lfnetwork.com mark read register faq members calendar

Thread: Shrouded in Darkness: Yuthura Ban's Tale
Thread Tools Display Modes
Post a new thread. Sorry, this thread is closed. Indicate all threads in this forum as read. Subscribe to this forum. RSS feed: this forum RSS feed: all forums
Old 04-05-2009, 10:19 PM   #241
Darth_Yuthura
Banned
 
Status: Banned
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Vienna
Posts: 1,585
Current Game: KOTOR III
Chapter 52: Conflicting Loyalties

It has been a long time since this has been updated, but I think that I've finally decided on a proper way to eventually end this story. That's still a ways off, but I need to introduce some elements at this point in order for the present story arc to properly manifest itself before that time.

For those who have read my other fictions as well, I have not killed off any major characters at all. That is not going to be something I intend to maintain indefinitely. I won't foreshadow anything, but aware that I am not going to always maintain this style where everything ultimately works out. I may go so far as to have a situation come up where it is Yuthura... not the Council who are wrong.

Anyway, I will start this off again. Hope you enjoy and thanks for the wait. There is more in progress, but not ready to publish, so this isn't a month's worth of waiting right here... just a refresh.

------

I meant what I said when I turned my back on the Jedi. I had been so angry at how Master Zhar wouldn’t accept anything other than restraining Revan’s memories indefinitely. It wasn’t a death sentence, but it followed a worse moral ambiguity than an execution.

The Council were regarded as the wisest and greatest of the Order, but I could not stand for their crime against Revan. It shocked me to the core of how they trampled upon everything that I most valued so callously. They wanted Revan as their slave, which was worse than killing him. It was as though they wanted to exploit everything from him and extract his very essence before throwing him away. I could not defeat them, so my hope was to ensure that they could never have him again.

Before I departed, I spoke with Ross and told him of my predicament and explained to him why I needed to leave. I didn’t expect him to be all too ready to follow suite, despite my advice. I strongly encouraged him not to resign because of me, but when I told him about the High Council’s crime... his faith was shaken.

Alfred took the news better than he did five years ago. I think that this time, he knew I was doing it for a cause that I truly believed in. In addition, I had every expectation to return after the Council acknowledged its guilt and accepted that they cannot force their treatment on Revan. He didn’t exactly shoo me out the hatch, but didn’t encourage me to leave.

“Yuthura, there’s something that I must know: did you return to the Order because of him?”

I pitched my head to one side at hearing a question with such an obvious answer. “Of course. What other reason could you possibly believe I would have come back? I had not known about the star Forge. It wasn’t until after he came for me that I knew the Sith were on the verge of collapse.”

He gave me a much sterner expression. “That’s not what I meant and you know it.”

I crossed my arms, almost defiantly. “It’s not like that... I mean... It is, but that’s not why I’m doing this. What the Council did to Revan in the first place was unacceptable... and they intend to do it yet again.”

He looked at me with grim expression. “You know that it was because of their action that you are here now?”

I never really did consider that it was because the Council altered Darth Revan’s mind that Alex Trevelyan ever existed. Had it not been for what they did, I would likely have died on Korriban long ago. I couldn’t ignore that something really significant came from their crime, but that still didn’t give them the right to disregard his rights. I shook my head. “The ends don’t justify the means. They scorned the Revan when he sacrificed worlds in order to reinforce others during the Mandalorian Wars, yet they did the same damn thing. If they intend to continue forcing their judgment upon others against their will, then I don’t want any part of it. If they want me back, then they must accept his decision. If they intend to push the matter further, I will find Trevelyan first and defend him.”

He sighed and pulled out the chair from behind his desk and sat in it as he gave his last words to me. “I really don’t know where he is. I simply instructed him to take his ship and hide, but not to give away his location. I’m sorry if I don’t jump at the chance to help you, but I’m not ready to leave the Order over this. I helped Revan to leave, but if the Council makes a judgment to a member of the Order; it must be followed.”

I couldn’t help but wonder how he could justify what he just said. “Didn’t you try to stop Zhar and Vrook just yesterday? Wouldn’t that constitute insubordination?”

He turned his attention to the data pad on his desk and just went about business as usual. “I don’t think that Revan had been given that offer. If he didn’t want his mind altered, then he deserved a chance to leave the Order. That’s why I intervened on his behalf, but I won’t do anymore than that.”

I got on the opposite side of the desk and waited until his eyes were back on me. “Alfred, don’t you feel the least bit offended at what they did?”

He sighed and lowered the pad completely from his sight. “Whether I agree with the Council or not is irrelevant. They are the ones who have supreme command over the Order. They have supreme authority and Revan had to either accept their decision, or resign from the Order. The only other option is for the Council to accept his decision.”

When he brought up the pad to resume his reading, I grabbed it and set it on the table to ensure his undivided attention was on me. “None of those outcomes are going to happen. If Revan refuses to rejoin the Order, odds are that they will have him hunted down and brought back. What happens then? If they declare Revan a threat, would you accept their judgment when they force their... treatment on him?”

He went into deep thought for a long moment before taking the data pad off the table and handing it to me. “Here. This has various documents on Revan during the Mandalorian Wars told by people who witnessed his deeds firsthand. Maybe once you’ve read through some, you may realize exactly who the Dark Lord really was. This may give you some perspective as to why the thought of Revan’s return makes the Council quiver.”

I looked at the text on the pad, but little could be determined by that one page. I logged back to see a few dozen selections were stored on the device. “Are you... saying that what they did was right?”

“I’m trying to see both sides of this issue. And it’s not like they are... altering the man you know; they are simply keeping Revan’s memories from resurfacing further.”

I scoffed and turned away, trying to comprehend how even Alfred could suggest that what they did was acceptable. I put the pad in my pocket, but looked him directly in the eye again. “It is him, Alex Trevelyan, who doesn’t want those memories repressed. They are his to do with as he chooses, not theirs. If they believe it is their right, then they might as well say they have the right to eliminate any and all threats. War lords, Hutts, slavers... not bring them to justice... kill them! Because they know that certain individuals won’t change their ways and imprisoning them all is impossible, but because they will cause injustices to so many during their lifetime. This goes too far. Jedi do not execute or enslave prisoners, but what they propose tramples upon everything that they... that we stand for. You need to decide for yourself where your loyalties lie... to the chain of command, or the principles of the Jedi. If you choose to support those values, you would not be betraying the Council... they will have already betrayed you and all other Jedi in the Order.”

-----

Upon those words, I felt it was best for me to leave. Alfred was devoted to the Order and the Council, but when they were in conflict; he had to decide which was more important. I also couldn’t help but remember what I did five years ago and realize that I was not one to talk about loyalty or betrayal. Trust was hard to earn, but easy to lose... and I still had a long way to go before I could rightfully speak of such things.

In the end, I think I only left Alfred with some assurance that I hadn’t gone against the Order again out of rage, but to protect something I truly believed in. What exactly... I guess I really didn’t know, but it was there.
Darth_Yuthura is offline   you may:
Old 04-11-2009, 09:38 PM   #242
JediAthos
Senior Member
 
JediAthos's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,438
Current Game: Defiance
Forum Veteran Contest winner - Fan Fiction 
A nice update DY. It seems that Yuthura has begun to question her own actions or at least why she's doing what she's doing, and I wonder if reading about Revan's actions will perhaps change her mind.


"You'll find that many of the truths we cling to depend greatly on our own point of view."

JediAthos is offline   you may:
Old 05-12-2009, 03:35 AM   #243
knight 12167
Rookie
 
knight 12167's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: In Australian cyberspace
Posts: 188
I throughly enjoy this.Please continue


Never was anything great achieved without danger.
knight 12167 is offline   you may:
Old 06-11-2009, 11:48 AM   #244
Darth_Yuthura
Banned
 
Status: Banned
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Vienna
Posts: 1,585
Current Game: KOTOR III
Chapter 53:

Well it's been over a year since this started being posted on Lucasforums. I didn't expect it to go on like it had when I submitted my first chapters. Anyway, here is chapter 53 at long last. Thanks to everyone for reading.

-------

I meant what I said when I turned my back on the Jedi. I had been so angry at how Master Zhar wouldn’t accept anything other than restraining Revan’s memories indefinitely. It wasn’t a death sentence, but it followed a worse moral ambiguity than an execution.

The Council were regarded as the wisest and greatest of the Order, but I could not stand for their crime against Revan. It shocked me to the core of how they trampled upon everything that I most valued so callously. They wanted Revan as their slave, which was worse than killing him. It was as though they wanted to exploit everything from him and extract his very essence before throwing him away. I could not defeat them, so my hope was to ensure that they could never have him again.

Before I departed, I spoke with Ross and told him of my predicament and explained to him why I needed to leave. I didn’t expect him to be all too ready to follow suite, despite my advice. I strongly encouraged him not to resign because of me, but when I told him about the High Council’s crime... his faith was shaken.

Alfred took the news better than he did five years ago. I think that this time, he knew I was doing it for a cause that I truly believed in. In addition, I had every expectation to return after the Council acknowledged its guilt and accepted that they cannot force their treatment on Revan. He didn’t exactly shoo me out the hatch, but didn’t encourage me to leave.

“Yuthura, there’s something that I must know: did you return to the Order because of him?”

I pitched my head to one side at hearing a question with such an obvious answer. “Of course. What other reason could you possibly believe I would have come back? I had not known about the star Forge. It wasn’t until after he came for me that I knew the Sith were on the verge of collapse.”

He gave me a much sterner expression. “That’s not what I meant and you know it.”

I crossed my arms, almost defiantly. “It’s not like that... I mean... It is, but that’s not why I’m doing this. What the Council did to Revan in the first place was unacceptable... and they intend to do it yet again.”

He looked at me with grim expression. “You know that it was because of their action that you are here now?”

I never really did consider that it was because the Council altered Darth Revan’s mind that Alex Trevelyan ever existed. Had it not been for what they did, I would likely have died on Korriban long ago. I couldn’t ignore that something really significant came from their crime, but that still didn’t give them the right to disregard his rights. I shook my head. “The ends don’t justify the means. They scorned the Revan when he sacrificed worlds in order to reinforce others during the Mandalorian Wars, yet they did the same damn thing. If they intend to continue forcing their judgment upon others against their will, then I don’t want any part of it. If they want me back, then they must accept his decision. If they intend to push the matter further, I will find Trevelyan first and defend him.”

