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Old 08-29-2006, 03:29 AM   #41
JediKnight707
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It's here! The next chapter! This one is totally different than any I've read here, so trust me, this is different. I'd been milling around with this idea for awhile, and decided to finally take it! Hope you guys like it (and the chapter's really long, over 2000 words!):

Elliot immediately straightened up instinctively, a big mistake. Another blaster bolt flew past his head, inches away from him and his nose.
Elliot’s brain kicked in, and he hit the floor. Another blaster bolt flew threw the air.
Elliot looked around wildly, trying to see where it was coming from. He noticed a few holes in the door, and assumed that was where the shots were coming from. He crawled over to the door, and kicked it, closing it.
He stayed down for a few minutes, and no more shots came. Elliot started to rise tentatively, and had stood fully, when his body flew back down to the floor, without him controlling it. Three more blaster bolts ripped across the air a second later.
How did my body know when to duck? Elliot asked himself. And then he felt it. It was distant, but there. The Force.
He felt renewed with this knowledge, that the Force hadn’t abandoned him like he had originally thought. He felt more alive, yet so much calmer.
Elliot closed his eyes and slowly drew in breath. He tried to sense where the blaster bolts were coming from, but apparently, he wasn’t that in tune with the Force.
Elliot scanned the room, and found gold. The window had several nice little holes. He looked back at the door, momentarily forgetting that it was closed. He couldn’t close the curtains on the window, because there were no curtains. He looked around for something to use to shield him, yet found nothing. Even the tub didn’t have a shower curtain—the only visitors he had were women, and by the time he used the shower, they’d already seen him naked.
Elliot pondered the dilemma. There was no way he could open the door without being seen, so basically, there was no escape.
He lay there, prone on the cold generic tile ground, wondering how to get out of his particular predicament for several minutes, until the answer came to him.
He positioned himself several feet from the window, and waited for the right moment. He stood up, and before the mystery shooter could react, ran quickly, and jumped out the window. Even though he lived in the slums, he was still hundreds of stories above the ground of Coruscant. He tried to grab onto one of the passing speeders, but always seemed to be just out of reach.
Yet, several hundred meters below him, there seemed to be a speeder, with its top down, hovering where he was eventually going to go. Elliot didn’t need the Force to know that that was bad. It could be someone just trying to help out, but it didn’t appear so.
Well, whether or not I want to get in this speeder is a moot point, I’m going to land in it anyway, he thought.
He readjusted his position in air for a more comfortable landing. Though he had no reason to distrust the person driving the speeder, Elliot felt a strange aura coming from him. It wasn’t so much the Force, more of common sense. The person driving the speeder appeared to be hooded, and dressed in all black. When Elliot squinted his eyes, he could barely make out hands on the steering wheel. But these were no normal hands; they were mangled, wrinkled, and a finger was missing on his right hand, two on his left.
When he got within fifty meters of the speeder, it slowly started descending, trying to make the landing more comfortable, so it seemed.
Eventually, Elliot felt a soft bump, and he was on the seat—which he noticed was crude polyester, old looking—and immediately there was a whirring overhead, as the top flew over his head.
Elliot turned to face his ‘saver’ and said, “Thanks. I’m Ell—”
“Iot,” the man finished for him. “Sixteen years old. Former Jedi, been living on Coruscant for approximetly five years. Former Master, Olivia. Lived in Tatooine for a year. Friends with a girl a year younger than you, named Alex. She was killed by stormtroopers, who were formerly referred to as Clone Troopers at that time.” The speeder descended lower, though Elliot was hardly paying attention to where they were going. His eyes were totally focused on this…man. The man’s face never turned, he just kept his eyes on the road—or so it appeared to Elliot.
“Wh—who—who the hell are you?” Elliot asked in a terrified, high-pitched voice. His heart was beating fast, yet, despite the added blood, Elliot’s face was pale.
“I have been called too many names.” The voice was sinister, calm, but sinister. Elliot blinked rapidly in succession.
“Ho—how do you know all that about me?” he asked, in that same, terrified high-pitched voice.
“If I wanted to, I could know everything about anything. Some may say that’s too much to know, but others would say that’s too little.”
“Are—are you going to kill me?”
“No. But you may kill yourself.”
“Why would I do that?”
“Because when you realize what I do to you, whenever it is that you finally awake, you may never want to live.” Then, without warning, his mangled right hand flew from the steering wheel and struck Elliot in his temple.
Elliot blacked out instantly.

