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Old 10-24-2008, 05:03 PM   #41
Endorenna
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Wow. That was moving. I almost felt like crying there at the end.

Oh, what the heck...



Chapter 12 of A Soul Adrift is out.

Short stories:
T'katlu: On the planet Felucia, a young apprentice of the Dark Side thinks back to the beginning of her training as she lies in wait for her prey...

All the Time: After four years in the Unknown Regions, the Exile returns to the known galaxy to visit an old enemy.

Broken: A master of the Dark Side finds himself about to lose the one thing he cares about--and he will do anything to stop her from endangering herself.
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Old 10-26-2008, 02:26 AM   #42
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Thanks to both you

Here's another one. I'm sure you'll agree with me when I say it's VERY simply written. Not much effort was pt into the structure of this piece. I just wrote and this is what was left. I didn't even look at it until I was done.



- Untitled -

Good-bye.

Sleep now.
There will be no more worries for you.
Call me if you need anything.

Take a deep breath now,
never forget the feeling I had for you.
You don't have to say anything.

I will always try to remember,
everything that I have to forget,
but something that will always stick with me,
is how you played me like a marionette.

I'm not angry.
I'm not sad.
I'm content.

I wish I could feel more.
I know I'll miss you.
It's proven as my heart is still sore.
I will always miss you.

Your laugh,
my smile,
our life will be a life forever.

It's enough,
for a while,
until the next time we'll be together.

I just wished you would have given it another chance.
I hate you, but I love you.
It's sad really.
It's something I can not get.
I'll never forgive you. I'll never respect you again.
But I'll always miss you.

Good-bye.

I don't think it really needs explaining what it is about. I'll just leave it in saying that somethings can go the complete opposite way as to how you want it to sometimes, and that sometimes ... well ... it can hurt more than you want it to.

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Old 10-26-2008, 07:33 PM   #43
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I find sometimes simply written poems can have the most powerful impact.

I really liked that one. It's strange... damn the innocence of simple ideas!
Keep it up BFA You and I - we're poets.

lol.


"If God is a DJ, then life is a dance floor, love is the rhythm and you are the music."



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Old 10-26-2008, 10:25 PM   #44
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Haha, yes. Yes, we are

I new one. I've actually tried to amp it up a little with this one. [Yes, Burnesyy, you've made me push myself with writing this poetry. ]
Tell me what you think!


- Mien Visage -

Spiritual desire of the utmost draconic.
Cynical remarks to cover up disappointment.
Being of malevolence, perpetual siren.
Seeking out truth to discover resentment.
Eye's wide; petulant.
Arm's folded to hold in secrets.
Bubbling underneath the obscurity.

Ecstasy of thrill;
spiral down to everything below.
Presence of a consciousness,
Forever endowed with the knowledge of loss.
Knowledge of freedom.
Cliche rebellion within a heart's core,
A beat of the dark wings, something more.
Sick and tired.
Sense of a feeling,
Shadow of a thought,
Why all of this useless killing?

Adored yet anathematized,
Scorned and hunted.
Ennui with hollow sense, wait - there it is.
Tell the secrets, burn the foundations,
Spill the cup of depravity.
Taste it. Drink it.
Desecration and desire.
They are more linked than you will ever know.

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Old 10-27-2008, 03:01 PM   #45
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'Adored yet anathematized,
Scorned and hunted.'
I nod in the utmost approval. Best lines in the whole thing.

But I loved it all.

I'm glad I have such an influence over people.


"If God is a DJ, then life is a dance floor, love is the rhythm and you are the music."



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Old 11-01-2008, 12:41 AM   #46
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@Burnseyy: Haha, well. I was reading your work, and realized I might try and do something of that quality. That was all I could come up with however, lol.

Anyways.
New thing.


- Wishing Well -

I wish that I was a wishing well,
I would catch all those caring thoughts.
As I watched a coin flip and fall,
I wondered what would happen if it was caught.

Far beyond the distant sky,
A bird sails to the stars,
with a tear of fire it falls away,
And slips on into the night.

