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Old 01-20-2007, 02:44 PM   #1
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[FIC][AU]Star Wars: The Jedi Purge's Failure



PROLOGUE


The attempt to exterminate the Jedi led by Emperor Palpatine and Anakin Skywalker was at hand. It was abnormal that such an attempt would be made, but it happened. One Jedi Sniper, Von Made, was the first one to see Anakin Skywalker march up the stairs of the jedi temple. With the legendary 501st following him.

Von made ran to the Jed Council room to warn Jedi Master Windu and the other members of the Jedi Council. Meanwhile Anakin Skywalker continues to fulfill his mission.


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Old 01-20-2007, 02:45 PM   #2
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Chapter 1: The Shock

Von Made ran into the High Council Room. He was disappointed to see only Jedi Master Coleman Kcaj there.

“Master Kcaj,” Von said. “Anakin Skywalker and a legion of clones are invading the Temple.”

“This is unexpected but I sense it is true,” Coleman said surprised. “We must try to repel the attack force.”

Von nodded and wondered why Master Kcaj’s species were normally adept. Then he shook the thought out of his head and followed Coleman out the door.

As they reached the entrance to the temple they were shocked at what they saw. Pillars were blown down with clones everywhere.

Coleman looked at Von, “Von you need to secure the library help the jedi there. I will secure the Training room to protect the young ones.”

“Yes master,” Von said. Then he ran off to the library.

As he entered the library he annoyed the dead bodies of fellow jedi around him and started to clear out clones. He then saw Jocasta Nu, the temple’s librarian. He ran over to her.

“Von, why are you here.” She asked.

“Master Coleman told me to secure the library.”

Von saw Jocasta start to respond when an explosion shook the bookcases behind them. Von turned his long dark hair swinging as he did. He saw Anakin Skywalker walking up behind them. Jocasta and Von activated their lightsabers.

Anakin laughed at there attempt to worry him. “You jedi are weak,” he said finally.

“Believe what you wish, Skywalker,” Von sneered.

“I am no longer Skywalker,” Anakin told them. “But Darth Vader.”

“So you have turned to the dark side, for what reason?” Jocasta asked him.

“To bring real peace to the galaxy, through the galactic empire,” Vader told her.

“Then you really have fallen,” Von said.

“No, I have risen not fallen.”

“W-What do you mean?” Von asked.

“The jedi are evil, not the sith, they have all ready fallen, but I have risen,” Vader told him. “Join me and you will rise also.”

“Never” Von shouted.

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Old 01-20-2007, 02:45 PM   #3
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Well I am looking forward to more of it! Nice start...

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Old 01-20-2007, 04:34 PM   #4
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Well I am looking forward to more of it! Nice start...
Agreed. I'm guessing I'm going to have to find out how the alternate universe will happen in this Fic. I'm looking foward to more and could this be a single story, or will it be another uncompleted Saga?
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Old 01-20-2007, 05:27 PM   #5
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it will not be uncompleted either will the other one. maybe a single story, maybe a duology.

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Old 01-20-2007, 05:32 PM   #6
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God!!!! Failure of 501st would be a good twist in the Universe. Still looking forward to more!




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Old 01-21-2007, 02:48 PM   #7
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Chapter 2: The Duel

Von hit Anakin’s saber then quickly flipped back onto a ledge.

“You’re a coward,” Anakin sneered.

“No, I have a special rank one that you’ve probably never heard of.” Von said.

“What?” Anakin asked.

“A jedi sniper,” Jocasta Nu interfered.

“What do they do?” Anakin asked.

“This,” Von told him as he threw his lightsaber. Sadly it missed only cutting a small part of Vader’s torso. Vader grimaced but jumped after Von as though nothing happened. Von parried to the side, then threw his saber to Jocasta. She took it then ignited hers a second later.

As Jocasta fought Vader, Von grabbed his comlink. As quickly as he could he contacted the Jedi Brutes.

“Yes?” A jedi brute, Wom Farn, answered.

