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Old 07-07-2008, 08:28 AM   #1
Dath Maximus
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Monkey Business

So yeah, last night at work, I went into my cooler and found something very disturbing. Someone on the day shift decided to leave me the head of a pinata monkey. Even had a note letting me know it was mine. I haven't damn clue who the hell left me the monkey head.

heres a pic of it and the note





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Old 07-07-2008, 09:55 AM   #2
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Do you have as little context on this as we do?
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Old 07-07-2008, 10:18 AM   #3
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"The zoo lost its favorite member"?

This looks like the beginning of a mystery film.

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Old 07-07-2008, 10:24 AM   #4
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I notice that whomever wrote the note said "it's" instead of "its", which is a blatant grammatical error.
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Old 07-07-2008, 11:43 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by IG-64 View Post
Do you have as little context on this as we do?
i seriously have no clue who the hell sent it, what it's meaning is, and what a zoo and me would have to do with it

not even my supervisors or execs had any clue who it was from


so yeah....what the hell


BongoBob: Dath you are the true face of the internet.
Roxstar: Dath is 1/2 Chris Farley 1/2 Lord Voldemort.
Kain: Dath>new guy
TiE23: Dath, lord of accidentally burning the unburnable.
The Seeker: Dath Maximus makes happiness his Bitch.
BongoBob: Dath never keeps his promises. EXCEPT TO KILL!
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Old 07-07-2008, 11:59 AM   #6
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Get a sample of handwriting from everyone on your shift.

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Old 07-07-2008, 12:02 PM   #7
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Old 07-07-2008, 12:33 PM   #8
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Get a sample of handwriting from everyone on your shift.
it was one of the dayside people who left the monkey

im night shift

and there are like...300+ daysiders


BongoBob: Dath you are the true face of the internet.
Roxstar: Dath is 1/2 Chris Farley 1/2 Lord Voldemort.
Kain: Dath>new guy
TiE23: Dath, lord of accidentally burning the unburnable.
The Seeker: Dath Maximus makes happiness his Bitch.
BongoBob: Dath never keeps his promises. EXCEPT TO KILL!
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Old 07-07-2008, 12:58 PM   #9
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Extremely odd. I take it you have no real notion of who works the day shift? Maybe one of your night shift friends is friends with someone on the day shift and had him do it?

_EW_



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Old 07-07-2008, 01:05 PM   #10
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I did it.



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Old 07-07-2008, 01:05 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EnderWiggin View Post
Extremely odd. I take it you have no real notion of who works the day shift? Maybe one of your night shift friends is friends with someone on the day shift and had him do it?

_EW_

most of the night folk dont get along with the day folk, im one of the exceptions who knows a few of the day folk, but i didnt think well enough that one would do that


BongoBob: Dath you are the true face of the internet.
Roxstar: Dath is 1/2 Chris Farley 1/2 Lord Voldemort.
Kain: Dath>new guy
TiE23: Dath, lord of accidentally burning the unburnable.
The Seeker: Dath Maximus makes happiness his Bitch.
BongoBob: Dath never keeps his promises. EXCEPT TO KILL!
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Old 07-07-2008, 01:22 PM   #12
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This is pretty much the greatest thread I have ever come across, and I'm not sure why.




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Old 07-07-2008, 01:24 PM   #13
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They're calling you a monkey, which is clearly wrong as you are a chicken. Even the note left behind recognizes that.




have a suggestion for the lf poll? pm me
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Old 07-07-2008, 01:51 PM   #14
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I smell a MURDER...

Did the pinata at least have candy in it?
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Old 07-07-2008, 01:53 PM   #15
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Quote:
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I did it.


You should have expected that, Dath

_EW_



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Old 07-07-2008, 02:03 PM   #16
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Why doesn't weird **** like this ever happen to me?