My life is a cluttered hall of dreams,
With a wiltered rose it shines.
It shines a white light of purity,
Casting a thin streak of bitter wine.

Droughts and floods caress the moon,
Of her thoughts through his mind.
Soon the tides will be coming in,
To catch the balloons of memories.

A smile falls across their lips,
As the blood trickles away.
For pain no more, they shall feel,
When a howling wind covers all.

I wish I was a wishing well,
I would fall down into the depths.
Being able to see the silver specks,
Of all the hopes and dreams.

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Old 11-01-2008, 01:51 AM   #47
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You add a delightful sense of macabre to any delerium.

There is no higher praise.


Chapter 12 of A Soul Adrift is out.

Short stories:
T'katlu: On the planet Felucia, a young apprentice of the Dark Side thinks back to the beginning of her training as she lies in wait for her prey...

All the Time: After four years in the Unknown Regions, the Exile returns to the known galaxy to visit an old enemy.

Broken: A master of the Dark Side finds himself about to lose the one thing he cares about--and he will do anything to stop her from endangering herself.
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Old 11-01-2008, 02:13 AM   #48
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W0ot! Receiving that type of praise must mean I'm doing something right!
Thanks!!! x[)

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Old 11-11-2008, 12:43 AM   #49
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- Traces of Sanity -

Come here, my love, my sweet.
Come here to taste this bitter cool.
Sing a line of sweet melody to me,
and I will tell you of the fool....

Such a dark night,
whereas the clouds could not be seen.
My eyes, oh, were they out of sight,
out of mind: to where have I been?

Fire, and the trees.
Great black arches overcome thee.
Lest thy sense of the inner soul,
condemn me down this deep and winding hole.

Taste my hate,
forgive my lust.
Do what you will to me, do what you must.

It is my fate,
to wait till dusk,
and wait to do what you would ask.

A line to destiny, the fates do weave for me.
Can it be? Will it ever be?
Only time will tell.


---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


- Dream Pedigree -

I've been sitting here,
thinking about nothing.
Setting my sights on my dreams,
Can I do everything?

I've been staring out the window,
wishing you were here.
I don't know where to go,
My hope turned into fear.

Sucking my addiction,
into a void of cliche despair.
Trying to heal my infliction,
wandering the stars without a care.

Save a prayer for me,
No doubt I'm going to need it.
Finding salvation in my own thoughts,
It's what I am, it's who I want to be.

For years I've wished and screamed.
But I always thought it would not be.
Until one day, when I was staring out the same window.
I realized. You never left.
You were always here with me.


Last edited by The_Catto; 11-11-2008 at 06:10 AM.
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Old 11-11-2008, 05:13 PM   #50
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Wow...

Traces of Sanity is pure genius. The second is great too!

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Old 11-11-2008, 07:31 PM   #51
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I liked Traces of Sanitybetter than Dream Pedigree, but they were both works of art. Great job!


Chapter 12 of A Soul Adrift is out.

Short stories:
T'katlu: On the planet Felucia, a young apprentice of the Dark Side thinks back to the beginning of her training as she lies in wait for her prey...

All the Time: After four years in the Unknown Regions, the Exile returns to the known galaxy to visit an old enemy.

Broken: A master of the Dark Side finds himself about to lose the one thing he cares about--and he will do anything to stop her from endangering herself.
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Old 11-11-2008, 10:54 PM   #52
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Thanks peoples.
Yeah, I was kinda anxious about Dream Pedigree. It's not really ... what I like to write so I didn't do a good job IMO.
Would you believe Traces of Sanity only took me ten minutes to write? Editing and all.
Tis true!

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Old 11-16-2008, 06:35 AM   #53
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- Lazy -



The pillow case sings a song for me,
it's time that I got back.
A brown autumn leaf falls, it's not meant to be,
But it's OK. Sit back down and relax.

All the little things that we are,
makes us the same in being different.
Nothing bad can come out of being good,
besides, it's not as bad as how bad we are at commitment.