Elliot’s eyes fluttered open, and he noticed a woman standing over him. He blinked several times, before a wave of pain crashed through him. He let out a scream, as pain shot threw him. It seemed his body was on fire, and he could do nothing to stop it. His heart, his veins, his arteries, his very blood seemed to be on fire. He closed his eyes, trying to fight the tears of pain. He screamed once more, before he felt something cold and hard being pushed into his neck. He knew no more…

Elliot slowly opened his eyes, and he prepared himself for a burst of pain, yet none came. Relieved, he opened his eyes fuller, and allowed them to search his surroundings. From what he could see, he appeared to be in a bed, a blanket over him, in someone’s house. There was a light focused on him, especially his face/neck.
He tried to move his arm, but pain shot up immediately following. He groaned, and stopped trying to move his limb. He heard some feet shuffling, and a few seconds later, there was a woman hovering over him.
His first impression was that she was approximately his age, give or take a few years. She was pretty, with long blond hair, and gray eyes.
“Wh-who are you?” he asked, his voice raspy and weak. His throat was very dry, and it hurt to talk.
She smiled at him, and despite his condition, Elliot had to admit that she was very pretty when she smiled. “M’name’s Emma. Pleasure to meet you…?”
“Elliot. Where am I?”
“You’re about ten stories above the worst part of Coruscant. I happened to find you on the ground—yes, the real ground of Coruscant—and you screamed when I tried to rise you. You were starting to bleed, so I took you back here. You started talking gibberish a few times, something about a man in a hood and what he was going to do to you.
“You’ve got a wound in your neck that won’t heal all too well, and it starts bleeding on and off.” She looked down, and her voice changed, to a tone that sounded…sadder. “I think I know what it is that you’ve got.”
“What is it?” Elliot asked, his tone worried over hers.
“I-I…W-well…” She sighed. “Let’s go to get something to eat. You must be hungry.”
“I-it hurts if I move.”
“I’ll give you an anesthetic. My parents were doctors, so I’m an assistant to them. I’ve got plenty of medical supplies here. I think it’s best if I told you what I’m going to tell you over a meal.”
“I’m not going to take morphine or any type of painkiller. I knew people who were addicted to that crap, and I don’t want that to happen to me. I’ll get up on my own.”
With that, he tried to move his legs. Pain shot up his body, but he grimaced, and continued his movements.
After a few moments of this continuance of pain, once he got out of bed, the pain stopped immediately.
He blinked a few times, obviously confused about this. But, he stood up and stretched regardless.
“Wow, it’s like that bed was cursed or something.” He looked at Emma smiling, but she didn’t smile back.
Elliot furrowed his eyebrows, worried. “Something the matter?”
“No. If you want, you can borrow some old clothes from my brother, who used to live here. His clothes our in the hall closet.” She pointed the way, and Elliot opened the closet.
He chose to wear a cloak, and he walked to the front door. He turned the handle, but Emma told him to stop. “Put on the hood,” she instructed, “and look down.
“Okay…” He put up the hood, and stepped out into the sunlight. He kept his head down like she instructed, and Emma led the way. She flagged down a taxi, and they stepped inside.
“Mimi’s Café please,” she told the driver.
“That will cost you one hundred and twenty credits,” replied the robotic driver.
Emma handed over the credits, and the cab flew off.
Several minutes later, they arrived at the café and Elliot once again kept his head down as he stepped outside into the sunlight.
The café was a little rundown, but was lit well enough, and there seemed to be a happy atmosphere in the air. They sat down at a table, and a minute or so later, a robot came over for their order.
Emma ordered a coffee and a slice of pie, but Elliot started to feel ill at the sound of food. He didn’t order anything.
“So, what is it that you were going to tell me?” Elliot asked.
Emma shifted her position in her seat, looked at her thumbs, and shifted her position. “I think you’ve com—” She was interrupted by the waiter coming with her food.
Emma seemed much relieved at the break, and immediately started munching on her food. Elliot stared at her eating her food, and every time he saw a piece of apple pie go into her mouth, he felt more and more nauseous. He closed his eyes, and excused himself to the bathroom.
He stumbled into the bathroom, staggering, feeling dizzy. He opened the door to one of the stalls, and he got on his knees, feeling like he was going to throw up. He closed his eyes again, and tried to control his stomach. He still felt dizzy but not so nauseous, and he got back on his feet. He opened his eyes, and walked to the sink to wash his face. He turned on the faucet, and looked at himself in the mirror. Man, I look like hell, he thought.
He glanced down at the water, and opened his eyes, horrified. There wasn’t water coming out of the faucet, it was blood.
He quickly turned on all the faucets, and they all had the same thing coming out of them…blood.
He stumbled back into a stall, and bumped into the toilet. He looked down at the toilet, and saw blood in there as well.
He flew out of the stall, and started to feel dizzy and nauseous once more. He looked at himself in the mirror, and at first glance he thought he was melting. But when he looked at himself closer, he saw that blood was leaking out of his pores.
He fell to his knees, and could fell bile rising in his throat. He couldn’t hold it back and threw up on the floor.
His last thought before he blacked was his face flying to his own throw up…blood.

