lfnetwork.com mark read register faq members calendar
View Poll Results: have I been honest and not overly critical?
Keep it up! 127 78.40%
Maybe a little slack 17 10.49%
Tighten up the restrictions 10 6.17%
go away 15 9.26%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 162. You may not vote on this poll


Thread: The Critic's 2 cents
Thread Tools Display Modes
Post a new thread. Add a reply to this thread. Indicate all threads in this forum as read. Subscribe to this forum. RSS feed: this forum RSS feed: all forums
Old 11-05-2010, 11:12 AM   #1161
machievelli
Local curmudgeon
 
machievelli's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Las Vegas Nevada
Posts: 2,820
Current Game: Dungeonseige series
Hot Topic Starter Veteran Fan Fic Author Helpful! Forum Veteran 
Fanfiction.net

Bastion of Light

Masked Felix

One year post TSL: As the Jedi students practice, something evil arrives among them.

You need to remember to do a visual edit of the work, and trust your spell checker. You used awnser when it should be answer. Also remember to put in the ‘ for words like don’t.

The piece is nice and foreboding. You know help is on the way, but will they arrive in time?

Defluo: Nyx
Shike77

TSL on Citadel Station: In an alternate universe the Exile and Atton meet in more congenial circumstances.

The piece has a nice flow, the characters sliding neatly into place. If there is more, I want to see it.

Java
Shike77

TSL after Malachor V: The crew gets to see an interesting sight.

The piece is funny, how both the Disciple and Atton pick up black eyes is choice, and the acrimonious discussion was just too fun.

Pick of the Week

Mobius
DWH

Pre KOTOR: A bitter parting

Like most of DWH’s stuff, this hits pretty hard. The pair are the perfect odd couple, and you can picture them twenty years later much the same way. The leave taking was harsh in that he did not give her time to even argue. The only thing I think that would have made it better is if she had followed.

Second Chances
DWH

19 years post KOTOR: Revan and her husband Carth decide on their own to find their missing son.

The piece flows very well, the antipathy Telos has for the Jedi well explained.

Pick of the Week

Just a Name
Wraithfighter

Pre KOTOR: Revan and Malak decide they have to have new names before they challenge the Mandalorians

The piece is interesting in that they choose new names so the Republic won’t know who is helping them. The characters are the same, yet there is also foreboding.

kotorfanmedia

Home Sweet Home
Revans Pet Duck

KOTOR on Dantooine: Mission deals with the loss of her home world

The piece is very well done, showing the misery Mission is going through, and highlighting the attempt by some in the crew to help her deal with it.

Averting obsession
RogueLadySabyne

KOTOR aboard Ebon Hawk: Revan and Carth deal with their emotions, one in hope the other in fear

The piece was excellent. Revan remembering her and Malak pushes Carth aside. Her reasoning is as one reviewer commented, once burned, twice shy. Very well done.

Pick of the Week

Failure
Qas

Pre KOTOR: The duel between Quarta and Juhani

The piece is good because we have heard about this fight, but never actually seen it. The teacher goading the student beyond relief is well done, and the fight well choreographed.

Pick of the Week

Viva Bastila
McFinnegan

Post KOTOR: When Helena dies, Bastila is cast adrift

The piece is well wrought because we knew from the story that Helena is terminally ill, but how does a Jedi, especially Bastila who has proven to have more depth of emotion than she originally showed, going to deal with it? Everyone portrayed was well done.

Pick of the Week

I am Revan
Rainwood

Originally reviewed 6 Oct 2006

Another look at the reaction to this revelation from KOTOR

I can’t think of anything really good to say about this that hasn‘t already been said. The reason is that 17 people gave it a thumbs up, and 14 commented before me, and quite honestly, I don’t want the kid to get a swelled head. This is fantastic work.

Reprise Pick of the Week

The Blue Side of the Force: Book I- Complements, Chapter 1
JediDWH

KOTOR on Taris: What if the captive wanted to tag along rather than merely escape?

In Davik’s stronghold, you find someone who had the key to the hanger shield, but all he wants to do is escape. Changing him into a woman and having her join the party is an interesting take on the situation.


'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
Acceptance
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile
machievelli is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 11-12-2010, 12:27 PM   #1162
machievelli
Local curmudgeon
 
machievelli's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Las Vegas Nevada
Posts: 2,820
Current Game: Dungeonseige series
Hot Topic Starter Veteran Fan Fic Author Helpful! Forum Veteran 
Star Wars: The rise
Fredi

No specific era given: A young Sith student starts earning prestige.

The author is obviously not an English speaker, as there are several words used incorrectly. As an example, in the section ‘with hit against’ it would read better by saying ‘from the impact with the wall’. and used tough (strong) instead of taught (receiving teaching), amaze instead of amazed.

The piece is generic and a bit bland. This piece led me to the following one, which had not been reviewed.

Darth Wyyrlok II the Undead warrior
Fredi

Pre TSL on Dxun: A young Sith gathers data for his master and himself.

Remember tenses. You send someone or they are sent, not sended. People are taken or took, not taked. grates are metal forms made of metal bars, not a term of capability like greatest, which is what I think you meant. Fool instead of foul.

The story is as I said of the one above, generic and bland. It is like watching a fight and travel scene.

The Chronicles of Jebord Esio & Belcameron Cook
JebusJM

Pre TOR: A pair of Gray Jedi carry out assassinations to aid the republic.

My question is why you’re using an escape pod for this mission; unlike a life raft or whaleboat which can be reused readily, whereas to return the life pod you will have to fly down and recover it.; defeating the purpose of a secret mission.

Sith Resurrection
Kael'thas Solo

30,000 years after the destruction of the Death Star: The Jedi order reacts to a new threat.

Not much to go by yet. Though the intro is interesting.


kotorfanmedia

Lanai Kessler: Prologue
Lighbulb

KOTOR on Dantooine: The crew plots the missions ahead.

The author suggested something interesting here; why couldn’t they hit three planets at the same time by splitting up? It would have been difficult to arrange in the game, but it cuts down the time spent.

Love in a Time of War
Infanta Magdelena

Remember conversation breaks. Also do a visual edit of your work, you used the wrong word several times.

The piece is a generic retelling of the arrival on Taris except for having Carth meet our Revan a bit earlier.

Resurrection
McFinnegan

Originally reviewed 6 October 2006 That review is below:

As Bastila deals with her mother’s death, Alana (Revan) delivers on a promise.

The style is excellent, the subject matter up to the author’s usual high standards. Worth a read.

Reprise Pick of the Week

Time Goes On
Noneko

Originally reviewed 13 October, 2006, that review is below:

A meeting in a bar after KOTOR I.

The piece has the look of a polished art work, and the simplicity of the scene hides the fact that it is very well done. A simple meeting between two old friends tell more of the pain in the main character than a thousand words could have done.

Reprise Pick of the Week

Falooge
Arrow

Pre KOTOR: Just a bunch of Sith younglings sitting around the fire and telling ghost stories.

The piece is a nice and gentle flow unlike a lot of frenetic stories. Just a bunch of kids, even though they are Sith.

A Family Event
Charys

Originally reviewed 13 October, 2006, that review is below:

KOTOR I parody with a Halloween theme.

All right, I have lambasted people for this before. If the author had changed the name (In other words, not called it Halloween) I would have said nothing. So grumble grumble, complain, whine.

That out of the way, I roared. It was funny from start to finish. The characters have an advantage (Beyond seeming to all be stuck in the same house ala Drawn Together) of being able to ‘borrow’ every one else’s clothes to pretend. Having both Revan (Played by Mission in a blonde wig) Darth Revan (Played by Dustil) and Canderous wearing Carth’s jacket (With arguments as to whether it is rust colored or orange) the piece sort of grabs your hand like a friendly St Bernard puppy, and drags you to the end.

Reprise Pick of the Week

Fanfiction.net

Priorities
VanillaLatte

KOTOR on Tatooine: No said Revan isn’t stubborn.

The piece in the words of the author, was just a once off. A pity.

The Call of War
Carrat

Pre KOTOR: The battle of Malchor V

The piece is dark and Revan perfectly duplicitous.

Their Paths run Parallel
The Orginal Empathist

TSL on Malachor V: The Exile contemplates everything Kreia taught him.

The introspection was well done. Considered in the light suggested by the author, perhaps the right color for a Jedi should be gray.

Triss
The Lady Revan

Six years post KOTOR to 17 years: The daughter of Revan and Bastila goes in search of her missing father.

The piece is deep and dark. I got four chapters into it, and it was worth every second of it.

Pick of the Week.

Collusions
Noneko

TSL on Peragus: The events leading up to the Workers discovering that they have a Jedi in their midst

The piece has an excellent calm before the storm feel to it. The arrival of the Ebon Hawk, both T3 and HK50, and the people going about their business.

Kotor II The Exiles Story
RyuDraconis

One year post TSL: The Exile tries to explain to Visas why he must follow Revan into the Unknown.

The piece like the one above has a calm before the storm feel to it. The Exile’s explanation is well thought out.

Pick of the Week.


'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
Acceptance
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile
machievelli is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 11-19-2010, 10:56 AM   #1163
machievelli
Local curmudgeon
 
machievelli's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Las Vegas Nevada
Posts: 2,820
Current Game: Dungeonseige series
Hot Topic Starter Veteran Fan Fic Author Helpful! Forum Veteran 
I have been looking for work for the last week, but I am not worried yet.

Fanfiction.net

Goodbye
Bubblyofart

From the war of Exar Kun to pre Mandalorian Wars: A young boy rescued from Yavin IV grows to Jedi manhood.

Except for forgetting to separating word, the piece read and flowed well. The meeting with Bastila was well done.

Death of The Dying
VanGrul

Pre TSL aboard Ravager: Kreia has a final argument with Nihilus.

The piece flows well and we get a glimpse of the attitudes of each character. Nihilis almost sounds as if he is begging for death.

In Desperate Need of a Vacation
DWH

During TSL aboard Ebon Hawk: Yeah, they need a vacation.

Splitting the Exile into a pair of women was fun, and the story is up to what I expect from DWH. Arguments, Atton not only programming T3 to speak in iambic pentameter and listening to Corellian operettas?

Pick of the Week

Unlocking the Past
Darth Nameless

Post KOTOR: On the way home to Coruscant, the crew settles back into a normal life.

The piece was smooth and fun. Bastila stopping Revan from making an ass of himself was good.

Star Wars,The Great Hyper Space Wars
Darth OL Revan

A thousand plus years before KOTOR: A look into prehistory

Problems with spelling. It’s hustle and bustle, not hussel and bussel and merciful not mercival.

The piece was a difficult read. There are so many misspellings I wanted to open an ‘edit’ portal, the ones mentioned above are only the first.

A Battle of Cultures
Lady Revan

Pre KOTOR: The baby Revan is saved by her mother and a Mando’a woman

The piece was well wrought, though the battle was confusing in a bad way, since it was too confusing to fathom.

kotorfanmedia


Light Side Female Exile

Broken - Chapter 1: Halfway Gone
Lightbulb

20Years post KOTOR: A bounty hunter captures Atton in a bid to learn more.

The piece flows well, and the characters are well formed, though I can’t see Atton abandoning his winnings.

Other KOTOR characters

Brains
JediDWH

KOTOR en route to Tatooine: Kids will be kids.

The piece was a lot of fun. Having a game of zombie tag was just too much fun.

Pick of the Week

Progenitor
Vlork

Post KOTOR: An HK droid hunts for Revan

The piece is nice and confusing as the Jedi first discovers the murder scene, then is interrogated. One reviewer commented on the placing of a single line; ‘I am death’, and I agree, the placement was picture perfect.

Black and Yellow
Plutospawn

Post KOTOR: Mission and Dustil have a slight disagreement.

The piece flow well, and the scene is a lot of fun. Dustil still angry at Revan, and he uses cunning to remove Mission from the equation.

The Terrantatek
Joysweeper

Pre KOTOR during the Great Hunt: A Sith is upset to find Jedi are killing his target.

The piece drags a bit, spending too much on painting the scene and not enough on the characters.

The Kidnapping of Shen Matale
Revan’s Pet Duck

Pre KOTOR: Shen Matale is kidnapped

The piece is well wrought, but a bit confusing.


'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
Acceptance
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile
machievelli is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 11-26-2010, 10:14 AM   #1164
machievelli
Local curmudgeon
 
machievelli's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Las Vegas Nevada
Posts: 2,820
Current Game: Dungeonseige series
Hot Topic Starter Veteran Fan Fic Author Helpful! Forum Veteran 
Coruscant
Entertainment Center


As Yet Untitled: Prologue
Tysyacha

NonSW-Semi-autobiographical: A young woman sets out to a chess championship.

The piece is well done, kid. The description of the bus station is good, as I have seen stations like it.

kotorfanmedia

Other KOTOR characters

In Disguises No One Knows Ch. 1

Darth Meatbag

Endar Spire in orbit of Taris: The beginning of the story

Except for having Revan awake and busy with something else, this is a generic retelling of the introduction. The piece flows well, and her talking to herself (Just like any tech) is well done. The addition of the droid was curious, but fun.

An Unwelcome Recollection
ocelott

Originally reviewed 22 Dec 2006. That review is below:

During the interim between KOTOR and TSL: Revan deals with another part of her past.

The work is up to ocelott’s usual standards. The scene in the garden is perfect because Jolee is just himself, but that gives Revan what she needs, a willing ear and someone not too judgmental. All in all an excellent read.

Pick of the Week

The Last Good Thing, Chapter 1
Grimrabbit

Post KOTOR: An unexpected visitor.

The piece is as good as Grimrabbit gets, and that is plenty good. I agree with the one reviewer who said the Vrook vision detracted from the storyline.

Pick of the Week

What Dreams May Come, Chapter One
grimrabbit

Originally reviewed 22 Dec 2006. That review is below:

Set in the interim before KOTOR: Revan’s descent

The writing is excellent, the flow well thought out. The only problem I had with the character of Revan has already been voiced in Family Chapter one. But seeing the character progress does explain a lot.

Reprise Pick of the Week

Five Things That Never Happened to Carth Onasi
fearthainn

KOTOR on the Star Forge: Carth tries one last time

The piece flows very well and is fun to read. The situation; Carth in love with Bastila instead is well done.

Pick of the Week

Bitter Partings Chapter One
Rinter

Originally reviewed 29 Dec 2006. That review is below:

After Revan went in search of the Traya Academy, Carth receives her last message.

The style is well done, the work could use some polish, but don’t let that stop you from reading it.

Reprise Pick of the Week

Fanfiction.net

Exiled
TulakHorde

Pre TSL: The Exile begins her new life.

I am a purist so one minor thing; As David Weber said in his Mutineer’s Moon, the first thing the first sailors did when they built ships was give different names to the parts of the ship so no one would think they were landsmen. I wrote an article over at Lucas forums entitled Ship nomenclature, or; It's not a door, it's a hatch blast it! at http://www.lucasforums.com/showthread.php?t=200318.

The piece flows well, a slice of life where the character is just getting used to a new life.

Pick of the Week

Not Cut Out For Love
JediLianna25

Post KOTOR: Now eight months pregnant by Carth, Revan wonders how her life could have fallen apart.

The piece has you wanting to scream at Carth, or slap some sens into him. It wasn’t until after he left that Revan had even figured out her condition, something Carth should have figured out.

Paved Paradise
DWH

About 20 years post TSL: A member of the Onasi family returns to Telos just in time to be kidnapped.

I kept following this trying to figure out who it was. The voice sounded too young to be Dustil, and we can’t be sure if he is a direct descendant of Carth or merely a blood relative.

