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Old 05-12-2007, 09:39 PM   #1
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This is a Alternate Universe FIC. Everything in this does not really follow the original storyline of Star Wars though some parts are similar. I hope you enjoy my writing and please comment on it. With the help of you the reader I will become a better writer. ( I hope.)


Anakin stepped onto the landing pad and looked around. Padme’s ship was still here but there were no sign of C3-P0 or R2-D2 being near. Waking forwards he stepped up the loading rap and looked around the ship to find C3-P0 watching over Padme in the med bay her eyes opened slightly and she let out a sigh.

“Ana…” She whispered but fell into the mist that was her consciousness. She felt lost what was going on how Anakin had fallen so far…

“ Padme are you ok,” Anakin said shaking her arm but it was to late she had fallen unconscious again he thought hard, then came to a decision, he got up and walked into the cockpit C3-P0 following he set a course for Coruscant.

“3-P0 I need you to pilot while I watch over Padme,” Anakin said as they droid walked over to the pilot seat and sat down. Anakin returned to the med bay thinking over what had happened in the past few days. Why hadn’t he saved her why didn’t he have the infinite power Sideous his now dead master had promised…

Chapter I

Anakin looked down at Obi-Wan’s body as it rolled down the slope and fell into the Lava of Mustafar flames quickly covered its surface burning it until nothing remained. A true Jedi Funeral. Had Anakin not jumped high enough, that could have been his fate. But he was more powerful than Obi-Wan and soon he would rise above Sideous, Anakin would strike him down and rule over Galactic Empire with an unforgiving Iron Fist.

Anakin picked up Obi-Wan’s saber and hooked it onto his belt then looked up noticing the Dark Lord himself accompanied by ARC walking towards him.

“ Well done Vader we have won the Jedi are no more,” Sideous said as he approached they walked together silent until finally they arrived at the Imperial shuttle Sideous took out a metallic cylinder made of Black and Gold metal and passed it to Anakin.

Looking at the gold and black Anakin let out a harsh laugh and activated his new weapon striking down he looked at his master then attacked but Sideous had been to quick and jumped out of the way his scarlet saber also ignited jumping forwards he began to attack his lightsaber a blur of red light and sparks as Anakin and Sideous clashed blades both the ARC’s and clone troopers watched in awe as master fought apprentice Sideous quickly moved out of the way of one of Anakin’s attacks sending bolts of lightning at his traitor of an apprentice but Anakin had been to quick for the old mans reflexes and easily deflected it with his lightsaber.

Anakin held back the bolts of lightning as Sideous push harder using every ounce of his power in this one attack Anakin reached down for his old lightsaber and ignited it the blue lightsaber blade sticking out among the two scarlet he pushed back the lightning then jumped landing behind Sideous he quickly span round cutting the old man into.

“I am the Master now!” He shouted both his new scarlet lightsaber and old blue lightsaber activated he looked at each of the clone troopers and the two ARCs and smiled raising one of his hand he began to choke one of ARCs a vision of pleasure of his face as the clone clutched at its neck trying to stop it self from suffocating but he was quickly dead.

“Sir what are the orders? “ The remaining ARC troopers asked.

“You will speak when spoken to, do you understand?” Anakin barked.
“Yes Sir! “ The Clones chorused.

“You will travel back to Coruscant rally all of the troops a new age is coming,” Anakin said pulling his hood up.

“What about you sir?” The ARC asked Anakin the thought for a moment then quickly began to walk away from the troops shouted.

“I have business to attend to,” The Clones shrugged and began to boards the small shuttle.

Visions of Padme screaming in pain flashed through Anakin’s head as he ran towards the Naboo cruiser until the scream were so loud Anakin clutched his head letting out a yell of pain as he awoke.

Anakin awoke sweat dripping down his body he had been having the same dream so many times recently he couldn’t stop visiting that day the day she had died the day his lover had betrayed him. She had brought Obi-Wan and yet still he had loved her had held her in his arms as he gave birth and then finnaly as she whispered two words then died.

“Luke… “She had whispered as she looked at the newly born boy who was passed to Anakin she let out as scream as the contraction began again then fell silent as the girl was brought to her.

“Leia “She whispered looking at the newly born girl then fell silent. She had died.

He looked across the room his son and daughter still fast asleep and smiled. They would grow up to be so strong and soon the name Luke and Leia Skywalker would strike fear into the bravest mans heart.

The names had been Padme’s dieing words and so Anakin stuck with them. Both of the Skywalker children were strong in the force and already they showed signs of it lifting small object with little effort they had learnt to use some of there abilities well using the force to confuse the guards of the Star Destroyer so they could explore it’s every level freely.

Anakin’s comlink beeped while he looked at his to children he ignored it for a while then picking it up off his bedside table he answered it.

“What! “ He snapped he hated being called during the hours he was meant to be sleeping.

“Sir we have arrived at the planet of Cophrigin 5, “ A shaky voice said over the comlink. It was time.

