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Old 08-12-2009, 12:26 PM   #1
bally3000
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The Emperor's Children

This is the first chapter of my new story, i will shortly post the second one. i have written far into the story but i need time to edit the other peaces and get them up to scratch.
it may all seem to fast or unreal at first but more will be revealed as the story continues,
and thanks for reading.

Chapter 1

Some where in the outer rim.

In the endless darkness of space a lone Corellian Corvette drifted through the Black emptiness. Damaged engines, weapon systems offline, life support systems failing. The sound of thrusters broke the silence as a YV-929 armed freighter flew out of hyper space and flew towards the Corvette, it slowed as it reached the Corvette. Inside the ship's cockpit were 3 people two dressed in flight wear and one in a brown amour with a hold out blaster resting in a holster which was slung over his shoulder. “Move in close and establish communications with them. If they don't reply after 3 tries were going to board.” The man in the brown amour said.

The two pilots looked at each other then flicked a few switches. A blue light flashed on the dash board and then went red. The pilots repeated this 3 times and then turned to the armoured man and asked “they are not responding, shall we board them?”

“yes,” turning around and looking at the crew the man said. “Men arm your selves we are boarding this ship and stealing what we can”. He then opened a cabinet next to the pilot seats and pulled out a modified DC-15a battle rifle. He checked his power cell and then walked to the crew quarters on board the ship. he felt slightly guilty not telling the men what they were really boarding the ship for. 13 men surrounded him each one armed with a blaster rifle, some checking there power cells some were just waiting for orders. The ship shook as it docked with the Corvette “sir we have made a successful dock. You may now board.” a voice from the cockpit said.

“Men open the inner hatch and board the ship, have your weapons at the ready and expect resistance.”. Several men hurried to the hatch and soon had both open and began to open the outer hatch of the Corvette “sir the inner hatch is sealed. Shall we blast it open?” one of the men asked while trying to open the inner hatch.

“yes but be careful not to blow a hole in the ship.” the sound of blaster fire filled the ship for a few seconds then the sound of a hatch bursting open ended the blaster fire. “sir were in”. The leader jumped into the ship to find dead bodies lying on floor. There were also blaster markings on the wall to show that they had had some kind of battle. Shaking his head the captain put his helmet on, “men the life support systems are failing use your amours support systems and use your torches. You 3 move to the main bridge, you 3 move to the engines, you two follow me to secure the package.” torch lights filled the corridor and the men prepared there suits and proceeded to there targets. “keep radio contact constantly every 5 mins report in, and fire at any hostile targets. Move out men.” with that order the men proceeded down each corridor until there foot steps could be faintly heard.
lets hope who ever attacked this ship didn't find the package


Engine Room.

The 3 men moved swiftly towards the engine room “this is Pete reporting in, we have made it to the engine room, permission to enter.” there was a crackle from the mic but then a voice came clearly through

“permission granted, seize the engines and try to restart them maybe we can take the hole ship back to them for...” there was crackle of interference and then the comms went silent. Looking at each other the men continued forward.

“I have a bad feeling about this” one of the men said while he flicked a switch to open the doors, at first the switch flicked to life but then went dead, after a few seconds of silence they thought the door wasn't going to open, then all of a sudden it shot open. But it was as if it was opened from the inside. Entering cautiously. As they passed through one of the men lowered his gun and kelt to the floor. “There’s a data card here.” rising from the ground he heard the noise of footsteps and quickly whiped his gun up and shone the torch in its direction seeing nothing one of his men put a hand his shoulder, he jumped around and pointed his gun at him.

“whoa, calm down kid its just me, what’s got you on edge?” the man said, "scared of little dark?"

“Nothing I thought I heard foot steps, an-” the man was intrupted by the door slamming shut behind them. “Hey wheres Pete” they heard blaster fire from the other side of the door but it stopped plunging them into the silence of the darkness. “ready your weapon this doesn't seem right.”

“Could they be using stealth?”

“This isn't fair, if you hear something shoot.” checking his power pack he signalled his partner to follow him. There was a sound coming from the shadows and both men instantly shot in its direction, but they only hit a metal pole holding up a small walk way. The lasers melted the metal and part of the walkway collapsed narrowly missing one of the men. “Drop your weapons” a sinister voice called from be hind them. They turned to see a man dressed in black with only his head showing, he was holding a blaster pistol and had it aimed at one of the men’s heads. “I said drop them or I will shoot.”