Synthetic Soul
Optronyx

During Clone Wars: A team of clones are placed as a forlorn hope to allow normal humans to escape.

The piece is interesting in that like any professional soldier, the clones understand what the term means, if you do not, look it up. But when a group of men are told to hold to the last man, the meaning becomes clear.

KotOR: Two Days Leave
Little Dragon

KOTOR on Dantooine: Revan gets a little unscheduled training and downright fun during some time off

The piece is interesting in that using the description, and looking at Canderous in the game, it is suggested that Revan is actually larger. An interesting twist, but odd.

Pick of the Week

I can't do this anymore
Lady Revan

Post KOTOR: After admitting his love, Revan must go into the unknown

The piece bounced you like a super ball. Revan bracing Bastila when she threatened to collapse, confessing his love, then running away as she lie abed.


'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
Acceptance
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile
machievelli is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 12-04-2010, 04:23 PM   #1165
machievelli
Local curmudgeon
 
machievelli's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Las Vegas Nevada
Posts: 2,820
Current Game: Dungeonseige series
Hot Topic Starter Veteran Fan Fic Author Helpful! Forum Veteran 
Coruscant Entertainment Center

Beyond the gentle promise
Revan sama

Before the characters of the games were among the Jedi: The heroes of the game meet.

Revan Sama turns out consistent work. I had to agree that it might not need to be written, but you're covering a part of history not often cpvered.

A Grim Fairy Tale
Tysyacha

NonSW: An elf princess is displaced by a new sister.

Like most of Tysyacha's stuff this one leads to a lot of interesting situations.

Pick of the Week

Fanfiction.net

Humean Emotion and the Logic Fairy
DWH
No specific era: Logic versus emotion

The piece is light and interesting, discussing the differences between logical and emotional decisions.

Hero
Amme Moto

Post KOTOR: Carth and Revan are reunited

The piece flowed so well, with the whole cast of the first game watching the lovers reunited on stage.

A Change
The Lady Revan

Post KOTOR: Revan has to decide who and what she is going to be

The piece drags a bit because a lot of it is merely watching the ascent. The character is divorced from time and reality.

Therapy for a Jedi
JMSlayer

Post KOTOR: The crew ends up in therapy

Having witnessed group sessions, this was really amusing. Having HK be the only one who got into it was a riot.

When We Dance
Eaving1989

Post TSL: As Carth retires, Atton finally admits his feelings to the Exile.

The setting, a retirement party, perfectly set the scene for Carth to finally propose. This is the catalyst that makes Atton voice his feelings. The Exiles reason for dancing with everyone but him is also explained.

Peepers
Rian Sage

20 Years before KOTOR: Malak and Revan experiment with kissing

It's a stereotypical pair of nosy kids watching what other people are doing, and trying it themselves. The ending, where they are going to see something dead is just pure kid.

kotorfanmedia

The Lord of Nothingness
Jin Phoenix

In interim between the War of Exar Kun and the Mandalorian Wars: A master teks his apprentice to Ilum.

The piece is tightly written and well made. The explanation, he would not have taken the boy if he didn't ask, was especially choice.

Bounty Hunter Tales; Calo Nord
Faltallon

No specific timegiven: To a hard core hunter, even turning on your own is just a day's work.

The piece is well wrought, the build up very well done, right up to the Betrayal.

Pick of the Week

The (very short) Journal of Carth Onasi
RevanandCarth

KOTOR on Taris: Who knew he kept a diary?

The piece is short but funny; Carth spent more energy on his missed Paranoids Anonymous meetings than anything else.

The Exile's 'Exiles'-Chap. 1 and 2
DarthBunny

Post TSL: A [artially combined crew from both games makes a discovery, even as T3 works to hide it

The piece flowed well, and was a good bit of fun to read.

The Jedi And The Soldier Chapter One: A Walk in the Park
JadenOnasi

Pre-Mandalorian Wars: Revan runs into Carth Onasi in more ways than one.

The piece is interesting in that characters who will meet two decades later literally run into each other. As the reader, my only question is how they will not recognize each other later?


'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
Acceptance
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile
machievelli is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 12-11-2010, 02:33 PM   #1166
machievelli
Local curmudgeon
 
machievelli's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Las Vegas Nevada
Posts: 2,820
Current Game: Dungeonseige series
Hot Topic Starter Veteran Fan Fic Author Helpful! Forum Veteran 
kotorfanmedia

Knights of the Old Republic: Revelations
VyLinvail
First, it is not a room, it's a compartment.

I have to agree with Jadi. The description broke up the action in an inopportune manner.

Well done.

Knights; Chapter one
Taris

Was posted 14 July 2005, Original review below:

The events aboard Endar Spire in KOTOR I
The character has a lot of internal dialogue which is fun to read. The story could use fleshing out, and the irritated Carth lambasting her because she is moving so slowly, and threatening to throw her in the lifepod is an excellent touch. People tend to be too polite in these games, even when they are furious. Worth a second glance.
Reprise Pick of the Week

Taking The Chance
lilianjoy

Originally reviewed 18 August 2006, that review is below:

After KOTOR I: Carth take the chance that Revan loves him.

An little vignette that fits so smoothly with the story line. Well done, well portrayed, like a good beer, a crisp and clean finish.

Reprise Pick of the Week

Reflection
RevanandCarth

Originally posted 25 August 2006, that review is below:

After KOTOR I: A man looks at how his life has changed for the better.

A lot of people see Carth and Saul as Ahab and the whale. But unlike Ahab, who I believe would have been a shattered man after the fact, Carth came out of it, and we all know why if your Revan is female. Good work.

Reprise Pick of the Week

May the Farce be with you too
Jiara

Originally reviewed September 1st 2006, that review is below:

The landing on the Rakata Homeworld, but not exactly what you would expect...

I am never surprised by Jiara’s work but she did it this time. This is a farce from beginning. From the arrival of Mr. Rourke from Fantasy Island to the wreck of the SS Minnow, I was sitting there stunned, trying to figure out what she had been smoking when the ending arrived.
Jiara’s work is always worth a read. Even when it confuses you.

Reprise pick of the Week

Warrior's Heart
CarthOnasiLVR

Originally reviewed 8 August, 2006, that review is below:

Set on Kashyyyk during KOTOR: Revan has a vision, then must return with Canderous to deal with Jagi.

The story moves quickly, and while I was a bit confused by the vision, it pulled me along. I assume it links to the part of her life that leads to her leaving before the Exile returns. The style is brisk, but clear, and the characters are fleshed out by the words.

Reprise Pick of the Week

Fanfiction.net

Love and Trust have Consequences
Clover64

Post TSL: With Kreia gone, the Exile now has to deal with her relationships

The piece flows well, and the Exile being unwilling to aqdmit her feelings for Atton are balanced by the unmerciful teasing she receives from Mira and Atton himself.

Orphic Verboten
Amber Penglass

Pre TSL: Atton is sent to collect the Exile, but things go awry.

A relatively good read, with all the calm before the feeling built in.

Fighting Spirit
Alexandra3

KOTOR aboard the Ebon Hawk: A little tinkering with armor leads to more

The piece is a slice of life aboard the ship, just tinkering and a brief kiss, but well done.

Pick of the Week

Staring
zanmato337

KOTOR aboard the Ebon Hawk:Is there a reason for her sly glances?

The piece is fun because you have two women dealing with the attraction one has for the other and failing miserably. Bastila has so many reasons for why she can't love Revan, yet feels it anyway.

Pick of the Week

Voices in the Wind
DWH

Pre Mandalorian Wars: Follow on to Mobius, the one left behind decides she is going to follow

The piece brings two scenes together; the man who had gone on speaking at his father's grave, and the same scene with the woman that loves him doing the same at her grandfather's grave. Both have pretty much the same plaints, and their reasons are different, but you can see them leaving together rather than separately.

Pick of the Week

KOTOR Sacrifice
Sithangel77

3 years post KOTOR: Revan says the words she never thought she would say again

The piece makes you want to weep for the lovers. Separated by three years, they still wish to cling to each other, and do one last time. Very well done.

Pick of the Week


'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
Acceptance
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile
machievelli is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 12-18-2010, 04:56 PM   #1167
machievelli
Local curmudgeon
 
machievelli's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Las Vegas Nevada
Posts: 2,820
Current Game: Dungeonseige series
Hot Topic Starter Veteran Fan Fic Author Helpful! Forum Veteran 
Coruscant Entertainment Center

wht cn i say? th prolog
Tysyacha

Non SW Fiction: appearing to be an homage to Flowers for Algernon, one of my favorite books

A family with some psychological problems deal with normal life. As always, Tysyacha has a lot of fun with this. As did I reading it.

Pick of the Week

STAR WARS : RETURN OF THE SITH
christos200

A century after TSL: The Sith return with a vengeance

First, read my post http://www.lucasforums.com/showthread.php?t=200318. The 'pilot room' is called either the bridge or the cockpit, depending on the size; in this case the cockpit.

I get the feeling that English is a second language to you, primarily because you tend to leave out words at odd times. The only other alternative is you have a problem I share; writing so fast you cannot keep up with yourself. This can be fixed by editing before posting. My standard mantra is, everyone together:

reread, edit, reread again, polish until smooth.

You tend to be very tight with characterization, making your characters caricatures rather than real people. Again, an editing problem.

Fanfiction.net

Revan's Suicide
Sithangel77

Post KOTOR: Everyone can forgive Revan, except for herself

The piece is stark and unrelieved. Revan is killing herself a step at a time in repayment for her sins, and you can feel her own pain not at the wounds, but at her own expiation.

Pick of the Week

The Black Abyss
Kikyo113

Post TSL on Dantooine: The exile has made her decision

The piece runs well, mainly introspection. The idea that the Exile and Revan had been in love makes it different.

Star Wars KOTOR: Way of the Force
DanteRevan

During the Jedi Civil War: Jedi and Sith collide on an outer rim world

The author is excellent in description. The scene is well laid out and the fight well choreographed.

Star Trek: Crossover
kb7rky

Set during Jedi Knight II: People of two different galaxies work together to escape captivity

Having played the game, it was interesting seeing the two worlds collide. The Federation character commenting on planets and people, while Tavion, the villain of Jedi Knights III acting human rather than Sith. No explanation is ever given about how the ships crossed over, or how they would return.

The Change of Destiny

xInuyashaxangelx

Pre KOTOR Alternate Universe: Instead of Revan, Malak is captured

First, read my post http://www.lucasforums.com/showthread.php?t=200318. Ships have decks and ports, not floors and windows.

The piece is well done. One of those I wish I had the time to read all the way through.

Pick of the Week

Narth Ocasi and the Star Fork of Evil
CortessaBlatt

Alternate universe KOTOR: Don't let this guy get bored, trust me.

The piece flows alarmingly, and the name changes were choice. Bastila becoming Bastardella and Jolee J Lo. just as example. The humor is a bit forced, but flowed well.

kotorfanmedia

The Price Paid

Robinson133
40 years before the Mandalorian Wars: The new war spreads to Coruscant.

An interesting read with Jolee as a young master. The discussions about what the code says and what the masters agree to got a bit wearing, but was necessary to the story development.

Best Intentions
Dinah Lance

Post TSL: The Onasi kids, Dustil and Ana have a brief adventure on Nar Shaddaa.

The piece flows well, the interplay between the siblings what you might expect from a girl in training struggling against the strictures of that training. Mission laughing because Ana (now 14) came up with the same line she had used on Carth all those years ago.

Pick of the Week

Sacrifice
Ocelott

Originally posted January 16 2007 that Review is below:

Aboard the Endar Spire: The thoughts of Trask during the last moments of his life.

The scene is well done, and the basics of dealing with someone who has had their memories erased well documented.

What I though was interesting was the idea that Trask was actually Revan’s brother. It makes his sacrifice more important.

Reprise Pick of the Week

Just Close your Eyes
Evil Shall Giggle

KOTOR on the Rakata homeworld: The ending is not good

The piece is well done, the interplay between Bastila lying on her death bed and Revan is very well portrayed.

Pick of the Week

Solace
Amber Penglass

Originally reviewed 12 January 2007, that review is below:

KOTOR during mission on Korriban: Trapped in a cave in, Carth and Revan deal with the Leviathan revelation.

The style is good the scenes crisp and well laid out. Some spelling problems (exhilerating is spelled with an A) and you forgot one conversation break. Not enough to really complain about. 19 readers gave it a thumbs up, and it deserved them.

Reprise Pick of the Week

The Twi’lek and the Wookiee[/url]
tWiNkLet

Originally reviewed 12 January 2007, that review is below:

Zaalbar and Mission tell the story of how they met.

The story flows well, the style jumping as each character speaks, assuring not only continuity but an automatic feel for who is speaking.

The explanation of how Griff was able to leave without Mission rings more true than the claims Mission made in the game concerning Lena, though the version of Mission’s first meeting with Zaalbar does not work as well.

Reprise Pick of the Week


'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
Acceptance
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile
machievelli is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 12-25-2010, 08:28 PM   #1168
machievelli
Local curmudgeon
 
machievelli's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Las Vegas Nevada
Posts: 2,820
Current Game: Dungeonseige series
Hot Topic Starter Veteran Fan Fic Author Helpful! Forum Veteran 
Coruscant Entertainment Center

Birth of Souls
JediMaster12

SW Fiction with no specific date specified: A citizen of Avalon returns because of a mystic call.

The piece like a lot of JM12s work give you a lot of anthropological data that you have to sift through. This is not a negative, I enjoy her work, especially such material. She does the same thing I do, but mine leans harder on military minutiae.

Pick of the Week

STAR WARS: A NEW THREAT
Christos200

Approximately 2 years after the previous work: The Republic hunts for the Ebon Hawk

The piece is too short and scattered for an understanding of the plot to unfold. You have to slow deown, kid. Think of making a cake. Unless you're using a premade mix, it cannot simply be thrown together. Take it slow, make sure all of the ingredients are there.

Now go out and try again.

kotorfanmedia

Love in a Time of War
Infanta Magdalena

KOTOR on Taris: A basic layout of what happens on the planet before heading into the lower city.

Having our Revan be just some translator assigned to Bastila's staff is interesting. The piece flows well.

The Freezing
AnimeAngel

KOTOR on Dantooine: Bastila wishes she had been able to divert Revan's path.

The piece is very well done, primarily introspective, and she is wishing he would listen to her. Her end, that she is better off not loving him.

The Final act
Robinson133
During the war of Exar Kun: Jolee must defeat his wife and return her for justice
Jolee is perfect in this piece, trying to clean up the mess he believes is all his fault.

The New Sith Student
Wyvern

KOTOR on Korriban: A surprising addition to the faculty

The piece is good because you have a secondary character; Trask Ulgo, survive to fight on. I wish I could read on.

Kata
Irhal

No specific era given: Practice makes perfect.

The piece is only the training kata, but every move is choreographed perfectly. You can feel the rhythm of the character, and I loved it immensely.

Pick of the Week

Quiet Death
LordRevan

KOTOR aboard Endar Spire: The Jedi that fought on the deck near the bridge gets her time on stage.

The piece is well doen, the female Jedi gets her chance on stage. The idea that her life was incidental to what has happened is perfect.

Fanfiction.net

Force, What Force?
Kitterpillar

KOTOR aboard Endar Spire: Our unknowing hero discusses the Force in the time honored manner

The piece was a bit of fluff, but well done. The old 'Force as duct tape' was bandied about at just the right time.

Nar Shadaa Style
Kitterpillar

TSL Aboard Ebon Hawk: Booze, strip poker, and hidden cameras

The piece is a bit like the one above, cute and well laid out. The idea that with a tie hand they both have to strip what remains is cute, especially when you find out it's in the rulebook!