Balloons, sand, and the sound of the guitar,
it's what heaven's supposed to be.
Let's go now, it's time to get in the car,
the only heaven is where you're right here beside me.

I see things that aren't there,
and I beleive that you don't care.
It's not that I'm going crazy,
it's just me, and how much I'm getting lazy.

Sing a line and I'll play a tune,
let's see if we can get something going.
Green in the sky, it's just the balloon,
I wonder if we'll ever stop falling.

The moon rises in your eye,
a leaf from a dream falls into your face.
Say it now, it's just another lie,
it's so funny how we can fall from grace.

Pick a yellow box and read the note what's left behind.
Can you breathe, anymore?
Follow the trail the wind draws for you and tell me what you find...

It's something inside.
It's not wrong, it's not right.
It's not real, it's how we are and who we're meant to be.
What do you say, do you want to be free?

I see things that aren't there,
and I beleive that you don't care.
It's not that I'm going crazy,
it's just me, and how much I'm getting lazy.

Pass me another shot,
it's your turn, have a draw.
You better check how much we've got,
we're just having fun, it's the law.

I can't believe my jeans got stained,
by the hillside we fell down.
I can't even remember if I fainted,
all I could see was the giant clown.

I'm falling, I'm falling, I'm falling and I can't stop.

Sometimes I wish we were eagles,
sailing through the sky.
We wouldn't do anything which was illegal,
the time I'd stop is when I'd die.

And I see things that aren't there,
and I believe that you don't care.
It's not that I'm going crazy,
It's just me, and how much I'm getting lazy.

It's time to see, it's to feel,
that you aren't really here with me.
I'm standing out here now, what's the big deal?
After all, it wasn't all a dream.

Was it?

I see things that aren't there, you standing beside me.
I believe that you don't care, it would have been different.
It's not that I'm going crazy, as I said: it wasn't all a dream.
It just me, and how much I'm getting lazy.

Spread those wings and lets finally see if we can fly.

Closer now and I'll show you what it's like.
Falling down, don't give in, don't give up the fight.
Don't go digging and you won't find anything.

I see things that aren't there...

Are you really there, or am I just ... ?


Last edited by The_Catto; 11-24-2008 at 01:56 AM.
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Old 12-02-2008, 07:24 PM   #54
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- Horror's of the Winged Gho -


The demons of Gho,
They fly through opened portals.
The windows in the towers,
the walls shiver at their calls.

I sleep not, tonight.
Nor forever.
An eternity as a demon.
A demon of Gho.

Great beast, hear thy screams.
Thy has thee soul, splitting at the seams.
Thou thy do not know how you came to be,
my life, my line, is all but nothing of me.

Cry I will not,
but whimper in the dark.
Stay here, and make me rot, sweet innocence.
My eyes pierce, stark.

Equivocal sense;
exonerate my lost dreams, for I dream them not.
You dwell into the rivers of obscenity in my mind,
Strand of memory, the origin of such things in kind.

Night as come, but ho! She did not leave!
The moon is as beautiful as always.
But Gho is LOST! DERANGED!

... BEGONE! Lost beings, begone!

I will always fly sweet lady.

Frosty tears of shattered memories,
My lies and dreams are still within you, this I know.
I will never leave, this thee must believe.
Take me now, sweet demons of Gho.

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Old 12-09-2008, 11:08 PM   #55
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Oooohhh .. A fourth in a row post.

================================================== ========================

It's coming.
Lo, it is coming!
Something which cannot be seen.
But something that you can destroy with but just one look.

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Old 12-09-2008, 11:13 PM   #56
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Wow, that poem had me looking over my shoulder

Great work!
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Old 12-09-2008, 11:19 PM   #57
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Thanks. I was just so bored so I just done that on the spot.
I have no diea as to what it means or anything, lol.

Right there is the result of random improv!

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Old 12-09-2008, 11:21 PM   #58
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr_BFA View Post
Oooohhh .. A fourth in a row post.