“there's two of us and one of you, shoot him” one of the men called out but as he raised his gun he was cut short by a vibro blade striking out from the shadows severing his trigger hand clean off, Groaning he hit the floor holding his hand and gritting his teeth in pain. The other man raised his gun but before he could shoot, the man in the black shot him, and he fell to the floor with smoke raising from his face.

medical room.

“Sir Pete hasn't called back in and we have received no word from the other men. Should I call them?” a man holding a communications unit asked.

The captain shook his head “leave the comms hear we have no need for it now.” Rising his custom rifle he flicked the switch to reveal a round room that had very little blaster marks on the walls and ceiling but about 9 dead Republic solders. In the centre of the room was a figure that seemed to be hovering above the ground, it was wearing a black robe with a hood covering its head and it back facing the door. Signaling to keep quiet the captain hoped he could sneak up on the target. “If we can sneak up on this man we can capture him, but if he is what I think, then he already knows where here.”

“what’s that sir?” on of the men asked puzzled.

“ A Sith” checking a republic soldier he noticed a long clean cut from the center of his chest to the bottom of stomachache but there was no blood as the wound had been burnt back together. “This wound was done by a lightsabre. I say we shoot now talk later” raising there weapons the men shot at the hooded man, who almost instantly leapt into the air and ignited his lightsabre, which was a deep blood red, and stared to bat back the blaster fire.

two figures in black infiltration suits materialized and struck down his two partners with light sabre pikes. This few second warning gave the captain enough time role to the side and take down one of the attackers. A few quick shots to the chest ended his victim’s life the light sabre pike hit the floor but deactivated almost instantly after it left the attackers hand. But the other attacker was already upon him, the captain raised his gun to block the force pike, he narrowly missed the blade which hummed almost an inch above his face. Kicking out with his foot the black figure fell to the floor dropping his blade, rolling forward the captain shot the attacker in the stomach and then the chest.

“you are more skilled than the others, but not skilled enough to kill me, join me, you can be admiral, of a fleet” the Sith step forward but the captain raised his gun and shot a spray of laser at the Sith who gracefully span his sabre round deflecting all the shots making them hit the walls and ceiling. “Join me with your skill we can train an army, and with your ship we can get off this ship.” the Sith said again shutting down his light sabre. The captain took another shot but the Sith just leapt back wards causing the lasers to hit the floor. “Is this what you looking for the Sith reached into his robes and pulled out a small data chip and hovered it just above his palm. “The location of your fathers ship?.” The Sith laughed “if you where join me I would hand over this data chip once we are off this ship.”

Lowering his gun the captain nodded “I will help you get off this ship and drop you off on a secure planet but whether I join your cause will be decided another time.” lowering to one knee the Capitan lifted one of the force pikes off the ground with a puzzled look on his face he asked “What are these I have fought Jedi before but they never had a weapon like this?”

“You will learn these things in time but for now we must leave, men prepare for flight." 4 men materialized around the room starling the captain some one held a pike like other two dead attackers but the others simply held vibro blades. 2 moved over to the captain and picked the pikes from the dead bodies and walked through the door behind him. “Don’t kill my pilots they are loyal to me and will do as I order.”

Turning to leave the captain clipped his rifle to his back, turned to his fallen comrades gave small salute to them and walked out the room.

bally3000 has requested a fanfic review for this thread.

Peace is a lie, there is only passion.
Through passion, I gain strength.
Through strength, I gain power.
Through power, I gain victory.
Through victory, my chains are broken.
The Force shall free me.


The rule of two -
One to embody the power,
And,
One to crave it
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Old 08-12-2009, 01:21 PM   #2
Burnseyy
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Woop :] i like it, great start. I envy how much you know about star wars - I wouldn't be able to write half of the things you put in it >.< think I'm gonna need trips back to wookieepedia.

Only thing that bugs me is, try not to use numbers in your writing. Like, instead of "3" say "three." And think about commas when you're writing - some of your lines just went on without pauses example: “Men, arm your selves. We are boarding this ship and stealing what we can." would be better than: “Men arm your selves we are boarding this ship and stealing what we can”

<3


"If God is a DJ, then life is a dance floor, love is the rhythm and you are the music."



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Old 08-12-2009, 01:33 PM   #3
bally3000
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maybe he has long breaths :P
aha i will sort tht out in a mo
thankies.