Elliot awoke in the same bed that he had when he had blacked out on the ground of Coruscant. He shifted his head and saw Emma, her head facing down, and a line of drool flowing down onto her pants.
Elliot first reaction was that she was head, but then he saw that she was breathing in and out deeply. She had fallen asleep watching him.
“Emma,” he croaked, his throat horribly dry. “Emma, wake up.” She continued to sleep. “Emma!” he said, as loud as he could—which was hardly above normal speaking levels, as he felt terribly weak—and she awoke with a start. She blinked several times, trying to clear the fuzziness, and looked at Elliot.
“You’re awake,” she said, smilingly slightly.
“I don’t want any bull**** this time. What the hell is wrong with me?”
Her face grew dark, as did her voice when she spoke. “I don’t know how to make this any easier for you, so I’ll just say it outright. You’re a Vampyre.”

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Old 08-29-2006, 06:46 AM   #42
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OK, now that WAS a different chapter. And you've made my liking to the story even more better ... I LOVE VAMPIRES!!!! hahaha, great twist, its got me wondering whats he going to do.

All up, a very, very very great addition to the story

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Old 08-29-2006, 01:27 PM   #43
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You know, it never occured to me that there'd be vampires in the SW universe, but have fun with it.
I caught some grammar things, no big deal.

It'll be interesting to see where you take this story next.


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Old 08-29-2006, 07:29 PM   #44
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jae Onasi
You know, it never occured to me that there'd be vampires in the SW universe, but have fun with it.
I caught some grammar things, no big deal.

It'll be interesting to see where you take this story next.
There probably aren't, but you said you created tests for a more futuristic feel; I created a new species! Hehe! Plus, I always wanted a story with vampires
I'm hoping that this story turns out the way I want it, but stories tend to have a mind of there own...maybe that'll be a good idea for a story...

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Old 08-29-2006, 08:48 PM   #45
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yes very different humm but passes as a VERY good CHAPTER

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Old 08-31-2006, 12:59 AM   #46
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You guys think it was bloody enough at the end? I don't. I'm probably not going to post another chapter for about two weeks. At least. School has been keeping me terribly busy, and I've only been going to high school for like 3 days. But, my schedule has been...unpredictable, so I never know when I'll get a few hours. So, for all I know, the next chapter could come tomorrow, but in all reality, it will probably come in about 2-3 weeks

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Old 08-31-2006, 02:26 PM   #47
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Lucky for me, because I don't start School again, until the 6th September. I'll start my second year in High School. Anyway, down to business. Good Chapter and one of your longest.

@ Jae Onasi: I believe I saw somewhere that there is such a thing as a Force Vampire. There was a Thread where someone asked if Nihilus was one.

