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Old 07-03-2010, 03:01 AM   #1
machievelli
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The Farce is strong in this one.

The Farce is strong in this one.

This last week I reviewed May The Farce Be With You. By Jiara. I thought I had read it before but I had not. Instead I had read what you might call it's sequel, May The Farce Be With You Too.

Over in Tysyacha's Inquiring Mind thread I had commented about the effect of Loki in my life, and between him and my Muse, this popped up almost complete.

Of course just my luck it had happened at work so several people got a chance to see me chortling as I rapped it out. The title, and the work is an homage to Jiara.

Hope you enjoy it.

"How did we beat the Mercenaries again?" Marai asked rubbing her head. That party last night had been a little much. She didn't know there were that many varieties of whiskey brandy liquor and tihaar.

Atton just waved idly. "We dressed Mical up in a big bad Darth bad guy suit, and he called the mercs, demanding to know where they were. When Azkul came on Mical told them they were supposed to be on Korriban. They were so upset they left half their weapons."

"Well that means I can go meet the Masters at the temple."

"Sure." Atton was paying attention to the panel in front of him.

"I could use some company."

"Of course you would, but I have to fix this or we're never getting off the ground."

"Oh, all right." She left the compartment. Behind her, Atton was muttering, "Nar Shaddaa rules, she's wearing underwear, that hot tank top and knee length pants. I'm wearing everything I have just in case. First hand... No, I've got that auto-set skifter in my side deck. Squeeze the deck, it's blank, scratch on the top of the deck, it adds one per scratch, tap the face of the deck with my finger and it goes negative one for each tap... Down side is if she catches me cheating, she may knee me in the groin again. But it's better than nothing..."

Myra was standing beside the oven, looking at her watch. "What are you doing?" Marai asked.

"Making drop biscuits." She replied. "I just wish I had found the baking powder."

A pair of arms came around Marai from behind, caressing her chest. "Guess who?"

Marai sighed. "You know, Handmaiden, everyone else covers the other person's eyes when they do that."

"I know, Smoochy-Poo. I just like to have fun when I do it." "You know I have the cutest little lace and satin thing I want to see you in..."

Marai wriggled. Then Mira's last comment registered. "What did you use instead of baking powder?"

"Well I used-" There was a thump and the front of the stove bulged, and smoke rose from the wrecked unit. "-Gunpowder. Looks like they're done." She grabbed a hammer and began trying to pry open the smashed door. "Want one?"

"Not right now, I have to go see the masters at the temple." Marai squirmed out of the Handmaiden's grip, and headed to the starboard cargo hold.

Mandalore was laying on his back, arms bulging as he bench pressed Visas."What are you doing?" His left hand was clamped around her upper thigh, his right just below her ample bosom.

"Exercising." Mandalore replied, counting his reps softly.

"He was protesting that we don't have a weight room, and said I would do as long as I kept my body rigid." Visas replied calmly.

"I was going to see the masters-"

"Not until I finish the set." Mandalore snapped. Visas shrugged.

"All right, where is Bao Dur?"

"Out on the tarmac." Mandalore grunted. Marai shook her head, walking down the ramp. There was a rhythmic thumping, and she saw Bao Dur with a racket ball racket slapping the remote into the wall, hitting it again as it bounced toward him. Leaving well enough alone she walked toward the entrance to the landing bay.

She turned the corner, and found the entrance to the Jedi Academy, with Kreia already waiting. Marai looked at her clothes, fussing with them. "How do I look?"

"Well the mascara is a bit thick, and the lipstick is just the wrong color." Kreia patted her on the cheek. "You look fine. Go on, they're waiting."

"You're not going with me?"

"No I have some... things I have to do first."

Marai went on alone Masters Kavar and Zaz Kai Ell were standing there, discussing the new curtains when she coughed to get their attention.

"Well we weren't sure you'd come." Kavar began.

"Wait, Marai held up her hand, looking back and forth. "Where's Master Lamar?"

"They looked about, and Zaz Kai Ell Cupped his hands. "Vrook! Move your buns!"

"Coming!" Marai's eyebrows quirked at the voice, something about it was familiar. Vrook came trotting in from the courtyard tossing something aside. She stared at him as he took his place.

"Before we begin, Masters. May I ask why Vrook is wearing eye shadow?"

The man blustered she walked back to the bundle that had been thrown aside, lifting out a white wig with long braids.

"I found that." He said defensively.

"Right." She dropped the wig.

"We have decided you are still to be exiled, and this time we're making sure you are cut off from the force."

“Why?” She asked.

“Because we said so.” Kavar replied.

"O-Kay." She agreed.

"Turn out your pockets."

"What?"

"Turn out your pockets." Vrook growled.

She reached down, and found a round flat stone with a red letter F in the center of it in her left had front pocket. Before she could react, Kavar snatched it out of her hand, and she fell into a faint.

*****

"Marai!" She was being shaken, and her eyes opened. Atton had her by her shoulders, shaking her so hard her head was snapping back and forth. She stopped him by punching him in the groin, looking at the others as she staggered to her feet. “Oh she loves me.” Atton moaned from the ground.

"What happened?"

"The masters are dead." Bao Dur commented. She walked over looking at them one by one. She knelt, rolling over Vrook's body. He had been replaced by a blow up dolly with a sign on it's chest that said, GROAN, GASP, DIE.

"Where's Kreia?" She demanded.

"I do not know." Visas said. “I know before you left Kreia had been talking to the Handmaiden about a leather corset with opera length hose and gloves-"

Marai screamed, "NO!!!!"

Marai sat up, clutching her chest, gasping. She rolled out of bed, padding past the sleeping Visas and Handmaiden, then corralled T3 in the engine room. She stopped him, and brought up the recipe file she had seen marked Bindo's Fried Gizka Stew With a note; NOT FOR THE TIMID.

She deleted it.


'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
Acceptance
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile
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Old 09-29-2010, 02:40 PM   #2
machievelli
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wrote


'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
Acceptance
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile
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Old 09-30-2010, 05:02 PM   #3
Tysyacha
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ONE LONG WORD: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHA!
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Old 09-30-2010, 09:15 PM   #4
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To be honest, it sorta reminded me of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Completely random. Also like Napoleon Dynamite. Oh yeah, and Spaceballs. I didn't like Napoleon Dynamite. Could hardly believe I read all of HHGTTG. Spaceballs was awesome.

Yeah, we'll call your story awesome.

On a side note, Tysy, that was two words. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH A." and "HAHA."


I think my work here is done. Cheerio!


Mom tells me I need brain food... but if writing ain't that, I don't know what is!

My work in progress:
Hidden Histories: The Galaxy Hacker

Have a read, give a review, yah?
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Old 10-01-2010, 02:11 PM   #5
JediMaster12
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Mach I was chuckling in the sterile office environment that I work in and I have to tell ya, you did a good job in putting verious elements together to make things funny and I think master Vrook will never get enough poking fun. Nice touch that you made it a passage of time with the gizka stew in the databank though I was pretty sure that Jiara used fried gizka and juma but anyway it had the same effect. Nice work on the humor box mach.

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