Pick of the Week

Stowaway
Kitterpillar

TSL en route to Onderon: Two of our fearless crew aren't so fearless...

Well Kitterpillar struck again having both Atton and Mical frantic about something small and harmless. The end was just too choice.

Pick of the Week

The End Of a World
Kitterpillar

Pre KOTOR: Malachor V

Kitterpillar has done it again, this time in a serious vein. The author came up not only with where they had set the generator, but also why the Exile lost her connection to the Force originally.

Pick of the Week

Won't Say
Amme Moto

KOTOR on Manaan: Rogers and Hammerstein take over for a few minutes

The piece rang through with a lot of humor; the entire female contingent involved in a song about love. Mission's comment, that she was only involved because the Jedi needed a trio on one side just too funny.

Pick of the Week

KOTOR Original Ending
LongshotOR

TSL on Malachor V: The end of the game in this author's eyes

The piece is confusing because there are only scene breaks, no conversation breaks at all.


'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
Acceptance
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile
machievelli is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 12-26-2010, 04:37 AM   #1169
christos200
Rookie
 
christos200's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Greece
Posts: 225
Current Game: battlefront 2
Contest winner - Modding 
machievelli you said my story was short but i wrote only the first part. i didnt write for some time not because i ended the story but because my computer had a problem.
christos200 is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 12-27-2010, 08:22 AM   #1170
machievelli
Local curmudgeon
 
machievelli's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Las Vegas Nevada
Posts: 2,820
Current Game: Dungeonseige series
Hot Topic Starter Veteran Fan Fic Author Helpful! Forum Veteran 
When you've posted a couple of chapters, let me know, and I will review it again


'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
Acceptance
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile
machievelli is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 12-28-2010, 06:49 AM   #1171
christos200
Rookie
 
christos200's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Greece
Posts: 225
Current Game: battlefront 2
Contest winner - Modding 
okay
christos200 is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 01-01-2011, 11:45 AM   #1172
machievelli
Local curmudgeon
 
machievelli's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Las Vegas Nevada
Posts: 2,820
Current Game: Dungeonseige series
Hot Topic Starter Veteran Fan Fic Author Helpful! Forum Veteran 
Coruscant Entertainment Center

star wars: apprentice of the force
Christos200

36 years after ROTS, Alternate universe: With the Jedi gone and the Rebellion broken, what can be done to stop the Empire?

The technical things that need work have been pointed out. Wh, at I would like to address is length.

So far I have looked at three of your works, most no more than prologues. As a reader, and a critic, I'd like you to do something for me; write a chapter minimum length five pages, and send them to me. I'll critique and beta read it, and send it back. Once we have a good enough length, I'll let you know and you can post it.

Pawn Endgame
Emalin

TSL on Malachor V: Atton decides to trim back the competition.

Emalin has always done good work and this is no exception. The flow of thought, the confrontation, all portrayed exactly as you might expect.

Good work, and long time no see.

Pick of the Week

The Jedi Pawn
Kael'thas Solo

a millennia after KOTOR: The Sith rediscover the Star Forge as a young knight goes forth to confront them

The piece is short, but well wrought. The characters live and breath and that is always a good thing.

Technical note: You don't even try to explain how the Star Forge had survived, a situation that must make a lot of readers confused.

Fanfiction.net

KOTOR Destiny's New Path
Robbie the Phoenix

KOTOR Alternate Universe: What if Malak had been captured instead?

A pity I can't read more than the first chapter; the opus is 27 chapters long. Just from the comments made by the author I see it would be worth it.

KOTOR 2 Original Ending edited
LongshotOR

TSL on Malachor V: The climactic battle.

The only thing I can ding you on is several times you left out conversation breaks. Think of it this way;

A ship coming into port needs sonar to spot underwater obstructions. By leaving out conversation breaks, you shut down the sonar, and make the ship liable to damage.

KOTORII The Ebon Hawk's Aborted Songfest
R Little Dragon

TSL en route to Dantooine: An evening of downtime and teasing

The piece flows well, pretty much everyone but Visas and HK getting involved. Both Atton and Mira lambasting the music of the Echani and Mandalorians spiced it up, along with an aborted limerick finished later by the author.

Lies
Dearing

During the Clone Wars: Just another day in a clone's life

The only problem I had is technical, and is addressed below. The piece flowed well and the clone's 'been there done that' attitude the perfect foil.

A squad sized strike team has the most balanced weapons fit known, because they might run into anything. The idea that none of them had something made to take out an armored opponent is absurd considering they fight super battle droids.

Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic
Zerath

KOTOR aboard the Endar Spire: The story begins

The story is well done, and not as generic as it usually is done. Having Trask running toward his room anticipating meeting his room mate is good, though the extras he brought along bought it before they could do much.

The Trouble with Love
Clover64

Post TSL aboard Ebon Hawk: Now the hard part is over, except for the love as it were...

The piece is well done though it had grammar problems. The confrontation between the Exile and Atton, broken up by Mira, was well done.

kotorfanmedia

One Last Thing
Yggdrasil

KOTOR on Dantooine: Quatra Leaves one last message

The piece is a generic farewell message, and well done. I had to agree with another reviewer because of Quatra's refusal to return love, but suggesting that Juhani go for the gusto if it comes by again.

The Gift Of...
A Wilson

Originally reviewed 1 Feb 2007, that review is below:

At the end of KOTOR: As Revan lays in a coma, each of her friends say goodbye.

The ending was stock, as was the basic idea.

After saying that and probably breaking the authors heart, I have this to say; It was GOOD! Well worth the read.

19 readers gave it a thumbs up and 13 reviewed it before me. Does that tell you how good?

Reprise Pick of the Week


Thought that counts
Dinah Lance

Post KOTOR: Jolee receives a couple of gifts

The piece is the usual you would expect from Dinah, meaning it's well done. Jolee reminiscing about the first piece of furniture he had made. The last thoughts, that after it breaks he will have to now rebuild it, staying away from the council in the bargain was pure Jolee

Pick of the Week

Smart Man
PlutoSpawn

Pre KOTOR on Telos: Carth promises this is the last time.

The piece is good, flowing well. The description of the destruction wrought by Morgana after they have decided to go back inside was very good.

The Jacket
Alexandra

Pre KOTOR on Telos: How Carth came to own that specific Jacket

The piece is well done, with Dustil's explanation of why he chose that specific color.

A KOTOR Carol
RevanGoddess

Originally reviewed 1 Feb 2007, that review is below:

A year after Darth Revan regains her title: The revelations from A Christmas Carol ala KOTOR

What can I say that 16 thumbs up hasn’t already?

You did what I tell people to do with a seasonal story; you left out all of the Christmas references and still told one hell of a story!

Reprise Pick of the Week


'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
Acceptance
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile
machievelli is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 01-01-2011, 03:00 PM   #1173
Canaan Sadow
Junior Member
 
Canaan Sadow's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Endor
Posts: 366
Current Game: Pokemon & K2
Yes, I know that I didn't explain how the Star Forge "survived"... not yet anyway. I plan to do that soon, however.
Canaan Sadow is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 01-02-2011, 11:59 PM   #1174
Emalin
I is YOUR DOOM
 
Emalin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Deep space
Posts: 169
Contest winner - Fan Fiction 
Much obliged, machievelli. Yes, it's been a long time. I just got back into the KOTOR series again, and I would love to produce more work in the future - if/when I can find the time. Good to know you're still reviewing!




---KotOR 2 Fanfics---
Pawn Endgame | Return of the Gizka

Click here to visit my art thread
Emalin is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 01-03-2011, 11:47 AM   #1175
JediMaster12
Dum Spiramus Tuebimur
 
JediMaster12's Avatar
 
Status: Moderator
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Buried in books...literally
Posts: 5,933
Current Game: Assassin's Creed
LFN Staff Member Veteran Fan Fic Author Contest winner - Fan Fiction Forum Veteran 
Thank you mach for your review. I do tend to put a lot of cultural tidbits in there and that is probably with my obsession with multiculturalism and I wanted to try an emphasize that just because you live with a people all you life doesn't mean you know everything.

I will say this though when I wrote it, I had just finished seeing my holiday favorite The Little Drummer Boy so I had much of the traditional stories on my brain plus some facts about Yule and ideas about the dead. Thanks again mach.

JediMaster12 is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 01-07-2011, 04:16 PM   #1176
machievelli
Local curmudgeon
 
machievelli's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Las Vegas Nevada
Posts: 2,820
Current Game: Dungeonseige series
Hot Topic Starter Veteran Fan Fic Author Helpful! Forum Veteran 
Coruscant Entertainment Center

The story of Revan Darius
Kreia001

No specific era given, though probably after ROTS: The son of a Bounty Hunter sets out on an adventure.

The piece is fast paced, and that is part of the problem; you go from sixteen watching his father die, to waking up on a ship with nothing intervening. The only character that has any depth is the father.

Slow down a tad. Draw the story out more.

Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic: The Shadow Empire
Kreia001

Three years post TSL:

Remember conversation breaks. Also, the word would be lay or lie, not lied. That isn't caught by a spellchecker

Again, as I said above, you're pushing the pace. What I have seen so far is good, but I feel it could have been about five pages longer.

Zero-Sum Game
Tysyacha

Post TSL: A new class of Jedi train on Coruscant, and young love begins to flower.

The piece is sheer Tysyacha, with all the flair she usually shows. Waiting for more.

kotorfanmedia

Displacement In The Old Republic, Chapter 1---
CPunchMaster

KOTOR on Taris: An extra person is added to the mix

The author added the character so smoothly that it would have fit perfectly. The only thing I wondered about was how long before KOTOR does start? He was pre-positioned perfectly.

The Gizka Problem
Crystal001

KOTOR on Korriban: The Pied Piper of Korriban?

The piece was funny in that I don't think anyone else would have considered this option. Sort of like the Trouble with Tribbles when they beamed the entire lot of them onto the Klingon ship.

As the Fires Blaze
Far

Pre- KOTOR: What if they had not tried to redeem Revan?

The piece is good from the introspection point of view. You have the clumsy miner who you know is Revan, dreaming of being a great warrior, and the council still discussing why they did what they did.

Escape
LordRevan

KOTOR on Dantooine: Reaching out in friendship makes Sasha escape from her torment

I loved the piece because most see Sasha as just the side quest they made for her. In my own work I made Sasha part of the team.

Pick of the Week

Brejik's Cleverness
Crystal001

KOTOR on Taris Alternate Universe: The Swoop Bike race ends tragically

I love an author willing to tweak the story this much. It throws the entire story completely out of kilter, meaning someone else will have to become the hero(ine).

Pick of the Week

Part 1: The Endar Spire/upper Taris
Crystal001

KOTOR aboard Endar Spire: A retelling of the beginning

The piece starts well before the attack, laying the ground work for the reactions of the characters. My favorite line is the end considering the piece before it.

Pick of the Week

Fanfiction.net

A Sisters Empathy
Eaving1989

Eight years Post KOTOR: The heroines return, but we're only sure of one happy ending.

The piece is well laid out, the angst of returning to the unknown well portrayed. The counterpoint of one happy ending with the other still up in the air perfect.

Pick of the Week

Coming Together

Helena L

KOTOR on Dantooine: What do our heroes want from the future?

The piece is basically a generic retelling, but there is added depth to Jacob (Revan) and Bastila.

KotOR III The Lost Ones
Childe At Heart

Post TSL: Bastila sets out to track down the crew from TSL, with only two options on who to contact

The piece was too short to get more than an idea of where to go. Don't let that disturb you, however, I just did not have the time to read more than the first portion, and there are 30+ more chapters...

Bring Me to Life
Roach4 Life

KOTOR Probably after Leviathan: The song by Evanescence is used for a song-fic

The song is one of my favorites in the last decade, and the thoughts flooding their minds fit the song perfectly.

Pick of the Week

Consequences
Iluvbaodur

Post KOTOR: The Exile struggles with memories and the feeling that the force might be returning.

The piece flows well, the character fighting the memories and feelings.

Nightmares
CortessaBlatt

Post KOTOR Revan is driven by her nightmares

Technical note: January is tied to the Roman Empire, violating the 'Long ago in a Galaxy Far, Far away' of George Lucas. Also, the time you're using appears to be standard, meaning you are setting it on a planet with exactly the same as our own 24 hours. Both minor.

That said, I loved it. Revan falling back into the dark, but holding her friends safe by escaping, only to be hunted down by those same friends. Very tragic.

Pick of the Week


'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
Acceptance
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile
machievelli is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 01-16-2011, 01:20 AM   #1177
machievelli
Local curmudgeon
 
machievelli's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Las Vegas Nevada
Posts: 2,820
Current Game: Dungeonseige series
Hot Topic Starter Veteran Fan Fic Author Helpful! Forum Veteran 
Running way late this week, sorry.

Coruscant Entertainment Center

Zero-Sum Game: Ch. 1 Interlude
Tysyacha

Post KOTOR: The race for the Grand master post heats up

The piece is up to Tys' usual stand meaning its a fun read. The characters are a lot of fun to witness, and the situation is fun as well.

Fanfiction.net

KotoR I Duel of the Fates
The Black Dragon Ranger

KOTOR: The climactic battle

The word is dying, not dieing.

The piece is confusing because you see it just as the typical fight for Sith seniority until the end.

Lessons Learned
Zerbinetta

Post TSL: A quick course in becoming a Jedi... Yeah, right

The piece is light and amusing. The Exile comes across as 'it's easy', and the ending line was just too much fun.

KOTOR The Jedi Civil War
Lexington's Hammer

KOTOR aboard Endar Spire: The adventure begins

It would be fight(er) pilot, not fight pilot.

Technical note: Melee is a form of combat. A melee weapons is anything you can hold to hit your opponent. Go to http://www.lucasforums.com/showthrea...=164363&page=2 post #45 where I explain it.

The piece is a generic rendition of the fight aboard Endar Spire with no surprises.

Danger Beyond Vader
Typewriter King

Post ANH: The Warlord art of negotiation

The piece is bland and needs punching up. The one battle is confused.

Discarded KOTOR scene 5872
Crazyocelot

KOTOR on Manaan: A fan-fic author has it out with the uncooperative characters

The piece starts out normal, then collapses into farce as characters arrive who are not supposed to be there, revealing parts of the back plot, arguing over what should of happened and what they think they want. The poor author is caught in the middle, the fractious characters complaining when they don't get their way. Finally the author just throws his hands up in disgust and leaves.

Pick of the Week

kotorfanmedia

Sage Advice
PlutoSpawn

Post TSL: An unlikely group decides to follow the Exile into the unknown

The piece is fun in it's owen way, just a few people ducking the victory party, it would seem, but their motive are suspect. By the end you have the Disciple, Mission, Jolee and Zaalbar off on their own expedition to find Revan.

Pick of the week

What Possible FutureVanillaLatte

KOTOR on the Unknown Planet: Which future will ring true?

The piece is a well wrought nightmare of what could have happened from that point on. The author kept a lot of people alive who would have died in a dark side ending, but that didn't save them from eventually dying anyway.

Pick of the week

The show Must go on
Arrow

Post KOTOR on Coruscant: Dustil spends a night celebrating an anniversary

The piece is interesting in that Dustil's entire evening is disjointed until the very end. His sadness paints the scene even when he is taking the girl to bed, and the end is poignant in giving us a reason for what he has done.

The Hidden Stash
The Disciple

KOTOR aboard Ebon Hawk: It's really bad with tach glands added.

The piece is funny because you just know Jolee is a moonshiner at heart. The characters slip as the dreams begin, Saul apologizing for bombing Teloe, and Carth accepting it was bizarre.

