lfnetwork.com mark read register faq members calendar

Thread: Jedi Knight: Jedi Master
Thread Tools Display Modes
Post a new thread. Sorry, this thread is closed. Indicate all threads in this forum as read. Subscribe to this forum. RSS feed: this forum RSS feed: all forums
Old 09-19-2006, 12:56 PM   #1
Diego Varen
Left and may not return
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 4,850
Contest winner - Fan Fiction 
Jedi Knight: Jedi Master

mach, no need to review this. Thanks.

This is a new Fic set after Jedi Outcast and set before Jedi Academy (My other Fic, The Adventures of Jaden Lennon is being cancelled, until further notice). It stars Kyle Katarn and has cameos from Jan Ors, Luke Skywalker and even my RP Character, Vok Onasi. The way my Chapters will be set are different compared to my old Fics. Now they will have Parts, each one containing a Prologue, some Chapters and an Epilogue. I will post the example of the first Part shown below. (Note I like to credit the Quote thing at the beginning of each Chapter, Prologue and Epilogue to igyman.)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Part I
Dxun
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Dxun Prologue
Chapter I - Entrance to the Tomb
Chapter II - Trek
Chapter III - Return of the Imperial Remnant
Chapter IV - A Familiar Face
Chapter V - Darkness Rising
Chapter VI - The Helmet of the last Mandalore
Dxun Epilogue

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dxun Prologue
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


“I’ve killed a lot of people… criminals, competitors, businessmen, police… women, children… I can’t say I’m proud of it, but I have.” - Canderous Ordo

*****

The moon of Dxun was in sight. From the cockpit of the Raven’s Claw, both Kyle Katarn and Jan Ors could see Dxun’s surface. The surface was a lush environment, with many forests and mazes. In the past, despite it being temperate and habitable, the jungles on Dxun posed a challenge for anyone trying to start a life there. Dxun was also the largest moon of the Planet Onderon. It also had many different tombs, such as the tomb of the Sith Lord, Freedon Nadd. However the tomb, Kyle was going to go to was the tomb of Canderous Ordo.

*****

Soon, the Raven’s Claw landed on Dxun, right outside the tomb of Canderous Ordo. The tomb was hidden from most of Dxun, since a lot of trees and vegetation surrounded the tomb. Both Kyle and Jan got out of the Raven’s Claw. Kyle looked around. The tomb seemed to be locked from the outside, but Kyle knew that the door wouldn’t be able to remain closed, when he would open it with his Lightsaber. He walked up to the door and took one look at him.

“Here it is Jan,” Kyle told her, “The tomb of Canderous Ordo. I don’t see what was so special about him though.”

Jan crossed her arms and glared at Kyle.

“Are you sure those aren’t just rumours?” Jan asked.

Kyle didn’t answer her, since he didn’t know the answer. He got out his Lightsaber and ignited it. A clear blue blade shot out of it.

He pushed his Lightsaber into the middle of the door, making a small hole in the door. Kyle kicked the door down and prepared to leave. Jan was following.

“No Jan.” Kyle told her.

“No what?” Jan asked.

“You should stay with the ship,” Kyle told her, “I can’t afford to lose you again.”

Kyle walked back towards her and embraced her.

“You won’t lose me again,” Jan told Kyle, “I can assure you.”

“Please stay with the ship,” Kyle begged her, “This is a matter for a Jedi Knight to handle.”

Kyle walked off into the darkness.

“Anything you say.” Jan told Kyle.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Stay tuned for Chapter I Entrance to the Tomb
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Last edited by Pottsie; 09-20-2006 at 04:41 PM.
Diego Varen is offline   you may:
Old 09-19-2006, 01:19 PM   #2
CSI
Aa! Megami-sama!
 