Peace is a lie, there is only passion.
Through passion, I gain strength.
Through strength, I gain power.
Through power, I gain victory.
Through victory, my chains are broken.
The Force shall free me.


The rule of two -
One to embody the power,
And,
One to crave it
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Old 08-12-2009, 01:33 PM   #4
bally3000
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Chapter 2

On board the YV-929 armed freighter
Orbiting Sullust.

“Wait for signs of galactic alliance fighters” the captain said as he looked upon the planet from his view port.

The Sith stood behind him and shook his head “there will be no galactic alliance ships here, we removed them, they are now loyal to me” the Sith turned to the galaxy map and inserted a data chip, which brought up several readings, choosing one of them he loaded up landing co-ordinates for the pilots. “This is where we shall land; I will comm forward so they are prepared.”

Gritting his teeth the captain wondered over to the caf dispenser, and took a cup of caf. Thinking to him self if I was to join this sith I wouldn't be able to turn my back and just leave there will be bounties on my head before I could say the word bye. But what if I just say no and he kills me on the spot for even knowing of his exsistance. But think of how much money I would earn, I’d be rich not just this low life pirate, I'd be a leader of my own fleet, he said admiral' sipping his caf he shook the ideas out of his head and wondered back to the cock pit.

As the ship powered up its thrusters to begin it descent three tie fighters flew by the cockpit, it was as if they came out of no where. Checking on board scanners there were no ships, amazed but also worried the pilot banked to the right and prepared for combat. “sir there are 3 tie fighters coming up on our six, what shall we do?”

“ready weapons, and set power to rear deflectors, I will man one of the quad lasers.” I replied, still sipping my caf.”

“no there my fighters, they just need confirmation.” The Sith appeared wearing his black robes, his hood was up and the shadow cast across his face gave him a menacing look. “open up communications before they start firing.”

The pilot flicked a switch on the dashboard and a red light flashed.

A voice sounded through the speakers, “This is Tie one to unknown frigate, you are entering a restricted area if you do not confirm your selves in 2 minuets we will open fire.” the speakers fell silent.

“This is Darth Tirrious I am Landing in sector 362.”

“o.. er... sorry you.. may land” the man on the comm sounded frightened.

The comm. Bored lights switched off and the a smirk crawled along his face, “ I like this guy, even his own men are scared of him.” The pilot said the his partner.

The other pilot shook his head keeping his eyes on the planet Sullust.

The ships loading ramp lowered and the Sith and his men left the ship, they were met by 4 soilders dressed in grey, they all nelt on one knee and bowed to him, “welcome back Master, will you be needing any cells for your prisoners?”

Disgusted by what he said the captain stepped forward, "I'm not a prisoner. Do you think a prisoner fly there enemy off to there planet? I am Anakin leader of a small band of pirates!” Anakin stared at the man waiting for a response but the man didn’t even look at him.

The Sith waved a hand “The man is right he I with me now. Get him a room and clean his ship up.”

Anakin leapt off the ramp. “No, anybody touches the ship and there dead”.

The Sith turned to look at him “Fine then, leave the ship here, make sure no other ship docks here”

“Yes sir, Men you heard him move out” the men rose and hurried off the plat form.

The ships engines flicked off and two pilots walked down the ramp and removed there helmet, “The names Luke Sir” one of the pilots said.

The other pilot looked at his partner and then turned to the Sith “And I’m Zeek”

“If were going to be working with us you should at least know our names” Luke said.

“Very well, follow my men to your dorms.” The Sith replied as two of his men turned around waved a hand towards the pirates.


Peace is a lie, there is only passion.
Through passion, I gain strength.
Through strength, I gain power.
Through power, I gain victory.
Through victory, my chains are broken.
The Force shall free me.


The rule of two -
One to embody the power,
And,
One to crave it
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Old 08-12-2009, 01:36 PM   #5
Te Je'karta Mand'alor
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Burnseyy View Post
Woop :] i like it, great start. I envy how much you know about star wars - I wouldn't be able to write half of the things you put in it >.< think I'm gonna need trips back to wookieepedia.

Only thing that bugs me is, try not to use numbers in your writing. Like, instead of "3" say "three." And think about commas when you're writing - some of your lines just went on without pauses example: “Men, arm your selves. We are boarding this ship and stealing what we can." would be better than: “Men arm your selves we are boarding this ship and stealing what we can”

<3
it's not like he's trying to get it published. it's fine if dosn't use proper grammar-i usualy don't
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Old 08-12-2009, 02:21 PM   #6
Burnseyy
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I'm pretty sure he wants to improve :/ there's nothing wrong with refining a skill.