Killing
Princess Artemis

KOTOR aboard Leviathan: Visions while in pain

The piece is confusing as most nightmare are. The warning not to kill 'her' is interesting, the other speaker, obviously his late wife warning him not to harm Revan

Bastila's Ambition
Joysweeper

Pre KOTOR: Who created Revan's new Personna?

The piece starts disjointed, someone working frantically to save a life. By the end you feel loathing for Bastila, someone willing to destroy a mind to save the universe.


'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
Acceptance
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile

Last edited by machievelli; 01-22-2011 at 11:05 AM. Reason: wrong link
machievelli is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 01-23-2011, 11:38 AM   #1178
machievelli
Local curmudgeon
 
machievelli's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Las Vegas Nevada
Posts: 2,820
Current Game: Dungeonseige series
Hot Topic Starter Veteran Fan Fic Author Helpful! Forum Veteran 
Zero-Sum Game: Ch. 2
Tysyacha

Post KOTOR: There is always time for a prank...

Like all of Tys' stuff, this was well done. Reprogramming a droid to act as comic relief was fun and the snap choice of who would give the lecture instead a riot.

Pick of the Week

kotorfanmedia

Lost Jedi chapter 1 Aftermath
Darth Red Head

Post TSL: The Exile deals with the loss of Atton, and the future

The piece is well done and the feeling and voice of each character is distinct and clear. The angst felt by not only the main character but all who journey with her comes through like a carillon of bells. The ending, with another dark fate on the horizon is very well done.

Technical note: It is a common problem for people to use common words landsmen would use but applying them to ship areas. Please read the website below Ship nomenclature, or; It's not a door, it's a hatch blast it! Machievelli for the correct terms.

Pick of the Week

Rogue Lady-Rogue Jedi
RogueLadySabyne

Post KOTOR: Revan deals with the death of her mother.

RLS has always turned out quality work, and this is no exception. The ritual of cutting her hair to leave on her mother's grave fits with her anger at the Council.

Pick of the Week

Past Mistakes; Prologue
Nivenus

Post KOTOR: Dustil's training under of all people, Jolee

It should be take over (Present tense) rather than took (Past tense)

The piece flowed well, and Dustil's rationalization of why his renewed attack perfectly done.

Fearless
RC773

KOTOR aboard Endar Spire: The death and soon to be rebirth of Trask Ulgo.

You left a word out 'you (into) a monster'.

The piece flowed well, and one reviewers comment was welcome, since there are few Trask stories out there

Bastila's Touch
Joysweeper

Pre KOTOR: Bastila's thoughts on what has been done to Revan

The piece is a clear concise rendition of how Revan becomes the main character. The specifications are tight, and you can follow step by step what had been done to mold the nascent mind.

Alive Chapter 1-Hunters
Kagi Vayun

Pre KOTOR: With Revan dead (He thinks) Bastila is now the primary target

The piece has a smooth flow and the bounty hunter chosen is perfect for the job.

Fanfiction.net

The Jedi and the Jacket
Woman of Rohan

Post KOTOR: A man and his jacket...

The piece is thoroughly delightful. It reminds me of a commercial from the 70s when a woman is traipsing around in her boyfriend's shirt, accepting a call and blithely answers, 'Oh, I was just thinking about you'.

Worth every second of the read.

Pick of the Week

KOTOR II Retold
N-Android

Pre TSL: A paid of Jedi prepare to go on their adventure.

Should be console instead of council Also 'you're (You are) rather than your (Possessive). Also through (past) rather than threw (hurled) and deleted rather than deleated. Also off instead of speaking of signs of life. Also the body lay, not lied, and the woman was calm (relaxed) not clam (Shellfish).

Didn't have a chance to read beyond chapter 1, but that was enough to know it is quality work.

Pick of the Week

The Leviathan
CortessaBlatt

It's thrashed instead of trashed.

The scene is well laid out, the Sith merely continuing the torment because they were ordered to.

Darkness
Setre

No specific era given: What you must do as a Sith.

The piece is cold and hard. If you have read the Extended Universe, you will remember Iron Fist, where Republic warriors pretending to be mercenaries are given the choice to kill a captured agent. The difference is that there is no timer pretending the man is alive; it is three children killed because 'they will come back to attack when they get older'.

Mirrored Paths
Jakia

TSL on Peragus: The twin Jedi go their opposite ways to carry out the same mission.

The piece is well laid out, the separate Jedi complementing each other .

The Night She Left
Trillian4210

Post KOTOR: Neither spoke of it... Until it was too late

The piece is excellent!. You have two point of views (You need to work in a break there, kid) with Revan breaking down because of her own ghosts, followed by Carth exploding when he discovers her gone. You want to bitch-slap both of them because they aren't thinking about the partner.

Pick of the Week


'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
Acceptance
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile
machievelli is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 01-25-2011, 11:53 AM   #1179
machievelli
Local curmudgeon
 
machievelli's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Las Vegas Nevada
Posts: 2,820
Current Game: Dungeonseige series
Hot Topic Starter Veteran Fan Fic Author Helpful! Forum Veteran 
If there is anyone even remotely interested, I finally found provenance that Revan was a man, so I have rewritten my KOTOR novel.

Now have to go to my TSL and make the changes there.

Grumble


'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
Acceptance
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile
machievelli is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 01-29-2011, 01:36 AM   #1180
machievelli
Local curmudgeon
 
machievelli's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Las Vegas Nevada
Posts: 2,820
Current Game: Dungeonseige series
Hot Topic Starter Veteran Fan Fic Author Helpful! Forum Veteran 
Fanfiction.net

Juhani Cant Fly
CortessaBlatt

Sometime during the aftermath of KOTOR: A confused look at an emergency

The piece is irreverent, and amusing in turns. Two different crew members suggesting spaying Juhani made it even more confusing.

Dark Lord Tea Party
CortessaBlatt

Not linked as such to KOTOR: When you're the heavy, sometimes you have to hang with the same type of people.

The villains are nothing if not amusing. Sauron running around in an apron, Voldemort complaining that the opponent that had bested him was almost 2.

Early Morning Rendezvous
CortessaBlatt

Post KOTOR on Manaan: A secret assignation.

The piece was supposed to be a fluff piece, but turned out way too serious. The angst was well done, and Jolee looking for a bowl of popcorn was just icing on the cake.

Pick of the Week

An Unwelcome Recollection
Crazyocelot

Post KOTOR on Coruscant: Revan talks with Jolee about their first meeting on Kashyyk

The piece carries an intersting view because people tend to forget Jolee must have seen them on Kashyyk when they came through the first time. His characterization of Malak being not only weak but probably a coward was I feel a bit harsh.

The Darth Malak Redemption
Malak Gam

Several centuries Post KOTOR: The son of a cloned Darth Malak is raised among the Jedi
Remember conversation breaks. It's Echani, not echini. If this is supposed to be the Yoda from the series you're not talking a few centuries, you're speaking over three millennia

Touching Humanity
CortessaBlatt

Post KOTOR: Carth won't take no for an answer

The piece is smooth and at the same time ragged. The idea that they would have littered the plains of Dantooine with statues of Bastila among others. Having Carth almost drag Revan into his room to have his way with her.

kotorfanmedia

Toys
Elena

Post TSL: Revan would have decided to pick such a boring place to hide.

The piece is cute in that the Exile is so ticked off, it's surprising she wasn't alone when she arrived.

Fragments of Rebellion
Katara Ironarm

KOTOR on the unknown planet: Bastila plots regaining her love

The piece is well done, if a bit fragmented.


He Watches
Falnangl9124

KOTOR en route to Korriban: Carth has to take...matters in hand.

The piece is fun because being my age, I remember many times where I have refused to flirt with a woman because of the age difference. Like Carth here, I have been blindsided by those younger women.

Pick of the Week

Visions
Noneko

KOTOR on the unknown planet: Bastila gives Revan visions of what can be

The piece is excellent, Revan seeing all the things he could do if he returned to leadership of the Sith. It is sort of what you might from the bible story where Jesus is offered the world.

Nothing left to lose
AWilson

KOTOR aboard Leviathan: Carth discovers he still has things to lose.

The confrontation between Carth and Karath is little seen in these pages, yet this is a well wrought piece because even as he is dying, Karath can't resist getting in a few more digs, The idea that he told Malak that there was a Jedi Academy on Telos is funny considering where Atris chose to set up hers.

Falsities
Elena

A series of vignettes: Maybe Elena meant plot gizka

It's an interesting ensemble; Juhani as a bounty hunter working for Kang, Mira as Canderous' daughter, Bao-Dur in charge of Endar Spire instead of Carth Onasi among others.


'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
Acceptance
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile
machievelli is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 02-13-2011, 08:27 PM   #1181
machievelli
Local curmudgeon
 
machievelli's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Las Vegas Nevada
Posts: 2,820
Current Game: Dungeonseige series
Hot Topic Starter Veteran Fan Fic Author Helpful! Forum Veteran 
After three months of job hunting I need a break. Will post my next review in a week


'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
Acceptance
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile
machievelli is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 02-19-2011, 11:27 AM   #1182
machievelli
Local curmudgeon
 
machievelli's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Las Vegas Nevada
Posts: 2,820
Current Game: Dungeonseige series
Hot Topic Starter Veteran Fan Fic Author Helpful! Forum Veteran 
I took a week off because I have been worrying that I would be on the street in a week, and have sold off a lot of my library of books and DVDs just assure I would still have an apartment next month. But I was able to cobble enough finances together to keep my home, and as of Monday, I;m working again, so a big load came off my shoulders.

In return for your kind forebearance I extended the normal article from twelve to 16 entries this week.

Coruscant Entertainment Center

Dreading the Indifference
Revan Sama

KOTOR pre Star Forge: Revan contemplates facing the woman he loves, whether to redeem or kill...

Should be defeat instead of defeated,thought instead of though.

Revan Sama turns out first class work, and this is no exception.

Palpy
Darth Vada

Post Battle of Endor: A clone of the Emperor decides to get tough

The piece is confusing and a bit irreverent. Having lived as long as I have, and seeing some of the whack-jobs that had been leaders of governments, it was a nostalgic look into the past for me

Fanfiction.net

Confrontation
Akemi Haruka

KOTOR On the unnamed planet: Bastila considers her relationship with Revan as their confrontation approaches.

Well written, all of Bastila's emotions are there in view.

Pick of the week

Korriban
L Long

KOTOR en route to Korriban: As Malak begins tormenting Bastila, Revan arrives on Korriban

The piece flowed very well, moving from Bastila's predicament to Revan's considering the situation.

Guilt
Daemonetta19

Ebon Hawk no specific time given: Anger leads to a conflict, then to intimacies.

The piece was well done, it might be a first work, but it is good as it sits.

Glitter and Glass
CortessaBlatt

Post KOTOR on Coruscant: A rainy evening brings up old memories

The piece is called crappy by the author, but I do not agree. Everyone needs downtime, and creating a slice of placid life fits the bill.

Impure Pazaak
Woman of Rohan

TSL aboard Ebon Hawk: The Exile play by Nar Shaddaa rules, and get more than they bargained for.

The piece is light and amusing, with each player first ascendant, then in despair. The denouement, everything off and scattered, and the reaction of the crew to such things was too choice for words.

Pick of the Week

Untitled
Amme Moto

Post KOTOR: Carth Canderous and Revan settle down, but not as you might think...

The piece flows well, Revan and Canderous as parents was so much fun, and the twins a riot.

Stupid Mical
FeeldaForce

TSL en route to Nar Shaddaa: A stolen kiss.

The piece as the name implies concentrates on how Mical's primary enemy, Atton feels about him. The kiss at least changes Atton's tune, afterward, he's happy the other was there, since his presence caused Atton to at least try.

A Gift for the Future
Amber Penglass

Post KOTOR: A present is passed not to a loved one, but to a generation several millennia parted

The piece is interesting in that the gift goes not to an unborn child but to the descendant.

kotorfanmedia

Light Side Female Exile

Fitchers Apprentice
songofamazon

Pre KOTOR but no dates specified: Even a remote can be a hero

remember conversation breaks, remember to do a sight to remember all of the words such as 'an old man'

The piece flows, but there are unexpected ripples, such as forgotten words mentioned above. Having a remote as one of the heroes was a fresh twist.

Dark Side Female Revan

The Depths of Ibea part 1
songofamazon

Pre KOTOR: A dog in the manger story

I don't know how many of you understand there term so I'll explain. A manger is a holder for food for an herbivore like a horse sheep or cow; in other words, filled with something a dog would not eat. If a dog were to block their path, or climb into it, the herbivore cannot eat, if the dog weren't in the way. So it means doing something to stop someone else, even if it is something you cannot use.

The Jedi seem confused here, even the one who was sent in incognito. However his actions to remove the targeted property was masterful

Other KOTOR characters

Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic: The Endar Spire
Revan Jast

Beginning of KOTOR: The hero fights across the ship

Pretty much a generic retelling of the start of the game. Nothing added.

She Listens
Falangel9124

KOTOR after Leviathan: Old ghosts are put to rest

A pretty much generic make up scene between Revan and Carth. The piece is good because the main characters still feel the pain.

History Part 1: Taris
NaTsu4417

KOTOR on Taris: The main character extends

A generic retelling of the start of the game

The piece is a generic retelling of the Taris module of KOTOR without extras

Moments 1
WinterOnasi

KOTOR from Taris to Manaan: A drawn out story

The piece went through four locations without slowing. I had problems following primarily because the author covered too much in this posting.

How Vrook Stole Christmas
General Grievous

KOTOR runs head on into Christmas: Who will win?

A rather silly attempt at a Dr. Seuss knockoff. Due to the terms used, it doesn't rhyme very well because of that. But the picture of Vrook as Santa Claus and Zaz Kei El taking the roll of Max the dog caused me to chuckle.

School Days
Crystal001

Alternate universe Pre KOTOR: A number of the members of the first crew as kids in elementary school

The piece is a bit silly really; Canderous (In his late 50s) going to the same school with the others. Few characters were really fleshed out. You know that Carth is the studious type, Canderous is a fighter, and not a whole lot more.


'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
Acceptance
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile
machievelli is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 02-27-2011, 12:52 PM   #1183
machievelli
Local curmudgeon
 
machievelli's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Las Vegas Nevada
Posts: 2,820
Current Game: Dungeonseige series
Hot Topic Starter Veteran Fan Fic Author Helpful! Forum Veteran 
Coruscant Entertainment Center

reflections
Chevron 7 Locke

TSL Aboard the Ebon Hawk: The Exile sees a might have been slaughter when she meditates

Like a lot of this author's work, the style is crisp and clean. Discovering at the end that she was meditating did explain a lot. Keep writing, kid.

kotorfanmedia

Light side Female Revan

The road to rediscovery
Songofamazon

Post KOTOR: The Jedi of the crew return to the temple on Coruscant

The piece is a bit dry but the situation gives us depth into the Jedi trials.

Under the Shadow of the Builders – Prologue
Songofamazon

KOTOR at Taris: The survivors of the Endar Spire regroup.

The piece starts at an odd point, the actual launch of the escape pod with our heroes. Some of the injuries that had been suffered, requiring the heroine to wake up from her injuries. There was not a lot more, but what I read was good.

Other KOTOR characters

A day in the life
Katara Ironarm

KOTOR en route to Manaan: Revan takes one fateful step

The piece is a bit fluffy, with Revan finally taking Carth to her bed. The part leading up to that act was fun because it's Revan trying to decide.

Revan;s Final Battle
Crystal001

Post KOTOR: Revan fights for Carth's life one last time.