“This is Von Made, a jedi sniper; an invasion is taking place,”

“By who, the Separatists?” Won asked.

“No, a jedi council member, named Anakin Skywalker. And a lot of clones he brought along.”

“Where is he?”

“The library, get down here,”

“Right away,” The brute switched off his comlink.

Von turned back to the fight and signaled to Jocasta. She nodded and tossed him his lightsaber. Von took it but nearly dropped it. It was covered in sweat. Von grimaced but jumped over Vader swinging his lightsaber in a long arc, slashing his shoulder. Vader let out a small yelp but quickly recovered. Then the brute came in, the door shattered as though it was a toothpick in the way. Vader stared at him. Von smiled at the brute’s dramatic entrance. With Wom on there side this should be easy. Sadly Von’s good mood ended a few seconds later. An explosion went off from a hidden detpack beside Wom killing him. Von and Jocasta would have to do this themselves.

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Old 01-21-2007, 03:07 PM   #8
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nice chapter there well done!

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Old 01-21-2007, 05:50 PM   #9
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Well, this ain't half bad. Quite good to see an Ep III Game-based Fic though. Keep it up Saruman, this thing's promising.
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Old 01-21-2007, 07:40 PM   #10
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Woot!!! Like Jason said, this is promising. Keep up, and I don't know if Shaak Ti will fight Anakin?




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Old 01-22-2007, 05:26 PM   #11
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Chapter 3: The 3 Losers


Vader turned back to Von and Jocasta; his eyes were now bloodshot red. Von Made stood ready to block any attack thrown at him by Vader. But it turned out Vader was not going to attack him. Vader then summand the power of the force to pushed Jocasta across the room, slamming her body against the wall. Von stared at Jocasta’s crippled body in fury. He used the force to summon her lightsaber to his hand. Then he turned to Vader.

Von pulled his arms back- preparing for his attack – and the sabers fly out of his hands.
Vader grinned as he used the force to pull Jocasta’s unconscious body to him. The sabers then stabbed into her body killing her. As unlucky as Von already was, by the time Vader let go of Jocasta’s body, Coleman Kcaj came into the library.

“Von, what have you done?” He said in horror.

“I-” Von started in protest.

Coleman moved his attention to Vader.

“You have lost, Skywalker,” Coleman told him. “All of your troops have been dealt with. You are the last invader.”

Vader nodded. “But we will return, Coleman Kcaj, we will return,” With that there was a blur and Vader was gone.

“Now, Von the Remaining Council Members shall see you soon.” Then Coleman turned to a jedi knight behind him. “You, please send a message to all jedi and tell them to return to the temple. Without using there Jedi Starfighter, it’s too dangerous.”

“Yes Master Kcaj.” Then the knight ran off.

2 days later:

“What happened in that Library, Von?” The jedi council member, Plo Koon asked.

“I cleared the clones out of the room, and then I started talking to Jocasta.” Von told them. “Then Vader came in…” The story continued till Stass Allie interrupted.

“Vader pushed her against the wall?” Stass asked him.

“Yes.”

“Then what did you do?”

“I got angry and pulled Jocasta’s lightsaber to me, and then I threw them. Vader simply slowed them and pulled Jocasta’s body to him letting the saber go through her. Next, Coleman came in.”

“Attacked through anger you say.” Yoda repeated calmly.

Von sighed. “Yes,”

“Then exiled you should be,” Yoda pointed out.

Obi-Wan looked at Master Yoda in shock. “In my respect Master, Did he not save the temple?”

“That he did.” Yoda said nodding.

“Then why exile him?” Obi-Wan asked.

“Need him no longer do we,”

“Then,” Obi-Wan hesitated. “I will take him as my new padawan learner.”

Von stared at him in surprise. He had never had a master due to his great skill in throwing a lightsaber he had immediately become a sniper though he did not have much knowledge in the force.

Yoda seemed surprised to. “Agree I do not in this; make it a vote we shall.”

