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Old 09-13-2006, 02:36 PM   #1
Jackisonfire
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Imperial Commando Tie-In Story

My story, Imperial Commando: The Rebellion, is a tie-in short story, meant if Imperial Commando actually becomes a game. It was first written in the Republic Commando forum of this site but some more experienced people told me I would have better luck here.

Last edited by Jackisonfire; 09-26-2006 at 12:24 PM.
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Old 09-13-2006, 02:44 PM   #2
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PART 1: THE DEATH STAR

|-\-\-\-Chapter 1-/-/-/-|
|-\-\-\-New And Improved-/-/-/-|
|-\-\-\-Aboard the Death Star, 1431 military clock-/-/-/-|

"Ah, the commandos of the empire. You shall do the empire's bidding, and so shall your brothers, but you are superior to them in every way. But what am I saying? You have probably heard this already when you but young ones on Kamino. You are dismissed, men." - Admiral Callor.

I looked down at my new Stormtrooper commando helmet, and the lifeless black eyes stared back at me. We'd been given shiny new armour and guns, from Lord Vader himself. The other clones, or should I say Stormtroopers now, where given lesser armour and weapons, meant only for death now, as they always have been. I was told when I was young that all clones were bred to die or eventually retire, and I didn't want to retire.

Us commandos were lucky that we were the ones that hadn't killed the Jedi. They had helped us in our missions in the past, they had beens some of the Republic's best fighters and some of our best friends. Now they had all been slain, and only the Sith
remained.

I wondered if the Sith were evil, or if the Jedi were evil. But I was just a clone, and I was made for fighting, not thinking.

"89?" said Theta-12, ending my train of thought. My team's computer expert, nicknamed 'Com' had just walked in.

"Ah, Com," I replied, "I've been waiting for you, where are the others?"

"They're coming along now sir, we just need to-"

"Lead-89!" called Theta-64, the team's demolitions expert, nicknamed 'Core'.

"Hello Core, you're late," I scolded.

"Sorry sir, I had a meeting with Admiral Keep, he wanted to congratulate me on my last training mission,"

"It's ok Theta, but where's-"

Once again, I was interupted. But this time is was by Theta-18, the team's sniper, nicknamed 'Stalker', as he came through the door saying, "Sorry Lead-89, I had to clean up my new suit, it wasn't clean enough,"

Blood was now pattered around his new suit, making him look like he had been in battle just before coming into the debriefing room. It reminded me of a clone I once new called Sev, part of Delta squad. I didn't know what had happened to him now or Delta squad.

"I understand Theta," I said and nodded at him, "now we just have to wait for Admiral Callor to give us our orders,"

We waited in silence for around a half hour until there was large thud against the Death Star.

"Hold stance Thetas," I reassured them. A few seconds later, Admiral Callor came rushing in.

"Rebels have attacked the ship!" he panted.

We had all heard about this rebellion, but the commandos had never seen the rebels.

"Commandos, head down to hanger D, and destroy the rebel ship there. Lord Vader says it is of utmost importance. Also kill any rebels in you see. I would stay and give you more information but I am needed elsewhere. Commandos dismissed,"

And with that he ran back out of the room as quickly as he had entered.

"Come on Thetas, let's get to that hanger," I said to them all and we exited the room.
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Old 09-13-2006, 02:46 PM   #3
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|-\-\-\-Chapter 2-/-/-/-|
|-\-\-\-The Birth Of The Rebellion-/-/-/-|
|-\-\-\-Inside a corridor leading to hanger D, 1505 military clock-/-/-/-|

"The Imperial commandos are the backbone of the empire. In fact, without them, there would be no empire. The wars won, would be lost, and I would of died long ago. The empire owes much to those brave commandos, as do I." - The Emperor.

A rebel screamed as he hit the ground, his body giving off smoke where he had been hit with our blasters.

"Rebel scum," Stalker said as he looked down at the dead body.

"This corridor is secure, Thetas, now let's go," I commanded.

We continued down the corridors, shooting and killing rebels as we went. As we were going over a bridge leading to the last corridor when I saw a young rebel man and woman swinging across two sides of the chasm we were in.

"Fire at them!" I cried and we started shooting. Sadly we were too slow to react and they made it to the other side. "Keep moving Thetas,"

We ran through to hanger D and saw the two rebels we had seen earlier, a new one and a wookiee. They seemed depressed as they climbed onto the ship we were meant to destroy. We looked around the room and saw Lord Vader walking towards their ship but a door closed on him. We ran down the stairs to the side of us and Com threw a homing device on their ship just as it left the port.

"Theta sqaud," came Lord Vader's rough voice down the intercom.

"Yes, my lord?" I asked.

"I want you to follow that ship and try to destroy it if possible, but if you cannot, find where it goes and report back to me,"

"Yes, my lord,"

We didn't know why it was so important to Lord Vader, but we knew what happened to those who did not follow his orders. We quickly made our way to hangar E and boarded one of the imperial ships.