The piece was well written, the fight a joy to read. The way the Sith died was funny; having him die while being Force tickled just too cute for words.

Pick of the Week

The Gizka Problem, Revisited
Crystal001

KOTOR en route to Manaan: Well it's one way to deal with the Gizka...

The piece is a lot of fun with Carth acting like a petulant child, Bastila dropping information ahead of time, and a barbequed mess of Gizka. What struck me as I read it was the comment by Kermit the Frog in the first Muppet movie; all those poor frogs on crutches...

Pick of the Week

Traitors in the Theater
Darkling Angel

Post KOTOR: Enemies meet in a theater.

The piece is delightfully skewed, with Bastila and Carth as the villains. The last scene, with Dustil lambasting his father for turning to the dark was choice.

Fanfiction.net

Where Is My Mind
Cantbel

Post KOTOR: Revan slides off the edge of sanity

The piece, as the author said, is not nice. It is cold, stark and unrelieved

Pick of the Week

Haunted
RowenaR

Post TSL on Citadel Station: The Exile explains to Atton why she has to leave

The piece is angst riddled, and I am happy the author commented on being a non English speaker. It kept me from lambasting her.

I for one wonder if the masters had been theorizing rather than speaking from knowledge when they describe the 'wound' they claim was there.

Not Always What it Seems
Prometheus71

Post TSL: Revan considers her last few years.

The piece was confusing. I wasn't sure if this was a reunion when Carth and Revan got together, or if the Manda'lor was there to kill him depending on which name he called her by.

Beyond the Rim
StatlerWaldorf

Post KOTOR: Revan is having visions calling her to the unknown

The piece is too short to get a good feel for it. A pity I don't have time to read further

Backwater Planet
CortessaBlatt

KOTOR no specific time given: The crew deals with the aftermath of a crash.

The piece was well done with a frantic feel to it. The acrimony between Jolee and Canderous as the Jedi worked on healing him was perfect

Pick of the Week

Prophet Thing of Evil
Yimmy-Kins

KOTOR on the Star Forge: Revan tries to protect Bastila as Malak attacks them both

The piece was excellent, with a lot of the back story explained and the attack on Bastila's mind perfect. I only had time to read the first section, and I wish I could have read it all.

Pick of the Week


'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
Acceptance
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile
machievelli is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 03-06-2011, 09:39 PM   #1184
machievelli
Local curmudgeon
 
machievelli's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Las Vegas Nevada
Posts: 2,820
Current Game: Dungeonseige series
Hot Topic Starter Veteran Fan Fic Author Helpful! Forum Veteran 
Coruscant Entertainment Center

Just Keep Running
Chevron 7 Locke

Five years after TSL: The last survivors of the Ebon Hawk's crew face a surprising opponent

As always, you turn out good work. The enemy was surprising, and knowing that of them all only the Exile has survived the attacks makes it more interesting.

Pick of the Week

The Arrival of a Hero
Mandalore The Shadow

During attack on Hoth from TESB: The attack from the Empire's side.

The piece is too short to get a good feel for the writing style. What is done is crisp and well done.

Fanfiction.net

Coruscant
CortessaBlatt

Post KOTOR: When is it enough?

Carth and Revan getting together, and the question is not moot; How long must he grieve before it is possible?

The piece flows well and the question remains; how long must he mourn?

A Flight of Stairs
CortessaBlatt

TSL on Citadel Station: How long can you grieve?

The piece flowed well, and the situation well portrayed.

The Passions of a Sith Lord
CortessaBlatt

AU Post KOTOR: The dark lord reminisces

The piece is well written, and the one plaint the author made is accepted, after all, Carth is a wuss here. Have you tried diet tea instead?

A Game of Chance
CortessaBlatt

During TSL with no specific time given: The Exile foolishly plays Pazaak with Atton.

The piece is funny from start to finish. Another game of Pazaak with Nar Shaddaa rules, and a twist that makes it even more funny at the end.

Pick of the Week

Dustil's Mission
CortessaBlatt

Post KOTOR no specific time given: Kids will be kids

The piece merely shows how little Dustil and Mission know about how to insult each other. Like most kids argument, it begins for a silly reason and doesn't improve much.

A Gift to Her Love
Bald as Malak

TSL no specific time given: The Exile lays a trap to catch Mical and Atton

The piece is cute with a well laid trap requiring both of the men to be present for it to work. Her reasoning is obvious; to get some breathing room with two different men pursuing her. The end was just too cute.

Pick of the Week

kotorfanmedia

kotorfanmedia has juggled everything again, so...

Light Side Female Revan

After the Storm
NikkiD

KOTOR En-route to Korriban: Dealing with the revelation of her identity, she also has to deal with the burgeoning relationship with Carth.

The piece is cute and fluffy, and includes a Gizka.

Descent's Stop
LordRevan

KOTOR on Lehon: Revan faces off against Bastila

The piece is well wrought and runs as you would anticipate. The confrontation was well done, and the internal monologue flowed well.

For Identity
Marin Dakari

Originally reviewed June 9 2006 That review is below:

During KOTOR: After the confrontation with Jagi, Revan struggles again with her identity

The style is excellent, the subject matter near and dear to my heart. How do you deal with discovering everything you remember is a lie?

Reprise Pick of the Week

Happy R
Rose07

Post KOTOR: Well they had to name it something...

The piece flows well, and the idea that Carth created a special day to celebrate his love of the woman is choice.

Destiny (Chapter One: Escape
Revans Pet Duck

Originally reviewed 30 June 06 That review is below:

The events on the Endar Spire in KOTOR I

This flowed well, and I wish I honestly had time to read everything RPD had written. There are changes from the original script, but none that are glaringly improper.

Reprise Pick of the Week

Carth's worst fear
sithangel 77

Originally reviewed 30 June 06 That review is below:

The view of a suicide’s mind as Revan give in to her sadness.

I have to agree with the ones who said this is a logical progression. Over at Lucasforums where I am a critic (You think I do comments in this manner all the time? Well, since October, yes...) if you read my entire KOTOR novel, I have my Revan going through all of the angst too. She even decides on suicide. In fact the only reason she survives is Sasha, who I made a continuing character.

There is commentary about using the word slice over and over, and while it is noted, the Author’s comment that it is her own mind cutting herself again and again is perfectly acceptable to me.

Great work.

Reprise Pick of the Week


'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
Acceptance
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile
machievelli is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 03-13-2011, 10:53 PM   #1185
machievelli
Local curmudgeon
 
machievelli's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Las Vegas Nevada
Posts: 2,820
Current Game: Dungeonseige series
Hot Topic Starter Veteran Fan Fic Author Helpful! Forum Veteran 
Coruscant Entertainment Center

Star War Knight of the old republic : Lost colors
Revan Sama

Pre KOTOR: A student and his master

The piece flows very well, the interplay limited primarily to the narrative. I agree, keep it up.

A Long Campaign
Mandalore The Shadow

Star War during TESB:The battle of Hoth from the viewpoint of the 501st.

A well drawn narrative, there is no characterization, the main character merely narrating the scene.


kotorfanmedia

Connections
Bluestar705

KOTOR on Taris: Revan and Carth begin to work on how to find Bastila

The piece is primarily generic, with some interesting twists. Carth comes across as doom and gloom with Sam as the eternal optimist.

A Sith's Honor
Briavel

KOTOR on Korriban:Uther deals with Selene

The piece is well written, the characters and scene clear. Making her end an enforced suicide was choice, and the voices of the dead an exquisite choice.

Pick of the Week

The Security of Betrayal
Belladonna

Pre KOTOR: Saul Karath aids in the betrayal of Revan

The piece is interesting because we see Saul also assisting in destroying the flagship. His reasoning is flawless, and his actions assure his position.

Memories
GeneralTacticus

Originally reviewed 31 may 2007. That review is below:

The climactic battle aboard the Star Forge from Malak’s view

The story flows well, going from the fight to the flashbacks through their younger lives that led the two warriors to this point. Sad an poignant.

Reprise Pick of the Week

Malak
Aminta Jae

Pre KOTOR: Malak deals with his existence as a Sith

The piece flowed well, so well in fact that I forgot to notate it previously.

I Am I, Sith Lord Malak
Karacat

A one shot from the Behind the Game series by the same author: Malak gets himself in the mood for his next scene

The piece is light cute and amusing. Using the specific song they used (From Man of La Mancha) made it very fun.

Fanfiction.net

The Greatest Gift of All
Crazyocelott

Post KOTOR: Bastila delivers a gift to a still pensive Revan

The piece is short, but the reactions of Revan to the news makes up for the brevity.

Pick of the Week

Strange Alliances
Darkmanmod

Pre KOTOR: Revan hides her powers in an odd place

The piece is interesting in that even while Revan is being captured, she is finding a repository for hercapabilities, and transferring them as the Jedi capture her. I do wonder what change Steve makes in his world, but had no time to read further.

Which Wookiee
Mr. Crusty

KOTOR on Kashyyk: A case of mistaken identity

The piece is amusing because the pair sent to retrieve Zaalbar can't recognize him. It was a funny read.

Pick of the Week

Star Wars KOTOR Unnecessary Evil
RevanTheLight

TSL After Malachor V: Deciding to follow Revan, The Exile admits her feelings to Atton

The piece flowed very well, and I wished I could read past chapter one.

Pick of the Week

The Hunter of Destiny
Fateemperor

15,000 before the Battle of Yavin: An Assassin stalks the Jedi

The piece is set far enough back almost to impinge on my own work of 25,000 years earlier. As to why he is hunting them, we have yet to have a clue

Force Blind
Princess Artemis

KOTOR on Lehon: Darth Revan is back, and in full cry

The piece flows very well, the scenes crisp and clear.


'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
Acceptance
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile
machievelli is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 03-19-2011, 11:09 PM   #1186
machievelli
Local curmudgeon
 
machievelli's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Las Vegas Nevada
Posts: 2,820
Current Game: Dungeonseige series
Hot Topic Starter Veteran Fan Fic Author Helpful! Forum Veteran 
Fanfiction.net

Blind Side
GaggedCenobite

KOTOR on the Star Forge: As they lay dying, Revan and Malak consider the new lord of the Sith

The piece is short and sweet, both characters have their own blind side, and admit it.

Sight
Noneko

Pre TSL: The attack on Katarr seen through Visas' eyes.

The piece is well done, the visions before and after the event surreal.

Pick of the Week

I Say No
CortessaBlatt

TSL aboard Ebon Hawk: Mical and Atton have a... discussion

Wildly confusing, and unfortunately, the author explained what was happening at the end

From the Heart
CortessaBlatt

Post KOTOR: Revan gives up the only thing she has left to Carth

The piece started out light and fluffy, but ended angst filled. Revan wants to lead a normal life, and to do so, gives up her lightsaber and the force.

Well done

Pick of the Week

Its the Thought that Counts
Trillian4210

Post TSL on Coruscant: At the Yuletime ball Mira and Atton finally express their feelings.

The piece was well written, the characters believable, and the situation right for the feelings expressed.

Pick of the Week

A Casualty of War
Sith Lord Darth Revan

PreKOTOR: Revan butts heads with the council over more support for the Republic

Numbers appear to be a problem. You have 100,000 Jedi during the War of Exar Kun, and 10,000 serving with Revan, yet both numbers are greater than any listing for the Jedi at any time.

Technical note: Militarily, it does not make sense to take Onderon first; Since it is a settled planet it would naturally have a larger garrison than the moon would have. Also, the citizens would tie down more troops. I think what you should do is read the histories of the Pacific invasions by Halsey and MacArthur. Not even the Philippines campaign (15 separate landings) took less than six months.

kotorfanmedia

Feared
Alexandra

KOTOR on Korriban: Dustil lashes out as others because of his hatred of his father

An excellent beginning. Tormenting the prisoner was more an add on from the look but his casual murder strikes deep into Dustil's anger.

Pick of the Week

Fall Into Place
Plutospawn

KOTOR On Korriban: Dustil plans on his meeting with his father

The piece is interesting in that it appears Revan along with Canderous and Mission succeeded in infiltrating the Academy, and died there.

Change
Noneko

Pre KOTOR: The war from Malak's viewpoint

The piece is masterfully done. As one commenter said, both second person and present tense throughout. You can watch Malak's fall with an almost clinical precision, where what is right is replaced with expediency, where love and compassion turn to hate.

Pick of the Week

Bastilla's Conversion
Joysweeper

KOTOR on the unnamed world: Bastila is tormented by Malak and the visions she is plagued with.

The writing is tight and concise, the emotions, torments, resistance are clearly marked and very well done.

Pick of the Week

Old Wisdom
RogueLadySabyne

After ROTJ: Instead of Ben, Luke channels Jolee

The piece is funny because you get to see both Luke and Jolee interacting with someone from another millennia, and doing a good job of it. Each has their own experiences, but 4,000 years makes no never mind to good advice and willing acceptance. Jolee joking that Ben would chase him through the hereafter was too choice for words.

Pick of the Week

After The Darkness
Auros Sopherai

Post TSL: A new Jedi arrives on Coruscant, with a special reason for her choice.

The piece is outstanding. The unchosen Padawan wondering why she had been chosen until the final line, the pompous diplomat put in his place by a single sentence.

Pick of the Week


'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
Acceptance
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile
machievelli is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 03-26-2011, 11:12 PM   #1187
machievelli
Local curmudgeon
 
machievelli's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Las Vegas Nevada
Posts: 2,820
Current Game: Dungeonseige series
Hot Topic Starter Veteran Fan Fic Author Helpful! Forum Veteran 
Pick of the Week

The Adventures of Jolee Bindo
Jae Onasi

Originally reviewed 10 Nov 2006 over at Lucasforums. That review is below:

In the interim between KOTOR I and II. An Apprentice gets an unlikely master.

Jae had sent this to me, asking me to proofread it and offer corrections. Sadly the copy I sent to her disappeared, and will have to be redone, but i can say it all in one sentence.

You don’t need advice. Just keep writing.

I think it is interesting that this is the first mention that an apprentice can refuse to accept a teacher as master. Though the idea makes sense. Like a lot of the kids I have read in my year of critiquing, I want to go back and read it all.

Reprise Pick of the Week

Juuust right
WinterOnasi

KOTOR on Dantooine: Sasha as Goldilocks.

The author used my favorite secondary character, but in a different way. My Sasha was a lot tougher than this, and needed more coaxing. But considering that Sasha was after all a secondary quest, I'll cut Winter some slack.

Bastila's Creation
WinterOnasi

KOTOR after Korriban: Bastila has to reprogram her charge after the Rakatan box.

The piece is interesting in that Bastila is more of a, eminence Gris here than she was in my own work. Bastila is controlling Revan almost like a puppet, able to reset her mind to a previous time regardless of circumstances.

Unresolved Sexual Tension
Charamel

KOTOR, so specific time given: Revan and Malak share a kiss, but did they?

I read a great deal and not all of what I read is related. The end of this dream sequence reminded me of Shirley MacClain'es 'Out on a limb' where she was being pursued by a gorilla in a dream. Trapped against a cliff, she screamed at it, asking why it pursued her, and the gorilla replied, 'Hey kid! It's your dream!'.


Fanfiction.net

Discovering the Stars
xLintux

Post TSL: The Exile prepares to head out, but not without misgivings of her own and Atton's...

The piece flows very well, the Exile's internal dialogue trying to find a way around leaving virtually alone. Her final confrontation with Atton highlights the problem.

Lies
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2717163/...g_Laigreks_Lie
Let Sleeping Laigreks Lie
Ilea Dreke

TSL on Korriban: After dealing with the cave, the Exile needs some downtime...