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Old 05-12-2007, 09:47 PM   #2
Darth Kalverys
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Hmmm... good job, I found a couple of mistakes. You spelled Sidious wrong and you left out a couple of periods... but as a whole... it was really good.
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Old 05-12-2007, 09:51 PM   #3
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TY. Im working on it.

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Old 05-13-2007, 07:07 AM   #4
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Chapter II

Anakin stepped onto the bridge closely followed by his now awake son and daughter all three of them dressed in dark black robes each had a lightsaber at there belt.

“General Servac what is the situation?” Anakin said as he approached one of the men the man had be a transfer and so far had not got used to Anakin’s brutal and harsh ways.

“Uhh… Sss…sir we have arrived at Cophrigin V as the reports of Mara Jade say there should be a Jedi here,” Servac said he seemed to almost shake on the spot like someone who has had to much coffee.

“Should? General do you doubt the accuracy of my apprentice maybe I will stand for my crew undermining the best assassin in the galaxy,” Anakin said squaring up to the General who whimpered then backed away and started pressing buttons on his control panel.

“Prepare a shuttle,” Anakin said then headed back his room Luke and Leia closely behind him.

“Do you think there is a Jedi down there Luke?” Anakin asked his son. Luke looked at his farther and master and began to concentrate for a few minutes then finnaly relaxed.

“I can sense great power down there it may be a Jedi but it could be something else,” The young apprentice said. Anakin smiled he had trained his Son and daughter well both now eight years old they had learn to use the for many things. Anakin nodded then continued walking towards the hangar.

Meanwhile On Nar Shaddaa…

Derrick Mordin hadn’t always been a tramp. He was born into a fairly rich family on Naboo spending his childhood playing in and exploring the city of Theed with his friends he had a nice childhood by the age of fourteen he had already started learning about politics and for a short time when he was twenty was the chancellor of Naboo.

This was all before the murder. Derrick came home one evening to find his parents laid dead on the floor no signs of choking, stabbing, shooting or any other form of common killing techniques were visible and so he began to research into it until something led him to Nar Shaddaa where… he lost everything. His ship was stolen and he was attacked in the streets and so he was left with but the clothes on his back and a few credits to his name.

And so as usual he lay against the wall wide awake knowing that if he slept his clothes would be stolen or worse he would be killed. Any way he was meeting someone tonight someone who had promised him a lot of money.

Some one did come that night cloaked in a brown robe they seemed to appear almost out of no where.

“Derrick Mordin?” The figure said walking over to Derrick. Derrick looked up the figure and pulled himself up.

“Uh yes that’s me what can I do for you?” He said he had been waiting for this moment. The figure pulled down the hood of her robe and smiled.

“My name is Keiley Shan I have some important work for you to carry out with an offer you can’t refuse…

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Old 05-13-2007, 08:07 AM   #5
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Well, it is . . . pretty good.

One blinding, HUGE, mistake that you are making. THERE ARE NO PERIODS! I mean, It's starting to get really annoying having to read a whole paragraph in one sentance.

Other than that, I like it. Looking forward to more!

Let there be rock!

"I hope they realize that music is music, and that music is not a scene, not a style. Music is a beautiful ****ing thing to listen to. It is not a thing to ****ing preach to others about, it's not a ****ing cause. It is what it is—and that's a beautiful artform." - Synyster Gates

Check out my Fanfic:
Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic II: Embers of Destruction
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Old 05-13-2007, 08:13 AM   #6
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Sorry. I don't know its just when I really start writing and getting into I forget about full stops...Glad you think its good.

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Old 05-13-2007, 11:40 AM   #7
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Chapter III

The Imperial shuttle landed on the surface of Cophrigin V Anakin followed by his two children walked down the loading bay and looked around the plant covered surface.

“Luke, Leia be ready…” Anakin said he unclipped his lightsaber and ignited it revealing its scarlet blade. Luke and Leia both did the same igniting there sabres revealing two blue blades one from Anakin’s old saber held by Luke and the other from the now dead Obi-Wan Kenobi’s lightsaber. Anakin nodded to them both and they began to walk through the large undergrowth.

“Master do you know which Jedi it is we are hunting?” Leia asked walking next to her farther Luke just behind them watching there back.

“I have an idea,” Anakin said he stopped still listening to the sounds of the forest he heard a rustle then it happened.

Anakin jumped out of the way as a figure dived out of the trees holding a purple lightsaber, the figure began a flurry of attacks in all directions but Anakin quickly blocked and parried each attack. Luke jumped into a flying kick which was quickly dodged sending him flying towards a tree which he used his momentum to jump off of and attacked with his lightsaber, each of his attacks easily blocked by the figure. Leia seeing what was happening joined the attack but the figure was to good for the two Skywalker children. Anakin began his own flurry of slashes and stabs one just catching the figure’s side, he pulled back and then all three of the Skywalkers attacked at once but with no success the figure jumping back into the trees at last minute.

“Come you both did good but not good enough the Dark Woman is wounded but not dead,” Anakin said running into the forest using the force to pinpoint her location. He knew who it was they were fighting now. The Dark Woman, An'ya Kuro.