CSI's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Tariki Hongan Temple, City of
Posts: 1,797
Current Game: Frozen Throne
Helpful! 
Hey...Nice prologue, keep up! Still looking forward to see what next!




| Muunilinst 10 | Real Life | Exiled Jedi Weapon Master | Ex-Sith Marauder | Gunslinger |
Killed in a suicide attempt of ramming his own ship, Ravager, onto the surface of Telos IV. --Casualty Report: Order 66
CSI is offline   you may:
Old 09-19-2006, 01:24 PM   #3
igyman
Tension!
 
igyman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: White City
Posts: 3,409
Current Game: Trine Enchanted Edition (PC)
Forum Veteran Helpful! Contest winner - Fan Fiction 
Sounds interesting, I'll try to read this one regularly (I'm saying ''try'' because college starts next monday so I don't really know how much free time will I have).

igyman is offline   you may:
Old 09-19-2006, 01:25 PM   #4
Diego Varen
Left and may not return
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 4,850
Contest winner - Fan Fiction 
Quote:
Originally Posted by john_ctg
Hey...Nice prologue, keep up! Still looking forward to see what next!
Thanks john_ctg and thanks for the other comments you've said in my other Fics too. The Prologues and Epilogues will be short most of the time, but the Chapters will be longer. This way of doing my Fic has been inspired by the PS2 game (That I own), Indiana Jones and the Emperor's Tomb.
Diego Varen is offline   you may:
Old 09-19-2006, 03:05 PM   #5
Jason Skywalker
Fight da Powah
 
Jason Skywalker's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 3,152
Current Game: SMT: Imagine
Well, yeah, seemed really good, and i like the new style! I'm guessing as well that Jan won't obey him, but, who knows?
Jason Skywalker is offline   you may:
Old 09-19-2006, 03:27 PM   #6
Diego Varen
Left and may not return
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 4,850
Contest winner - Fan Fiction 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jason Skywalker
Well, yeah, seemed really good, and i like the new style! I'm guessing as well that Jan won't obey him, but, who knows?
Yeah who knows. Thanks for the comments Jason and yeah I like the new style too.
Diego Varen is offline   you may:
Old 09-19-2006, 04:28 PM   #7
Diego Varen
Left and may not return
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 4,850
Contest winner - Fan Fiction 
Sorry for another short Chapter, but I plan to get to the good parts as soon as possible. This Chapter also stars a cameo from one of my Fics.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chapter I
Entrance to the Tomb
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


“However, even their many traps could not long hold back the curious, the fools, and the weak. And so these tombs fell, spilling their secrets into the hands of those unable to comprehend or preserve them.” - Kreia

*****

A Lightsaber can light up even the darkest of places. Any Jedi knew this. Kyle walked through the tomb, wary of any traps that might try to kill him. As he treked through the tomb, Kyle wondered if Jan had taken his advice and stayed with the Raven’s Claw. Despite what he had said, he knew he was right. He couldn’t afford to lose Jan again, not after last time. Still, he doubted that anything like that would ever happen. Something shot past Kyle. It looked like a blaster shot. Kyle quickly turned around to see a Trandoshan.

“Freeze Human,” The Trandoshan spat, “You might not live to see another day.”

“Okay,” Kyle muttered out loud, “So why am I being stopped by some low life, who probably doesn’t know what a Jedi can do.”

“I know what a Jedi can do,” The Trandoshan told Kyle, “I’m Trando Shan, also known as Doctor Death, a Mercenary from the Clone Wars.”

“I take it you were once a Doctor?” Kyle asked, trying to make conversation.

Trando Shan ignored him and walked past Kyle. He got out a small sphere and turned it on. It was a Thermal Detonator. He threw it at the wall and ran back behind Kyle. A large explosion shattered the wall, throwing the bricks in all directions. Kyle was shocked. No Thermal Detonator could do that much damage.

“You know, you could have just asked me to use my Lightsaber.” Kyle told Trando.

“Yes, but this makes people wonder,” Trando told Kyle, “Come on.”

Kyle followed Trando, unsure of what he had just said.