================================================== ========================

It's coming.
Lo, it is coming!
Something which cannot be seen.
But something that you can destroy with but just one look.
Oy, you're ILLEGAL!!!

Awesome poems Mr. BFA, you definately have a gift for it!


you very much
If a tree would fall in the woods.....would the other trees laugh at it?
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Old 12-09-2008, 11:24 PM   #59
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Cheers, CQ.

I was thinking about posting them all into one post but then I automatically thought, what would be the point?
Anyways.

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Old 12-12-2008, 01:45 AM   #60
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Another bored-out-of-my-mind-on-the-spot thing. Hope you like.

- Life of Truth -



Black wings,
bespectacled things,
watch as it begins,
when a demon sings.

Don't be afraid,
of what Gho made,
of where she laid,
down, down, of where she may bathe.

Orb of seer's,
forgive these tears,
sacrifice our years,
all as Gho leers.

Stare, no care,
begin, to sing.
fulfil lustrous thoughts.

Only to have them taken away.

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Old 12-12-2008, 01:53 AM   #61
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Okay, I really like all the ones I've missed! Yea, I had some catching up to do. :/ Sorry 'bout that.


Chapter 12 of A Soul Adrift is out.

Short stories:
T'katlu: On the planet Felucia, a young apprentice of the Dark Side thinks back to the beginning of her training as she lies in wait for her prey...

All the Time: After four years in the Unknown Regions, the Exile returns to the known galaxy to visit an old enemy.

Broken: A master of the Dark Side finds himself about to lose the one thing he cares about--and he will do anything to stop her from endangering herself.
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Old 12-12-2008, 02:00 AM   #62
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Ha, thanks, Endo.
No worries about the having to catch up thing. I know what its like

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Old 12-12-2008, 04:59 AM   #63
Chevron 7 locke
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All I can say is Fantastic work BFA!
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Old 12-13-2008, 05:56 AM   #64
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr_BFA View Post
Thanks to both you

Here's another one. I'm sure you'll agree with me when I say it's VERY simply written. Not much effort was pt into the structure of this piece. I just wrote and this is what was left. I didn't even look at it until I was done.



- Untitled -

Good-bye.

Sleep now.
There will be no more worries for you.
Call me if you need anything.

Take a deep breath now,
never forget the feeling I had for you.
You don't have to say anything.

I will always try to remember,
everything that I have to forget,
but something that will always stick with me,
is how you played me like a marionette.

I'm not angry.
I'm not sad.
I'm content.

I wish I could feel more.
I know I'll miss you.
It's proven as my heart is still sore.
I will always miss you.

Your laugh,
my smile,
our life will be a life forever.

It's enough,
for a while,
until the next time we'll be together.

I just wished you would have given it another chance.
I hate you, but I love you.
It's sad really.
It's something I can not get.
I'll never forgive you. I'll never respect you again.
But I'll always miss you.

Good-bye.

I don't think it really needs explaining what it is about. I'll just leave it in saying that somethings can go the complete opposite way as to how you want it to sometimes, and that sometimes ... well ... it can hurt more than you want it to.
I'm sorry to say, but you'll probably never top this, masterfully written, puts most professional poets to shame, kudos to you Mr_BFA, kudos to you


Yes
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Old 12-16-2008, 07:50 AM   #65
The_Catto
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Thanks Bini. That's some pretty damn good praise right there.
Who knew that simplicity could be thought in such a way.

Anyways .. another one:

- Wiltered Wars from Past Memories -

We stand here,
Above the end of time.
Seeing all that was to be,
Being with all who fought with me.

We stand here,
Waiting for the time that comes soon.
Not knowing their whereabouts,
The fires of hell caress the shadow of the moon.

Over the seas and plains we have stumbled.
Fighting the things only from nightmares.
Filled with strength that sometimes we fumbled,
Seeing the things the mortals were taught to fear.

Clashing steel and splintered shield,
Standing there gripping the sword we wield.

To be ghosts of the future from the past.