Picking up the pace Anakin bolted left through the trees following until they came across a large opening. There sat the Dark Woman her hood no longer pulled over her face kneeling in front of a small plant.

“This plant it is like me one of the few left in the universe,” She said she rose and turned to face Anakin.

“I see you have made your children more involved in your crimes then they should have been,” She said walking forwards her lightsaber ignited in her hand.

“Mustafar should have been your grave” She said her lightsaber raised above her head ready for combat.

“Shut it you old hag,” Luke said stepping forward his lightsaber raised An’ya laughed as Leia also stepped forwards.

“Children playing with lightsabers,” She said using the force to make herself disappear.

Anakin stepped forwards forming a triangle each of the Skywalkers looking in a different direction he waited then quickly turned using the force to push a fallen log quickly connecting with the Dark Woman’s head brining An’ya out of her camouflage.

“ And now you will die,” Anakin said simply raising his saber he struck down his attack just blocked by An’ya’s lightsaber she pushed her self off of the floor then raised her saber above her head.

“ Luke, Leia go back to the ship.” Anakin said Luke and Leia obeyed and began walking through the forest while Anakin began another flurry of attacks each on met with a block An’ya pushed Anakin back against the tree then using the force made several vines on the tree begin to grow rapidly around Anakin’s throat and neck until he couldn’t move.

“You have lost Darth Vader and now I will kill you ending your rule,” She said stepping forwards but anger began to build in Anakin using all of his strength he began to yell out the vines starting break all over, the tree behind him began to splinter and break until all that was left were the shards on the floor.

An’ya fell back at the might of the power crushing the plant she had been kneeling above Anakin shot out a burst of lightning from his non-robotic hand catching the trees alight he stepped over An’ya the Dark Woman and cut her down.

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Old 05-13-2007, 12:01 PM   #8
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Just thought I'd post some imformation.

This is based in the year of 7BBY here are the following changes.

- Because of the importance of Luke and Leia’s training Vader has not killed as many Jedi as in the original timeline.

- The Conclave on Kessel has yet to happen but will soon.

- Siege of Naboo has happened with Naboo now under empire control.

- Subjugation of Kashyyk has happened.

Read this link so you know what these changes refer to.

I have also made a slight change to the appearance of Leia and Luke.

Corrupted by the dark side from a very young age Luke and Leia’s appearance shows the evil within them. Both have long black hair and ember coloured eyes with black rings under them making it look like they haven’t slept for a week or a year. There skin is pale and covered in scars.

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Old 05-14-2007, 04:59 PM   #9
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Chapter IV

Derrick followed Keiley through the streets of Nar Shaddars refugee sector people moving swiftly out of the way as the hooded Jedi approached. She had nothing to him since he first lay eyes on her just that she had an offer that he couldn’t refuse. They kept walking entering the docks and walking towards a small freighter near the end of them Keiley stopping in front of them she looked around as if checking for something then pulled her hood down.

“Get on board,” she said still looking up and down the docks Derrick looked at her in disbelief. He had only known her for less then ten minutes and she expected him to just get on her ship. She may have been a Jedi but he wasn’t stupid.

“Tell me more about this offer first,” He said watching as she stepped into the shadow of her ship more as Four storm troopers entered the docking area. Each wielding a E11-Blaster Rifle they began to approach the ship.

“Damn they caught on quick…” Keiley muttered pulling Derrick into the shadows.

“What? What do you mean caught on quick what’s wrong with a couple of storm troopers,” Derrick said looking at her worried face she looked at him then lifting her robe slightly revealed a shiny metal cylinder.

“You’re a Jedi? No wander the after us you don’t exactly fit in,” Derrick said stepping away from her into the street he turned to run walking straight into the end of a blaster pistol.

“Don’t move.” The woman in front of him said pushing her blaster pistol harder into his stomach Derrick looked up at the Scarlet haired woman her green eyes blinking at him in the darkness of the city she pushed harder moving him into the shadow as the four storm troopers approached.

“Derrick Mordin I’m arresting you in the name of Lord Vader on suspicion of you being force sensitive. You will be personally presented to the emperor then your fate will be decided,” The woman said she grabbed Derrick arms pushing him towards Derrick who for a brief second looked back Keiley no longer where she had been.

“ Come on move along.,” The storm troopers said after cuffing him they pushed him forward moving him along through the crowd Derrick looked up noticing the great shape that was a Star Destroyer.

Mara watched as the storm troopers walked away and took out a small disk like object pressing a few buttons the figure of Anakin Skywalker appeared looking slightly singed in places but still the figure of fear and power Mara had worked for.

“I have captured the Force Sensitive Milord we are taking him to you now,” She said. A smirk appeared Anakin’s face.

“Well done Mara you are to take the Jade Shadow and join me here on the Leviathan,..” He said the holo figure wavered then finally disappeared as the transmission was ended. Holstering her blaster Mara walked into the crowd Keiley following close behind.

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