.net first

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Old 02-22-2001, 02:26 AM   #39
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a sheep joke (sorry, not electric though my zoom bit)

warning: this joke has been posted by myself on this same forum many many moons ago

<font size=+3> Q. </font size=+3> <font color="red">what is the difference between a rolling stones song and a scottish shepherd?</font color="red">

<font size=+3> A. </font size=+3> <font color="white">the rolling stones song says "hey you, get offa my cloud!" and the scottish shepherd says "hey McLeod, get offa my ewe!"</font color="white">

ewwww
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Old 02-22-2001, 02:43 AM   #40
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bad image, very bad image. thanks a lot Ros, you gave me a very bad pic.

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