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Old 01-18-2010, 01:49 PM   #1
Quilled Mind
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My review of the game *Spoilers*

I played for a few hours and got past Paratus and here is my review so far.

Let me start by saying that I've played quite a lot of video games over the years so I'm not a terrible player by any means but this is the first time I've ever played a Star Wars game where I've wanted to bite my controller in half and throw the pieces through the television.
I HATE HATE HATE the gameplay and controls. It's that stupid fast jerky anime-style ninja gameplay where your character can accidentally zip off a ledge for no reason at all, just because it was still going through with an attack combo or something. It has platform jumping aspects to it but it is nearly impossible to do so with the retarded overly sensitive movements. When you have jumping climbing games out like Assassin's Creed or even Uncharted 2 (or even 90's Tombraider), this game feels like it is made by scientists for the strict reason of making society want to kill things due to intense stress.
The buttons for doing anything are another matter that I don't wish to describe because it makes me angry.
The game has no immersive aspect at all. I found myself well into the second act going, "What the hell is the point of all of this and what did I just do right before this?" I guess you're Vader's kidnapped foster son who has to constantly prove himself by getting sent on bull**** missions that Vader expects you to die in but you spend the whole time getting caught between stormtrooper and rebel gunfights, scrap junk getting thrown at you, and stupid nothing garbage crap damn stupid damn damn.
It's linear stupidness.
Backgrounds look awesome and the idea of where you are most of the time is cool. I think they sold the idea on all of that. Like the guys who create the concept art and background matte stuff should get awards but the human characters don't look human, they seem to have reverted to 2003 in the video game human look.
All of the problems with the game could be tolerable if everything was slowed down a knotch but since everything is at Jedi speed, everything feels fast, uncontrollable, jerky, and what I hate most, improper physics due to retarded gameplay. Like one part where I had to use the Force to bend giant pieces of scrap metal sticking out of the sides of the walls in order to create platforms to jump to one-by-one...it took me 10-15 times to actually land the jump because the physics and controls suck and when you die in the game, you get sent back to the checkpoint that is 20 minutes behind you. One time I decided to bend one of the metal pieces really low in order to get a much flatter and straighter take off to the next piece, and in game mechanic terms, the piece was considered to low to the bottom of the game that they figured I had fallen into that every game bottomless pit aspect and killed me for no reason, even though I was perfectly safe on the platform. I nearly popped.
The main character isn't engaging AT ALL. You can't care and you don't know why anything is happening at all other than me deducing on my own (not actually said in the game of course) that Vader lost Padme and his child(ren) so he has taken on a foster kid to fill that gap, but training him in the ways of the Darkside in order to kill the Emperor and take over the galaxy as father and foster son. I guess. Stupid.
You have to find secret hidden holocrons in order to gain points (though I have no idea what they are used for yet or if that means experience points), temporary increases in damage or health or whatever, and sometimes on rare occasion to gain a new lightsaber crystal or some other rarity. But the holocrons aren't easy to find or get to half of the time. I had to use the Force to stack 80 pieces of garbage, just to create steps up to some holocron that was about 500 feet up. And don't think for one minute that using the Force is an easy flawless task, it's like those vending games where you move that claw around inside a giant glass box and try to pick up the toy you like but it keeps dropping...that's the Force in the game. It gets even worse when you try to throw objects at things without targeting them first...it really is less precise than throwing snowballs at moving cars with your scarf covering your eyes.
I love pretty much every Star Wars even if they had problems because I could justify them just because they were at least still in the Star Wars universe...but this game makes me want to break things.
I haven't finished it yet but it better have a satisfying end or else I think I'll actually turn to the Darkside.
I have one word to describe my experience of The Force Unleashed...frustrating.
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