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Old 01-22-2007, 05:32 PM   #12
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Well, cool chapter, i just think that exiling Von is a little too extreme? Keep it up though. Watch spelling and grammar errors, summand and to pushed are some.
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Old 01-22-2007, 05:49 PM   #13
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Well, Yoda is worried of Von joining Vader. But thanks for reading it.

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Old 01-23-2007, 01:18 AM   #14
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Good Chapter and it's nice to see that Plo Koon survived, instead of crashing to his death. Like Jason said, some spelling errors, like there, when it should be their. When it belongs to someone or something, (Example: Yoda), you have their Lightsaber. Anyway, I'm looking foward to more. How long do you think this Fic will be?
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Old 01-23-2007, 09:29 PM   #15
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@Pottsie: i haven't decided yet. This is my favorite fic i've done so far so...i just don't know.

@ALL:

Chapter 4: The Results

Plo Koon finished tallying the votes then looked up at the rest of the council.

“The Results of the vote are…” Plo told them. “That Von is to be assigned to Master Kenobi as a padawan learner.

Von stared at Master Koon in amazement. Obi-Wan who was standing beside him, bowed. “I respect the vote and still stand by my devotion. Von is my new padawan learner.”

Yoda nodded. “Dismissed you may now be, Master Kenobi.”

Obi-Wan nodded and left with Von following him.

“Why did you do that?” Von asked him in wonder.

“Many reasons, one is that I like you and believe you should be better trained. Two, Vader will come after both of us, its best to be together. And three because I knew your father.”

“You knew my…?” Von started to ask.

Then Obi-Wan’s comlink link beeped, he pulled it off his belt.

“Jedi Master Kenobi, this is Captain Typho, I need you in Padme’s office right away.”

“I’ll be there as soon as I can,” Obi-Wan replied. Then he turned to Von. “Come with me, we need to find out what this is about.”

1 day later

“What did you learn form your visit to Senator Amidala’s apartment? Who was her Child’s father?” Plo Koon asked Obi-Wan.

“It turns out I figured out why Anakin turned to the dark side.” Obi-Wan stated.

Yoda and the rest of the council all looked surprised.

“Shortly after the battle of Geonosis it turns out she married Anakin, but kept it secret,”

“This is shocking, but it seems likely,” Master Ki-Adi-Mundi stated.

“The children trained they should be.” Yoda volunteered
“I’m not sure if Amidala would agree,” Master Koon replied.

“Has she learned of Anakin’s fate?” Stass Allie asked.

“No, she hasn’t we will tell her soon though once her children get a little order,” Obi-Wan told Master Allie.

“Think I do that-,” Suddenly a snap-hiss was heard outside the door. The door fell and two figures walked in. They were completely covered in dark robes red sabers in hands. One of the figures reached up and pulled off his hood. Von saw the face of Anakin Skywalker, or “Darth Vader.”

“Anakin,” Obi-Wan said in surprise. “You’ve returned so early?”

Vader ignored him. “Where is Padme? He asked in a threatening voice

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Old 01-23-2007, 10:01 PM   #16
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Wow! A good twist, Darth Saruman. Can Anakin defeat all Jedi Masters?

And by "Stass Allie", I think you mean her "Adi Gallia".




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Old 01-24-2007, 08:30 AM   #17
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Cool chapter, Anakin is really bold, but i believe he has the Emperor with him. Also, it IS Stass Allie, Adi Gallia was killed by Grievous on Boz Pity previous to Ep III.
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Old 01-25-2007, 01:46 AM   #18
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Will Anakin try to kill all the Jedi? I'm looking foward to finding out.
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Old 01-26-2007, 09:19 PM   #19
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Chapter 5: The Council Duel

“Where is Padme?” Vader asked again.

Still there was no answer. “Very well,” Vader said.

He twisted his lightsaber up at Von Made only for it to be blocked by Obi-Wan. There was a pause.

Then Yoda looked at the other figure and asked, “Sidious are you?”

The figure pulled back his hood showing a strange version of Supreme Chancellor Palpatine. Yoda stared at him in surprise.

