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Old 10-24-2009, 10:43 PM   #1
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Dark Legacy: Death Watch

((I won't be continuing my first fan fiction due to the fact that my storyline would conflict heavily with the TOR storyline. And that bothers me))

[Set during the Legacy Era]

Jag Bralor took a gulp from the mug of Corellian Ale the bartender droid had placed before him. He surveyed the cantina crowd around him before taking a long look into the T –visor of his helmet.

It always seemed strange to him. There were perhaps millions of known sentient species in the galaxy. Some large, some small. Some many would call beautiful, some revolting to look at. And yet none of them drew quite as many stares as a fully armored Mandalorian walking into a cantina.

Was it because when they first made themselves known to the galaxy they were attempting to bring it to its knees in a war that caused countless deaths on both sides? No, that couldn’t be it. There had been so many wars in the past five thousand years that the Mandalorian Wars paled in comparison.

Could it be because the Mando’ade were constantly under the employ of powerful gangsters and criminal empires? No. Half the citizens of the galaxy were in some way associated with some criminal overlord or another.

No, it was because the Death Watch had resurfaced. After almost two full centuries the murderous marauding Mandalorian Splinter-Group had returned. And they were worse than ever.

There had been reports of fully armored Death Watch Mandalorians going into cantinas and emptying entire clips of blaster bolts into anything that moved. They no longer wanted to wage war on the Galaxy. That wasn’t enough. They wished to spread bloodshed and slaughter wherever they could.

The thought of doing nothing while those Death Watch chakaaryc’s murdered numerous sentient beings without warning made Jag sick. So what would he do? Wait for them to come to him? Sit in some ratty cantina and let them shed the blood of innocents?

No.

Jai’galaar Bralor wasn’t that kind of Mando’ad. He would fight the Death Watch to the end.

To be continued…

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Old 10-25-2009, 12:44 AM   #2
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It's a good start, TMM! Very good ineed One thing I'd like to point out is, perhaps you should've explained Jag Bralor more, but you'll do that as the stories continue I assume Another, maybe you should've explained the Death Watch more, so that the areutiise would understand, and why they posed such a risk. But still, this is only a prologue, so I should wait

No grammatical errors though, not that I see, so, very good! I like the way the prologue flows along! Post the first part soon!


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Old 10-25-2009, 11:25 AM   #3
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Dark Legacy: Death Watch

[Part Two]

Jai’galaar left the cantina and surveyed the scene around him. Telos IV wasn’t a bad place in most areas. But he wasn’t in most areas. He was in one of the numerous slums that covered the planet. But it didn’t matter. Jag had landed on the planet with his Basilisk War Droid. No intelligent being would go near a giant “iron-beast” like his, and the unintelligent ones were probably either too scared or too drunk to bother with it.

Jag took his Bes’uliik to his low orbiting ship. A repurposed Sith Dreadnaught, the Je’karta Solus was a powerful ship. With enough hangar space for his Basilisk and enough sleeping quarters for a small army, Jag could probably take on a Yuuzhan Vong worldship with it.

As he sank into the pilot’s chair, Jag pulled out his comlink and made a call to an old Ferroan contact on Zonama Sekot. The contact informed him that Sekot was currently traveling through the expansion regions and that it would be leaving the known galaxy soon.

Jag had the contact get a message to Yurzikk Skell (a Yuuzhan Vong warrior) for him, stating that he would meet Skell at the usual rendezvous point with a business opportunity.

Jag set the hyperspace coordinates and activated the hyperdrive. In two days he would arrive at Zonama Sekot. Then (hopefully with Yurzikk’s help) he would move against the Death Watch.

“Yep, “He said thoughtfully to himself, “This will definitely be an interesting week.”

To be continued…

((I will elaborate more on Jag's character in the next chapter. He'll be in hyperspace for two days, I'll need something to do ))

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Old 10-25-2009, 11:13 PM   #4
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I like it. I'm not that big a fan of Mandalorians, but the idea of someone taking a stand against a seemingly unstoppable evil is pretty universal. Good job.

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Old 10-25-2009, 11:24 PM   #5
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Thanks. I'll submit another tomorrow. How long do you think it took me to write one of those?


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Old 10-27-2009, 02:24 AM   #6
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Dark Legacy: Death Watch

((Took a little longer than I would have liked, but here it is))

[Part Three]


Jag awoke with a yawn and got up from his pilot’s chair.
How long have I been asleep? “He thought as he called up a time display in his helmets HUD, “Just three hours?

With that he got up with a stretch and headed towards the Je’karta Solus’s mess hall. When he got there, he was given some food by the cook droid and took a seat at the table. As he ate he reflected on his life.