@bally: another good installment :]


"If God is a DJ, then life is a dance floor, love is the rhythm and you are the music."



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Old 08-13-2009, 07:16 PM   #7
bally3000
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Thanks Bursney.

i really like this chapter, i don't know why but it feels like a good one

Chapter 3

Coruscant

Two Jedi one named Jen, and the other named James, walked around a 3D map of a riot going on if front of the Jedi temple. The map showed a large group of people pointing and waving signs in the air, while a few alliance transport ships hovered over the crowd.

“Captain Loran what course of action are you going to take?” James asked whilst rubbing his chin and observing the riot.

“we where planning on firing a few rounds into the crowd to scare them into scattering.” The captain replied.

“No you might hit a civilian, let the Jedi speak to them first,” James replied still rubbing his chin.

“but the Jedi are the reason the people are rioting we can’t just let them have what they want other wise they will riot for everything.” Captain Loran sounded angry this time.

“No we must give them time, we need to solve this peacefully with out any casualties” James looked up to the captain expecting a reply about how he was right.

“Dam you Jedi and your peaceful ways. You never get the job done.” The captain shook his head and returned to the battle map. “at least let us fire some flash grenades into the crowd to calm them down.”

“He’s right James, we can’t let the people get what they want, all the time, if they get to see the Jedi now then they will riot for more money in a few weeks. And expect that” Jen said to James.

“have faith in the Jedi young padawan, if you do not have faith then how can control the urges of the dark side?” James lowered his hand from his chin and rested it on the map along side his other hand.

“This is not falling to the dark side this is seeing the inevitable the people aren’t going to listen to the Jedi, they just want there own way. The Jedi can speak to them in time, now we need to deal with the problem.” The padawan looked at her shoes and shook her head.

“you have much to learn padawan.” James flicked a few switches and the 3D map zoomed into 6 robed people leaving the Jedi temple. “See young padawan have faith the Jedi masters will speak with the people now.”

“Your padawan speaks sense why can’t you?” wondering over to the caf dispenser the captain took out a caf, “The Jedi will do nothing just you see” the captain took a sip of his caf and returned to the map.

There was silence for a short while before the silence was broken by a security officer stood by the 3D map paying careful attention to the crowd of rioters. “sir I think the Jedi might actually be calming the crowd” the captain grunted but didn’t say anything.

“see padawan have faith in our masters, peace will always prevail” James looked at his padawan and she just nodded in silence.

“Lets just see how long before the riots start again,” the captain paused to take a sip of his caf, “and when that happens were doing it our way.” With one last grunt the captain left the room and returned to his office.

“prepare the speeder will be there soon I just need to speak with the Captain” James said whilst tiding his robes.

“yes master, just try not to piss him off any more” Jen left the room smirking. The speeder was a purple colour, her master had chosen it, she didn’t really like it the color was fine but she thought it was ugly. Its engines were on the side in stead of the back and drives seat was near the rear of the engines and just above the passenger seats so the driver had a better view of the surroundings. The craft was small and without a hood. Climbing in she checked all the engines and they were working fine so she fired up the engines and waited for her master


Peace is a lie, there is only passion.
Through passion, I gain strength.
Through strength, I gain power.
Through power, I gain victory.
Through victory, my chains are broken.
The Force shall free me.


The rule of two -
One to embody the power,
And,
One to crave it
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Old 08-18-2009, 10:47 AM   #8
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'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
Acceptance
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile
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Old 08-18-2009, 12:31 PM   #9
bally3000
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Chapter 4

Coruscant space.

Two ships flew through Coruscant space one was a small head hunter it was a yellow with a orange stripe along both sides and a S40K Phoenix Hawk-class light pinnace. Ripped through the small head hunters engines, as smoke filled the are the small head hunters engines exploded and the ship was left drifting through space. The S40K halted its lasers, and slowed down and intercepted the head hunters path and fired a tow cable to stop the head hunter from drifting any further away.

“This is Bounty hunter Jitsu, and your coming with me. Now we can do this the hard way and I can drag you back to Coruscant in your ship and drop you at a space port and cuff you, or you can come onto the ship and I give you straight to the contractor, its your choice, now what’s it gonna be?” the Jitsu voice sounded deep and menacing.