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Old 12-17-2008, 12:08 AM   #66
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Originally Posted by Mr_BFA View Post
Thanks Bini. That's some pretty damn good praise right there.
Who knew that simplicity could be thought in such a way.
The KISS rule:
"Keep it simple stupid"

I almost stood corrected on what I said about you never surpassing that other one, almost. Another beautiful poem, good work, again


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Old 12-17-2008, 12:17 AM   #67
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Amazing poetry, Mr. BFA, absolutely amazing. Have you ever considered publishing the poems? These are excellent, lots of feeling and imagery, and it sort've reminds of Lord of the Rings poetry, a very very good thing!


you very much
If a tree would fall in the woods.....would the other trees laugh at it?
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Old 12-17-2008, 06:14 AM   #68
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I've thought about it. But then I'd have to get an editor, and an agent and stuff and when I think about it, it just takes up too much time and money and at the moment, I have neither,

Thanks for the comments though

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Old 12-17-2008, 01:01 PM   #69
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I like "Lazy" In "Life of Truth", who's Gho?



The sun goes down and the sky reddens, pain grows sharp.
light dwindles. Then is evening
when jasmine flowers open, the deluded say.
But evening is the great brightening dawn
when crested cocks crow all through the tall city
and evening is the whole day
for those without their lovers

-Kuruntokai 234, translated by A.K. Ramanujan

[Fic] Shreds of a Dying Belief
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Old 12-17-2008, 04:51 PM   #70
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr_BFA View Post
Thanks Bini. That's some pretty damn good praise right there.
Who knew that simplicity could be thought in such a way.

Anyways .. another one:

- Wiltered Wars from Past Memories -

We stand here,
Above the end of time.
Seeing all that was to be,
Being with all who fought with me.

We stand here,
Waiting for the time that comes soon.
Not knowing their whereabouts,
The fires of hell caress the shadow of the moon.

Over the seas and plains we have stumbled.
Fighting the things only from nightmares.
Filled with strength that sometimes we fumbled,
Seeing the things the mortals were taught to fear.

Clashing steel and splintered shield,
Standing there gripping the sword we wield.

To be ghosts of the future from the past.
Excellent work, BFA. An interesting name.

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Old 12-17-2008, 04:53 PM   #71
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You know, now I feel like writing a sad poem, or watching a sad movie, AWESOME POEM!


you very much
If a tree would fall in the woods.....would the other trees laugh at it?
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Old 12-17-2008, 10:09 PM   #72
The_Catto
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@Bee: Life in Truth is somewhat of a sequel I guess to 'Horrors of the Winged Gho'
It's just an original depiction of a demon that I've made up to represent despair, death, Night .. you know .. the usual things poetry can be about,

Cheers for the compliments people. Anyone with extensive knowledge about poetry and see's anything in which I can improve on, please, don't hesitate to tell me about it


Anyways .. yeah ...
Thanks again.

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Old 12-30-2008, 09:07 PM   #73
The_Catto
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Something I never thought I'd post ... for a number of reasons.

- An Ending Serenade -


As the early airs,
Of sun-swept fires,
Land upon your fair face.

My heart beats mourningly,
As the last light fades,
From your desired grace.

For I wept-
In doubt,
As to whither you are,
For thy heart is lost,
And thou art weary with pain.

Now, that future is almost gone:
But say not it is lost.

As the final thread is sown.

As leaves will fall,
From the dread of frost,
Your spirit shall linger.

Even as your life is forfeit,
Your eyes glitter,
As bright, as the above starlight,
Your beauty blinds me of sight.

But say no more,
Forever; shall it be,
To live is to die, after all,
As the last dregs of life,
Ebb away from your dearest hold.

For an enternity of life beyond all things,
Enternity of weeping,
Being robbed from trouble and toil,
The life-force is seeping.

Into the never-ending,
But never acsending;
Your spirit shall linger.


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Old 01-01-2009, 12:05 AM   #74
Rabish Bini
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr_BFA View Post
Something I never thought I'd post ... for a number of reasons.