Looking foward to more Chapters Jedi_Knight.
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Old 09-01-2006, 12:29 AM   #48
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ITs interesting, I like it though. Keep it up.


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Old 09-01-2006, 12:24 PM   #49
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awesome, JK! it sucks bad that obi died, tho


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Old 09-07-2006, 02:17 AM   #50
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Guys, I know that you're going to hate me, but I just now started writing the next chapter! Ahhhh! I'm not sure when it'll be up 'cause I never like to set deadlines for myself (though, I always seem to) and becuase, I have no idea! I was suffering a case of writer's block, but finally pushed through it

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Old 09-08-2006, 07:50 AM   #51
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Aww, i seen you were the last post and i was like. YES, NEW CHAPTER!!!! , but .. no ... Oh well ... yes, i know all too well about writers block, bloody hate it. Anyway .. do hope the next chapter is posted soon

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Old 10-07-2006, 03:02 AM   #52
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Holy moly, it's been a month since I last updated!!

I mean, wow. I took a really, really long break, as school was--still is, really--taking up a LOT of time. This chapter is pretty long, but it doesn't really move the plot forward. It's kind of a filler chapter Sowwy...but, I really am running low on ideas, but I've got one that's pretty good, but its going to take a while for me to set it up. So, just bear with me

Elliot stared at her with a look of disbelief. Despite the tension, he chuckled. “I thought I said no bull. I can’t be a vampyre. Such things don’t exist.
He laughed again. “You almost had me going there.”
Emma looked at her hands. She didn’t say anything, only shook her head. Then, she got up, walked to a mini-fridge that she had near the bed, and pulled something out. She sat back down in her seat, and carefully concealed what she had pulled out.
“What did you get?” Elliot asked.
“This,” she said, and she pulled it out.
To the normal eye, it would have looked like a simple packet of blood, something that any soon-to-be doctor would have laying around, but for Elliot it was something totally different. It was the Holy Grail, the cure for all of the galaxy’s diseases; it was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.
Instinct overtook his body and he, despite the huge pain shooting through his body, he desperately tried to reach for it.
He would have given anything, anything, to feel the salt of the blood on his lips.
Emma took the bag of blood away from Elliot’s eyes. Elliot’s hunger seemed to cease immediately. “See,” Emma said.
Elliot closed his eyes. He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Oh, well,” he said after a minute or so, and shrugged.
Emma looked at him, somewhat shocked. “That’s all you have to say?! ‘Oh, well’?!”
Elliot looked at her quizzically. “Well, yeah. What should I do?”
“I don’t know,” she said sarcastically, “maybe, PANIC!”
“Why would I do that?”
“What do you mean, ‘Why would I do that’?! You just found out that you’re entire life is probably going to be turned upside down. You can’t be outside in the sun, you have to drink blood, I mean…you’re a completely different person.”
Elliot got up from the bed and stretched, yawning. “What’s your point?”
Emma continued to look at him with shocked eyes. She expected tears, anger, anything! But, not total indifference. “You’re a vampy—”
“Let me stop you right there. I am a vampyre, or at least everything points to that. But, assuming I am a vampyre, then there’s nothing I can do to change that. So, I can either sit here and cry my eyes out about it, or I can simply accept it. I choose to accept it. Crying and being upset has never once gotten me anywhere. Now, may I please have that blood, as I’m awfully thirsty.”
Still looking at with a somewhat shocked emotion, she handed over the bag of blood.
He took it, this time seeming to have a little more control over his body. He took a deep breath and ripped open the package of blood.
He sighed and lifted the bag slowly to his mouth.
Emma watched a drop grow pregnant on the rim of the bag, then fall down onto Elliot’s open mouth. Elliot closed his mouth, and swallowed. He closed his eyes, and let the taste sink in for a few seconds.
Then, he opened his mouth, and hungrily pored some more in his mouth. After getting a substantial mouthful, he swished it around in his mouth, and then swallowed.
He set the bag down, and took a deep breath. Then he rushed into the restroom and threw up.