“I have kids, a family, I’m doing this for them please…”

“Fine it’s the hard way then.”

“ No no am coming onto the ship.”

I’ve heard all the excuses and the family ones always the low life scum. If they really wanted to do something for there family they would get a honest job, like I did. In the past. The headhunter docked with the S40K and a dirty Rodian climbed through the hatch blaster in hand. “thought you would bring that with you that’s why I built my cell in that room. So all the people who think they can shoot there way out will be mistaken” the hatch behind the Rodian closed sealing off his exit and trapping him in the cell.

In the cockpit smirking Jitsu removed hi helmet. They always try that. Jitsu’s face looked matured and battle scared, with a few scares, one distinctive scare was the scare that started just above his right eye and ended near his left ear. Blaster fire could be heard from the cell as the captive Rodian tried his best to escape. Shaking his head Jitsu undocked with the head hunter and shot it into space dust. “Time to get you back to Coruscant and get my money.” Jitsu smirked.

“This is Jitsu to Skedon family, guard permission to land.” Jitsu aimed S40K in for the small landing platform just ahead of him and slowed his speed to landing speed, and waited for the comms to reply.

“this is Skedon family guard, permission granted you may use the land platform, unlocking safety grid now.”

Flicking a few switched the S40K flipped onto its back and the landing gears flicked out the thrusters slowed lowering the ship into a land. Time for some bargaining Jitsu smirked to him self.

“ahh welcome mr…?” am tall man dressed in a blue robe with a golden trim walked onto the platform followed by 2 guards with silver amour on. “ah I see you brought the Rodian with you. Guards arrest him.”

“not so fast, I want to talk payment first. I am going to say about 100K” Jitsu watched as the man as he looked at his data pad and shook his head.

“am afraid we cannot give you that 50K sounds reasonable.”
“100K no less.”

“how abut 70K”

“don’t make me laugh. 100K or”, Jitsu drew his blaster pistol and aimed it at the Rodian’s head, “80K dead your choice?”

The guards next to the man raised there guns at Jitsu but the robed man waved his hand and the guards lowered there guns. “fine just put that discusting thing away, there will be no blood shed today. Men arrest that disgusting Rodian.”

"do you have any other buiness you need doing, bearing in mind i prefer to kill the target its alot less hassle." Jitsu slipped his pistol back into the holster and ajusted his helmit. " of course it will cost you."

"i don't like dealing with your kind, let alone having any one killed. This was a one off, i mean its not everyday some one steals from my daughter" the man seemed discusted.

"do you hae any other daughters maybe one with a bad boy friend cause ya' know i could kill him?" jitsu smirked under his helmet so the man wouldn't notice he was just kidding."

"get out of house hold now, the sooner your gone the sooner we can deal with our prisoner." as the man turned to leave his robes scraped along the floor.

As jitsu turned to board his ship he let out one last sly remark, "bah, i should of just killed him would of been more fun" and shut the loading ramp before any thing else could be said.

taking his ship of the ground his comm board flashed yellow, and a picture of a human male, he looked like he was in his 20's, he had brown hair, brown eyes and a unmissible scare from his ear to mouth. " this is commander Dorin her of the courosant first battlion, her is a picture of a male, called lorrance, he used to be a top govoner for the chancellor, but he has been leeking information to a unknown source and we need to know who this unknown source is."

"I don't do sping if you want him killed i'm your man. i can take him quietly or publicly your choice?" jitsu settled into his seat and sarted to fly his ship slowly to concentrate on his conversation.

" If we kill him this early we will never find out who he is. we need some one outside the business who doesn't care about the information being leaked so you would have no reason to stop him. we will pay you big money for this, lets say 500 thousand republican credits?"

"your right i don't care at all about the information or the men involved, but i do care about the money, make it 750 and you got a deal."

"deal it is, her are the co-ordinates to his apartment, we judge he will have good security due to what he gets paid. and good look Jitsu, Dorin out."

750 thousand, this must be of high importance t them, i think i should start off at his apartment, see what i can find there.


Peace is a lie, there is only passion.
Through passion, I gain strength.
Through strength, I gain power.
Through power, I gain victory.
Through victory, my chains are broken.
The Force shall free me.


The rule of two -
One to embody the power,
And,
One to crave it
bally3000 is offline   you may: quote & reply,
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