He sighed and pulled out the chair from behind his desk and sat in it as he gave his last words to me. “I really don’t know where he is. I simply instructed him to take his ship and hide, but not to give away his location. I’m sorry if I don’t jump at the chance to help you, but I’m not ready to leave the Order over this. I helped Revan to leave, but if the Council makes a judgment to a member of the Order; it must be followed.”

I couldn’t help but wonder how he could justify what he just said. “Didn’t you try to stop Zhar and Vrook just yesterday? Wouldn’t that constitute insubordination?”

He turned his attention to the data pad on his desk and just went about business as usual. “I don’t think that Revan had been given that offer. If he didn’t want his mind altered, then he deserved a chance to leave the Order. That’s why I intervened on his behalf, but I won’t do anymore than that.”

I got on the opposite side of the desk and waited until his eyes were back on me. “Alfred, don’t you feel the least bit offended at what they did?”

He sighed and lowered the pad completely from his sight. “Whether I agree with the Council or not is irrelevant. They are the ones who have supreme command over the Order. They have supreme authority and Revan had to either accept their decision, or resign from the Order. The only other option is for the Council to accept his decision.”

When he brought up the pad to resume his reading, I grabbed it and set it on the table to ensure his undivided attention was on me. “None of those outcomes are going to happen. If Revan refuses to rejoin the Order, odds are that they will have him hunted down and brought back. What happens then? If they declare Revan a threat, would you accept their judgment when they force their... treatment on him?”

He went into deep thought for a long moment before taking the data pad off the table and handing it to me. “Here. This has various documents on Revan during the Mandalorian Wars told by people who witnessed his deeds firsthand. Maybe once you’ve read through some, you may realize exactly who the Dark Lord really was. This may give you some perspective as to why the thought of Revan’s return makes the Council quiver.”

I looked at the text on the pad, but little could be determined by that one page. I logged back to see a few dozen selections were stored on the device. “Are you... saying that what they did was right?”

“I’m trying to see both sides of this issue. And it’s not like they are... altering the man you know; they are simply keeping Revan’s memories from resurfacing further.”

I scoffed and turned away, trying to comprehend how even Alfred could suggest that what they did was acceptable. I put the pad in my pocket, but looked him directly in the eye again. “It is him, Alex Trevelyan, who doesn’t want those memories repressed. They are his to do with as he chooses, not theirs. If they believe it is their right, then they might as well say they have the right to eliminate any and all threats. War lords, Hutts, slavers... not bring them to justice... kill them! Because they know that certain individuals won’t change their ways and imprisoning them all is impossible, but because they will cause injustices to so many during their lifetime. This goes too far. Jedi do not execute or enslave prisoners, but what they propose tramples upon everything that they... that we stand for. You need to decide for yourself where your loyalties lie... to the chain of command, or the principles of the Jedi. If you choose to support those values, you would not be betraying the Council... they will have already betrayed you and all other Jedi in the Order.”

-----

Upon those words, I felt it was best for me to leave. Alfred was devoted to the Order and the Council, but when they were in conflict; he had to decide which was more important. I also couldn’t help but remember what I did five years ago and realize that I was not one to talk about loyalty or betrayal. Trust was hard to earn, but easy to lose... and I still had a long way to go before I could rightfully speak of such things.

In the end, I think I only left Alfred with some assurance that I hadn’t gone against the Order again out of rage, but to protect something I truly believed in. What exactly... I guess I really didn’t know, but it was there.

-----

I had met up with Ross in the Temple’s hanger shortly after that, but he brought someone with him. At first, I thought Alastria... that was her name again... had come to let me know how much she appreciated me assaulting her master. Instead, she seemed interested in joining us.

“This is not just a trip; we’re leaving the Order. If Ross reconsiders, he could at least say that he was just following me, but you would have no justification if you came along. I don’t think you would wish to leave so soon after your return.”

“Yesh, yeah.” She replied.

I didn’t understand how she could just disregard her future like that. After all I went through for her, I couldn’t help feeling offended that she would have just abandoned the Order so easily. “So is that it? Both of you are just going to abandon everything that you’ve worked for all your lives?”

Alastria just shrugged her shoulders. “I’m just coming along for the ride. I’ve not been allowed to leave the Temple and I’m not sure you even know where to look for Revan. Besides, I would like to see exactly what you’ve been teaching him.” she gestured to her brother.

Ross didn’t look at her directly as he explained that I had only been his master for a matter of three weeks.

She then looked as though to study what seemed so remarkable about me. “Well considering that you tried to kill my master, I don’t want him to blame me for just letting you go. Someone has to keep track of both of you.”

I couldn’t keep back a smile. “In that case... welcome aboard. I guess that you can always say that you came to watch out for Ross... not that you were leaving the Order.”

“No, you can keep him. I’ve done more for him than I was ever obligated.” Then she just walked off and went through the open hatch of the closest ship.

Ross was hurt by what she just said, but only because he didn’t yet know about what she did for him after she had been left to take care of him on Serocco. I looked back to him and softly explained what was going on. “She’s been with the Sith a long time. If she is difficult to deal with, just try and tolerate it. Her attitude will gradually change.”

“What did she mean by that? I thought that she wanted to come along so we could spend some time with one another.” He sighed and looked towards the open hatch. “She doesn’t want to talk to me and when I try to speak to her, Alastria only says what’s minimally necessary. She just... doesn’t want anything to do with me.”

“Just give her some time. Her world is upside-down right now and it will take time for to adapt. The best thing is to just let her proceed at her own pace.” I patted his shoulder and followed her into the ship. “In the meantime, let’s get going.”

It was surprising just how easy it was to take a ship from the Temple’s hanger. Just about anyone with the rank of padawan could get passed security and any ship was up for grabs. Given that I had insulted and harassed the Council members present, I didn’t really ask for authorization to use a ship. Ross happened to notice. “Yuthura... if you’ve resigned from the Order... isn’t this stealing?”

Alexus replied, annoyed. “Oh please. Of course it’s stealing.”

I stared at one sibling who really had a problem with it and one who really didn’t seem to care one way or another. I looked to Ross. “I have every intent to return this vessel afterward. If it bothers you, then you don’t have to come along. If you want to stay behind...”

“No. I can just imagine three sith packed in the same ship. Someone needs to make sure you don’t kill each other.” he replied.

Alastria laughed out loud. Although it wasn’t the kind of laugh you hear after a really good joke, it was a pleasant thing to hear from one as somber as her. A short takeoff later, and one of them finally asked the question. “So where exactly are we going?”

“Dantooine. That’s the most logical place Revan would go at a time like this.”

Alastria didn’t turn her head. “He’s not on Dantooine.”

I turned my seat completely around to face her directly. “And how would you happen to know that?”

She didn’t make eye contact with me. “The Council has a contact on Dantooine. If Revan had showed up, he would have alerted them as to his whereabouts.”

“And how would you know about that?” I asked in a fairly intimidating manner.

She then looked me in the eye. “I’m close to a Council member. I know many things.”

I sat back and crossed my arms in a relaxing way. “Well then... should I assume you also know where we should head to?”

“No, I had been under the impression that you knew exactly where he was. If this is just going to be several days in hyperspace with no idea where we’re going, I have no interest in coming along.”

I leaned my head back and sighed in frustration. “I didn’t ask either of you to come along. That is part of the reason why. I’m going to be looking for Revan and I’ll eventually find him. However, I don’t know exactly where he is. If you don’t want to sit around in this cramped space for what will likely be days, then you should not accompany me.”

Before I could start the launch preparations, Ross held back my wrist from the control panel. “Maybe this isn’t the best course of action. Have you even heard back from Revan?”

After a painfully long moment, I answered. “No.”

“Do you see any reason why you should try to find him? If he’s gone somewhere to hide, do you really expect that you will find him?”

When he presented that question, I knew that he was right. He hadn’t left any indication as to where he had gone and hasn’t made contact with me or anyone. What could I possibly have hoped to accomplish by just dropping everything and heading after him? I pulled my hand away and stood up. “I still can’t remain here; I’ve resigned from the Order.” I gestured to Ross. “But I don’t want you to come with me. I think it would be best for you to remain with the Order. If you should leave, it should be for your own reasons, not mine.”

Suddenly, the massive hanger doors began to slide open. I turned around and saw an incoming ship approaching the Temple. I didn’t exactly have to identify the ship to know who was on board. “That must be Master Vandar’s vessel. He was scheduled to return at about this time.”

“So now what?” Ross asked.

I faced both him and Alastria. “I suppose that Vandar deserves an explanation from me, personally. After that, I’ll just leave this place quietly. I won’t steal anything.”

I turned around and stepped off the ship, leaving them behind. I heard them talking after I had gone, but I couldn’t hear what they said. I walked towards the ship as it landed and a moment after its engines powered down, Master Vandar left the ship, followed by another Jedi. I stood in a location where Vandar would have had to go out of his way to approach me. I didn’t exactly want to stand in his way... rather I wanted him to see me so that he could speak to me if he wanted to. If he didn’t, he could have just gone by without having to ignore me.

Of course, he did turn for me and approached. It might have been more polite for me to walk to him at that point, but I just planted myself there and let him walk the entire twenty-meter distance between us. For one as small as him, it took a long time for him to eventually close that distance; but he held his hands behind his back and spoke to me in the same pleasant voice he always used. “I’ve just been told a very disturbing series of recent events. I think you should come with me. We have much to discuss.”

“How recent are you talking about?”

He turned to the hanger’s entrance into the temple and gestured me to come along. “I was told that you and Atris have had another confrontation.”

I turned and kept at his side as he proceeded into the temple. It was rather difficult to do keep pace with him, as he walked very slowly in comparison to one my size; but obviously it was I who had to follow him. I looked over my shoulder and saw Ross and Alastria were there to follow as well.

When they came along, Vandar’s escort noticed. “Master?”

He turned about and address them. “Padawan, this is a matter that we’d prefer you not be involved in. Please leave us.” Then he faced his escort. “You too, Fulvio.”

Fulvio bowed to Vandar. “I’ll take my leave now, Master.”

Ross just bowed, but didn’t say any parting words.

Vandar then looked back to Alastria. “I’ve also been told that Master Vrook has just regained consciousness. If you wish to see him, you should go on ahead. After that, we’ll be needing him.”

She didn’t say anything either, nor did she even bow. Alastria just nodded her head one time, went on ahead, and softly muttered without making eye contact with me. “Thanks for the... interesting trip. Call me again.”

As she moved on ahead and eventually out of sight, I turned my attention back to Vandar. “Did you know her from times before she became a Sith?”