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Old 07-07-2008, 02:12 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ET Warrior View Post
I did it.
You arent cunning enough

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pie™ View Post
This is pretty much the greatest thread I have ever come across, and I'm not sure why.
its cause im just friggan awesome

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rogue Nine View Post
They're calling you a monkey, which is clearly wrong as you are a chicken. Even the note left behind recognizes that.
quite you slacker asian, besides, that is clearly a duck

Quote:
Originally Posted by DarthAve View Post
I smell a MURDER...

Did the pinata at least have candy in it?
sadly no...no candy

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pho3nix View Post
Why doesn't weird **** like this ever happen to me?
cause im dath and youre finnish


BongoBob: Dath you are the true face of the internet.
Roxstar: Dath is 1/2 Chris Farley 1/2 Lord Voldemort.
Kain: Dath>new guy
TiE23: Dath, lord of accidentally burning the unburnable.
The Seeker: Dath Maximus makes happiness his Bitch.
BongoBob: Dath never keeps his promises. EXCEPT TO KILL!
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Old 07-07-2008, 09:11 PM   #18
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Your name's Apollo?


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Old 07-07-2008, 10:11 PM   #19
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My word of advice: look at the people closest to you first. Something similar to this happened to me once and it turned out to be my mom...

I also got my LF account hijacked once and it turned out to be my best friend...


Don't trust anyone.
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Old 07-07-2008, 10:13 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dath Maximus View Post
sadly no...no candy
Than once you find the mastermind behind this, force him to buy you enough candy to fill it.
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Old 07-07-2008, 10:56 PM   #21
Dath Maximus
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mace MacLeod View Post
Your name's Apollo?
Yes

Quote:
Originally Posted by IG-64 View Post
My word of advice: look at the people closest to you first. Something similar to this happened to me once and it turned out to be my mom...

I also got my LF account hijacked once and it turned out to be my best friend...


Don't trust anyone.
im like...not that close to anyone on dayside....that whole...not working the same shifts as them kinda thing

Quote:
Originally Posted by DarthAve View Post
Than once you find the mastermind behind this, force him to buy you enough candy to fill it.
oh i will ave, i will


BongoBob: Dath you are the true face of the internet.
Roxstar: Dath is 1/2 Chris Farley 1/2 Lord Voldemort.
Kain: Dath>new guy
TiE23: Dath, lord of accidentally burning the unburnable.
The Seeker: Dath Maximus makes happiness his Bitch.
BongoBob: Dath never keeps his promises. EXCEPT TO KILL!
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Old 07-07-2008, 11:48 PM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dath Maximus View Post
im like...not that close to anyone on dayside....that whole...not working the same shifts as them kinda thing
And I'm guessing no one you are close to could have somehow slipped it in there making it look like it was someone from dayshift?


Quote:
Originally Posted by Dath Maximus
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mace MacLeod
Your name's Apollo?
Yes
Why did you bother coming up with Dath Maximus when you already had an awesome name like Apollo?


[edit] *just remembered your twitter name*

Last edited by IG-64; 07-08-2008 at 12:40 AM.
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Old 07-08-2008, 12:02 AM   #23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by IG-64 View Post
My word of advice: look at the people closest to you first. Something similar to this happened to me once and it turned out to be my mom...
Your mom left a torso-less monkey pinata in your cooler?

That's...yeah...that's gonna require some therapy...



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Old 07-08-2008, 12:46 AM   #24
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Quote:
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Your mom left a torso-less monkey pinata in your cooler?

That's...yeah...that's gonna require some therapy...
No, while we were asleep, she wrote out a note as if it was written by the homeowner's association (even starting with "dear homeowner") about something that needed to be done in our backyard and pinned it exactly where it would be if someone had opened up our back door, reached in, and stuck it on the wall. She apparently assumed we would get the joke, but it freaked us out for awhile. Then when she explained, I felt stupid.
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Old 07-08-2008, 12:53 AM   #25
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Old 07-08-2008, 06:28 AM   #26
Dath Maximus
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the monkey head currently resides on the wall in my room, i will find out who did it...oh yes....