Palpatine nodded. “Yes, I am Sidious under your nose the whole time.

Other Jedi Members activated there sabers, though Stass Allie still hadn’t ignited hers. Then Vader twisted back and punched Obi-Wan in the stomach, making him fall. Ki-Adi-Mundi pushed Vader with the force making him stumble, distracting him as Obi-Wan leapt back up. Sidious entered the fight as he threw up his lightsaber. He jumped up and grabbed it landing behind all the jedi. Sidious jerked back his lightsaber stabbing it into Shaak Ti’s back.

Sidious laughed. “One down,” he said out loud.

Von felt anger grip his mind as he saw Master Ti’s body. Then he shoved it off, jedi do not get angry he thought. Then he saw Sidious nod to Vader. Von felt Vader summon the force and turn to Master Allie.

“Watch out,” Von yelled at Allie. But it was too late, the force was unleashed from Vader pushing Allie out of one of the windows and sending her to her death. Von heard Sidious mutter “That’s two.” Now Coleman had his saber ignited and was fighting Darth Sidious. Obi-Wan was fighting Vader along with Yoda, Ki-Adi-Mundi, and Plo Koon. Von ran over to Sidious and started to help Mater Kcaj. Vader reached out to the force again and pulled Von to the ground, still fighting the other jedi. Von watched the fight between Kcaj and Sidious hopelessly as Kcaj was slowly losing. Then Sidious beheaded Master Kcaj as he was moving in for attack.

Von stared in horror as Coleman Kcaj was beheaded. Von leapt up and started fighting Sidious, anger running through his mind. Obi-Wan nudged him with the force and Von let the anger go away. It had almost triumphed. But he had to do it, his saber moved slowly to him as it stabbed Sidious in the heart. Von pulled it out letting the body fall to the ground. All of that seemed slow, then it speed up. Vader kicked Obi-Wan in the shin making him fall. He slashed Master Mundi’s leg making him join Obi-Wan on the ground. Seconds later Master Koon joined them both. Then Vader pushed Von out of the council. Von flew through the window and started to fall.

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Old 01-26-2007, 10:02 PM   #20
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Interesting fiction, Saruman. But there were some things I didn't like:

1. Yoda exiling Von: doesn't this seem a little harsh for Yoda to do? Even in fear of him turning to the dark side, the future is never set.

2. How the Jedi reacted calmly after Vader attacked the temple.

But besides that it is really good. Also, I like how each chapter is shorter than usual, it makes the story easier to read. Nice job, keep it up.


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Old 01-27-2007, 01:21 AM   #21
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Another good Chapter, but wasn't Sidious killed a bit easily? I mean, wouldn't he be killing several more Jedi or planning something before his death? It's your Fic, I'm just saying that Sidious' death was unexpected, which in a way, makes it good. Looking foward to more.
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Old 01-27-2007, 10:34 AM   #22
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Why do i get the feeling we're going to have a Deja Vu from your DY Fic?

Good chapter though.
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Old 01-27-2007, 04:18 PM   #23
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spoiler:

These are possiblely the new Jedi Council Members:
Kai Hudorra
Cin Drallig
Quinlan Vos
Voolvif Monn
Tholme
Roan Shryne
Fy-Tor-Ana
Garen Muln

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Old 01-27-2007, 04:21 PM   #24
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Other than Cin Drallig and Quinlan Vos, I've never heard of any of them Jedi (Either they're made up or in Wiki/Wookieepedia and never read about). I don't even know if I've spelt the two Jedi's names right, since I just copied them from your spoiler.
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Old 01-27-2007, 04:32 PM   #25
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i found them all off Wookiepedia 3 of them are from books the other comics I think...

spoiler:

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Old 01-27-2007, 05:09 PM   #26
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Chapter 6: The Dealings

Von fell through the air before he managed to grab on to a small ledge attached to the temple spire. He looked up to see Vader standing far above him, watching. Von summoned the force, as much as he could that was around him. Then he jumped. He jumped higher than Master Yoda ever had. He flew past Vader and threw his lightsaber at him. Vader caught the saber with the force and pulled it in to him. Von gulped, it didn’t look like he had much of a chance of living this battle. But suddenly Vader twitched dropping his saber. Von pulled it back to him and jumped again in the air landing back in the council room. He sighed in relief. Then he turned back facing Vader.