*****

The tomb began to get lighter and lighter, despite the fact that both Kyle and Trando were going deeper into the tomb. Someone must have already been down there. Soon, Kyle and Trando approached a large door. Kyle knew that no Lightsaber or explosive would be able to take this door down. Not even the Raven’s Claw could take the door down. The door was powered by the Force, somehow. Trando ran towards the door, hoping to break it down, but he was shocked by a door security system.

“Listen, you find a way into that room and I’ll see if I can open this door from here.” Trando told Kyle.

“You got it,” Kyle told Trando, not sure whether or not to trust him, “There is a vent above us. I can leap up to it and see if it leads to anywhere.”

Kyle leapt up and heard Trando speak.

“Don’t take too long.”

Kyle didn’t bother listening. He wanted to know who was down here and why. Questions would be answered soon enough.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Stay tuned for Chapter II Trek
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Diego Varen is offline   you may:
Old 09-19-2006, 04:39 PM   #8
igyman
Tension!
 
igyman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: White City
Posts: 3,409
Current Game: Trine Enchanted Edition (PC)
Forum Veteran Helpful! Contest winner - Fan Fiction 
The story is interesting, but I'm not very thrilled by a Trandoshan called Trando Shan. Ah, at least his name has a certain comedy about it.

igyman is offline   you may:
Old 09-19-2006, 04:53 PM   #9
Diego Varen
Left and may not return
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 4,850
Contest winner - Fan Fiction 
Quote:
Originally Posted by igyman
The story is interesting, but I'm not very thrilled by a Trandoshan called Trando Shan. Ah, at least his name has a certain comedy about it.
Looking back, I have to agree. Trando Shan was a Character I quickly made for the Mercenary Crew RP and I couldn't think of a name. And then Trando Shan came to me. Also igyman, thanks for your comments and I just noticed your other Post. Yeah College/School isn't great, but still.
Diego Varen is offline   you may:
Old 09-19-2006, 04:59 PM   #10
igyman
Tension!
 
igyman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: White City
Posts: 3,409
Current Game: Trine Enchanted Edition (PC)
Forum Veteran Helpful! Contest winner - Fan Fiction 
I stick to what I said, you'll definitely be hearing (reading) my comments regularly til the end of this week. After that, I'll try, but I cannot promise to be regular.

igyman is offline   you may:
Old 09-19-2006, 05:23 PM   #11
HK-42
HK47+Marvin=
 
HK-42's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: The Unknown Regions
Posts: 2,040
Current Game: AssassinsCreed,kotor
Hot Topic Starter 
good Prologue and chap 1 and I like the idea ill be reading this

*adds to favorites*

HK-42 is offline   you may:
Old 09-19-2006, 05:29 PM   #12
Jason Skywalker
Fight da Powah
 
Jason Skywalker's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 3,152
Current Game: SMT: Imagine
Nice to see Trando knowing Kyle. I'm betting they're both content old men.

If you didn't get it, play JK : DF II or see cutscenes from it in Youtube, like i did.

Anyways, looking forward for the next chapter.
Jason Skywalker is offline   you may:
Old 09-19-2006, 05:43 PM   #13
CSI
Aa! Megami-sama!
 
CSI's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Tariki Hongan Temple, City of
Posts: 1,797
Current Game: Frozen Throne
Helpful! 
I really don't think Trando Shan a trandoshan is funny because it makes me think he's Bastila Shan's brother. Really. (Just joking. Just my opinion.)




| Muunilinst 10 | Real Life | Exiled Jedi Weapon Master | Ex-Sith Marauder | Gunslinger |
Killed in a suicide attempt of ramming his own ship, Ravager, onto the surface of Telos IV. --Casualty Report: Order 66
CSI is offline   you may:
Old 09-20-2006, 01:31 AM   #14
Diego Varen
Left and may not return
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 4,850
Contest winner - Fan Fiction 
Quote:
Originally Posted by john_ctg
I really don't think Trando Shan a trandoshan is funny because it makes me think he's Bastila Shan's brother. Really. (Just joking. Just my opinion.)
How could Trando Shan be Bastila's brother? She died so many years before him. I have played Dark Forces II: Jedi Knight and it had the best storyline ever. Too bad the graphics look bad now. Thanks for your comments all and I hope to improve the next Chapters, since I don't usually rush them.
Diego Varen is offline   you may:
Old 09-20-2006, 03:24 AM   #15
CSI
Aa! Megami-sama!
 