Born to a Human father and a Miraluka mother, Jag had most of the typical traits of a cross-breed between the two. He appeared mostly to be a normal human. But upon closer inspection you could see that his eyes were completely white, a side effect of his Miraluka heritage.

His father was a Mando’ad warrior, who was honored many times for his prowess in battle. His mother was a Zeison Sha warrior before meeting his father, and joining the Mando’ade.

Jag had the benefit of both Mandalorian and Force training, which made him a formidable foe to even the hardest of criminals.

When he turned sixteen Jag left Manda’yaim to pursue a life as a Bounty Hunter. His first bounty was given out by a Twi’lek noble whose daughter had been kidnapped by slavers. When he returned the young girl to her father and saw the tears of joy in the Twi’lek man’s eyes, he turned down the reward and decided he would always do his best to protect innocents. He would never turn into the savage hunter that other Mando’ade had become.

One of his most notable exploits had been during a mission in the Adega System. He was investigating the Sith presence in the system on the behalf of the Yuuzhan Vong Shapers in charge of repairing the damage to Ossus left by the Cron Supernova, thousands of years before.

Jag had been piloting his StarViper attack fighter close to Ossus when he encountered a group of Yuuzhan Vong Coralskippers fighting the forces of the One Sith. He joined the battle and helped destroy a One Sith battlecruiser. During the battle he and a handful of Yuuzhan Vong fighters were captured by a Sith Dreadnaught.

Although most of the Yuuzhan Vong warriors were killed in the ensuing skirmish, Jag and the survivors fought their way to the cockpit and succeeded in hijacking the ship.

Jag sent the ship into a controlled crash on the surface of Ossus as one of the larger Yuuzhan Vong, Yurzikk Skell, called for reinforcements from the Shaper’s base nearby.

The reinforcing warriors arrived just as a number of Stormtroopers were attempting to escape the crashed Dreadnaught.

As the other Yuuzhan Vong warriors went to join their brethren outside the ship, Yurzikk opted to assist Jag in eliminating the remaining Sith forces on the ship. Before that battle Jag never thought he could consider a Yuuzhan Vong warrior his vod. But he and Yurzikk had fought as brothers against the Dark Jedi and Stormtoopers on that ship.

Yurzikk had even helped him repair the Dreadnaught (which he deemed, the Je'karta Solus) and outfit it with numerous bits of Yuuzhan Vong living technology. The Yuuzhan Vong Biot parts of the ship essentially took the place of a sentient crew. Jag could control almost every aspect of the ship by directing a thought at the biots through the force.

It wasn’t long after that battle that Jag constructed his large beast-like Basilisk War Droid. He had returned to Manda’yaim and constructed it out of fine Beskar plating. His bes’uliik had a slightly more insect like appearance than most, and was equipped with hidden rocket launchers alongside the usual multitude of blaster cannons.

Jag finished up his meal and headed towards the hangar of the Je’karta Solus to check on his Basilisk. As he walked into the hangar the “iron-beast” activated itself and made a low rumbling noise. "Kyr’galaar” as the droid was named, was programmed to be more intelligent than most Basilisks. The ones used during the Mandalorian Wars were essentially mindless vehicles that were controlled completely by their Mando’ad riders. Kyr’galaar was able to act on his own during battles, or respond to orders given by Jag.

Jag was checking out some scratches on Kyr’galaar’s side armor when the system monitor in his helmet beeped and a message came up on his HUD to check his nav systems.

“Wonder what that could be.” He thought as he walked towards the cockpit.

To be continued…


Last edited by Trench; 10-30-2009 at 01:50 PM.
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Old 10-27-2009, 08:15 AM   #7
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Old 10-27-2009, 11:48 AM   #8
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Old 10-28-2009, 12:07 AM   #9
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Dark Legacy: Death Watch

((This chapter has a bit more action than the last few. Enjoy! ))

[Part Four]

Jag ran to the cockpit as the ship exited hyperspace. A Star Destroyer had moved into his hyperspace path. Whether it was intentional or not he didn’t know, but he just hoped they wouldn’t hail him on the comm. He was preparing to set his ship’s ID to one of the counterfeits he had programmed in as the comlink beeped.

*”Unregistered Sith Dreadnaught… Identify yourself, and prepare to be boarded.”*

“Shab!” Jag said as he pounded the control panel with his fist, eliciting an unhappy trill from the organic portion. He shut off the comlink and attempted to maneuver around the Star Destroyer, but the larger ship fired a handful of warning shots in front of the Je’karta Solus.