“Padme…” Vader moaned. Then he collapsed.

Yoda met Obi-Wan’s eye. “Wonder I do, what happened.”

“It seems, Vader felt his children’s force presence.” Obi-Wan told the old master.

“Strange this is, hidden they are. Have to be close they would be.”

Von interrupted. “Maybe they…left the hiding spot,”

“I agree with Von, they must have disobeyed us.” Ki-Adi-Mundi agreed.

“Enough of this for now, we have the council to deal with, many have died.” Plo Koon told them.

“Yes,” Master Yoda agreed. “Only 4 members left there are.”

“I have some Ideas,” Obi-Wan said.

2 hours later

Obi-Wan entered the room with jedi he had gathered for the candidates of the council. Yoda inspected them carefully. They were Kai Hudorra, Cin Drallig, Quinlan Vos, Voolvif Monn, Tholme, Roan Shryne, Fy-Tor-Ana, and Garen Muln. All Jedi Masters who had been important to the Clone Wars.

“Interesting Candidates brought us you have, Master Kenobi.” Yoda commented.

“Very interesting indeed,” Master Koon said eying Vos.

“Master Kenobi, dismiss them you may for us to decide.”

Obi-Wan bowed and turned to them.
“I know, I know, I heard them,” Quinlan Vos said turning before Obi-Wan could say anything. The others followed him out.

“Well?” Obi-Wan asked the council.

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Old 01-27-2007, 05:14 PM   #27
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Very short and seemed to be written in about five minutes. Still good Chapter though as always.
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Old 01-27-2007, 05:17 PM   #28
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Really it took about an hour to finish it because i had to find good jedi for the council.

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Old 01-27-2007, 05:20 PM   #29
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spoiler:
My Next planed short fic will be about Quinlan Vos, who is my favorite Jedi/Close Sith, character.

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Old 01-27-2007, 05:25 PM   #30
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Darth Saruman
Really it took about an hour to finish it because i had to find good jedi for the council.
Sorry, I didn't mean to be rude. It was just a bit short for me, but I sometimes prefer short Chapters to long ones. Looking foward to the next Shortie too.
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Old 01-27-2007, 05:29 PM   #31
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It wasn't rude to me, i'm about to work on the shortie now.

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Old 01-29-2007, 04:01 PM   #32
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Bad news. I on't be able to type for a while but i'll write the chapters and you'll get a lot at one time. sorry. But our computer broke down...im writing this on my friends computer.

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Old 01-29-2007, 05:59 PM   #33
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Well, good chapter, but i didn't get if Vader died or just got defeated.
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Old 02-01-2007, 11:32 AM   #34
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Vader collasped and did a force trick where he reappeared away from the temple. The jedi think he is dead and joined the force. The way he did the trick will be shown later.
Anyway: My computer's fixed. But i got loads of homework and still increasing it is. So chaps will come slowly.

Chapter 7: Council

“The members you picked are acceptable except one,” Plo Koon told Obi-Wan.

“One,” Obi-Wan asked.

“Quinlan Vos, picked him why did you?” Yoda asked him.

“He has been fighting the dark side too much, putting him on the council might sift him to our side for good,” Obi-Wan explained.

“Hmm,” Yoda said hesitating. “Summon him you may.”

Obi-Wan nodded and turned to Von. Von nodded, “As you wish master,” he said before Obi-Wan could say anything. Then he turned and left the room.

Von entered Master Vos’s room and looked around. Vos wasn’t there. Von looked around again suspiciously. Vos was known to take a certain datapad with him when he went offworld; if Von found it he could Master Vos. It wasn’t. He gulped and ran back to the council room.

“Master Vos isn’t there?” Obi-Wan repeated.