CSI's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Tariki Hongan Temple, City of
Posts: 1,797
Current Game: Frozen Throne
Helpful! 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pottsie
How could Trando Shan be Bastila's brother? She died so many years before him. I have played Dark Forces II: Jedi Knight and it had the best storyline ever. Too bad the graphics look bad now. Thanks for your comments all and I hope to improve the next Chapters, since I don't usually rush them.
Well, maybe I'm addicted to ancient Jedi. and I just want some fun mixing with New Jedi and Ancient Jedi. However, keep up!

Thanks for your kind advice in my fic!




| Muunilinst 10 | Real Life | Exiled Jedi Weapon Master | Ex-Sith Marauder | Gunslinger |
Killed in a suicide attempt of ramming his own ship, Ravager, onto the surface of Telos IV. --Casualty Report: Order 66
CSI is offline   you may:
Old 09-20-2006, 04:42 PM   #16
Diego Varen
Left and may not return
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 4,850
Contest winner - Fan Fiction 
Quote:
Originally Posted by john_ctg
Well, maybe I'm addicted to ancient Jedi. and I just want some fun mixing with New Jedi and Ancient Jedi. However, keep up!

Thanks for your kind advice in my fic!
No problem john. I don't think I can be bothered to continue with this. Sorry all. I need to come up with a good Fic and continue with it. It might take a while. Once again I apologise. Jae Onasi, could you please close this. Thanks.
Diego Varen is offline   you may:
Old 09-20-2006, 04:48 PM   #17
HK-42
HK47+Marvin=
 
HK-42's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: The Unknown Regions
Posts: 2,040
Current Game: AssassinsCreed,kotor
Hot Topic Starter 
damn oh well Better Luck next time

HK-42 is offline   you may:
Old 09-21-2006, 09:16 PM   #18
Jae Onasi
Antiquis temporibus, nati tibi similes in rupibus ventosissimis exponebantur ad necem
 
Jae Onasi's Avatar
 
Status: Super Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 10,912
Current Game: Guild Wars 2, VtMB, TOR
Alderaan News Holopics contributor Helpful! LucasCast staff Veteran Fan Fic Author 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pottsie
No problem john. I don't think I can be bothered to continue with this. Sorry all. I need to come up with a good Fic and continue with it. It might take a while. Once again I apologise. Jae Onasi, could you please close this. Thanks.
Closed per author request.


From MST3K's spoof of "Hercules Unchained"--heard as Roman medic soldiers carry off an unconscious Greek Hercules on a 1950's Army green canvas stretcher: "Hi, we're IX-I-I. Did somebody dial IX-I-I?"

Read The Adventures of Jolee Bindo and see the amazing Peep Surgery
Story WIP: The Dragonfighters
My blog: Confessions of a Geeky Mom--Latest post: Security Alerts!
Love Star Trek AND gaming? Check out Lotus Fleet.

Jae Onasi is offline   you may:
Post a new thread. Sorry, this thread is closed. Indicate all threads in this forum as read. Subscribe to this forum. RSS feed: this forum RSS feed: all forums
Go Back   LucasForums > Network > Knights of the Old Republic > Community > Coruscant Entertainment Centre > Jedi Knight: Jedi Master

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 11:03 AM.

LFNetwork, LLC ©2002-2011 - All rights reserved.
Powered by vBulletin®
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.