“Okay, so that won’t work. “ Jag said as he reactivated the comm. “Maybe I can have a talk with them.”

*”Unregistered Sith Dreadnaught… Attempts to escape will result in use of lethal force.”*

“What the frakk do you want? “Jag asked with as much authority as he could muster. The comlink filled with static as the Star Destroyer replied, but Jag thought he heard a slightly muffled voice saying something about “Mando’ad”.

*”Shut down your systems and prepare to be boarded… You are piloting an unregistered and obviously stolen Sith Dreadnaught… Any attempt to retaliate will be dealt with harshly.”*

"Shab! When those Imps come on board and find all of the stolen imperial weaponry they won’t be all too happy. They’d better not damage my ship!" Jag thought as he shut down his ship’s systems. He had worked too hard getting the Je’karta Solus in working order after that controlled crash on Ossus.

When the imps broke into his ship, Jag was standing near the boarding door using his stealth field generator. Three Stormtroopers (two humans and a Talz) immediately rushed in with their rifles raised, followed closely by a Dark Jedi.

Jag was startled to see a Dark Jedi aboard his ship, so he did his best to mask his presence with the Force. The Dark Jedi didn’t seem to notice Jag as he turned to his troopers.

“You two! “he said as he pointed at the one of the humans and the Talz, “Check the cockpit! You, “He growled at the remaining human, “Come with me.”

The Dark Jedi and his Stormtrooper walked towards the cargo bay as the other two ran to the cockpit. Jag followed the Dark Jedi, since the cockpit doors were locked. The doors were made of nearly indestructible Beskar plating, so those Stormtroopers wouldn’t be breaking in.

When they finished their search of the cargo bay, the Dark Jedi and Stomrtrooper started towards the hangar. Jag pressed a button on his gauntlet alerting Kyr’galaar to remain inactive.

When the Dark Jedi found the inactive Basilisk War Droid and enough extra Beskar to equip an army, he immediately called back the other troopers. The other Stormtroopers walked into the hangar as the Dark Jedi commed his superiors on the Star Destroyer.

“Master, “he spoke into the comlink, “our ally was right. This vessel was stolen by a Mandalorian. There’s a Basilisk War Droid big enough to raze a small city in here.”

Someone on the other end said something.

“Yes master, “the Dark Jedi replied, “send him right in.”

Jag suddenly became restless at that statement. He heard the Talz say something in his language about the cockpit doors, and the Dark Jedi saying something about in not mattering. Something just made him uneasy. He heard two sets of boots walking down the corridor towards the hangar.

Jag’s heart must have skipped a beat when he saw who walked in. Standing just a few meters in from of him, wearing their signature armor; was a pair of Death Watch Commandos.

“Where is your Mand’alor? “The Dark Jedi asked them impatiently.

“He has other matters to attend to.”One of them retorted arrogantly.

“Yes, “The other chuckled, “Apparently one of our scouts came back with a bad report. He has to be punished for his failure.”

“He sent us in his stead.”

Mand’alor! That title hadn’t been used in over a century. The last known Mand’alor had been Boba Fett, and after his death no one had stepped in to take the title. And now some Death Watch scum was claiming it? He had to do something!

The Death Watch Commandos and the Dark Jedi were discussing what to do about the Basilisk and the seemingly empty ship when Jag deactivated his stealth field generator. The Stormtroopers barely had a chance to respond before they were cut down by Jag’s blaster.
The Dark Jedi wasn’t able to activate his Lightsaber before Jag snatched it away with the Force and executed a Sai cha on him.

One of the Commandos pulled out a Vibrosword as the other pulled out a blaster pistol. The one with the blaster was skewered when Jag launched the Lightsaber at him, but the one with the Vibrosword got close enough to take a swing at Jag that whistled past his helmet. Jag might have been halved if he had not Force pushed the Commando back as he swung.

Before the Death Watch Commando could recover, Jag lifted him off the ground with the Force.
“Give your Mand’alor this message! “Jag growled at him, “Tell him that no Death Watch dar’manda could ever hope to truly claim the title of Mand’alor! And let him know that a real Mando’ad is going to put him in his place!”

“And who is this message from?” the Commando grunted as the invisible hand tightened around his torso.

“Tell him to remember the name of Jai’galaar Bralor. “And with that, Jag threw the Commando across the room towards the door to the hangar, “Now go, “He shouted to the Commando, “and tell them not to waste their fire when I leave!”

As the Commando quickly left the Je’karta Solus, Jag went to the cockpit and sealed the ship's boarding entrance. He then broke the seal with the Star Destroyers docking hatch and activated his Yuuzhan Vong biot hyperdrive.
The biot hyperdrive, when used in conjunction with his regular one, allowed him to resume his course towards Zonama Sekot within moments.