"Follow that homing device, Theta," I said as Com manned the ship.

"Yes Lead-89," Com replied and set up a screen to follow the rebel ship.
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Old 09-13-2006, 03:41 PM   #4
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Looks very interesting. I will keep reading this. And yes those people were right. I think that the future Chapters need to be slightly longer, at least one page in Word (But correct me if they are one page). You get better luck over in the KOTOR Forum. I'm looking foward to more.

PS. Welcome to the Forums.
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Old 09-13-2006, 04:12 PM   #5
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good fic ill also be reading this

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Old 09-14-2006, 12:40 PM   #6
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PART 2: YAVIN IV

|-\-\-\-Chapter 3-/-/-/-|
|-\-\-\-Crash Landing On Yavin IV-/-/-/-|
|-\-\-\-Aboard an Imperial ship, 1527 military clock-/-/-/-|

You are not clones anymore. You are the empire’s warriors, the Stormtroopers. You are not with the republic anymore, the empire rules the galaxy now.” – Lord Vader.

We followed the rebel ship in hot pursuit, not wanting to anger Lord Vader. We wanted to shoot but we were out of range, so following it to wherever it was going was the best option now. We chased the ship and it went to the planet Yavin, and landed on its fourth moon.

“Lord Vader,” I said loudly into the ship’s intercom. There was a pause.

“Yes, my commandos,” said Lord Vader finally.

“The rebel ship has landed on the fourth moon of the planet Yavin,” I replied.

“Thank you my commandos, you have done well. Circle the planet but do not attack. We don’t know how many rebels are on Yavin IV, maybe enough to take down such elite soldiers like you, and the empire needs you commandos, more than you think,”

“Thank you my lord,” I finished. “Lord Vader says we shall wait for further instructions,”

We waited there for an hour, when Lord Vader’s voice came down my headphones. “Commandos?”

“Yes, my lord,” I answered.

“You are to infiltrate the rebel base on Yavin IV and destroy the rebel ships within, and kill any rebels that are unlucky enough to cross your path,”

“Yes, my lord,” I said. “Come on Thetas, let’s get down there and deal with this rebellion,”

“Yes, sir,” they chorused, and Com started the ship up again. He pressed a button, and we started flying downwards towards the moon. As we descended, we could see other Imperial ships coming into view. There were small ones, probably containing some other commando teams, big ones, carrying the armies, and a variety of tie ships, for the space battle that was going to rage exactly where we were now.

As we neared the planet, we hit the atmosphere and started getting very hot, even though I knew our suits would prevent us from burning, I started getting scared that we might die out here. The ground got ever closer, and I knew it was going to be a rough landing.

“Brace yourselves,” Core said calmly, as we hit the ground with a mighty thud.
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Old 09-14-2006, 12:51 PM   #7
Diego Varen
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Still quite short. Your Chapters need to be slightly longer, but overall it was still good.
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Old 09-14-2006, 03:57 PM   #8
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good chap

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Old 09-14-2006, 04:45 PM   #9
Jae Onasi
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Hey Jacki, welcome to the forums, and welcome to CEC. If you have any questions, feel free to ask, or you can PM me or the other moderators. There's some good resource stickies at the top of the page in this forum--you're welcome to contribute your thoughts, tips, and ideas, too.

Heh, if people complain it's too short, it's usually a good sign they want to see more....
You have some good action going, and I can see what's happening. Consider adding in a little more scene/feeling detail to flesh out the story a little more. It'll make it feel more 'real', and I think you'll like the richness of feeling more that way.
Keep writing!


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Old 09-14-2006, 04:46 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jae Onasi
Heh, if people complain it's too short, it's usually a good sign they want to see more....
I know I want to see more. This Fic has potential and if you can flesh out the story like Jae says, then perhaps it could become even better. I'm looking foward to the next Chapter.
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Old 09-20-2006, 12:26 PM   #11
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*Girlish squeal!* Thanks you guys! . I will make them longer lol.
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Old 09-20-2006, 01:03 PM   #12
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|-\-\-\-Chapter 4-/-/-/-|
|-\-\-\-An Unexpected Turn-/-/-/-|
|-\-\-\-On Yavin VI, 1613 military clock-/-/-/-|

"Just don't scratch the new suits" - Commander Yevera.

I awoke with a jolt. My squad were hovering over me, and I slowly made my up to my feet.

"Sir, wait, you took a nasty blow to the head," Stalker warned.

"I'm okay Theta," I said and looked around. "How long have I been out?"

"Only a few minutes sir, we didn't wanna wake you," said Core sarcastically.

"Let's get out of here, we took it pretty hard," I said.

We made our way out the ship, and Stalker climbed on top to survey the area while we waited for Lord Vader to give us our orders.

"It's all clear boss, but there's a pretty nasty fight going on in the distance," Stalker remarked.

"Commandos," Lord Vader said down the radio.

"Yes, my lord," I answered.