“Nope, and he took his offworld datapad with him,” Von confirmed.

“Unusual this is,” Yoda told them.

Quinlan Vos stood on board the bridge of the Assault Ship with the same question still stuck in his head, why had he turned?

Darth Vader stood in the old building across from the senate and the jedi temple. The area was known as “The Works.” It had played a major part in the Second Battle of Coruscant when Sidious’s secret was almost revealed. The area of the Works Vader was in was the only part not searched by Mace’s team of searchers.

“Vader, What are you doing destroy the jedi find a way to bring me back,” The Voice was around Vader. It was a voice Vader didn’t recognize.

“What who are you? How could you be talking to me?” Vader said out loud.

“I am Darth Plagueis, master of Darth Sidious. I have learned to talk through the Neither World of the Force.”

“What do you want with me?” Vader asked.
“I want you to hurry up and slaughter the jedi,” Plagueis sneered.

“First my new apprentice needs to be ready, and then I need my son and daughter to become old enough.”

“Do you think your wife will allow Luke and Leia join the sith? I mean think, she’s running from you.”

“That our there name? Interesting, and yes the will become Sith I will make sure of it.” Vader told him.

“Will you train them or Vos?” Plagueis asked.

“I have told you enough of my plan, be gone do not talk to me again.”

Plagueis felt Vader uncertainly of his last question. “I will go but I will return,” Plagueis said leaving.

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Old 02-01-2007, 12:09 PM   #35
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Another good Chapter, but a few spelling/grammar errors. Other than that, it is fine.
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Old 02-03-2007, 07:00 PM   #36
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Another good chapter, but I'm got confused...Well, nothing indicates Darth Plagueis is dead or what...Other than that, it's fine.




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Old 02-03-2007, 08:37 PM   #37
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well if it is in the nietherworld he has to be dead.

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Old 02-03-2007, 09:01 PM   #38
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Darth Saruman
“Unusual this is,” Yoda told them.

Quinlan Vos stood on board the bridge of the Assault Ship with the same question still stuck in his head, why had he turned?
In between the two of those sections, there should be a * * * centered, to indicate that it's two different sections of the story.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Darth Saruman
“Vader, What are you doing destroy the Jedi, find a way to bring me back,” The Voice was around Vader. It was a voice Vader didn’t recognize.

“What, who are you? How could you be talking to me?” Vader said out loud.

“I am Darth Plagueis, master of Darth Sidious. I have learned to talk through the Neather World of the Force.”

“What do you want with me?” Vader asked.
“I want you to hurry up and slaughter the Jedi,” Plagueis sneered.

“First my new apprentice needs to be ready, and then I need my son and daughter to become old enough.”

“Do you think your wife will allow Luke and Leia join the Sith? I mean think, she’s running from you.”

That's their names? Interesting, and yes they will become Sith, I will make sure of it.” Vader told him.

“Will you train them or Vos?” Plagueis asked.

“I have told you enough of my plan, be gone do not talk to me again.”

Plagueis felt Vader uncertainly of his last question. “I will go but I will return,” Plagueis said leaving.
I've made corrections in your fiction, read through your quote and watch out for the letters/words in bold. They are either fixed of spelling or grammar.

It seems that you've rushed this short, which isn't always the best thing to do. In my cases, I would always rough draft it, double check, and then have someone beta for a third check. And of course there probably are going to be 1 or 2 mistakes left, but not that much to notice.

I was also very confused on the different names of Vos and Von, I kind of got lossed at some places. But otherwise than that, and the spelling/grammar errors, it was good. Keep it up.



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Old 02-04-2007, 06:29 AM   #39
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I agree with Evan, there where some spelling or grammar errors, but it was good.

Also, Evan, how 'bout Those are their names instead of That's there names?
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Old 02-04-2007, 03:02 PM   #40
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jason Skywalker
I agree with Evan, there where some spelling or grammar errors, but it was good.

Also, Evan, how 'bout Those are their names instead of That's there names?
Well that could work as well


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