“I’ve instructed Alastria from time to time on Dantooine, but she mostly kept to herself during her training. Did Ross tell you of the circumstances of how she was accepted into the Order?”

“She did.”

“She was... much like you when she was accepted. But where you and Master Kolchak had already been aquatinted, she was alone and closed herself off from everyone around her.”

I made a sound to indicate interest. “How did she and Master Vrook get paired up?”

“I think Master Vrook understood what she had gone through and believed that the only way she would open herself to another was by starting her training before she was ready. His hope was that instead of reaching out to her, she would come to him. I don’t know for certain, but Lamar claims he became her master at Alastria’s request.”

I made an interested hum, but it came off more as a depressed exhale. “How have they gotten along since her return? I haven’t really seen her much since she returned.”

Vandar smiled. “Neither have I, but I have noticed Master Vrook has been in much higher spirit. I would assume things must be going well for them. However, we’ve got a more pressing issue at the moment. Master Atris said you spied on a private Council session... and that when you were caught, you destroyed her lightsaber.”

I stopped there and waited for Master Vandar to turn around to face me. “I was NOT caught. I confronted them when Zhar said that he would not agree to any compromise which didn’t involve wiping Revan’s mind again. I could not stand for that.”

He put his hands on his hips. “You have committed some very serious acts, Yuthura. Your assault against Masters Vrook and Zhar should have resulted in severe sanctions...”

“Revan did NOT want to have his mind tampered with. They tried to force it upon him. When I intervened, they wouldn’t yield. They committed the first overt act... therefore, I have no guilt of my actions.”

He folded his arms and went into deep thought. “When we found him, Revan’s mind had been severely damaged, but we did not know to what extent. We created a new identity for him, believing that what was left of the Dark Lord’s mind would have integrated itself with Alex Trevelyan. We eventually realized that the scattered fragments of Revan’s personality may have been enough to form a dissociative identity.”

My jaw dropped at what I heard. “He has a split-personality?”

“Not exactly. Revan suffered severe brain damage. Even if we never created a new identity for him, whatever was left of his last identity was... volatile. In order to protect Alex Trevelyan, we decided that the best course of action was to suppress those memories.”

I stared at him for a long moment, considering what was said compared to what I’ve seen of him. “You said that he had an alternate identity? If that were so, then there would have been no change to Alex Trevelyan’s personality. He has noticed a difference when old memories resurfaced, so you could integrate the two personalities. Haven’t you attempted to integrate the two personalities?”

He continued moving along. “There was no telling what would happen if we attempted to integrate potentially very dangerous memories with Trevelyan’s personality. It’s possible that what’s left of the Dark Lord’s personality would take over.”

“Possible?”

“Look, this is something that shouldn’t be made public. We are going to have a meeting in the medical ward to discuss your conduct in the last day and a half and then, after that has been cleared up, we will discuss what to do about Revan.”

I knew that when he said ‘we,’ he meant the Council; but I didn’t bring that up. I didn’t want to challenge his position right then and there. I needed to see how this played out before I could take any kind of action. Either way, he still had questions for me. “Master Zez Kai Ell said that Atris rushed to judgment on you, but that he intervened on your behalf. You had no excuse for destroying her lightsaber.”

“She stole mine and refused to return it! She accused me of being responsible for Revan... it was ‘that damned Sith,’ she said. If your intent is to throw me in a cell again...!”

He turned around and showed me the palms of his hands to gesture me to calm down. “Please! Please calm down. Master Zez Kai Ell supports you on this... that Atris has her own misconduct to answer for. We are not interested in punishing you; we just want to deal with this conflict before it gets even more out of hand.”

I sighed. “I’ll go along with this for now, but if Atris provokes me; she had better watch out.”

“If Atris says or implies anything provocative to you, I will deal with the matter. I know your feelings for each other and they will not influence our judgment... that goes for both of you.”

He turned around again to continue on his way for the medical ward. I had little confidence in the outcome, but I had been more interested in their deliberations in regards to Revan than for me.

-------

When we reached the ward, he insisted that to go in first; but that didn’t keep Atris from complaining at the first sight of me. “We have more pressing issues to deal with. If she wants to leave, just let her.”

“Enough, Atris. We’re addressing this matter now because you escalated the issue in the first place.” Vandar declared.

Master Zez Kai Ell approached him and presented a very pleasant smile before kneeling and embracing the little master. “It’s good to see you again. It’s been almost... five years ago.”

A moment after I backed away, I felt a hand upon my shoulder and turned to find Alfred had been invited as well. He embraced me for some reason and quickly let go. “You have no idea how happy I am to see you again. I didn’t think that after all those years, you’d ever come back.”

I realized that he had just been making a joke and played along. “What? No tears this time?”

“I know how much you don’t want that, so I won’t embarrass you.”

I smiled before looking to who else had been in the room. Masters Zhar and Vrook were in medical beds. Alastria had been speaking with her master and Bastila had huddled in a corner, away from everyone else.

I looked back to my master and gestured to the others. “Why are you here? What’s this about?”

“This is an official Council meeting to discuss... recent events. I was a part of that as well.” His expression became more serious. “I wish you wouldn’t provoke others when you don’t have to. You would have had their sympathy before, but you threw it away. If you are sanctioned for doing the wrong thing, you’ll deserve what you get.”

“What they did was wrong...”

“No, I mean for the second incident between you and Atris. That was uncalled for. I’ll support you because you were defending Revan, but nothing beyond that. Is that clear?”

I felt as though I had been struck down and shrunk away from his presence. I actually wanted to see how Vrook and Alastria got along with each other, so I took a place where I could overhear their conversation without being involved. It seemed strange to see Vrook or Alastria smile... especially while they interacted with one another.

Vrook had been in bed and held one of her hands before saying some encouraging words. “Typical... acting before thinking. I’m sure that you’ve learned that lesson a long time ago.”

“I had to. The Sith didn’t tolerate mistakes.” She inhaled deeply, almost too embarrassed to admit her next words. “I never really appreciated why you were so hard on me, but now that I look back... you taught me some of life’s most valuable lessons. Sure enough, if I didn’t correct for my deficiencies; others would have exploited them.”

He smiled and rubbed the side of her face. “That’s a hard lesson for some to learn. It’s difficult to look ourselves in the mirror and recognize our own weaknesses, but those who do are the first to act on them.”

She gently pulled his hand away and placed it at his side. I couldn’t see her face, but I could tell she had been very saddened. “I wouldn’t give myself that much credit. There was one weakness that I could exploit from all Sith... they all sought power and I didn’t.”

“Power didn’t interest you?”

She shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know.”

He leaned up to a sitting position and spoke to the one in the bed next to him. “Master Zhar... did you hear that? Alastria isn’t interested in power. There may be hope for her yet!” Then he chuckled and laid back down.

What Vrook said frustrated me greatly. He never really recognized that I had no interest in power when I returned to the Order, but he so proudly praised his padawan for having nothing worth fighting for. As much as I wanted to make my feelings known, I just sighed in disgust and raised my voice to address everyone there. “Can we just start this damn meeting?! I’m past caring at this point!”

Everyone in that room turned their focus on me, most seemed just irritated at my whining. Alfred grabbed my shoulders and pulled me away as if I were a child, but I twisted my way out of his grasp and faced him. “I’m not a padawan anymore, Alfred! What I do here, I’m responsible for. Please... don’t make me fight you as well.”

Master Zez Kai Ell approached from my right side. “Yuthura, please calm down. I know you’re angry, but if you would just remain patient a little while longer; we’ll address your concerns.” He looked to the others. “As Master Vrook and Master Zhar are confined to bed for the next few days, we are going to hold an official Council session here.”

Alastria didn’t have to be asked to leave; she knew that there were only a few minutes to speak with her master and ensure he was alright. “I assume I’m not invited, so I’ll take my leave now.” As she walked by, Alastria didn’t so much as make eye contact with me. I found that offensive, as I felt that we were... maybe not friends, but worthy enough for a glance.

I remembered how Alastria seemed very proper for a Sith, but the same attitude seemed very rude for a Jedi. I found it particularly offensive because of my relationship with Ross, but I might have reacted in the same way to someone who tried to kill Alfred. Of course, Alfred would never have attempted something as heinous as what Vrook did.

Alfred cautiously put his hand upon my shoulder, likely fearing that I would go berserk at the slightest agitation. “I know you’re under a lot of tension right now, but please just try to remain at peace. Whether what they say is true or not, please just try not to react. That will only make the situation worse.”

I inhaled deeply and let that breath slowly escape my lungs. “You’re right... as usual. I just wish Revan were here. Do you seriously not know where he went?”

“I only lead him to the Ebon Hawk and told him to find somewhere safe. I assumed that he would have contacted us by now.” he answered.

I turned my head to look him in the eye, but before I could speak, Master Vandar started. “Alfred Kolchak, Yuthura Ban, we have called you here in order to resolve the matters that have taken place in the last two days.” He stepped up to Alfred. “Master Kolchak, although it was not made explicit, you knew that we did not want Revan to leave the temple. In aiding him, you deliberately went against our wishes. Were you aware that such insubordination is punishable by the reduction of rank from Master to knight?”

“Yes. I was aware of the consequences. I knowingly defied the will of the Council and will accept responsibility for my part in helping Revan.” He obediently stated.

“We’ll come back to that.” Vandar stated as he turned his eyes upon me. “Since Master Zez Kai Ell was present, I will have him address Yuthura’s actions.” He gestured ZKE to resume after he stepped aside.

Master Zez Kai Ell nodded and came up to me. “Yuthura Ban, spying on a closed Council session is a very serious matter and holds very steep sanctions. Although we held it in a medical ward, you knew that we were holding a private meeting. We found out how you did it, so this matter is not in dispute. Following which, you maliciously destroyed Master Atris’ lightsaber.” He gestured to her. “She... had demanded that you be sanctioned for your actions, but we have decided against it. She has admitted that she took your lightsaber without proper cause and refused to return it.”

He gestured her to come to me and I saw my lightsaber attached to her belt. As she reached for it, I extended my hand and took hold of it through the Force. When it detached from her side and shot into my hand, Atris looked at me as though I stuffed a lemon into her mouth.

I quickly pocketed the weapon to indicate that I had no intent to use it, but everyone else took it as a hostile act that I did. ZKE stared at Atris for a short moment and continued. “She has agreed to return your lightsaber and not to press the matter further. No sanctions will be placed upon either of you. You have your lightsaber back now... no harm done.”

I didn’t make any gestures and gave him only my silence. Alfred softly sighed, though.