The piece flowed very well, Atton so worried about what he has to do to keep the Exile together that he can't think of anything else.

Bad Boys
Rhiannoin87

Pre TSL: Atton at his worst

I was struck by the last line because you have a torturer who has grown blasé about his craft. Torment, taunt, finally kill someone he relalizes only after is innocent.

The Disparity of a Grey Jedi
Rhiannoin87
TSL, no specific part given: The Exile goes her own way

The piece was too short to get a handle on the way the character is thinking. She is compassionate one moment, hard the next, with no rhyme or reason for it.

Lost Love
Clover64

Post TSL: After her loss, the Exile still misses her Mical.

The piece flows well, the grief deep and unrelenting. Her own feelings resonate with Selene the apprentice now bereft of a master.

Pick of the Week

Apathy Is Death
Amme Moto

TSL after Korriban: When does the nightmare end?

The piece has a nightmare feel to it; First the tomb of Ludo Kreesh repeated (As happened in my own version) then having the scene repeat aboard ship. The end was better to my mind because you get to kill the old bat before you get to Malachor V.


'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
Acceptance
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile
machievelli is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 04-02-2011, 10:14 PM   #1188
machievelli
Local curmudgeon
 
machievelli's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Las Vegas Nevada
Posts: 2,820
Current Game: Dungeonseige series
Hot Topic Starter Veteran Fan Fic Author Helpful! Forum Veteran 
Fanfiction.net

Hatred
Rhiannon87

Pre TSL: The Exile wants to hold onto her hate

The piece parallels the two lives, Revan's from being redeemed to the Exile still wandering. I understand the Exile's frustration. She had not fallen, not needed to be redeemed, yet she is still being punished.

Hatred Revisited
Rhiannon87

TSL on Onderon after the revolt: She can't keep hating him, but is not yet willing to forgive.

Kavar and the Exile speak of their shared past, and how Kavar had cast her love aside. The emotions, of betrayal and regret come through, but the dark foreboding; that the council has already decided to strip her of her powers again before she arrives at Dantooine looms.

Loneliest When I'm With You
Rhiannon87

Post TSL: Atton and the Exile cling even as they know it is no use.

The piece is split, Atton picking up women in bars, and the Exile ignoring it. Both are miserable, yet neither is willing to let go.

Pick of the Week

Can't Recall the Name
Rhiannon87

Post TSL: Revan struggles with her memories, especially of the woman that had been her best friend.

The piece has a nice flow to it. Looking into the stream of memories, but the Exile's name is elusive until she meet Revan again at the end.

The Stalker Chronicles
Rhiannon87

Maybe Post TSL: How to deal with the ever present stalkers...

The piece is a riot from start to finish. Kavar having to separate his Valentine's day male by marriage proposals and just 'luv ya-s'. Commenting on the fact that 'only' half of his candy has been spiked with aphrodisiacs. Then frantically chasing the Exile as she absconds with a box of the good stuff; Atton and Kreia getting shot by HK-47. Having Mira sell the lot of the male characters (except for Kavar) to the fan girls was just the icing on a sweet cake.

Pick of the Week

Dance With Accents
Amme Moto

Dantooine post TSL: Carth still searches for the woman he loves. But why didn't he recognize her when she was in his arms?

The piece is nice and fluffy; making Revan a master of disguises was choice, especially when he recognizes that he had been dancing with her minutes previously.

Pick of the Week


kotorfanmedia

Beautiful Darkness
Jedi Serenity

During KOTOR on Ebon Hawk: A quiet evening discussing the past.

The piece has a nice flow to it, Revan considering her companions, then settling down to help Carth over his emotional hump. The end was good because you know more will happen

An Inverse of Stars
DarthPazaak

Originally reviewed 7 April 06 That review is below:

An Alternate ending to KOTOR

An excellent work by this new writer. The problems are the same as I dun into all of you. reread and rewrite. This needs so little revision I hated to actually tell her to do anything with it.

Reprise Pick of the Week

Bastila's Holocron
Joysweeper

KOTOR on Tatooine: Bastila deals with her father's death and her mother's impending loss.

A well done emotional look at Bastila's dealing with her mother. The piece flows well and you can picture both women; one bound for more treatment, the other to complete her mission.

Perils of Swoop Racing: Manaan
Alexandra

KOTOR on Manaan after the Leviathan: Revan needs to relax, and Swoop racing might fit the bill...

I wasn't interested enough in the swoop racing to go beyond Taris, but I can understand and enjoy the metaphor. When you enjoyment of life is at it's least, there has to be something to bring you out of it.

Rejected
Miraea Starr

Post KOTOR: An interesting interview.

The piece is a riot, the character so far away from what you might expect from an interview that you wonder why he thought he might pass.

Not to know
Greengrass1914

Pre KOTOR on Nar Shaddaa: Carth looks desperately for his son.

The piece is poignant in that the Twi-Lek begins thinking of him as a mark, but by the end pities him The flashbacks drive the story like a searing whip.

Pick of the Week


'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
Acceptance
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile
machievelli is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 04-11-2011, 10:26 AM   #1189
machievelli
Local curmudgeon
 
machievelli's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Las Vegas Nevada
Posts: 2,820
Current Game: Dungeonseige series
Hot Topic Starter Veteran Fan Fic Author Helpful! Forum Veteran 
Coruscant Entertainment Center

Antihero
Ryan PM

TSL on Dantooine: The situation looks grim.

The piece is a generic retelling of the opening sequence on the planet. Except for Kreia pulling an Obi Wan, little is revealed.

Welcome to the forum.

KOTORNATURAL Teaser: Hyperspace Hurling
JediMaster12

No specific era given: A blind leap takes them to adventure

The piece is like all of JM12's work, tightly written and flowing well. Keep it up.

kotorfanmedia

Made Known
Manjoy

KOTOR Aboard the Ebon Hawk: Sometimes, you just have to tell her...

The piece flowed well, both Carth and Revan following through what you might expect. Her reactions from frustration at his attention to the kiss well portrayed. As another reviewer said, there was some that could be done with it, but don't lose that gentle reaction.

Torn Apart
Crystal001

KOTOR enroute to Manaan: The Bitch is back

The piece flowed, but not as I would have anticipated. The switch from Jast to Revan was too quick and her actions unanticipated.

Maybe Next Time
Dinah Lance

Pre KOTOR: Carth regrets his leave

The piece is good because we get to see Carth before he meets Revan. The byplay between him and the 'honest whore' was up to DL's usual high standards.

Pick of the Week

Love Beyond Words
Mayla

Post KOTOR: Revan makes her decision

The piece flowed well, and the rejection of Carth was well done. Her later words to Bastila fit very well, including her mirth at Bastila's reaction.

Pick of the Week

A better offer
Alexandra

Pre KOTOR: Carth's last meeting withj Saul before Telos is attacked

The flow is smooth but the words used by Saul don't quite jell. Is words are too ambiguous, and I can understand Carth rejecting him. If he had said 'Revan feels we can fix this problem with your help' it would have made more sense. As the heros of the Mandalorian Wars, it would have echoed within Carth as well. Instead we get vague 'The Republic is dying' and what sounded to me like threats against his family as well.

About to Crash
Mayla

KOTOR Alternate Universe on Korriban: It isn't Dustil he confronts

An interesting twist having Morgana the one who survived instead. Having her be the one who reveals who Revan is even more sick and twisted.

I liked it.

Pick of the Week


Fanfiction.net

Meditation Envy
Skeiler Innocenti

TSL aboard Ebon Hawk: Atton feels left out.

The piece is really too short to get a grip on. I felt more was needed, at least an internal explanation of why the Exile refuses to teach him how to meditate, though I can guess why.

The Dying Wish
CortessaBlatt

Post KOTOR: A Dying Sith Lord Revan asks a last boon of Carth

The piece is well wrought, the idea of a Sith thinking in a dynastic way different. Her dying request is not what you think, but excellent.

Pick of the Week

Emotions
MLyn1990

TSL on Nar Shaddaa: Love never flows smooth

A case of two people reacting to the outer reactions without understanding the inner ones. Atton comes across as an automatic flirt, which ticks off the Exile, who makes Atton confused as to why which makes him react to her. Typical love.

Atton to Mercy
CortessaBlatt

Pre TSL: Atton takes down another victim

The piece flowed well, another of CB's excellent works.

Pick of the Week

The Gift
Kendoka Girl

KOTOR aboard Star Forge: Revan contemplates Bastila's final gift to him, and his final gift to her

The piece is excellent, staging the fight between Bastila and Revan, and the bleak prospects that lay ahead.

Pick of the Week

To Revan's Rescue
Crazyocelot

Pre KOTOR: The eventual Exile helps Revan with her latest prank

Like most of the 'Jedi kids' stories, Revan is the eternal prankster. In this one they did a make up job on Vrook that was almost a nightmare to visualize.


'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
Acceptance
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile
machievelli is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 04-11-2011, 01:16 PM   #1190
JediMaster12
Dum Spiramus Tuebimur
 
JediMaster12's Avatar
 
Status: Moderator
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Buried in books...literally
Posts: 5,933
Current Game: Assassin's Creed
LFN Staff Member Veteran Fan Fic Author Contest winner - Fan Fiction Forum Veteran 
Thank you for the review mach. I appreciate your honesty in critiquing my work especially on a piece that was conceived and written in between finishing a paper to submit to a conference and inputting data.

JediMaster12 is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 04-17-2011, 08:09 PM   #1191
machievelli
Local curmudgeon
 
machievelli's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Las Vegas Nevada
Posts: 2,820
Current Game: Dungeonseige series
Hot Topic Starter Veteran Fan Fic Author Helpful! Forum Veteran 
Fanfiction.net

Never Too Late For Redemption
Clover64

TSL on Malachor V: With the Exile gone to the darkness, Mical still prays for her redemption

The piece left you hanging. Will Mical succeed?

In the Medbay
CortessaBlatt

TSL on Nar Shaddaa: When Atton is wounded, it is left to the Exile to treat the wound.

I think it was more the position (Upper inside thigh) than any other reason for the women to refuse to treat it. The scene, with the Exile trying not to look at other exposed parts that makes it funny. Oh, and an assassinator should be merely assassin.

Pick of the Week

Star wars beta squadron
Flaming Burrito

Clone War right before ROTS: A clone unit is caught on the outer rim as the enemy fleet leaps to Coruscant.

The piece is confusing, you kept forgetting conversation breaks. The battle to come sounds like it might be interesting.

The Revan Chronicles I The Outer Rim Wars
Master Alabe

Post KOTOR on Coruscant: Still trying to get over having killed an old friend, Revan finds there is no rest for him.

The piece I was able to read (Chapter one) was a bit abrupt, but there are elements that will make it worth the effort to come back and continue.

A Tale of Two Dark Lords
Rogue Jedi Princess

Crossover: Revan Vs Voldemort?

The piece is far too short to get a good feel, though I did have a few questions. One, is this a Dark Lord Revan or light side? Is the evil she feels From the dark lord or the dementors?

Seja Kimura From Jedi Assassin to Wandering Jedi
SuperSaiyaMan12

Pre KOTOR during Mandalorian Wars: A Jedi looks back on his service to the Republic

The piece flowed well, but having the character be a Jedi Assassin rubbed me the wrong way. A character has to have good and bad qualities, calling him a Jedi does not make 'assassin' palatable to me.

kotorfanmedia

Forgiveness
Jae Onasi

Post Exar Kun War: Jolee has been forgiven by the order, but refuses to forgive himself

The piece like all of Jae's work is a neatly cut gemstone needing only setting. She had done more work than anyone of our friend Jolee and his argument before the council is not only pure Jolee, it is pure Jae as well.

Pick of the Week

Not Yet
Jiara

Pre KOTOR: Jolee's first talk with Revan

The piece give you so much of the back story with so little effort. The same cantankerous Jolee, but a different colder Revan. Jiara has scored yet again.

Pick of the Week

Of love and war
Aminta Jae

Originally post 16 May 2007, that posting is below:

Prelude to the attack on the Endar Spire: Trask and Aminta reminisce.

An interesting take on the Endar Spire and her crew. The dialogue suggests a long association between them, yet we know that can’t be the case. It begs the question; how many people aboard knew who Revan was?

The style is excellent, the scenes crisp.

Reprise Pick of the Week

Best Friends in Love
JediMaster09

Pre KOTOR: It is really love, but don't tell him...

My only problems with the piece were; having to attach a (normal) name to the character, Rick Revan, Mark Malak, etc, and using Valentine's Day.

If you go to Lucasforums where I also post and go to the resource center-> Expert Forum->post 118, you will find a dissertation on holidays not to use. St Valentine's day (Before it was linked to juvenile hormones) was to celebrate a martyr killed by tying him to a post and letting passers by take pot shots at him with bows. But it is linked to Earth History.

That said the piece was fun and the end perfect.

Pick of the Week

The Jedi Not to be
Exar Kun

During or just after KOTOR, no specifics given: An attack against the Jedi Council begins

The piece is interesting in that it goes from a little quiet sparring to full blown attack with almost no pause. I would have liked to see more.

Pebcak
Briavel

KOTOR facing Leviathan: What if the characters had a say?

For those who don't know it and the author explained at the end; the term PEBCAK is tech support slang for Problem Exists Between Chair and Keyboard. In other words, operator error. Having one of the characters suggest a way to totally avoid the torture scene is choice.

Pick of the Week


'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
Acceptance
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile
machievelli is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 04-23-2011, 10:35 AM   #1192
machievelli
Local curmudgeon
 
machievelli's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Las Vegas Nevada
Posts: 2,820
Current Game: Dungeonseige series
Hot Topic Starter Veteran Fan Fic Author Helpful! Forum Veteran 
Coruscant Entertainment Center

Code geass lost colors: Love time reversed
Revan sama

Non SW: A wish to change time brings more the wisher bargained for.

Revan Sama may be a rookie but the fiction is improving slowly but surely.

Ten Minutes
Jalana

KOTOR aboard Star Forge: So much can happen in ten minutes.

The piece is stark and cold. You witness her own pain as Juhani records this. Her own denial of what is happening, recording even as she wants it not to be true.

Pick of the Week

The Promise
Crystal001

KOTOR on Dantooine: Juhani has time to consider everything she has done wrong.

The piece is sad; I succeeded in defeating then saving Juhani, but I know that just because I did doesn't mean it could have not gone the other way. I for one liked a view of might have been

Pick of the Week

Hidden Strength
Briavel

KOTOR post Tatooine: Even Griff finds he has hidden strength.

Briavel created a moving end to someone's life here. When he could lie, tell Karath anything and everything, he cannot bring himself to place his sister in the same place.

Pick of the Week

Duty
Awilson

KOTOR aboard the Star Forge: Revan has failed Bastila, will she fail herself as well?

The piece is sad because you have Revan falling a second time and being redeemed, but Bastila is unwilling to accept that she can be redeemed. The end is poignant and terribly sad.

Pick of the Week

Bull Run
Johnny

KOTOR Characters at the battle of Bull Run: Our favorites on either side

The piece is short and not too descriptive, though the first battle of Manassas (Remember, first rule of history; the winner names the battle. Only the Union called either of the two battles fought there Bull Run) was also the first time long ranged rifle fire was used against massed formations right out of the Napoleonic Wars.

The author forgot two comments when the book excerpt was posted. The most common phrase used regarding the men that came home from the War between the states was that they had 'seen the elephant'. Like WWI and WWII, this war also spawned it's own genre if you will. The two decades following the War between the states is when most of the 'Wild West' occurred. The decade following WWI lead to the rise of organized crime, and the decade following WWII lead to the rise of 'bike clubs' starting with the Hells Angels in 1948.