BongoBob: Dath you are the true face of the internet.
Roxstar: Dath is 1/2 Chris Farley 1/2 Lord Voldemort.
Kain: Dath>new guy
TiE23: Dath, lord of accidentally burning the unburnable.
The Seeker: Dath Maximus makes happiness his Bitch.
BongoBob: Dath never keeps his promises. EXCEPT TO KILL!
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Old 07-10-2008, 02:16 AM   #27
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Hmm, Godfather IV? Or maybe it's a conspiracy against you, starting with the theft of one talking Yoda.


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I have Attention Surplus Disorder.
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Old 03-19-2009, 09:52 AM   #28
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good news, after an awkwardly long period of time, i discovered who did it


BongoBob: Dath you are the true face of the internet.
Roxstar: Dath is 1/2 Chris Farley 1/2 Lord Voldemort.
Kain: Dath>new guy
TiE23: Dath, lord of accidentally burning the unburnable.
The Seeker: Dath Maximus makes happiness his Bitch.
BongoBob: Dath never keeps his promises. EXCEPT TO KILL!
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Old 03-19-2009, 10:10 AM   #29
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Old 03-19-2009, 01:48 PM   #30
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TWAS COLONEL MUSTARD IN THE LIBRARY WITH THE CANDLESTICK!!!!


actually it was one of the execs who i had trained how to work flow one night


BongoBob: Dath you are the true face of the internet.
Roxstar: Dath is 1/2 Chris Farley 1/2 Lord Voldemort.
Kain: Dath>new guy
TiE23: Dath, lord of accidentally burning the unburnable.
The Seeker: Dath Maximus makes happiness his Bitch.
BongoBob: Dath never keeps his promises. EXCEPT TO KILL!
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Old 03-19-2009, 04:18 PM   #31
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Hmm. Are the photos down? For whatever reason I can't view them at all.



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Old 03-19-2009, 04:47 PM   #32
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what are your further plans dath


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Old 03-19-2009, 04:54 PM   #33
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what are your further plans dath
I also am curious? Did you get your candy, Apollo?
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Old 03-20-2009, 10:06 AM   #34
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I love this thread.


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Old 03-20-2009, 03:09 PM   #35
Dath Maximus
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Ill repost the pics later

and yes i did infact get candy, i demanded candy for the months of mental anguish

5th avenue bar baby!


BongoBob: Dath you are the true face of the internet.
Roxstar: Dath is 1/2 Chris Farley 1/2 Lord Voldemort.
Kain: Dath>new guy
TiE23: Dath, lord of accidentally burning the unburnable.
The Seeker: Dath Maximus makes happiness his Bitch.
BongoBob: Dath never keeps his promises. EXCEPT TO KILL!
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Old 03-22-2009, 03:38 PM   #36
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Wow...just...wow...
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Old 04-16-2009, 12:00 AM   #37
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Hmm. Well, did it smell as bad as having 3 dead raccoons in your car trunk? Happened to me once.


"I cant see S***! --YOU GO TO HELL!" --Tourettes guy
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Old 04-16-2009, 12:12 AM   #38
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lol necromancy


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Old 04-16-2009, 03:55 AM   #39
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Hmm. Well, did it smell as bad as having 3 dead raccoons in your car trunk? Happened to me once.
Depends, were the raccoons filled with candy or filled with maggots?


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Old 04-16-2009, 04:11 AM   #40
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lol necromancy
I wish I had a spell book for that.

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Depends, were the raccoons filled with candy or filled with maggots?
No, Not quite. Starting to get some signs of decay. Just road kill. Most distinctive featore of all of them were either tiremarks or squished area. I'd guess ~1-2 weeks. Withered eyes, matted fur, dirt, mold. Some blood and guts dried up. One even had a little garbage stuck to it.

The dweesh nozzle that did it happened to be some pal from a long time ago...fell out of contact. He always had an odd sense of humor. Least he was thoughtful enough to line the area with plastic garbage bags and drop cloths.

Wasn't sure how to react to it. The upclose smell hit me after the initial shock and of course I puked all over the parking lot. He jumped out having a lulfest.


"I cant see S***! --YOU GO TO HELL!" --Tourettes guy
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