ZKE continued. “We have also debated your spying on our meeting and decided that, as the session had not been formally started, we can’t expect the same rules to be upheld. Therefore, the issue of your punishment is up the medical staff... not us.”

That time, I sighed in relief. The rules of the medical staff usually quantified punishment by credits... something I didn’t have to worry about.

“Now to the original matter.” Master Zhar gestured me to come closer to him and Vrook, who were still in their medical beds. “Yuthura, I cannot overemphasize the severity of attacking another in anger. The consequences for your action would normally be exile, but the Council does not wish to pursue that end.”

I felt a little better hearing him say that I mattered. Of course, if they were open to that kind of compromise, maybe they would have reconsidered their decision about Revan. After sighing, I looked to Master Vrook. “With all due respect, aren’t I or Alfred allowed to contest our side of the matter? He doesn’t deserve...”

Vrook held up his hand to hush me. “There is nothing to contest. You both have been forgiven. As far as I’m concerned, this matter is behind us.”

Alfred had been behind me and I could hear the relief in his voice. “Are you serious?”

Zhar answered. “The last thing we need is to escalate an already tense situation further. As much as I dislike this ruling, I will not let my personal feelings interfere with my judgment. Neither of you will be arraigned, but that is due to extraordinary circumstances. Don’t mistake this for forgiveness.”

“Master Zhar...” Vandar interrupted. “The matter is closed.”

An uncomfortably long moment later, Alfred bowed to the injured masters. “Thank-you, we’re grateful for your pardon.”

I didn’t comprehend what had they had said. Forgiveness? After spitting in their faces, how could they have done something like that? When I asked to return after my time with the Sith, I had to beg for their forgiveness... and Revan had to support my petition before they gave it to me. I could not comprehend those same people suddenly doing the exact opposite and for the wrong reasons.

When Alfred completed his bow, he looked to me as though to silently tell me ‘say thank-you, Yuthura.’

When Vandar accepted silence for my answer, he dismissed us, hoping never to look back upon the events that transpired in the last two days.
Darth_Yuthura is offline   you may:
Old 06-11-2009, 11:13 PM   #245
JediAthos
Senior Member
 
JediAthos's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,438
Current Game: Defiance
Forum Veteran Contest winner - Fan Fiction 
I wasn't shocked by Zez Kai Ell's intervention but I have to say I didn't anticipate the Council simply dismissing Yuthura and Alfred's actions.

I wonder if maybe they have an ulterior motive for doing such.


"You'll find that many of the truths we cling to depend greatly on our own point of view."

JediAthos is offline   you may:
Old 06-14-2009, 07:53 PM   #246
Darth_Yuthura
Banned
 
Status: Banned
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Vienna
Posts: 1,585
Current Game: KOTOR III
Chapter 54:

“It’s just that... only a few days ago, I thought that I had finally found the peace and serenity that I’ve sought all my life. Now... I feel more insecure now than I’ve ever been.”

Juhani had poured a cup of Echani fire tea and set it on the table next to me. “Although I’m flattered that you turned to me for advice, I really could think of others more qualified than me. Is your old Master still alive?”

“He is. It’s just... he and I are not on good terms right now.”

She poured another cup for herself and sat across the table from me. “What happened between you two?”

“He told me that I should have shown some humility. That I should give Masters Vrook and Zhar a sincere apology for what I did. And that I should speak with Atris and... ‘shake hands and make up’ with her.” I sighed, my disgust very apparent.

She wrapped her fingers around that cup as if protecting it from harm. It had been so hot that she had to loosen her grip and instead took hold with her index fingers and thumbs planted near the rim, where the cup wasn’t as scalding. A small gesture, but it seemed to show that she was nervous. “Alex once said that small gestures often are what make the most difference. It’s easy to say ‘please,’ ‘excuse me,’ ‘thank-you.’ Even if they aren’t deserved, speaking such words are easy and often better than not.”

I could tell that she wasn’t being entirely honest with me. Although she didn’t lie, she didn’t speak her mind fully. “So are you saying you agree with me on this issue?”

She gripped her cup again, clearly hesitant to speak her mind. “I don’t think I fully understand why you’re so bitter right now. Considering that they forgave you, I think that at least shows something. Or is something else the matter?”

I scoffed at the implication. “They didn’t forgive to excuse me; they didn’t want to address their own actions. I’ll bet that they even thought it would give them the upper hand because I can’t contest their judgment.”

“Contest what? Am I missing something here?”

“I’m not talking about myself; I’m talking about Revan. What the Council attempted to do to him? Does that read on any sensors?”

She looked as though she didn’t like what I had implied. “What they did to him? I’d been told that he was falling to the Darkside and when the Council tried to help him... he resisted.”

“Is that what they say?” I asked, contempt very apparent in my tone.

“No... they haven’t really said anything about the matter. Most of what I’ve heard are just rumor. I really don’t know what happened.”

I set down my cup on the table and stood up as if to present a lecture. “Alex Trevelyan came to be because the Council didn’t restore Revan’s damaged mind. You already know this?”

She vaguely nodded.

“Some of Revan’s memories were still intact and they started to resurface. He said that the Council created mental blocks to keep Revan’s memories from ever returning, but those have begun to break down.”

“You mean... he’s turning back into Revan... I mean the Dark Lord?”

I sat down again to look her in the eye again. “He, Alex Trevelyan, wanted to let his original memories return; but the Council demanded to let them reestablish the mental blocks. When he refused, they attempted to force it upon him. I stopped them.”

Juhani looked at me with much discomfort and didn’t know how to take the news. She didn’t believe what I said, but she didn’t sense I was lied. I didn’t take it personally, as she had been trained all her life to trust in the Council.

When I saw she didn’t know what to say, I accepted her silence. “I don’t expect you to believe me, but that’s what happened. They probably thought that they were helping him, but when he refused to accept their help; they tried to force it upon him. When I stepped in, they wouldn’t back down... that’s why I attacked Vrook and Zhar.”

She stood up and looked out a nearby window. “No, it’s not that I don’t believe you, it’s just... I’d feel better if Trevelyan were here. What you’re telling me... are you really sure? That maybe the Council were just trying to save him?”

“Save him? They didn’t have the right, and yet they tried to alter him. To manipulate him into doing their will...”

“Stop it! What you’re thinking is just insanity.” She hissed back to me.

I stood up and went to lean against the window next to Juhani and waited for her to face me. “Would you have imagined that the Council was capable of taking the Dark Lord’s mind and creating a new identity? They altered Revan’s mind and restrained what was left of him so that they could maintain control over the alias that they created... not the man he really was. When he told them that he didn’t want those memories restrained again, they should have respected his right to his own memories.”

She shook her head. “Please don’t... I know that what the Council did to Revan was wrong, but I don’t care. I think that everything worked out for the best and I wouldn’t want to see anything happen to him. Revan wouldn’t have changed if his mind was restored. It was Alex Trevelyan...”

“...who wanted those memories returned to him. It was Alex Trevelyan who was denied by the Council. What’s worse is that they thought they were entitled to do with his mind as they please.” I gently pulled her away from the window to face me directly. “Juhani, the Council cannot be allowed to make this decision for him. If he should want those memories returned to him, they mustn’t believe they have the right to interfere. If we let this pass, they will come to believe that they can trample upon anyone’s unalienable rights.”

“You’re over exaggerating. This is about saving him, Alex Trevelyan. Or at the very least, keep Revan from being reborn. I couldn’t imagine he would ever want that to happen to him again.”

I sighed in frustration. “You speak of this like it’s restoring Revan to the way he was. This is simply allowing suppressed memories to resurface. And the mind that those memories would return to is already occupied. Alex Trevelyan wouldn’t be destroyed and Revan takes his place... he would simply acquire memories that weren’t there before.”

She looked at me, almost with pity. “You seem to have made up your mind already. I’m afraid that I’m not so brave to oppose the Council as you.”

We stared at one another for a long moment before I realized that she was loyal to the Council and wouldn’t help me. I felt like pealing to her experience as a slave, but that was a very sensitive subject... not one of which was appropriate to speak of at that time, so I turned to leave. “The Council are not always right. We don’t simply owe them our services, but our judgment. And we betray them if we sacrifice it for their opinion.” I bowed. “Thanks for the tea.”

------

It was very disconsoling to have Trevelyan gone while his fate had been decided from behind closed doors. I simply wanted to know that he was alright, but as the following day turned to night; I became increasingly concerned, as I received no word from him. Normally I wouldn’t have given it a second thought, but I couldn’t help but wonder if Trevelyan didn’t simply go into hiding. If Revan’s personality has started taking control, then I might have just doomed the one I wanted to save.

At the same time, I feared what the Council had in mind for him. I didn’t fear so much what they had planned for Trevelyan as what they were capable of. Those who lead must hold themselves to a higher standard than their followers, but what the Council did defied everything they claimed to value. The first time they altered Revan might have been justified under the circumstances, but forcing it upon Alex Trevelyan went too far.

It was a difficult situation every way I looked at it. I seemed to be the only one who thought what they did was wrong, I knew that it was wrong, but with everyone else telling me different... I just couldn’t be sure. Maybe it really was me.

The only ones who could address my concerns were the ones I couldn’t trust. It wasn’t like I could just go up and ask them, let alone trust anything they said. As far as they knew, I was satisfied with being forgiven; anything I did to make them think otherwise would have lead them to the fact that I was still on to them.

After wandering around the temple for a few hours, I tried to sort out everything that’s taken place over such a short span of time. It had been only two full days since I stopped Masters Vrook and Zhar, but the hours seemed to last days. I wondered why I felt so much discombobulation when everything seemed so clear to understand. I guess it was that which made me most uncomfortable. I just couldn’t believe the Council would have resorted to something so severe. Just when I had begun to feel safe in this place... betrayal.

I should have been used to it by then, but it was Trevelyan who encouraged me to open myself to others again. I had learned to trust people like him, Alfred, and some others. Although I wouldn’t have entrusted my life to more than those closest to me, I felt that I didn’t have to question the word of anyone in the Order. For the first time, the inability to trust ‘the wisdom of the Council’ meant something to me. At first, I had been under the impression that it was just me; but they had never actually done anything to make me question their motives... until then.

When I ran into Master Kavar in the hallway, I almost didn’t notice that he had returned to the temple earlier than he was expected. “You look like you’re carrying the weight of the whole Galaxy on your shoulders.”

“I wouldn’t go that far. I’m just an angry, little Sith trying to change an entire Galaxy. I don’t know if my mind is just maladjusted, or that everyone’s balls just dropped off.” I answered.