The Star Destroyer was able to let loose a few futile shots as the Je'karta Solus disappeared into hyperspace, and the Commando delivered his message.

The Death Watch Commando didn’t last the remainder of the hour.

To be continued...


Last edited by Trench; 10-28-2009 at 12:33 PM.
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Old 10-30-2009, 04:03 AM   #10
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Dark Legacy: Death Watch

((The final installment of "Dark Legacy"))

[Part Five]

The Je’karta Solus exited hyperspace right near Zonama Sekot. It had been a day since Jag’s encounter with the One Sith forces and their Death Watch allies, but it felt like it had happened only moments ago. During the trip he hadn’t slept a single moment. He had been too busy collecting anything useful from the bodies of the slain enemy forces, and then ejecting the corpses into space.

He had gained several useful weapons off the body of the Death Watch Commando. The armor he had taken and placed in his personal quarters. The rest of the weapons went to the armory. The Dark Jedi’s Lightsaber he had kept, and he had it clipped to his belt even as he made the approach to Zonama Sekot.

The Stormtrooper armor he had assembled on the wall in the mess. He figured it would be fun to throw knives and darts at it.

Jag thought about what he had found out so far about the Death Watch. It wasn’t much, but all the information he could get helped. Why had the One Sith allied themselves with the Death Watch? What could those traitorous dar’Manda have to offer a powerful empire? They were barred access to the Beskar supplies on Manda’yaim, they were few in number, and they didn’t have access to the weapons and contacts that True Mandalorians did.
Whatever their reasons, the One Sith obviously thought it was a good idea to work with the Death Watch, and that was what scared Jag.

When Jag landed on the surface of Zonama Sekot, he was greeted by the spaceport master, his Ferroan contact. He paid his contact the usual docking fee, as well as a few credits extra for getting his message to Yurzikk.

Jag unloaded his swoop bike as the dock master set up the spaceports security system. He sped to the rendezvous point to meet Yurzikk.
When he arrived, Yurzikk was standing on a mound of dirt, staring off onto the horizon. He turned slowly to greet Jag as the latter stepped off of his swoop.
“Greetings Jy’glare, “Skell said with a heavy Yuuzhan Vong accent, “You bring me news of a hunt?”

“Sucuy’gar Yurz’ika, “Jag said as he gripped his friend's hand in greeting, “I think you’ll like what I’ve got to tell you.”

Jag relayed what he had heard of the Death Watch as well as his own encounter with them and their One Sith allies.

“Yessss, “Yurzikk hissed, “I anticipate a great many kills. I will honor Yun-Yammka with the blood of the Death Watch.” Jag started to walk away, but Yurzikk stopped him, “Wait Jy’glare, I have a gift for you on behalf of Domain Skell.” With that, a deep reddish-black form slithered over Yurzikk’s armor and out onto the end of his arm. Before Jag’s eyes an Amphistaff took form in Yurzikk’s hand.

“The warriors of my Domain worked hard to train this Amphistaff to obey a non-Yuuzhan Vong, “Yurzikk said, holding the staff out to Jag, “Treat it as you would a warrior of your Domain Mandalor.”

“Thank you ner’vod, “Jag said. As he reached out to grab the serpent, it suddenly slithered up his arm and coiled around his torso. It essentially took a place as part of his armor.
“Let’s go get the Death Watch, “Jag said as he turned towards the speeder.
Now he was going to put that dar’Mand’alor in his place. Even if it meant his own death…

To be continued in Death Watch: Rebirth


Last edited by Trench; 10-30-2009 at 01:52 PM.
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Old 11-23-2009, 11:52 AM   #11
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reread as requested.


'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

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Old 11-25-2009, 12:22 AM   #12
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I'm liking it so far, but I've only read the first two parts.

The only thing that hasn't been mentioned that you could work on is this. Part 2 left me especially confused because of all the mandalore talk and names of these foreign planets, ships and stuff of that sort. Maybe try being a bit more general I guess is what I'm saying. It could just be me though.

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Old 11-25-2009, 01:14 AM   #13
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Glad you like it.
I'm assuming by "mandalore talk" you mean the name of his ship, the Je'karta Solus. Its Mando'a (mandalore talk ) for "Vengeful One".

Haven't been able to write much do to issues on the only comp in the house with Microsoft Word, but I've found a free program that might do the trick.

Edit-- I've finished the first chapter of "Death Watch: Rebirth" and you can read it here.


Last edited by Trench; 11-25-2009 at 02:42 AM.
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