Over the next few days, Elliot would drink a little blood with each meal. It still made him nauseous, but after each gulp he felt more alive than anything. He could almost identify the person whose blood he was drinking from. He knew that blood had the most midichlorian count that anything, so he assumed it was because he was getting more Force potential than he was born with, and also that, with vampyrism came great power. He could feel his teeth sharpening. He could feel his body growing stronger.
He had decided to research the topic a little more, and so he decided to go to the library. Whenever he decided to venture outside, he had to completely cover his entire body in clothes. He still got sunburned if he remained in the sunlight, even though his body was entirely covered in clothes, for too long.
At the library, he was looking for texts on vampyres. Most were fake (one said, Vampyres need over a gallon of blood a day to survive!) or were kids books (Vincent Vampyre stalked the scoundrels).
But, Elliot found a discovery. There was an extremely old looking datapad, and he turned it on. It explained that only about a pint of blood was needed every week to sustain him, and that some animal blood was okay to use.
There was such a thing as half-vampyres, in which the specimen was only blooded a little—Elliot assumed he was a full vampyre.
Although it provided some answers, Elliot didn’t know everything. He sighed and leaned back in his chair, closing his exhausted eyes.
He knew where he had to go.
He knew that there was only on place in which there was infinite knowledge.
The Jedi Archives.

Emma had already started to make dinner when Elliot got home. Elliot’s nose picked up the scent from behind the door. He walked in, and took a giant sniff. “What’s cooking?” he asked.
“It’s a surprise,” Emma said.
Elliot never liked surprises, and they seemed to be getting less and less “surprising” and more and more “Oh my goodness, my life is right down the drain.”
Elliot decided to take a shower, and when he emerged into the kitchen thirty or so minutes later, he saw that dinner was ready.
He squinted his eyes, before he recognized what it was: a pork roast. He raised an eyebrow. “Is that pork?” he asked.
“Yes, want some?” she replied.
“No, I don’t eat pork.”
“Why? Religion?”
“No, I just don’t dig on swine that’s all.”
“Why not?”
“Pigs are filthy animals. I don’t eat filthy animals.”
“Yeah, but pork chops taste good, bacon tastes good…”
“Well, sewer rat may taste like pumpkin pie, but I’d never know ‘cause I wouldn’t eat the filthy thing.”
Emma chuckled. “Point taken. Dig some leftovers from the fridge.”
“Emma?”
“Yeah?”
“Haven’t you ever wondered about my past? I mean, if I ever found someone on the bottom level of Coruscant, about my age, I’d ask where the hell they lived, why they got there, but, most importantly, how they became a vampyre!”
“Hmmm,” Emma said thoughtfully, “I just always thought that you were on your own, and that when the time came, if there was anything to tell, you’d say it.”
“Well, do you want to hear it now?”
“Sure,” she said smiling.
“Okay,” Elliot said, sighing. He ran his fingers threw his hair. “I suppose this starts at the very beginning, since before I can remember.
“As a child, when I was about four, I was abducted. I was taken forcefully from my home, and I can’t remember what my mother was like.” Emma’s eyebrows flew upward, and were lost in her bangs, but she remained quiet.
“You see, I was—am? I don’t know—a Jedi.”
Emma eyes opened wide. Her mouth hung open. She had never, in all her sixteen years of existence, thought she’d ever meet a real Jedi. But, Emma came back to her senses. He was bluffing. “Prove it. Do something that only a Jedi could do. Where’s your lightsaber? I searched you when I found you on the ground. You had nothing but some measly credits.”
“I destroyed my lightsaber. Easier to remain inconspicuous without it. As for doing something only a Jedi could?” He thought about it carefully. “I can’t read your mind per se, but I can, more or less, grasp what you’re thinking at times. But, anyone can do that right now, judging from the look in your face.” He sighed loudly.
“Fine, I can settle for a ‘cheap trick.’” He concentrated, and picked up a piece of bread on Emma’s plate. He made it do circles around her head, before having it fly at him. He caught it, and ate it.