Kavar’s expression was a mix of concern, confusion, and amusement. He tried not to chuckle, but he couldn’t fully restrain it. When he saw my reaction, Kavar just smiled openly to me. “I’m sorry. You just... you have a way with words.”

I couldn’t help but smile in return. It seemed surprising how much a warm expression could lighten the mood. “I suppose I do. What are you doing here? I thought you and Master Vash were going to be at least another few days.”

He smiled almost smugly. “I’ve had a plan ready to transfer command of my forces and just had to implement it ahead of time. Master Vash will still need another day before Admiral Onasi can take over for her forces.”

“How much longer will it be before this war is officially over?”

He sighed. “The war was over when the Star Forge was destroyed, but any remnant Sith forces will continue fighting to the last man. Whenever that is... Whatever are left pose no real threat to the Republic, but the fleet will likely be dealing with them for months yet.”

“Good riddance.” After observing another expression from him that I could read as disappointment, I changed the subject. “So what happens now? I was told that all of you returned early because of me?”

He folded his arms and studied me as if to silently say ‘how the hell could you possibly have stopped two Council members like that?’ Even Revan would have thought twice before trying something like that. I found it interesting just how apparent his thoughts were by his expression, considering that he was supposed to keep his thoughts hidden.

Of course I misread his expression... “We intended to call back everyone to the temple once our part of the war effort has been concluded. I would say that you simply pushed our timetable up a few weeks.” Then he moved his head to examine the side of my face. “If I may ask, why haven’t you removed those tattoos?”

I brought my hand to my forehead and rubbed the areas as if there were a texture to them. Obviously there wasn’t any contrast that I could feel between the ink in my skin and the natural violet, but I still brushed my figure tips over them, knowing that they were still there. “There aren’t any regulations on body art. A traditional dress code maybe, but I haven’t found anything regarding tattoos.”

“Maybe, but Sith tattoos aren’t exactly what we had in mind. We have issues with people regarding Sith and Jedi the same way and when one of our own bears symbols of the enemy, it doesn’t really help the matter.”

I sighed and glared at him. “When the Council believes it has the right to manipulate people’s minds, that doesn’t help matters much either.”

“Masters Vrook and Zhar weren’t altering him; they were just trying to reinforce the mental blocks that already exist.”

“He didn’t want that done. When they tried to force it on him, he resisted. Didn’t that give you some indication as to why he went into hiding? He wanted those memories, they are his real memories, and you can’t deny them to him. You didn’t have the right to deny them in the first place.”

He diverted his attention to a padawan who had been passing nearby. He had been staring at me, but turned away once Kavar looked him in the eye. At first, I thought he did that for my sake, but he really just wanted the adolescent boy to continue on his way.

When the boy moved out of earshot, Kavar didn’t look my in the eye, but put me in the corner of his vision. “We’ve found Revan.”

I felt a tense surge of concern. The way he said those words sounded as though he had more to tell me... something I didn’t want to hear. Only I hated waiting for bad news to come. “What happened?”

He gave me a confused look. “Nothing. We simply found where he is hiding.”

“And?” I spoke in a threatening manner.

“Apparently, he has a wookie friend that offered him safe passage to his home world. An ideal place to hide, as the wookies have sealed themselves off from outsiders.”

I didn’t know much about Kassyak, but I knew it was among the most difficult places to search for a Jedi. It teemed with life, making it hard to triangulate where a specific Jedi would have been. It was inhabited by a civilization of strong beings who were extremely Xenophobic. And if that weren’t enough, the entire planet was a hostile environment for all but the toughest species.

Despite that, I still couldn’t underestimate the Council’s resolve or their wits. “Alright... now that you found him, what happens now?”

He sighed and folded his arms across his chest. “We’re not going to try and capture him, if that’s what you’re asking. He needs to return here and he has to come back willingly. We haven’t contacted...”

I glared as I interrupted him. “I won’t let you alter his mind again! If he comes...”

“Listen!” he shouted. “We’ve attempted to contact him, but got no response. We simply want him where we can keep track of his location... that is all we demand at the moment. We are sending someone to Kassyak to determine where he is and, if she finds him, to speak to him directly on our behalf. I would...”

By ‘she,’ I assumed he must have meant me. “If I find him, I’ll inform him of what you really mean. I won’t...”

“Muzzle it!” He shouted with extreme authority. That was like a slap in my face, but it actually made me less inclined to talk back. When he knew I got the message, he resumed. “We are sending Bastila to Kassyak on our behalf. We want you to go as well.” He took a deep inhale as if to release all the tension within him. When he continued, his tone was more subtle. “Because of their bond, Revan would know that what she tells him would be the truth. We want Revan to return, but we are not going to do any more than keep an eye on him. Master Zez Kai Ell and I have insisted that you be with Bastila for this. If Revan still has suspicions of our intentions, then it would be prudent to hear the same thing from someone who stands on the opposite side of the matter.”

I remained silent for a long moment as I considered what he suggested. “An ally and an enemy both telling him the same thing?”

“Exactly. We only want Revan to return to the temple. If his memories are returning, they may pose a risk to himself and to others.”

“How do I know that you won’t try and force your treatment on him again?”

“You have my word.” he answered. “We’re not going to be able to apprehend him, so he has to return willingly. We don’t want his memories to manifest themselves if he is going to shut us out, so we will have to deal with the matter in another way.”

I didn’t sense any deception from him, but I wouldn’t have been surprised if he could hide his true thoughts from me. There was an unofficial policy among the Order that we weren’t to question the word of anyone with the title ‘Jedi,’ but I didn’t really know whether or not I could trust the Council again after what they’ve done. Of course, there was another who’s mind was easier to read than Kavar’s. “Where is Bastila now?”

He smiled. “She’ll be in hanger 2 in 30 minutes.” He gestured away with his head. “You should be ready to leave by then.”

“And are we to do this alone?” I asked.

“We don’t want to give Revan the impression that we’re sending a strike force to capture him. And I don’t think the Wookies would appreciate having a... team of off-worlders walking about. I’m sure you would understand why.”

“Why?”

He stared at me as though I were dense or something. “Slavers...”

I shook my head. “You really don’t know that much about slaving operations, do you? If someone wanted to capture Wookiee slaves, they would have to send a small army... any fools sending less than that wouldn’t stand a chance. That’s why most slaving organizations are as large as interplanetary corporations.”

“Alright, alright. But Wookies still don’t like outsiders. And to answer your question: yes, we are sending only you and Bastila.”

I sighed and leaned my head back, allowing my lekku to slide off my shoulders and dangle freely. I knew I was going to dread what had been coming up. Bastila and I often didn’t get along. It might have seemed that we would’ve been friends to the other Jedi, considering our backgrounds; but only because they didn’t understand the Sith as we did. Although Jedi normally were prejudicial to Sith, people like us actually knew one another.

Before I could complete the thought, Kavar looked around my head and at my lekku. “Don’t they get in the way when you’re fighting? They look dangerously exposed.”

“Well... let’s just say that I wouldn’t use the Shien form.” That was the backhanded lightsaber form that placed my blade of energy only centimeters away from the head tails. “I just have to wrap them around my neck, but I just had to get used to the discomfort. When they get pinched between my neck and shoulders, that’s like...” I gestured to his lower section. “I think it’s like how you males get used to... that collection of objects in your trousers.”

He looked down, almost embarrassed, and chuckled. “I won’t comment on that. What I meant was that you might want to consider getting a headband that would allow you tie those against your back so that you wouldn’t have you worry about them so much in a fight.”

I held my lekku against my back and twisted my neck a bit to see how uncomfortable that was. It still would have been uncomfortable, but at least would have allowed me to turn my head better than before. “You know, I must say I’m surprised that you thought of that instead of Master Zhar. How did he go about them?”

He chuckled. “He never really did. You might want to suggest that to him.”

“Maybe later. Right now, I want to go find Revan.”

Before I turned away, he had one other thing to say. “You’re calling him ‘Revan’ now?”

“That’s what he wants to be addressed by. I know that he’s not the Dark Lord at all, but if that’s what he wants to go by again...”

“Well he needs to remember who he really is and it doesn’t help for him to think of himself as the identity that he doesn’t want to become.”

Although I didn’t agree with him on that matter, I didn’t want to be stalled any longer. I didn’t even really want to carry out my assignment... as in bringing him back. I just wanted to know that he was alright. There was something that disturbed me about him being Revan... We’ve often been warned that our greatest enemies were ourselves, but something about him seemed to take that lesson to another level. Alex Trevelyan may have had an enemy from within that wasn’t a part of him at all.

I had hoped that the memories would have just become a part of him again, but what Master Vandar spoke of about a split-personality concerned me greatly. I had to know whether or not it was Alex Trevelyan, or Revan who was in control.

Last edited by Darth_Yuthura; 06-15-2009 at 02:16 PM.
Darth_Yuthura is offline   you may:
Old 06-15-2009, 02:20 PM   #247
Darth_Yuthura
Banned
 
Status: Banned
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Vienna
Posts: 1,585
Current Game: KOTOR III
Chapter 54-A:

Bastila had been in the pilot’s seat when I entered our vessel, so I didn’t have the chance to volunteer to take us out. She knew the coordinates for Kassyak, so naturally she would have been the one to take us there. If she told me that she wasn’t a trained pilot, I would have thrown her aside before we even took off. It wasn’t until the ship veered into the path of oncoming vessels that I took hold of the joystick with the Force and directed us into a steep dive to avoid a collision.

The sudden and unexpected jolt startled her greatly and despite fighting my control over the joystick, I was determined not to let us crash. When we were clear, I leveled the ship off and then stood up. While she tried to figure out what happened, I tapped her shoulder. “That’s it, I’m piloting.”

“That wasn’t me!”

“Get out of the chair! I’m flying the ship now.”

When she saw that I was the one who had control of the joystick, she unstrapped herself and did as she was told. In that brief moment, we veered towards a massive skyscraper and just as I got my hand on the joystick; I pulled us up and avoided another accident.

That jolt caused her to hit a bulkhead, but I didn’t notice. I just tried to get back into the flow of traffic without crashing into anything. By the time that we were finally where we needed to be, Bastila had gotten to the seat next to me, her palm clenched against her forehead. “What the hell is wrong with you? You nearly killed us.”

With my head fixed forward, I calmly replied. “I just saved our lives. If you didn’t know how to fly, then you shouldn’t have been in the pilot’s seat.”

