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Old 05-08-2007, 05:19 PM   #1
ExiledFish
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[Short Fic] Atop the Rakata Temple

Note: I was inspired to write the following after reading a mod request posted by Zerimar Nyliram. Who mentioned that the fight between Revan and Bastila atop the Rakata Temple should be a between to former lovers and so here it is.

A bead of sweat dropped down the side of my face the hot sun beating down from above. The sun of the Star Forge. There she stood before me showing little of what she had once stood for. A Jedi, protector of the republic and the one I cared for, loved for and kissed.

“Bastila…” I whispered walking forward. I had told Juhani and Jolee to go back to the others tell them to prep the Hawk for take off I knew she was here. I had sensed her presence.

"I knew you'd come for me!" she says. She walks forward no longer wearing the brown robes I had given her. They had been a gift with the symbol of a rose on its collar red for passion to remind her of us and how we felt for each other. She was dressed in black. The color of the dark side truly she had fallen.

“ Bastila come we must get out of here I wont leave with out you, “ I say hoping she will return forget the Malak and come back to the light but all I get is a harsh laugh and a smirk. She takes her lightsaber hilt off of her belt ready for combat I don’t touch mine. Unwilling to strike her at all.

“Leave? I'm Malak's crony now! Screw the Jedi Council! I won't be their pawn!" She says a tone of arrogance in her voice.

“No! Don't go to the Dark Side!” I cry not believing the words leaving my lovers mouth again a harsh laugh.

“Surely you know what I mean... They turned you into a puppet... They shackle everyone strong in the Force... They've been holding me back they knew I'd surpass them all!”

“No! I don't believe it! How could you betray us?!”

“I resisted at first... finally saw the truth.... acknowledged my anger and pain... saw how the Jedi wanted to deprive me of my right... they exploited my Battle Meditation!” She says I feel the anger growing within her I see her hand tighten around her hilt more ready then ever to strike me down I make my last attempt.

“Don't be lured by these Sith lies, Bastila!” I shout grabbing my lightsaber from my belt she shakes her head activating her lightsaber.

“You used to be Master of the Sith... no longer! Your power's diluted... you could have been as strong as me! I'm Malak's apprentice now, after I prove my worth by killing you!” She spits jumping forwards. This is it.

Activating my purple blade I roll under her leaping attack turning mid roll to slash at her back but seeing it coming Bastila span her double bladed lightsaber in the way of my attack landing on one foot she automatically jumped into a back flip and began to spin her saber like helicopter blades but I managed to move my saber in the way of her assault. She lands begin another flurry of complicated movements but again I block each of her attacks until finally I see a opening pushing back against her lightsaber I pull back and lunge at her striking down at her head while flipping I land the immediately spin round for a lower attack but with no success I rise again and we stand watching each other.

“It's not too late... You can still turn away from the Dark Side!” I cry though I know it’s to late letting out a cry of anger she charged towards me lightsaber spinning around her I block one attack then another but soon my self backed up against the wall raising her hand Bastila uses the force to begin to choke me. I feel my lungs shrivel my throat swell as I hang mid air a cocky smile on Bastila’s face I gasp for air then kick. Landing a blow on her cheek I fall to the floor my arm breaking under my body. I push myself up.

Bastila standing just in front of me still slightly rattled by the kick.

“You are stronger than I would have thought possible, after what the Jedi Council did to you. Seems Malak was wrong... the power of the Dark Side is not lost to you after all, Revan.” She finaly say switching off her lightsaber I do the same holding my arm to my chest pain throbbing through it.

“I draw my power from the Light now.” I shout a look of disgust erupt on her face. A tear begins to trickle down my bloodied face nose bleeding where I had hit the floor.

“You are a fool and a pawn of the Jedi... This battle not ended.” She shouts turning she runs back to her ship and back to the star forge…


[Center] |*~|My Work|~*| *~|~* Star Wars: Darkness Of The Past *~|~* Atop The Rakata Temple *~|~*
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Old 05-08-2007, 05:27 PM   #2
Darth Kalverys
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Ok, good job, but IMO you shouldn't write in First Person, not for stuff like this... I do encourage that you both write in fp and in 3rd person... I don't really know... I'm weird I know...
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Old 05-08-2007, 05:32 PM   #3
ExiledFish
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Well for thi i chose first but usually I write in 3rd. Story of Lon for example.


[Center] |*~|My Work|~*| *~|~* Star Wars: Darkness Of The Past *~|~* Atop The Rakata Temple *~|~*
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Old 05-08-2007, 05:48 PM   #4
steven
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Well i think it works with 1st person. Good job Fish.


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