"We have a very unpredicted move from the rebels, they are making battle droids to fight us in battle. The factory is a little ahead of your position. Move forth, and - ah, young Skywalker, I have you now..."

There was a cry from Lord Vader down the intercom and an explosion.

"Lord Vader?" I asked, but static came instead of his voice. "Lord Vader?"

"Something wrong Lead-89?" Com questioned.

"No Theta, we have our orders, let's go," I replied, and we moved through the woods and away from the crash site. As Lord Vader had said, there was a large building ahead of us, where the droids were being produced. We made our way cautiously towards it, fearing the droids could come out at any moment.

We went through the entrance and were in shock. The battle droids we had fought so hard to destroy as clones were here again. Row after row were towering up to the top of the building.

"Son of a..." Stalker muttered, looking around at them all.

"Okay Thetas, we don't have all day," I ordered. I looked around and saw some stairs leading up. "Let's get up those stairs,"

Up the stairs there was a rebel guard, who was immediately taken care of. However, the shot woke one of the droids, who said "Roger roger," and then the rest of the row woke up.

"1-8, get over there to that sniping position, 1-2, slice the droid's command panels, 6-4, follow him and find a way to destroy this place,"
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Old 09-20-2006, 01:17 PM   #13
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Good Chapter. Still quite short though. I'm looking foward to more.
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Old 09-20-2006, 03:55 PM   #14
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good chap again hope for more

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Old 09-20-2006, 04:13 PM   #15
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Welcome, and congratulations. You just bought a ticket to a larger world.

Oh, the chapters are not short. They're TOOOOOOOO short. LOL.

Looking forward to read more. I love Republic Commando Game Series, especially their quotes. Mostly, I play not for mission objective but for their funny quotes.




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Old 09-21-2006, 11:47 AM   #16
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I am gonna have to think up MORE ideas now guys lol
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Old 09-21-2006, 12:34 PM   #17
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|-\-\-\-Chapter 5-/-/-/-|
|-\-\-\-The Death Star Is Destroyed-/-/-/-|
|-\-\-\-On Yavin IV, 1634 military clock-/-/-/-|

"There have been rebellions before in the empire, but none as great as this. I can sense something in this one, something powerful in the force. This may be the end of the empire and all who have fought to make it." - Lord Vader.

All the droids were awake now. They were shooting from their metal holders, while some were walking out and falling to the floor below. Stalker and I were shooting the droids while Com and Core found a way to destroy this place. We'd taken down 30 or so droids, and we were starting to run out of ammo. This was a small, silent mission. Not a war.

"Sir, I've only got a few bullets left," Stalker shouted over the roar of fire.

"We've got to give them more time Theta," I cried. I looked around to see a small storage room to the left of us. "Get over there Theta!"

We made our way into the room and sat down, weary from the battle.

"You know we can't stay in here," I said, talking to him as a person, not as one of my men.

"I know sir, but look," and he pointed to ammo packs for blaster rifles.

"This must be our lucky day Theta," I said happily as we refilled our guns.

"Lead-89," came Core's voice over the radio. "We've found the droid controls and - hey, Com, watch out, watch! -" Core's voice was gone, and static replaced him.

"Core!" I called, but nothing responded. "Come on Theta, we've got to find them,"

"Let's go," Stalker said and we left the room. All the droids had left their hooks and were making their way up the stairs.

"Come on Theta, we can't fight them all," I said and we moved on swiftly. There were broken down droids along the way so we knew we were on the right track. We heard the sound of blasters and ran the rest of the way to what looked like a control room. Core was inside, shooting down the last of about 10 droids, with Com behind him, lying down.

"Theta," I said to Stalker, "get those droids offline," pointing to the computer. I rushed over to Com. "What's wrong with him?"

"He took a barrage of bullets sir, I don't think he'll make it," Core replied.

"He's still got vitals, Theta, revive him," I ordered.

"Droids offline sir!" Stalker said as he left the computer, and checked down the hall, as I followed. We heard a loud click behind us and saw Com getting up.

"Are you okay Theta?" I asked.

"Just a little wobbly sir, but I'm good to go," he answered.

We made our way back out of the building and Core planted explosives around the building.

"Let's get back and enjoy the fireworks," he said and laughed. We went back to the ship and saw the droid factory explode, and the rebel's chance in this battle fall.

"Commandos," said the Emperor's cracked voice down the radio.

"Yes, my lord?" I said, shocked that we were getting a call from him.

"A great fall has come down on the empire," he paused. "The death star has been destroyed by the rebels, and we think Lord Vader went with it,"

There was a long silence between us.

"My lord, what is to happen to us?" I asked.

"Make your way to the pick-up point south-west of your position. Today a great failure has come upon us, but the rebels shall feel the same as us, now that Yavin IV has been liberated,"
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Old 09-26-2006, 12:28 PM   #18
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Sorry for the inconvenience, but I'm going to start again at the request of everyone wanting longer chapters. Look for the new thread 'Imperial Commando: The Rebellion'.
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