Replay
Noneko

Pre KOTOR: Trask Ulgo says his goodbyes before his final mission.

As another reviewer said, it's bittersweet. We, the audience, know he will not return, even though he blithely assumes he will.

Pick of the Week


Fanfiction.net

Droid Troubles
CortessaBlatt

TSL aboard the Ebon Hawk: Bao-Dur has to deal with HK47 for the first time.

The piece is lightly amusing and satirical, HK is his normal homicidal self, Bao-Dur unsure how to deal with that aspect. Manda'lor reacting as you would expect him to when he sees HK, and T3 giggling like a kid in the corner/

Pick of the Week

An Overwhelming Love
Clover64

KOTOR after the Star Forge: How do you deal with having to say goodbye?

The piece is smooth as silk in the first chapter. Bot Carth and Hayley (Revan) are afraid the other doesn't wish to be together, yet are also afraid of asking. Her hiding under her bed like a child, and Mission, another child being able to find her though neither Carth nor Jolee could, is fun.

Pick of the Week

Silence in a Time of Victory
elenathehun

At the End of the Mandalorian War: They won, but at what cost?

The piece is stark and cold. I am reminded of a song by an Australian called Waltzing Maltilda when he mentions the civilian reaction to the wounded coming back from the battle of Gallipoli.

Pick of the Week

To Die With Honor
Arkatrine

TSL on Dxun: The last thoughts of Davrel

The piece focuses not on honor, but on one obsessed with it. Davrel is one of the parts of the game I changed when I worte my novelization; I hated the way he obsessed on fighting her just because he was a rookie who got beaten. I at least, like this author, made his death worth something.

Carth Weather
CortessaBlatt

Post KOTOR on Manaan: It's a snowy day, and Revan has just the way to warm up.

The piece is light and fluffy, Revan only standing in the cold because she knows Carth will warm her up soon.

Pick of the Week

More Than Useless
DWH

No specific era given: Two Jedi go to stop a war and do so, but at cost

Dwh has given us a story that shows the futility of why people fight. The main character of the story is only doing it to impress someone else, and his death is suitably meaningless. His friend is left with the survivor's guilt every soldier know; that maybe it should be him in the grave.


'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
Acceptance
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile
machievelli is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 04-30-2011, 10:01 PM   #1193
machievelli
Local curmudgeon
 
machievelli's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Las Vegas Nevada
Posts: 2,820
Current Game: Dungeonseige series
Hot Topic Starter Veteran Fan Fic Author Helpful! Forum Veteran 
Coruscant Entertainment Center

Shreds of a Dying Belief
Bee Hoon

Post TSL: Revan and the Exile get together for the first time since the war

I am sorry I missed this one earlier. But I have finally read it and both Bee Hoon and Saberetooth are doing their typically good work here.

Pick of the Week

Star wars kotor Cinderella (warning:not serious)
Revan sama

Post TSL: When the author says it's not serious, it's no joke.

Revan Sama has done it again. HK and Canderous in drag and in one case bad drag at that; reminding me of the movie Hair Spray. The main character going to the ball armed for combat, a droid french kiss. It was all just too much.

Pick of the Week

Donkey skin KOTOR version
Revan sama

Sort of TSL: Another totally fractured fairy tale.

Revan Sama has a lot of fun with fairy tales, weaving them into KOTOR and TSL like a demented weaver.

This piece is rollicking good humor, Kreia as a bumbling fairy godmother, The Exile as a daughter looking forward to marrying her father, HK as the beautiful (?) queen, and Atton with Mira sharing the donkey.

Fanfiction.net

Dark Legacy
Myst Dragon

Post ANH: While the Alliance is still fighting, there are still Jedi in hiding. One of them leaves her home to join the struggle

I didn't have enough time to read past the first chapter, but what I saw looked good. The characters are well written. The characters clearly defined.

Data Packets of Love
Kendoka Girl

TSL no specific period given: Was it really a dream?

The piece was funny in an oddball way. The Exile witnessing a love triangle between T3 HK and GOTO. When she wakes up she thinks it's all a dream, but later actions make you wonder...

His
SydneyVaughn01

From Pre-Mandalorian wars to Post TSL: Revan pursues what he wanted, and finally gets it

The piece is too short to really get a feel for style, but the romance flows to it's logical end as the two are finally reunited.

The Final Step
SydneyVaughn01

Pre KOTOR: Revan takes the final step to the dark side, but regrets her loss

Again too short to get a feel for it. The first halting line is Jedi code, but becomes the Sith code easily, and while her followers are pleased, she is not afterwards.

The Language of the Stars
ElenaTheHun

TSL when Visas is sent to find the Exile: Nihilus as he should be

The piece focused on only one thing and worked superbly. As the author commented Nihilus is perhaps the suckiest of the villains of the piece, and this shows him when you would still be fearful of his might.

The Miraluka and the Mask
CortessaBlatt

TSL en route to Dantooine: What lays below the Miraluka's mask?

The piece focuses on that one thing. Despite warnings, he has to know and he finally beats her refusal down. The end is anticlimactic, as I for one did not see the horror the author is describing. It ends with you wondering if the relationship will continue.

kotorfanmedia

A good muse is hard to find
Alexandra

Out in the real world: When a writer gets writer's block, and her muse is nowhere to be found, she falls back on the three back up muses with surprising results.

Having dealt with recalcitrant muses, I got well into the story. When I wrote 'Family of Choice' I had a tightly written scene where the Mandalorans are pulling off a retreat under fire (Think of Hoth in the Empire Strikes Back). People thought Leia had become a wuss because she is assigned to be the load master for the evacuation, but knowing history, I know it is something you assign to the one person who will focus on the job, because as Dunkirk proved, this is also the one person that will be closing the doors of the last ship while still on the ground.

Zakal (My favorite character in the story) was to be my Leia. She would end up captured or killed as the other Mandalorans ride off into the sunset. Yet as the first shuttle is loading to take off, the main character, a nine year old girl Merissa jumps off the shuttle running back to save Zakal.

As I am screaming “WTF!” they arrive. Zakal (Just saved from capture) Berek the man that admired her and assisted, and Merissa. The conversation (Aloud mind you, thank all the gods I was home when it happened) went like this:

Merissa: “You're a meanie! You were going to let those core slime catch or kill her!”

Me: “Now wait a minute-”

Berek: And you give me a love interest about to get the chop. Not very fair.”
Zakal: “Now I know why I was chosen, so you two have no reason to complain.”
Merissa (Stamping her foot): I don't care; he's still a big meanie! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!”
Me: “In real life the people assigned to be the load master end up captured or killed.”

Merissa: “I. Don't. Care! Fix it.”

Zakal (With a let's get to it air): “Well we'll have to do a rewrite of the last seven pages to return to where your plot led. Why not let me survive and you can kill me off later in the story.”

So that is what happened. Zakal survived, and Merissa, now a woman in her fifties exacts her revenge on the man who later had her murdered. Everyone was happy. But plot bunnies, gizka, and recalcitrant characters is something we have to live with.

Pick of the Week
Musings
Jiara

No specific game/ period given: The character wonders what would have happened if they had not met.

The piece is interesting in that nothing is done to tell you who is thinking this; pick your characters and they fit in smoothly.

I Once Had A Girl
Darby OGM

KOTOR aboard Ebon Hawk: A guys night out as the guys reminisce about women they have known.

Having gone through nights like this, I thoroughly enjoyed the story, especially the line about what happened with Ki:

'Ki?' Canderous queried. 'Oh, she caught me cheating on her with her twin sister. Shot me right in the head. Killed me dead. Big mess and all too.'

Pick of the Week

Bastila's Hand
Joysweeper

KOTOR on the Unknown planet: Bastila tries to use the secret hole card she had, but it didn't work quite that well

Other authors have tried the 'brainwashed Revan' but this came close to be totally acceptable. The fact that Revan is still resisting comes as a surprise to her as well as the reader. The last two paragraphs suggest more is coming though.

Pick of the Week

Inhibitions
Jedi Serenity

KOTOR enroute to Tatooine: A drunken Revan contemplates her feelings

The piece was fun because it reminded me of Rachel Weiss in the Mummy. At least this couple consummated that first kiss.

Pick of the Week

A night in Manaan
Darby OGM

KOTOR on Manaan: A girl's night out to rival the previous work by the same author

The piece like it's predecessor was too choice. The main women on the story all sitting getting quietly blitzed with whomever makes the negative comment having to buy the next round. Having them try the same thing on Canderous was merely icing on a very fun cake.

Pick of the Week


'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
Acceptance
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile
machievelli is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 05-07-2011, 09:35 AM   #1194
machievelli
Local curmudgeon
 
machievelli's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Las Vegas Nevada
Posts: 2,820
Current Game: Dungeonseige series
Hot Topic Starter Veteran Fan Fic Author Helpful! Forum Veteran 
Coruscant Entertainment Center

Betrayal and Redemption
Stingerhs

Just before Attack of the Clones: Strikes against Separatist mines on one planet lead to violence

Another one that slipped through the cracks; Stingerhs does quality work, and this is no exception. The lines are clearly marked, and you belong on one side or the other, just like any strike.

The Great War
Primogen

Non SW fiction: New pilots join veterans in the struggle

The scenes are clear and crisp, the characters clearly defined. Using Egyptian gods for the ship classes is interesting.

lighter shades of grey
Kado Sunrider

Post TSL in an alternate universe: Another of the crew gets married

The story starts off slow, nightmares, preparing for the wedding, Jolee commenting that Revan and Bastila spent part of the night hovering off the deck, and Canderous' comment makes it more amusing

A Day in the Life; Near misses
JediMaster12

Sw no specific era given: Just another day in some soldiers' lives

It's rampant (Amok) not rampart (Wall), lobbed (threw) not lobbied (Political maneuvering)

The scenes flow well, but it is JM12 after all, and I know her work. The two main characters are total opposites, and the change of view refreshing.


kotorfanmedia

The Path of my Heart
Jedi Knight Revan

Pre KOTOR: Chloe Star decides to accept the Republic's 'invitation' to go aboard the Endar Spire

For a first work, this isn't too shabby, except for a technical point. A police officer would be talking about dropping charges or mitigating the sentence, not of foregoing punishment.

Whispers from the Past
Darby OGM

23 years pre TSL: Canderous remembers a young warrior going on her first mission.

The piece flows well; the information that Piper is female is slipped in at just the right time to make Canderous confused.

Pick of the Week

Beyond the Rim
Darth Xia Jade

Post KOTOR: Revan has nightmares linked to the True Sith

Remember conversation breaks; it can be confusing keeping track of who is speaking otherwise.

Once a Jedi
Wyvern

Several years pre KOTOR: The parents of Revan bring her to the Jedi

The plot twist that was most interesting was thet Revan was Jolee's daughter. We have all the characters, Revan, Jolee and Kreia to play with and I for one hope there is more.

Fanfiction.net

Knights of Redemption
Soser

KOTOR at Taris: Our heroes escape at the last minute as always

The piece flowed very well, I am surprised that the author said it was a first attempt, not too shabby.

The Wolf and Sheep in Me
Cap'n Dragera

Pre KOTOR: Apprentice versus Master in the Sith way

The piece covers a portion of Revan's life most do not try to look at; Revan as she falls, and how Malak loses his jaw. The piece was cold and stark, and very well done.

Pick of the Week

Look at the Dawn
MustardGal

Pre KOTOR: The Day Telos was bombed

The author is good at exploring the chaos of the bombardment. Having Jordo do more than see Dustil later was a good twist.

What Love is to Me
CortessaBlatt

Pre TSL: Jaq kills his last Jedi, and loses himself

The piece is pure CB from the constant self denigration, to well portrayed characters.

Pick of the Week


'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
Acceptance
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile
machievelli is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 05-09-2011, 10:45 AM   #1195
JediMaster12
Dum Spiramus Tuebimur
 
JediMaster12's Avatar
 
Status: Moderator
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Buried in books...literally
Posts: 5,933
Current Game: Assassin's Creed
LFN Staff Member Veteran Fan Fic Author Contest winner - Fan Fiction Forum Veteran 
Thanks for the review mach but I also owe the parts written about Alriana, the Jedi to Chevron locke 67. It was a collaboration and it wouldn't have worked if he hadn't wrote the character that he developed.

JediMaster12 is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 05-14-2011, 11:44 PM   #1196
machievelli
Local curmudgeon
 
machievelli's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Las Vegas Nevada
Posts: 2,820
Current Game: Dungeonseige series
Hot Topic Starter Veteran Fan Fic Author Helpful! Forum Veteran 
Fanfiction.net

Me from Paragus
CortessaBlatt

Pre TSL: The last few minutes of the technician's life.

The only negative I have to mention is the tech states he's not the average Telosian 'Broad', suggesting being a woman when the character is male in the game.

The piece has that nice 'at the brink' feeling, and the last moments, seeing HK watching and picturing laughter was well done.

The Entire Planet
VanillaLatte

KOTOR orbiting Taris: Saul Karath contemplates the orders he is about to give

The piece is introspective and in a way good for Karath at least in a way. He had the fleet in position to blast the planet, but claimed he needed time to properly position it. Rethinking what he has done. The fact that he gives the order anyway makes him now someone beyond redemption.

Just Another Crazy Beginning
FreeSourceFull

KOTOR above Taris: The fight aboard Endar Spire with a comedic twist.

I was laughing about three paragraphs into this and chuckled throughout. The descriptions are well done, the humor nicely ironic and satirical in turns. The very end, where it appears to be a dream that Revan is having is even funnier due to her commenting on Malak's gorget, then pretty much says shut up before I chop your jaw off. Both the sharing and threat suggest this probably happened when they were still Padawans.

Pick of the Week

Azuva
ElenaTheHun

Post TSL: The Jedi begin to hunt someone murdering Czerka Officials, and HK seems to be the culprit.

The author's notes at the start confused me, because it didn't appear to match the story itself. The piece is short but easy to read and fun. Too short to get a clear grasp of the story though.

A Night Atton Would Never Forget
Bald As Malak

TSL aboard Ebon Hawk En route to Onderon: Never mix cards and booze.

The piece surprised and delighted me. So many guys have thought 'get her drunk and do what you will, but the worm turned so effortlessly I didn't anticipate it. A riot!

Pick of the Week

Star Wars Heart of Evil
Darth Saboteur

3 years Post TSL: A new Dark lord arises

The piece has a problem with flow, action happens too quickly to keep track, and this distresses the readers making them stumble. My advice is reread, rewrite, and polish.


kotorfanmedia

Knights in Tights
Miraea Starr

Originally reviewed July 13 2007. That review is below:

After KOTOR: The Ebon Hawk makes a brief detour thanks to a black hole.

As much as I get upset with people dragging Earth into the Genre, this looks interesting. Especially when you have such logical explanations of exactly who and what the members of the crew are. As one of the people who commented said, it’s insane, and I loved it.

Reprise Pick of the Week

Cold

Evil Shall Giggle

Originally reviewed July 13 2007. That review is below:

After KOTOR: Carth reminisces

The writing style is good, the ending surprising. It sneaks up on you, and part of me wanted to scream ‘No!’ when I read it.

Pick of the Week

Looking For Something to Die For
Nivenus

Post KOTOR: A Jedi and an old friend infiltrate a Sith warship.

The piece flows well, and as one reviewer said, it's nice to see Jolee go out with a Bang.

Grains of sand
Zulu86

KOTOR on Tatooine: The Sith use a sandstorm to get close enough to attack

The piece tends to drag, more foreboding than action.