After moaning softly from the pain, she pulled her hand away to see she was bleeding. “And if you were such a hotshot pilot yourself, you wouldn’t have done something so foolish as that. If you told me that in the first place, I would have given you control.”

“I had assumed you knew what you were doing. Clearly that isn’t so.” When she applied pressure upon her forehead again, I saw a stream of blood along the side of her face. “How’s the head?”

She didn’t respond.

I sighed in disgust. “Have you lost your tongue?”

She wiped away the blood with her hand and dropped it in her lap. “Like you really care.”

“Fine. The next time you’re hurt, I’ll just let you suffer in silence.”

After a moment of silence, she still wouldn’t face me. “It’s nothing.”

When our ship approached the outlet where ships transition from atmospheric flight to enter space, I pulled us up and the engines built up enough thrust and we accelerated through into the stratosphere. Although we were still low in the atmosphere, the sky in front of us was almost pitch black and stars were clearly visible.

For some reason, I didn’t want to bicker with her for the whole journey, so I faced her. “I am sorry about that. I just...”

“I said it’s nothing. Just fly the ship.”

I gave off a disgusted sigh and wondered why I bothered with her. I tried to be considerate and she just brushed me off... well I guess that was better than if Atris were here.

-----------

An hour passed with no words spoken to one another. We had an entire day of hyperspace travel and I found that the computer didn’t have a very extensive library outside of a basic database about planets and species. I felt like an idiot to not bring along something to keep my mind occupied. Bastila sat on the deck behind me meditating.

For nearly an hour, I went through the database just for the sake of keeping my mind occupied. I was bored, the time seemed to slow down, and I knew that I couldn’t stand another 19 hours being locked up in there. When I went through my pockets to see how many credits I had on me, I took out my lightsabers as well and found that datapad Alfred gave me in that same pocket. I thought it strange how I had it all this time, but I just assumed it was my lightsabers. I didn’t know whether I would have actually gone through it on my own time or not, but since I had nothing else to do; I logged onto the device and started reading.

Alfred had collected a total of 59 books, journal articles, documents, and other works that related to Revan and his Sith Empire. Few of them peaked enough interest in their title for me to select, but even fewer of them were worth reading all the way through. I did manage to find one document that had been written by Malak during his time of the Mandalorian Wars and I had been curious about him as a Jedi before he became something utterly detestable.

--------

The book actually had proven very interesting and I was impressed by how great a Jedi Malak must have been. He wrote about how he and Revan took part in many great deeds that didn’t gain recognition by the Council, but reinforced the Republic for war. He also addressed where they learned of the various Mandalorian tactics, which proved useful in the war.

The first six chapters addressed how the Council were strong to stand by their beliefs, but that they were not the enemies of the Republic. Although some who chose to back them claimed the Council were weak to stand against war, he defended that sometimes the bravest were those who stood for what they valued instead of their lives.

His impression of Revan was off, though. He spoke of ‘their’ deeds and ‘their’ judgment when it clearly had been Revan who directed both of them. Malak wasn’t as talented as his master at inspiring anything other than fear into the hearts of his enemies. History remembered Revan as the more powerful and charismatic of the pair.

As I got closer to the battle of Malachor V, I could almost see how the evil within Malak grew in those words. As Revan chose to abandon traditional tactics, it seemed that Malak began to doubt his intentions. It was when the Republic began to win under Revan’s leadership that Malak began to believe it was alright to abandon self-destructive traditions for a greater end.

The book ended with various projections of what would have happened if he and Revan didn’t intervene on the Republic’s behalf. Naturally, he claimed that they saved the Republic from defeat and gave the statistics of their battles and what they cost the Republic. ‘Only’ 86 billion lives were lost and 17 worlds sacrificed to preserve the rest of the Republic intact.

He also gave various numbers of other likely projections had he and Revan done differently. If they followed traditional Republic tactics, the Republic might have lost in excess of 550 billion lives and the destruction of another 60 to 75 Republic worlds... including as many as 15 Core Worlds.

Another scenario that he included was a ‘best-scenario defeat’ as he called it. The scenario where Coruscant was taken and the Republic forced to surrender would have come after the Mandalorians conquered over 350 worlds. The death toll in that scenario was 1.5 trillion Republic lives as well as nearly 2.5 trillion enslaved.

For some reason, I couldn’t help wondering just how many lived and died under Malak and Revan. The last scenario he gave wasn’t much worse than the actual outcome of the Sith War. There actually had been more deaths caused by that war than the first, but the Republic survived and freedom wasn’t under threat from another foreign empire. Had the two not intervened, more lives may have been saved; but as to the quality of those lives? I’m sure they would rather have died than live as slaves to be used against their own people.

When I set the pad down, I checked the clock to see that only 3 hours had passed. I looked back to confirm that Bastila still hadn’t moved out of her meditative stance. Maybe she shifted around a bit, but she just sat there with her legs crossed, fingers intertwined, and eyes closed. I couldn’t understand how she could have meditated like that for so long doing nothing while I felt absolutely bored to death... the document I read had been little better than nothing.

I finally turned my chair around and asked. “How could you still be meditating?”

“It centers oneself.” she answered, her eyes still closed and no emotion in her voice.

“How neurotic must you be to still be doing that after four hours? If it isn’t working, maybe you should try something else.”

She opened her eyes and pivoted her head over her left shoulder to make eye contact with me. “Do I seem neurotic to you? It does work.”

“Well if you’re still centering yourself, then clearly you’re not getting any closer. If you are already centered, then you’re just wasting your time.”

She harumphed and went back to meditating. “Then I’ll just waste it however I choose.”

I turned my seat back again, but then realized that I never did ask her what the Council had in mind for me and Revan. I turned around and she lifted her head right before I spoke. “What did the Council tell you?”

“Tell me?”

“About Revan. What is your part in this?”

She turned her head again to go back to her meditation. “I’m not at liberty to discuss it.”

I got out of my seat and squatted before her. “You know... I don’t really care about all the Council and its secrets. What did they tell you?”

“I don’t care what you think. I obey the Council... as will you.”

“I want to know what they told you. What difference would it make if the truth were known? Do they have something to hide?” I asked.

“Obviously they do, otherwise there would be no reason to keep it secret. Stop asking.”

I stood up and went back to my seat. “Right, if the truth were to get out, then I suppose they would lose their influence over the other Jedi. If they knew that Revan didn’t actually choose redemption, then it would cast doubt upon their rule.”

“You know nothing!” she screamed, standing up to speak down upon me. “Revan was a menace. The Council couldn’t save him, but they needed to know what he knew of the Star Forge. If he had the choice between death, or being given a new identity; he would have chosen...”

“He has chosen!” I interrupted as I stood up. After moving my face within centimeters of hers, spoke more calmly. “Alex Trevelyan had made a choice and when it didn’t meet with their approval, they stepped in and tried to coerce him into being their slave.”

“Slave?! Is that what you think he is? If anyone is manipulating him, it’s you.” Before I could talk back, she kept chattering. “Don’t you see why the Jedi forbid love? It invokes irrational actions and impairs judgment. Do you really think that he is making this choice on his own? He does it because of you!”

I furrowed my brow and lowered the volume of my voice, but spoke with great anger in my tone. “Do you think I want this? Do you think I want him to become more like a man who I would detest? If anything, I told him not to let the memories return. He said that he wanted his real memories back. He wants to be called by his real name.”

“He is Alex Trevelyan.”

“He was Revan up until the Council found him and made him who they wanted him to be! He had been given no choice and even when he said ‘no,’ they still forced it upon him. Now I ask you... if you force something upon another against their explicit refusal, that is not the way of the Jedi.” I returned to my seat and faced myself forward into the vast blankness of hyperspace.

A moment after that, Bastila got in the seat next to me. “Since you already know the truth, I suppose that I wouldn’t exactly... defile their trust to speak of a matter that you already know.”

“So you’re admitting that what they did was wrong?”

She frowned at me. “They aren’t fools, nor did they delude themselves into thinking that Revan redeemed himself. They know that they killed him. They know that Revan died under their care... not when Malak fired on his ship.” She then gave me a smug look. “Alright? Is that what you wanted to hear?”

I crossed my arms and leaned my seat back. “It’s what I want to hear, yes; but I want to hear it from them... as they admit to everyone exactly what they’ve done.”

She turned her seat forward to avoid having to reply.

“Why have they not? The Star Forge was destroyed long ago and his purpose has been served. There is no need to keep it secret any longer.” I told her.

“Yes there is. Revan had many enemies. What do you think it would do to Alex Trevelyan if the truth became public knowledge? He has a reputation for having nearly conquered the galaxy on his own. Turning back to the lightside and becoming more powerful because of it only makes him appear more invincible. Once it is learned that the Dark Lord was indeed dead and that Alex Trevelyan is a completely different person would detract everything from that reputation... make him seem weak. Then what if one of Revan’s enemies should want to strike at him?”

I shook my head. “This isn’t about one man... this is about the Council. This is about them believing in their own supremacy that they have become infallible. With that belief, tied to having supreme power over the Order, makes them no better than Sith Lords.”

She burst out laughing in utter disbelief. “Sith Lords?! Well then you must feel right at home. They are the wisest of the Order... naturally we should look to our elders, parents, teachers, masters, superiors, or anyone else who have the wisdom to lead. The measure of the Council’s power is their knowledge. If you proclaim that they have supreme power, it only goes to show the extent of their wisdom.”

I released a long, disgusted sigh. “And what if your master instructed you to do something that you knew to be wrong? If they trample upon the very thing that we are out trying to protect, their wisdom is moot.”

“The bloodshed over the last nine years would have been avoided had Revan and the others trusted them. It was only when Revan and Malak defied them that all this came about. Only when he, as Alex Trevelyan, followed them again that the Star Forge had been destroyed. You cannot make your point because your argument doesn’t hold water.”

“You stupid fool...” I felt the urge to strangle her, but got a hold of my senses. There wasn’t anything I could do about stupidity and using physical force wouldn’t have forced the truth into her. “What you said is true, but don’t proclaim that the Council is always right. I happen to have an alternate theory: that if we had trusted in the Council, the Mandalorian threat wouldn’t have been neutralized.” I pointed my finger at her to emphasize my point, which really irritated her. “You cannot deny that Revan delivered a solution and the Council did not.”

She looked at me as though I stuffed a lemon into her mouth. “Revan only used the war for propaganda. He saw an opportunity to elevate himself and grab power and that was the reason he urged the Jedi into that war. That was how he inevitably became the Dark Lord.”

