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Old 04-06-2010, 02:12 PM   #41
Jae Onasi
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Originally Posted by Tysyacha View Post
Thank you for the wise advice, Jae. By the way, you bring up an interesting point...I did both (become depressed about it AND learn from my bullying experiences to become stronger), although the process is not so clear-cut, as in "first one, then the other". Sometimes I still have "flashbacks" about being bullied, so to speak, when my mind travels to that dark place where the bullies' words ring. It's like I'm reliving the moment. Does this make me psychotic or something? Has anyone else experienced this before?
At some point you come to realize that the people in junior high are not the people they are today. We just all suck at having good social skills at that age. The people who said mean things then would probably apologize today if they knew how much it hurt, in the "OMG, I am SO sorry--I can't believe I even said that" vein. A few probably wouldn't, but they aren't the kind of people we'd want to associate with at this stage in our lives, anyway. Does it hurt? Heck, yeah. All you can do is acknowledge the pain and move on, and if you can't move on, chat with a health professional about it.

Now, at this point, you can turn the tables on it with a certain amount of wit. When someone says something stupid, you can say something like "Oh, congratulations on meeting my expectations for saying something that dumb". When the occasional rude person who's old enough to know better says to me "You're fat", I look at them in mock shock, look down at my body, put my hands up to my cheeks, and say "OMG!!!!! I NEVER knew that!! OMG, I need to call my doctor RIGHT AWAY!!!! This is TERRIBLE!!!! Thank you so much for letting me know!!! Really, I would never have figured out I was fat if you hadn't told me!!!!" You know, something absolutely outrageous along that line, and in as loud a voice as I possibly can so that everyone's watching. Then have fun watching them freak out as everyone stares, turn around, and walk away calmly. Mind you, this takes a little bit of practice and some moxy, but I bet you could pull it off just fine.


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Old 04-06-2010, 02:19 PM   #42
Tysyacha
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The three-letter "F" word? No way! Me too! *HUGS* Moxie? You've got plenty of it!
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Old 04-06-2010, 02:51 PM   #43
Tysyacha
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I just found out that three of the nine teenagers charged in Phoebe Prince's bullying have entered "not guilty" pleas through their lawyers:

http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/...7J6mQD9ETNRU80
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Old 04-07-2010, 12:00 AM   #44
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Tsy: There's a difference between competitive and being a complete a******. (Speaking as one who has clumsily crossed that line many times). No you're not a commie pinko.

It really bothered me how other students would do stuff to the severely handicapped students, the whole less than human treatment. Especially the "less aware" of these students. I remember this one voc. ed class where classmates on the other side of the room would get this one kid with down syndrome to make, shall we call them obscene hand gestures. She showed it off and then get scolded for it. However our teacher was no fool and called them on it. They tried it one or two more times but the rest of us told the perpetrators to knock it off every time.

Moving around some, I never got to know many handicapped, but I would at least smile or nod in acknowledgment of them and it seemed to make all the difference to them.

I knew one guy who had severe cerebral palsy. He had some attitude with his vocabulary keyboard voice. And he had a great sense of humor too. We played cards here and there, and man he *always* won. NOTHING got by him. He was a killer Tetris player too. He went on to get a masters in theoretical physics or something. Some advanced degree and field of study WAY over my head. I'm happy for him.

Regarding workplace bullying: I think there is yet light at the end of the tunnel as there have been studies into how counter productive it actually is to business productivity in the long run. Clark Howard addressed these issues a few times on his radio show.

Also, it's good to finally see a show that addresses these issues, called undercover boss--admittedly I'm not caught up on that but it looked good. I wish more employers would do this stuff to see what really goes on in their company.
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Old 04-07-2010, 12:20 PM   #45
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Please don't call me a "political correctness Nazi", but it turns out that a lot of us with disabilities, including myself, don't like to be called "handicapped" anymore, or "special needs". Many of my friends and I prefer to be called "people (or students/kids) with disabilities", because it's putting our humanity first instead of our disability. Thanks for your support of our efforts, and of me. It means the world!
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Old 04-07-2010, 01:32 PM   #46
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Being half Japanese I tended to get teased about being Asian. Some of the more typical "size" jokes would pop up. One guy wouldn't let it go, so finally I said very loudly, "Why are you so interested in how big I am down there? I thought you were heterosexual. I'm flattered in your interest in me, but I'm married and until that changes, she's the only one who's going to see it. I do have a couple of gay friends though that I could set you up with. Maybe one of them will be well endowed enough to satisfy your need." From what I understand he never went to that venue again.

Then of course there was the time someone kept calling me "Chink." He kept telling me to get outta his bar(funny because I was actually friends with the owner... a Korean lady). I was ignoring him and continuing to drink. Well he didn't like that to much and grabbed my shoulder saying, "I'm talkin to you chink." Now, having had police training(and a bit of military training in that area ), I had him locked up easily. While I had him there I said in my absolutely horrible fake Japanese accent, "Oh so sorry, I am not Chinese. I am Japanese." Then I switched to my REAL Texan accent, and said, "Ya shoulda used Jap, Zipperhead, or slant. I might have at least turned around if you said Gook, but seeing as how my dad served in Nam I'd still have been upset about it. If yer gonna be a racist prick at least get your slurs correct." I then shoved him outside and the bouncers refused to let him back in.

Ya know it's funny. People get all upset about slurs against blacks, or even Hispanics, but for some reason nobody minds the slurs against Asians.
.


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Old 04-07-2010, 02:32 PM   #47
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Oddly enough, after Junior High school, I wasn't bullied very often. Of course this was back in the 'students have rights era'. Seems I felt it was my right to read the Anarchist Cookbook and How to Kill during lunch breaks. As an old saying usually aimed at relationships, you don't mess with someone crazier than you are.

I looked back at some of the other posts, and was reminded of WC Fields. He was a bit snockered one day and some temperance type exclaimed, 'Sir, you're drunk!'

He turned to her, and replied, "Madam, you are ugly. But tomorrow, I will be sober.'


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