After Emma recovered, Elliot told her about his life on Tatooine, what it was like speeder racing, and how he assumed he ended up being a vampyre.
Once he finished his tale, Elliot looked at Emma. She appeared to have taken the story relatively well, considering that fact that Elliot was technically a wanted criminal, waiting to be executed.
“Why…why are you here? I mean, this is the Emperor’s home planet. You’ve fallen for his trap, hook, line, and sinker, yet you knew about that trap, so…I don’t know what’s wrong with you,” she said.
“Well, I figured he wouldn’t expect anyone to come here. ‘The hardest ones to see are the ones right under your nose.’ That was a favorite saying of my old Master. Plus, I need access to the Jedi Archives.”
She shook her head. “The Jedi Temple was ransacked. Everything was destroyed, and the only things left were looted. The place is under security. I doubt that you could even get inside, and even if you did, you probably wouldn’t find anything there.”
Elliot laughed. “The Jedi Temple may have been torn up, but not the Archives. No one, and I mean no one, could ever get into the Archives unless they were a Master. Many have tried, not one has ever succeeded.
“As for the security, that’s easy. They don’t expect a Jedi, nor do they suspect anyone, for that matter, to get in. So, while the outside security may be great, the inside will likely be sub par, probably non-existent. I bet you I can get in.” He smiled.
Despite herself, Emma smiled as well. “Hey, don’t take my word for it, go right ahead. Why don’t you do it tonight?”
“I think I will. I’ll make you a bet. I can get in tonight, and be out by dawn, without anyone seeing me.”
“Well, how will I know that you actually got in without anyone seeing you? Or even getting in?”
“I’ll come back with a datapad that could only come from the Archives.”
Emma’s smile widened. “Alright, I’ll take that bet. How much?”
“Oh, no. This bet is too daring to be on money. If I get in, you have to give me a kiss!”
Emma chuckled. “Alright, a kiss it is.”
Elliot rubbed his hands together. “Excellent! I’m going to take a nap, wake me at like 9:30, please.”
Elliot flung himself on his bed. He giggled. In less than twelve hours he was going to break into the Jedi Archives and even get a kiss. Life sure was swell for him. But, life was going to get much, much worse for him.

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Old 10-07-2006, 06:14 AM   #53
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About time too. I'm looking foward to the next Chapter too. Good Chapter all the same.
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Old 10-08-2006, 05:21 PM   #54
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good chap JK

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Old 10-09-2006, 01:47 PM   #55
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terrifically disgusting
j/k it was very good. there were the occasional grammar errors, but i'll leave those to the troll


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Old 10-15-2006, 12:50 AM   #56
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Well, you see, the problem with the grammar thing is this: my computer, I noticed recently, is acting up pretty bad. No matter what I type, it doesn't catch any spelling or grammar errors. So, sorry for that. I think my brother put some virus in it, because recently, when I try to open MWord, it says that theres some sort of error, and nothing happens.

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Old 10-15-2006, 09:52 AM   #57
Diego Varen
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jedi_Knight_707
Well, you see, the problem with the grammar thing is this: my computer, I noticed recently, is acting up pretty bad. No matter what I type, it doesn't catch any spelling or grammar errors. So, sorry for that. I think my brother put some virus in it, because recently, when I try to open MWord, it says that theres some sort of error, and nothing happens.
Sometimes my Word doesn't catch any errors either. It could be a glitch. I hope it sorts itself out J_K_707.
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Old 10-15-2006, 05:08 PM   #58
JediKnight707
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Well, it seems to be catching the mistakes, but it doesn't put the red thingy underneath. *sigh* damn computer...

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Old 11-30-2006, 08:43 PM   #59
JediKnight707
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I know that you guys may have thought that I gave up on this story, but fear not, I have not (is that proper English?).
But a few things have been holding me back: a) Writer's Block. HUGE BLOCK! b) Time. I have next to none. I've been on the computer for like 2 hours combined in the past 3-4 weeks. c) I have no energy! Freshman year = sucky. Homework + soccer + arguements with my mother = no time.
So, I've been working on it little by little, and the new chapter shall be posted... somewhat soon. I don't want to set myself a deadline, 'cause what if it passes!
Just to reassure you, I have not forgotten about this story, just have no ideas.


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