“He was the only one to step up and face the threat. The Council could have taken action earlier and lead the way instead of Revan.”

“Revan was not the Council. He should have respected their choice. It was because of him that one fifth of the Order went to that war. It was always his opposition to the Council that divided the Order.”

In a less confrontatious tone, I calmly suggested “You’re right, he wasn’t. So how exactly did he manage to turn one fifth of the Order to his cause? One fifth of the Order!”

“He lied to them. He spoke of a righteous cause to defend the innocent, ‘because the Council are making a mistake,’ and that the Republic would fall without Jedi support. If they had actually taken into consideration that it was what the Mandalorians wanted us to do, they would not have been so quick to play into the hands of the enemy.”

I slowly let our a breath that seemed to indicate my level of frustration and leaned my head back. Then I thought of something to prove my point better than my words: Malak’s words. I grabbed the data pad and tossed it on the console in front of her. “Here, read.”

She was slow to pick it up, but quick to dismiss the document. “I already have. The whole purpose of this was to glorify their defiance and justify their part in the war. I truly hope that you don’t believe all this.”

“Not all of it, just the verses which are backed by facts. After the war, many within the Republic viewed the Council with contempt and Revan and Malak as heroes. They dealt with the threat and that was what allowed them to gather so much support. If they hadn’t turned to the Sith, then the outcome would have been better than anything the Council could ever have hoped for.”

“But that wasn’t the end of it of... the war changed them and it was the power they gathered during the war that corrupted them. If they hadn’t taken part in the war, the second wouldn’t have taken place.”

“I think I’m having a conversation with one of the bulkheads! If the Council had listened to Revan in the first place and had joined the war in the first place, it would have been Master Kavar and not Revan who would have become the war hero. If the Council were so wise, then why did they not consider that so many of their followers would’ve gone rogue? How can you trust them if they don’t respect anyone’s judgment other than their own?”

She sighed and covered her face with her hand. “It’s obvious that we are not going to agree on this. Whatever is done has been done; there is no point in rehashing old mistakes when we should be trying to work together on this matter.” She then turned her seat to address me directly. “I’m serving as a proxy to the Council. Because of our Force bond, he would know that I’m speaking the truth. The Council just wants him to be returned to the temple... they are not going to do any more than that.”

“And I’m supposed to just believe you?”

She shrugged her shoulders. “If Alex does, would you be satisfied then?”

I gave her one slight nod and turned myself forward again to watch the hyperspace corridor as it seemed to stretch into infinity. Bastila got up and went back to her meditation while I pondered what history could have been like if... and I considered a number of scenarios that could have been far much better and so few seemed much worse than the current one we were in.

For some reason, I didn’t seem to factor in to any of it. Although I have been given another chance to live by Alex Trevelyan, I realized how small I was compared to everything else that had happened in the last 10 years. Odds were that my name would have been forgotten once I died while Revan, Bastila, and those of the Council had already carved out their places in the history books. I guess that it was best that I didn’t have anything to take pride in, or I might have become as smug and arrogant as Vrook, Malak, or anyone else like them.

As I stared at the corridor, my mind drifted into unconsciousness...
Darth_Yuthura is offline   you may:
Old 06-17-2009, 08:38 PM   #248
HIGH ON PIE 14
Forumite
 
HIGH ON PIE 14's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Fighting for TSCC
Posts: 509
An interesting last few chapters DY!

After reading these I am even more suspicious of the council than before. Though they dont want to address their mistakes, I wonder if they had ulterior motives for pardoning Yuthera...and now with trying to get Revan to come back to the temple...very fishy.

Another element I liked about these chapters are how you displayed various levels of corruption and self-righteousness in the council members. Atris is certainly the most self-absorbed and corrupted while it seems that Vandar can be more understanding though still corrupt to a degree. Bastila and Yuthera's arguement was well thought out and presented good arguements for both sides though I'm still inclined to agree that the council is more corrupt than anything else.

Only one minor correction - Kashyyyk

Overall, these were thought-provoking and well scripted chapters which I have come to expect from you.

P.S. Sorry for the long absense.

~HOP



Viva La Resistance!
HIGH ON PIE 14 is offline   you may:
Old 06-18-2009, 12:43 AM   #249
Darth_Yuthura
Banned
 
Status: Banned
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Vienna
Posts: 1,585
Current Game: KOTOR III
I am glad that so many continue to read, even though I continue to follow the same 'demonize the Council' approach. I've actually got more in mind than to just trash them again and again. Maybe there will come a point when Yuthura doesn't see beyond a greater good and actually cause something that the Council wanted to avoid altogether.

There was a point to the conversation about 'stepping over the bodies of the dead to safeguard those still living.' Despite one's crimes, there comes a point when you must put everything aside in order to deal with the situation at hand. This will become more apparent as it becomes more personal for Yuthura.
Darth_Yuthura is offline   you may:
Old 06-18-2009, 09:22 PM   #250
Darth_Yuthura
Banned
 
Status: Banned
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Vienna
Posts: 1,585
Current Game: KOTOR III
Chapter 55: Respecting the Dead

Although it had been a little over ten years since I escaped Sleheyron, the memories of that place still haunted my dreams. At a very young age, I had been effectively traumatized by Omeesh. The needless brutality he inflicted upon me and my friends and the constant humiliation we endured were enough to make us wish we were dead. Where many took their own lives to end the pain, I wanted more to punish the one responsible. I remembered thinking that if I were to die, I would take him with me... I never considered what would happen after that.

I never would have expected my life to turn out as it has. I never could have imagined that I would become as vile and cruel as Omeesh only to be saved by the Dark Lord of the Sith himself and be accepted back to the Jedi. Then for me to be betrayed like that... it left me wondering if there were any others who could really be trusted anymore. It left me wondering what was more terrible: those who overtly showed how cruel they were, or those who didn’t know it.

I had no doubt that the Council believed what they tried to do was the right thing, but what they perceived as right was against everything that I valued. Could I, alone, show them that they were wrong, or was it still me who was misguided? A part of me really wanted to agree with them; to know that it was just a mistake on my part, but doing so was as difficult as admitting that slavery was an acceptable act. No matter how hard I could ever try, I simply could never believe it.

---------

He could still hurt me, even beyond the grave. I was clad in a slave-girl’s dancing outfit, but it was not made for aesthetics... it was made to mutilate one’s body and lacerate my breasts, lekku, and deliver pain where it hurt most. I never wore that kind of costume, but it was the kind of thing that he would have loved to put on his slaves.

Omeesh ordered me to start dancing. He told me that I had to perform my dance perfectly, or I would lose a lekku for any mistake I made. Somehow, I managed to perform my dance as he demanded, without making a mistake. I was filled with joy when I performed better than I ever have before, but he ordered me to do it again. I had been too afraid to protest because of the device on my chest and the back of my head.

I just went through the whole routine and did another perfect performance, as he commanded. When he ordered me to do it a third time, I fell to my knees. “Master, please! I’ll do anything you command, just please don’t hurt me! I beg you!”

“You stupid girl! That’s your only lot in life...” he raised the control to activate his torture device. “You are my property and if I want my property to suffer, then it must!”

Before he pressed the control, I used the Force to knock the control out of his stubby hand and then to shed off the torture outfit from my body. I stood before him, naked, but with a blade in my hand. “I have become more than you could ever be! I have watched you murder all my friends and now you will suffer for all their deaths!”

When I went to cut his throat, I realized that he already had the wound where I had stabbed him, over ten years ago. He looked at me and chuckled. “You cannot kill me; I’m already dead.”

“Then you’ll live long enough to suffer for all the times you hurt them!” I plunged the knife into his flesh, time and again, like a psychotic murderer. As I stabbed him repeatedly, he kept chuckling, showing no signs of blood or pain.

He reached out and wrapped his arms around to hold me like a pet. Despite my continual stabbing, he wouldn’t release me. “You always were my favorite slave, little one. You know that I’m still your master, and when I give you an order, I know you’ll obey...”

Even with the Force, I couldn’t break myself free from his slimy clutches. He licked and cuddled me and that... made me calm down. I remembered there were times when he stopped a torture session so that he could use me for... other purposes. After what I’ve been through, anything was better than more suffering and misery. I dropped my knife and he let me go. “Yes... Master. My flesh and soul.”

I had been mortified by what I said, but I knew that there simply was no escape and it would have been easier to just give in and not resist. I laid down with my back against his belly and he stroked my lekku for a few moments before he took a firmer grip upon them. “Now scream for me, little one. I want you to know that you are mine, now and forever.” Then he tightened his grip upon my head tails to make me scream.

-------

I didn’t exactly experience pain, but it felt as though I were falling and landed on my back before my reflexes kicked in. I gasped in shock and found myself back in reality, but brought my hands to check that my lekku were alright. I just had to check for myself that it was only a dream.

Gasping for breath and sighing in relief, I ducked my head to my knees and wrapped my arms around myself. Bastila had asked if I were alright, but I didn’t respond. A few seconds later, she touched my back and I slowly brought myself back up.

“Nightmare?”

“That’s all it was.” I said, more to convince myself than her.

She sat in the other chair. “Are you sure? Any chance it could have been a vision?”

I kept my head fixed forward. “Not unless Hutts can’t die and a Jedi such as I should... It was just a dream.”

She nervously continued. “You seem troubled by it.”

A silent moment later, “I frequently have nightmares; it’s nothing out of the ordinary.”

“Of Korriban?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

Despite turning my head away, she kept staring as though to study me. I tried to be stoic, but something about her gray eyes reminded me of Revan and how he seemed to see right through me on Korriban. She had something else in mind, but I couldn’t conjure a guess as to what it was.

When I couldn’t stand it anymore, I made it known. “If you have something to say, just say it.”

“No, it’s just that... I really know very little about you. One can learn a lot about a person just by watching their behavior from the greatest to the smallest gesture.”

“Maybe, but those who know they’re being studied tend to behave differently than they normally would.”

She nodded. “I’d come to believe that you behaved differently because of him... because you felt that you owed it to him for saving your life.” She reluctantly went on. “Then when I really thought of your actions in the last two days, I realized that you are more complex than I realized.”

“Uh... thanks, I suppose. I thought you were about to ridicule me or something.”

“No, I’m not excusing you for spying on the Council; but you did actually make me think of something... the Council has never fully taken responsibility for Revan or Malak. They may have been misguided, but it was under the Council’s watch that they were trained to use the Force. It wouldn’t have mattered whether they acted under the Council or for themselves; it was because of the Jedi that they had been given the power to reshape the Galaxy.”