All I See is Darkness
Jedi DWH

KOTOR aboard Ebon Hawk: Dreams and nightmares

The piece as another reviewer commented was frightening then funny. The end was a bit confusing, but on the whole I liked it.

Stowaway
Belladonna

KOTOR aboard Ebon Hawk: The hiding of Sasha after Dantooine

The piece does as I did what few others have; Looked at the world from Sasha's eyes. The author portrays a small girl afraid, but not giving up.

Pick of the Week


'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
Acceptance
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile
machievelli is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 05-21-2011, 09:38 PM   #1197
machievelli
Local curmudgeon
 
machievelli's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Las Vegas Nevada
Posts: 2,820
Current Game: Dungeonseige series
Hot Topic Starter Veteran Fan Fic Author Helpful! Forum Veteran 
Coruscant Entertainment Center

In Misery And Hope
Mr_BFA

TSL aboard Ebon Hawk: The Exile is tormented by his own doubts in human form.

Mr BFA does some good work and part of me wishes he'd waited the three weeks or so by posting it to the challenge. It would be worth voting for.

Pick of the Week

kotorfanmedia

Dueling Destinies
Infanta Magdalena

KOTOR orbiting Taris: The intro with a new twist.

The idea of making the main character something other than scoundrel, scout or soldier was a unique twist. Her working with communications as a translator helped explain her computer abilities. Well and tightly written.

Pick of the Week

Mandalore's Promise
Revanrand16

TSL in the Onderon system: Mandalore remembers Revan, and eagerly awaits the arrival of the Exile

The piece is well written, with Mandalore as the tragic father waiting for his daughter's return. I have a feeling from what little I read that when the Exile heads for the Unknown Regions she had better expect to have Mandalorian back up.

Shifting Loyalties
Nivenus

Pre KOTOR: Saul and Carth's last meeting before the Admiral changes sides

I liked the idea that Saul was not sounding Carth out about treason, only examining his own feelings on the corruption above him. The idea that Carth is beaten out for a promotion by an incompetent politically connected officer makes it easier to understand Karath's willingness to change sides.

Technical note: Most navies assign a personal steward to officers ranked Captain and above on ships larger than a Destroyer, and have one steward assigned just to officer's country on smaller ships. That means he doesn't have to heat up or cook his own meals unless cooking is a hobby. I have met very few ship commanders who had to cook their own aboard ship.

Only Time Will Tell
PhantomMenace

KOTOR after Korriban: Dustil remembers his last meeting with Saul Karath, and considers the reconciliation with his father.

The piece is short and sweet. Dustil goes from a proud Sith warrior to a saddened boy wishing his love had not died. The end suggests hope, however. The future might be bright.

On The Other Side of Things
Onasilvr

KOTOR aboard Leviathan: Three men on guard duty share smokes and banter

The piece has a soft feel of men just talking about what is on their minds. Suddenly you see the Sith not as faceless evil, but as normal people on the wrong side of a war.

Moment of Truth
Prisoner24601

KOTOR aboard Endar Spire: Trask considers his task

The piece is very interesting in that it is said this is the fourth time Revan has been reset as it were. The idea that the Jedi would have implanted a kill switch makes a great deal of sense, it always bothered me that only two people seemed to know of her existence aboard the ship; Trask and Bastila.

Fanfiction.net

Battle of the Heroes
Chris Ganale

KOTOR after Leviathan: The crew deals with the revelation.

The piece is basically a generic retelling of the scene.

Toys
ElenaTheHun

Post TSL: The Exile searches for Revan in the Unknown Regions

The piece is funny due to the interplay between the droids and the one Sith they meet. The Exile's sarcasm is a lot of fun to deal with.

Meditation Omega
TripleGuess

Republic Commando era: A Jedi tries to cut one important bond

The piece is introspective on the surface level, the Jedi tied to one squad of Clone troopers trying to sever that link emotionally. But knowing the outcome and who she is, I know it's a last gasp of Jedi sanity.

The Fragile Male Ego
ElenaTheHun

During the Mandalorian wars: Two shipmates say goodbye

The piece was fun. Having Atton and Bao-Dur meet before they crew the Ebon Hawk wasn't too bad, and having all of the women throwing themselves at Bao-Dur to the detriment of Atton's ego was just too choice.

Pick of the Week

What Dreams May Come
Wook

Originally reviewed 20 January 2006 over at Kotorfanmedia. That review is below:

Set in KOTOR; Revelations during the final battle may change Revan forever.

I had never seen the concept that Revan and Malak were siblings before. Just as I made them people who almost became lovers, wook made them brother and sister. An excellent concept, and excellent read.

Reprise Pick of the Week

Insanity of Revan
Hitokiri Akins

Post KOTOR: When your love is dead, Revenge is sometimes the only option

The piece has a Vengeance is mine feel. Quite interesting


'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
Acceptance
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile
machievelli is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 05-23-2011, 07:08 AM   #1198
The_Catto
The Rhythm Schism
 
The_Catto's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: New South Wales, Australia.
Posts: 1,199
Current Game: KotOR
Contest winner - Fan Fiction 
Cheers, Mach!

Yeah, a day after I posted it I was thinking maybe I should've held off, but ahhh, too late, haha. I might squeeze something else out if I have the time and inspiration, before the deadline, but will just have to wait and see.

Glad that you like it

The_Catto is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 05-28-2011, 10:03 AM   #1199
machievelli
Local curmudgeon
 
machievelli's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Las Vegas Nevada
Posts: 2,820
Current Game: Dungeonseige series
Hot Topic Starter Veteran Fan Fic Author Helpful! Forum Veteran 
Fanfiction.net

Secrets I'll Never Tell
CortessaBlatt

Pre TSL: Mira's earlier life

I do wish the game designers had given us some background on the secondary characters. Where I made Mira a girl that had fought for the Mandalorians Cortessa made her a child of Nar Shaddaa. The idea that she would go from being an aspiring actress/singer to bounty hunter was a bit much to me.

As for sexual orientation, I for one have this to say... Who cares? The pass was so gentle the Twi-lek overreacted in my opinion.

Heartbreaker
Clover64

Post TSL: The confrontations on Mustafar with a different cast

The problem I had with the piece is that it could have been done by using a global replacement substituting characters from KOTOR for Revenge of the Sith. It is not a fair sample of your own talents. What I would like to see is your own work surpassing this.

Forgotten
Rikosuka

KOTOR on the Star Forge and the Rakata planet: Revan deals with the emotional aftermath of the struggle.

Remember to do a visual edit before you port; this catches words that do not fit such as phase (change) instead of faze (bother), or plead which should have been plea. There were also some times you didn't finish a sentence or ran words together.

The piece is excellent in the angst not only of wondering is she could redeem Malak, but also her terror at almost falling to the dark side again, and her admitted love of Bastila.

Pick of the Week

Stargazer Joe
LazerTH

No specific era given: What if the Force was like another personality?

The piece was fun in that the Force acts like a petulant child from the start, something the main character doesn't realize until his argument with his master on Dantooine. The irreverent attitude toward the master is more the Force talking rather than the student as well.

The Disciple Stone
CortessaBlatt

Pre KOTOR: Glimpse of the Disciple's childhood

The piece like most of CB's work flows very well, and the scene is well defined. The first meeting between the Exile and Mical is perfect.
Technical note: Aren't mynocks the fliers who eat ship's cables?

Pick of the Week

Knights of the Old Republic
Dischord

KOTOR above Taris: The adventure begins

Except for the fact that there is little or no character development, the piece flows very well. I have made notes below concerning the technical points that need to be addressed, but on the whole a better than generic read.

Technical note: A gunman is more properly called a gunner. Shipboard directions are port (left facing the bow) and starboard (right facing the bow)

kotorfanmedia

Homewards
Paranoid Gerbil

KOTOR aboard Endar Spire: Trask Ulgo's last moments, and past

The piece is outstanding! You view the war years not from a defeated view, or a victor's view. Rather you view it from the man who has lost everything he cared about, and is only doing his duty from rote. His last moments, like those in the movie Gladiator, are the wishes of a man about to die, who is not afraid, and expects his world to be just beyond the veil.

Pick of the Week

His Reason
MandalorianJedi

Mandalorian wars: What goes through Malak's mind as he fights?

The piece begs the question; Am I fighting for the Republic or because my superior (Revan) has decreed it?

After reading, I have to go with option 2; Malak at this point does not care where or who he fights, only that someone he accepts directs his actions.

Flight to Freedom
Briavel

KOTOR on Korriban: Thalia and her companions continue their escape

One of those parts of the story not covered since it was only a side quest, this piece follows the band of escaped students after being rescued by the main character. Considering the short distance, it seemed to take forever for them to escape.

However it was a very good read.

Deadline
HeFe

KOTOR on Korriban: The ghost of Ajunta Pall feel's the Dark Revan's approach.

The piece is far too short as others have commented. I only placed this on the assumption of a Dark Side game, and have no real clue if it fits. As another reviewer commented, you have this epic opening with no real meat to the story.

Betrayal of Honor
Jedi Valius

KOTOR on Tatooine: As he lays dying, Jagi remembers what led him to this point.

The author did good work; the battle scenes were well done, the action crisp and clean.

I went through this side quest once, and avoided it afterward in other games because I didn't like the ending. To me it was like the game author just didn't know how to deal with Canderous' denouement regarding the events in the battle, and could only consider suicide or fighting to the death anyway. There had to be an honorable middle ground to my mind.

Pick of the Week

Caught in Destiny's Wake
AWilson

KOTOR on Taris: What happens behind the scenes when your character does something like steal a uniform?

It's interesting what can happen by merely making the Sith that invites the characters to a party the opposite gender. The piece is a little bland, but as another reviewer said, it helps when you think of the average Sith as just a guy like yourself doing a job, not a rabid monster.


'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
Acceptance
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile
machievelli is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 06-04-2011, 10:19 AM   #1200
machievelli
Local curmudgeon
 
machievelli's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Las Vegas Nevada
Posts: 2,820
Current Game: Dungeonseige series
Hot Topic Starter Veteran Fan Fic Author Helpful! Forum Veteran 
kotorfanmedia

Relative
Aminta Jae

Originally reviewed 15 June 2007, that review is below:

KOTOR: An examination of the merits of good and bad, and the consequences.

The ending was a surprise, but after a moment, I was surprised that I had been. After all the story had gently led the reader to that point, and only our own biases would tell us anything else.

One of the more interesting suggestions was that prim and proper Vrook was known once for his escapades. It makes me wonder is the Jedi had been more akin to bees spreading pollen instead of Christian style monks.

Excellent work.

Reprise Pick of the Week

The Promise
Crystal001 under the name Walruseater

Originally reviewed 15 June 2007, that review is below:

From pre-KOTOR to game: Juhani’s life and her death

The work is excellent, the story and rational well considered and presented. Well worth a read.

Reprise Pick of the Week

Changed View
Noneko

Originally reviewed 22 Jun 2007

KOTOR: A look at the life of Thalia May

Most of us ignore the shadowy non player characters. It isn’t that they are not there, or unimportant. It’s like the ultra rich with their servants. How many of them even bother to ask how that servant’s day has gone?

Noneko who has graced my reviews before makes us look, and the look is refreshing and fun. Well worth the read.

Reprise Pick of the Week

Knights of the Old Republic: Chapter One:- Ambush
Kyoko

KOTOR at Taris: The beginning through another author's view

The author has has some constructive criticism already, my main note then will be that Kyoko created a different view of the scenes by leaving out Trask and having her own actions slow the pod before it's crash.

For the Greater Good
WinterOnasi

A minimum of 20 years before TSL: Mical's mother reacts instead of thinking

The piece is outstanding. We get a good chance to see the interaction between the parents of nascent Jedi and the Jedi themselves. The characters from a 3 year old Mical to an actually sensitive Vrook are well portrayed.

Pick of the Week

Memoirs of a Friend
LilianJoy

Post KOTOR: A brief interview about Revan's departure

The piece is well done, the POV pure Mission. Having her upset because the second missive from Revan came to her was also pure Mission.

Pick of the Week

Fanfiction.net

In My Corruption
CortessaBlatt

TSL no specific timing given: Having proven she can have Atton when she wills, a dark Exile now sets her sights on the Disciple

The author claims fatigue and delusions, but the work is actually quite good and up to the standards I expect. Disciple is like a pretty sculpture, and a Dark Exile would be drawn to such a person like a shark.

As for Santa: My ex-wife admits to a streak a paranoia, and she said as a child Santa terrified her. Knowing everything you do, recording it all, and able to strike at you where ever you try to hide, what is not to be paranoid about?

Pick of the Week

A Knight's Fall
Brazilian Sith Lord

Mandalorian wars to the Star Forge: Revan recognizes beginning of his fall

I thnk English must be you're second language, so I will not be harsh. You have a tendency to run words together at it can be disturbing. Everything wrong are editing problems, and my advice is to edit, reread, rewrite, and polish.

I didn't have time to read much, but the first section is well wrought and intriguing. As I said in my own KOTOR novelization; expediency is what you must use to fight a war, but at the same time, the road to the Dark Side is paved with stones of it.

Acid Etched
ElenaTheHun

TSL, Citadel Station after Ravager: Some downtime for the crew

The only real editing problem is forgetting conversation breaks. Remember to watch for them.

The piece has a nice 'end of disaster, let's relax for a moment' feel to it. Like Bao-Dur you're left wondering if having this scene happen ten years earlier would have had them as lovers.

Feeling of Freedom
Alexandra3

TSL on Nar Shaddaa: Relaxation is not what Kreia has in mind

The piece is basically generic because you anticipate the actions of all of the characters. Every one is doing what you would anticipate that they would do. Not bad work, but it needs some punching up.

Back in 2006 I published a novel entitled Wanderer: Gryphonrider II. In one scene while trapped in a torture chamber the main character her training as a child when her martial arts instructor got her drunk primarily to teach her how to still fight effectively while in that state. That is what I think the Jedi should have made part of their curriculum when teaching the young students. It is harder to resist love, anger, etc, if you don't recognize the symptoms, understand the cause, and know the counter balance.

Awkward Contradictions
CortessaBlatt

TSL After Malachor V: The author said it best, coming home only to say goodbye

I agree both beginning and ending were weak, but the piece sits there like a Steuben glass, and dares you to edit.

Pick of the Week

Pink Banthas
Listed as by CrazyOcelot here, and has attribution to Lady Revan as Co-author.

Originally reviewed 2 March 2006 over at kotorfanmedia. The review is below:

During KOTOR: HK has a slight problem...

First: A very important safety point when you decide to read this. Under no circumstances drink anything while you do!

I knew when I saw the authors who wrote this that it would be a good piece. Neither of them has disappointed me so far.

What I did not expect was blowing coffee all over my monitor and keyboard because I took a sip! It was right after HK makes a comment about Revan sleeping...

But I am not going to ruin your fun. This work got 55 thumbs up and had 44 people willing to comment. I can’t praise it enough.

Reprise Pick of the Week


'To argue with those who have renounced the use and authority of reason is as futile as to administer medicine to the dead.' Now who said that?

From the one who brought you;
What we die for...
Acceptance
KOTOR excerpts
Star Wars: The Beginning
Star Wars: Republic Dawn
Return From Exile
machievelli is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Post a new thread. Add a reply to this thread. Indicate all threads in this forum as read. Subscribe to this forum. RSS feed: this forum RSS feed: all forums
Go Back   LucasForums > Network > Knights of the Old Republic > Community > Coruscant Entertainment Centre > The Critic's 2 cents

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 02:07 PM.

LFNetwork, LLC ©2002-2011 - All rights reserved.
Powered by vBulletin®
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.