I'm so glad you did, you actually wrote one better than the one I said you'd never surpass, congratulations. This ones gonna be difficult to top.

I think I have a clue as to why you didn't wanna post it...


Yes
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Old 01-01-2009, 12:34 AM   #75
CommanderQ
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Amazing poem, Mr. BFA. Absolutley amazing.....This one is by far the best I've seen, ever!

This will be a tough one indeed to top.

Now, as you say...

CHEERS!


you very much
If a tree would fall in the woods.....would the other trees laugh at it?
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Old 01-01-2009, 01:01 AM   #76
The_Catto
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Thanks, guys. That means a whole lot. Really.

Here's another very personal one I've decided that it's time to post. I think I actually these up once but I deleted them a while back cause yeah ... Didn't want em up at that time. Now I feel its a good time. New Year = New Beginnings, hey.
Anyways ... Here it is:

================================================== ===============================


- Bitter Sweet -


There were no tears,
There were no saddened faces.
There were no cries, or shouts of anger,
For the amount of years, that it had took for her to go to the place,
Of all places.

She stood out, in the middle of the hallway,
Looking from side to side with a tear swept gaze,
Her mind racing, forever wondering,
As she thought back to the days.

One, silent tear, caressed her bruised vision of beauty,
The bight blue oceans of her eyes closed,
Her hair, flowed vigorously through the night air;
A blood-red rose, it's petals fell to the ground below, without a voice of care.

No-one thought, no-one knew,
An angel, a saint, a martyr of the innocent - yet stung:
As the bird flew, so close, but a mere speck in one's vision.
Someone was lost.

Another soul, another feeling,
Just the same cost, no matter at all, just another view of seeing;
As her spirit floated away, without uttering a single word,
A trail of mist, sorrow, blinding - Her spirit faded away,

Leaving behind, just one more sense, of a bitter sweet memory.

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Old 01-01-2009, 02:43 AM   #77
Rabish Bini
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That was an odd one, some of the lines were a bit weird to read, thus affecting the overall flow.
Other than that, another solid poem, I like some of the choices of words


Yes
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Old 01-06-2009, 06:13 AM   #78
The_Catto
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It was meant to be written like that. I'm not sure if it's a specific style of writing however. Just one of my ways to write.
Anyways...
A more darker one this time around. Let's see what you think, shall we?

- Damned Nights And A Bitter Swell -

With a wiltered rose,
came the shadowless horde,
cloudless lightning forked across the sky.

Horse and man,
shield and blade,
the moon stood hellbent in the sky.

Fire breathed ice,
malecious intent,
silent weeps for the storm.

Her whisper sent a shiver,
down the young men's spines.
As her snakes began to slither,
the blood rain fell in time.

"Wait for me in bed my husband!"
cried out the witch.
Satan's leer smirked fanatic,
her crisp black magic,
formed a demon, creating satanic's end.

The beasts snare was there,
in the light of no care,
with a heartless stare,
there was no repent.

Circles breathed in fire,
as the hour grows dire,
who now can save the knights?

A young man yells, "look out, sire!"
before the demons sends his soul to flame.
Oh, the shame.

Creatures of the Black Witch.

Sickly threads,
countless deaths,
corpses feeding the earth.

Creatures of the Black Witch.

"Off with her head!"
"Condemn her soul to hell!"
Unknowing her soul was already unearthed.

Creatures of the Black Witch.

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Old 01-06-2009, 09:40 PM   #79
Emalin
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Your poems are gorgeous, Mr_BFA, and have so many layers of meaning. You have a way with words. What inspired your latest poem, exactly? It is indeed very dark...




---KotOR 2 Fanfics---
Pawn Endgame | Return of the Gizka

Click here to visit my art thread

Last edited by Emalin; 01-07-2009 at 02:05 AM.
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Old 01-06-2009, 11:42 PM   #80
The_Catto
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Thanks Em. Glad you like them

The latest? Well, I had a dream the other night and I tried to describe whilst adding a few extra bits to help keep it somewhat interesting. Weird dream it was...

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