“I think that’s the first time I’ve ever heard you spoke ill of them; you’ve always been so supportive of their authority.” Before she responded, I kept speaking. “But what you said is only part of it; they need to know that they represent the entire Order when they make a decision... not just themselves.”

She glared at me. “They are still the wisest Jedi in the Order and despite their flaws, they need our support. In spite of their crime, we cannot afford another power struggle presently. That is why we must support them in every decision they make, whether we agree with it or not.”

I let my jaw drop to display how awestruck I was. “You admit it yourself that they committed a crime against Revan. How can you support someone you know is corrupt?”

“Do you know why the truth about Revan was kept secret? It wasn’t to cover up for a crime, but because such knowledge would have shattered the faith of the Order when it was most fragile. Even now that the Sith have been defeated, we need as many as possible to support our cause. Making what happened to Revan public knowledge would only hurt our chances of keeping the Order from falling apart.”

I growled under my breath, just enough to be heard. “So we step over the bodies of the victims and not look back?”

“If it’s in the best interests of the ones still standing, then absolutely.”

I didn’t want to admit it, but she was right. As terrible their crime had been, I knew I’ve done worse in my days under Uthar. Although they should have been above that kind of thing, what was done was done. The only issue I had to worry about was keeping them from committing the same crime again. History would judge what they did in the Mandalorian Wars; not me.

Then Bastila disrupted my thoughts. “Look, I really didn’t want to discuss the Council. An entire war has been raged over that issue and the last thing I want is to continue it.”

“What’s the point? You seem to’ve already made up your mind anyway.”

She reacted to a small degree, only just enough for me to notice. I suppose that from her perspective, I was just as dense and stubborn as she was. I knew what it was like to argue with someone so dedicated to another conclusion that I became even more determined to prove her wrong. It just seemed so difficult because I KNEW I was right and couldn’t conceive how someone else could believe the opposite.

After a moment, she wanted to have the last word on the subject. “I really can’t understand why you take the events of the Mandalorian Wars, or the Council’s crime so seriously. What Revan did was so much worse. What you did was much worse.”

“Don’t speak of such things; you know nothing of me!” I hissed.

“Well I’d like to know. You’re always so isolated and detached. How would you expect anyone to understand if you keep everything to yourself?”

I rolled my head back to show her my annoyance. “Maybe I don’t want everyone to... understand. Maybe I show only what I want.”

“You show a lot more than you realize. I saw, as the Council had seen why you really returned to the Order. It was because of him.”

As she spoke those words, I could tell from the tone in her voice that she wasn’t trying to attack me. It was almost... envy? I must not have been understanding her right.

“It was your feelings for him that you saved yourself, wasn’t it?”

I kept my silence for a long moment before realizing that it really didn’t matter whether she knew the truth or not. “He was really the first person in a long time to give a damn about what I did with my life... even me. I think it started when I saw him with Mission, whom I believed was his slave... he seemed to be more interested in protecting her than himself. It reminded me of my own time as a slave and I grew to respect his... humility.”

“That’s something every Jedi is supposed to have. Wouldn’t humility have been regarded as... weakness.”

“Obviously... but he did give some good explanations for what he did. I believed him when he said that it was... for his own benefit to encumber himself; it made sense to me. That is one thing about being a Jedi that showed their strength. At some point, she was alone and about to be assaulted by another Sith student. I stopped him and she told Trevelyan what I did. After that, he and I came to learn more about the other than we originally wanted.”

“You wanted?” she asked.

“Yeah. I had originally intended to have Mission do the honor of killing her master, like I had, after he served his purpose. As I saw more of who he was, I came to respect him. When he asked to know more about my past, I originally thought he just wanted to use it against me... he seemed genuinely interested. By that time, I felt comfortable telling him and he told me what I wanted to hear.”

“What kinds of things?”

I shrugged my shoulders. “He said that my reasons for becoming a Sith were commendable. He respected my feelings on the matter and made me feel that I had the right to be angry for what was done to me... he also reminded me of many things I haven’t thought of in a long time.”

“You were once a slave... I wouldn’t claim to know what you’ve been through, but you have since been your own master. Why are you so determined not to let go of your anger, even when it causes you such pain?”

I turned away from her and folded my arms as I went into deep thought about her question. I hated Sleheyron. I hated Omeesh. There was nothing about those years that I wanted to take with me, and yet I couldn’t ever just let them go. I wanted to hate Omeesh and I wanted to be angry for what happened to me. I wanted to hold onto those feelings that hurt so deeply as I watched him torture my closest friends.

Omeesh wasn’t exactly the average Hutt, as most just regarded slaves as property and nothing more. He enjoyed breaking his property and making them know that their only purpose was to amuse him with their screams of agony. I just couldn’t help knowing that so many lives, so many sentient beings’ rights were being violated all over the galaxy. The Hutts were so powerful, that those slaves couldn’t fight back.

I remembered what one Sith once told me about slaves. He said that if they were too weak to fight back, they deserved their fate either to live as slaves, or to die trying. That was not what it was like at all for them. I hated Omeesh, long before I took action; but I was so tormented by him and afraid to lose what little I had that I obeyed his every whim. It was only after I realized I had nothing left to protect that I fought back.

I tried to recall the names of my friends, their faces, their personalities... I had forgotten so much that I couldn’t think of any one specifically. They were all gone; their bodies, their souls... anything left of them all was with me, and as I forgot about that horrible place, I couldn’t help feeling that any traces that they ever existed died with me.

As my thoughts drifted away, Bastila didn’t repeat her question and just let me be. I actually did have something that I would have asked Alfred or Revan, but felt that I needed to hear from someone I knew wouldn’t just tell me what I wanted to hear. “Bastila... do you think it’s important to respect the dead?”

“Excuse me?”

I knew she just wanted me to elaborate more than what I said, but she understood the question. “If someone is dead... they have no family, no loved ones, children that don’t remember them, no trace that they ever existed... do you think it matters that something of them be preserved?”

She crossed her arms and jogged her mind for a brief moment, if only to show some thought on the matter. “If someone remembers them then I would say yes, we should respect them for what they were worth to us. Are you talking about someone in particular?”

“Yes; one or two.”

“How close were you to them?” she asked.

“Friends I lost long ago. Omeesh murdered them and fed their bodies to his pets after they had served their purpose...” Except for one that he really didn’t kill, but that was too sensitive a topic for me to face. I continued, “They didn’t have anyone else, no family, all their other friends eventually died as well... I’m the only one who remembers these people. And there are many who I’ve forgotten. I keep thinking that I preserve something of them that matters, that they lived, and yet... I know they’re dead. And they’re never coming back.” I turned my head away to keep her from seeing the tears that I felt coming. “And nothing can ever make up for it. If I just forgot them, it would not matter anymore. There are no remains bury. No family to mourn. No funeral to acknowledge they ever existed. Just a painful end down the throat of a kell dragon!” I didn’t exactly start crying, but hyperventilated as it helped to keep the tears back.

Bastila started extending her arm towards my shoulder, but held it back when she figured it wouldn’t help. Contact comfort really didn’t matter between two who were almost strangers to one another. She kept silent for a long moment before suggesting something that might have helped. “It is always painful to lose someone you care about; I can’t imagine what it must have been like for you. I never found my father’s remains. He died in much the same way... a Krayte Dragon. We did manage to find a holocron he kept with him.”

“A holocron? That’s at least evidence that he once lived. And it’s different between a parent and offspring.”

She didn’t take that well, but tried to explain the point of why she brought that up. “When we found it, the holocron had suffered significant damage. I had no idea if there was anything left on it to save, but opening it might have destroyed everything he put on it over the last ten years of their lives.” She sighed deeply. “I just put it aside; I was afraid of destroying what data survived, but there had been corrosion around the casing that I knew was going to... I eventually decided that it was going to be lost one way or another. I had T3 open the casing and scan the internal components.”

“And?”

She hesitated to answer. “Much of it was destroyed by the corrosion. Almost half of the data T3 might have been able to save was lost because I was afraid to open it. He was only able to salvage seven holo images and a few seconds of a voice recording... badly degraded.”

“And I suppose that the moral of this story is that we often destroy what it is we are trying to protect because we are afraid to lose it?” I implied as I looked over my shoulder.

“No. I actually might have gotten more out of the holocron because there was so little that was saved. I found my mother during that voyage as well, and despite ending up on good terms with her, I would have intended not to become reacquainted with her... knowing she was going to die within the month.” She leaned her head back to collect her thoughts. “One of the photos I recovered was... suspicious. I wanted to ask her what she knew about it...” She then started chuckling. “And she shared with me many of the stories they shared. Most of the content in the holocron were of his treasure hunts, so there was little that really mattered anyway. The last time before I was given to the Jedi, I intensely disliked my mother, but she shared with me so much more that mattered than the holocron ever could have.”

I nodded, not exactly sure that helped; but I at least felt better than before. “So what happened to your mother?”

“She died shortly after. It may not have seemed like much, but I was glad that my father lived happily with my mother and that I found her before the end. I gave her a proper funeral. Few attended, but it gave me a sense of... conclusion to know that something that had been bothering me all my life was righted before the end.”

Again, I nodded, still not knowing how that related to my situation. “And what of those who haven’t seen right done before their end?”
Darth_Yuthura is offline   you may:
Old 07-21-2009, 12:26 PM   #251
Darth_Yuthura
Banned
 
Status: Banned
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Vienna
Posts: 1,585
Current Game: KOTOR III
I've just updated some earlier chapters of this story. I've added a scene with Yuthura and Kavar in post 64 and renamed the chapter. I've also extended post 66 a bit more to reflect Yuthura's sense of fear or overconfidence while approaching Nar Shadaa. I've also broken up the Chapter where she was trapped into two pieces and rearranged the sequence that takes place. She will get her mission done FIRST and then be trapped. This will slightly alter story, but generates a completely new chapter. That starts at post 69.

Just thought readers might be interested to know that the story is changing from its original version.
Darth_Yuthura is offline   you may:
Post a new thread. Sorry, this thread is closed. Indicate all threads in this forum as read. Subscribe to this forum. RSS feed: this forum RSS feed: all forums
Go Back   LucasForums > Network > Knights of the Old Republic > Community > Coruscant Entertainment Centre > Shrouded in Darkness: Yuthura Ban's Tale

Tags
[fic]

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 11:01 AM.

LFNetwork, LLC ©2002-2011 - All rights reserved.
Powered by vBulletin®
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.