Yes, here it is. A drunk Revan fic.
“Heeeeeeeeyyyyyy!!!!” cried out Revan. “I didn’t – hic – think I would see – ugh – YOU here tonight!”
The man he was referring to was none other than Carth Onasi, pilot of the Republic Fleet. “How could I not come here, Revan?” asked Carth, rasing an eyebrow.
“I just didn’ think that chyu were up for all of this party stuff!” said
Revan, gesturing to the loud crowd that now was congregating on the dance floor of the Cantina.
After the ceremony on the Unknown World, which had been dubbed, Lehon, Revan and the rest of the companions, followed by which was probably close to half the republic fleet, travelled to Telos to celebrate the end of the War against Malak.
“Hey!” said Carth. “I want to help you all celebrate! But by the looks of it, none of you really need any help!”
Revan laughed. A big, long, exaggerated laugh.
A drunk laugh.
“Here!” he said, pushing a cup of the fine, now rare and high demanded, Tarisian Ale into Carth’s hand. “Have a swig!”
Carth tipped the entire contents of the cup down his throat and let out a loud cough. Revan heavily patted him on the back. “Another one?” he shouted over the noise. Carth nodded, still coughing.
He took the next glass Revan offered him and downed it once again in one go. This time, it slid down a considerable amount easier than the first. “Thanks,” he said, only slightly coughing now. “Wow, that stuff really hits ya, doesn’t it?”
Revan smiled. “Oh yesh, it does!”
They walked over to a table and sat down, watching all of the others dance.
“You know Revan,” said Carth. “I never thought we would be here,”
“It did seem a long shot when we first started didn’t it?” said Revan, laughing.
Carth joined in. “Yes,” he said. “Yes it did!”
Revan saw Bastila and sleekly put his hand up to try and manage his hair. Carth raised an eyebrow. Revan looked at him and smiled. “What?” he asked. “I like to look good!”
Carth scoffed and took another swig out of his cup. Bastila looked over at the pair of them, laughed to herself and walked away. Revan looked crestfallen.
After a few moments, Carth rolled his eyes, tapped Revan on the shoulder and motioned to the bar. They walked over and Carth said, “two more, please!” to the bartender. He nodded and proceeded to get their drinks.
“Don’t worry about it, Rev,” said Carth as he flipped a couple of credits to the bartender as they received their drinks. “As the saying goes, “there’s plenty of more mynock’s in the cave,”
Revan scoffed. “I guess you’re right,” he said, drinking. He looked at his cup, and said to the swirling liquid. “I always have yoooouuu!” in a drawling, baby voice. This made Carth crack out in laughter.
“Come on Revan!” said Carth. “Pick out a person and take her onto the dance floor. I’m sure anyone would want to dance with the “saviour of the Galaxy!”
They spent the next few hours drinking and dancing … and drinking some more.
Near the end of the night, the room had died down so much so that there were only another ten people – other than Revan and Carth, that is – still in the bar.
If you walked in at this time, you would find the two men, sitting side-by-side arms over each other shoulder, swaying softly each side and singing:
“…Oh, the lord Gho,
He had no power,
He had no money,
And he had no teeth that he was willing to show.
He would fly down in his speeder,
Down on the plains.
He would fly during winter,
And he would fly through the rains.
Seeking for the lost treasure,
Down in the sea,
His wife would get annoyed and cry out,
“what about me?!”
He lost his family,
And he lost his last good tooth,
The children thought he looked scary,
So he flew through the roof.
He took to the cliff,
Aiming to end it all.
But what he did not see
Was the branch as he made his fall.
He landed on the trunk,
Unable to yell.
For the branch struck,
Where no man would want to tell.
“Sorry to interrupt you,” said one of the waitresses of the Cantina, speaking softly to Revan and Carth. “But you are upsetting some of the other patrons. Do you mind keeping it down a bit? Otherwise you will be asked to leave.” Revan and Carth nodded, blinking stupidly. The waitress walked away and they both s******ed.
The rest of the night was a blur. Revan could hardly remember anything when, the next morning, he woke up with the worst headache he ever head. He looked around.
He was sprawled outside an apartment block; Carth next to him. Revan frowned and poked Carth awake.
“Not yet,” he said. “Just five more minutes. I’m just about done,”
Revan started to laugh at this comment, but stopped as soon as his brain started to beat harder against his skull. He winced and poked Carth
“What?” asked Carth, as his eyes slowly fluttered open. He looked around confused, and noticed Revan sitting next to him, so lifted himself into a sitting position and propped his back against the wall.
“What happened?” he asked, rubbing his eyes. “The last thing I remember is that we were walking with one of the dancers, and you were talking to her about how Bas rejected you,”
Revan winced, but Carth didn’t know if it was from his head, or the comment. Nevertheless, Revan didn’t continue on that subject.
“I don’t know,” answered Revan. “I know that we got kicked out of that cantina. Don’t have a clue as to what time that was however.”
They both sat there for a while before Carth slowly heaved himself up.
“Ugh!” he said. “Time to go and visit the refresher I think. What are you doing, Rev?” He asked as Revan slowly stood to his feet.
“I’ll go to the apartment I rented yesterday and freshen up,” he said. “Met you at the Cantina in say …. An hour?”
* * *
An hour and a half later, Carth walked up to Revan who was sitting at the bar.
“You’re late,” said Revan.
“I know,” he said, smiling apologetically. “I kind of fell asleep for a little bit,”
“Understandable,” replied Revan. He pushed a drink towards Carth. “Here,” he said.
“Cheers,” said Carth, thanking Revan. He held up the glass and said, “to days where you feel you can do anything!”
Revan raised his own glass and said, “and to the days where you can’t remember what you did the night before!”
They both laughed and drank to their toasts.
It was then, that it happened.
A body lunged into Revan, and he saw a pair of green arms wrap around his neck in an affectionate way. Revan pulled back and said, “What’s this?”
The Twiliek pulled back and she said, “why, don’t you remember me? Your own wife?”
Revan laughed. “I think you’ve got the wrong man,” he said, slowly pushing her away.
“Nuh-huh,” she replied. The woman lifted her hand and Revan noticed a large, gleaming, jewel-encrusted ring on her finger. An engraving said:
“May our lives bring us joy and happiness,
Revan’s heart sank. “By the Force,” he whispered.
Carth let out a loud and long laugh. It was a few minutes before he was able to stop. Coughing slightly, he lifted up his glass once more, “well that is a cause for celebration!” he said, smiling.
It was then that a purple skinned Twiliek ran up to Carth and jumped into his arms. “Hello, husband!” she cried.
Despite his own misfortune, Revan could not help but laugh at the look of horror on his best-friends face. “No … that’s
a cause for celebration!” he said.