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Old 07-06-2010, 10:15 PM   #921
Darth Avlectus
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Nah, I'm too busy racking up $$$ for that laser they borrowed.

Eat some cow patty 'shrooms.


That's right, Bixby Snyder folks.
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Old 07-07-2010, 08:02 AM   #922
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Old 07-09-2010, 03:50 AM   #923
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Can't steal it if I dunno where it's at.


Letting your housekeeper break the news to your mom about who JillJoe really is, err was...


That's right, Bixby Snyder folks.
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Old 07-09-2010, 09:15 AM   #924
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I cant. she already knew


go tell your mom that the housekeeper killed hereself after breaking such news




Quote:
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I wish I had some Combustable Lemons.

Quote:
Originally Posted by =purifier View Post
Granted, but you accidently get blown up with that lemony smell and the
Pine-Sol woman appears out of nowhere and says: "That's the power of Pine-Sol, baby. "
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Old 07-09-2010, 05:57 PM   #925
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No can do! My mother doesn't believe in housekeepers.







I need to purify something...come over here so I can purify you of your soul, so that I may present it to the "Soul Stealing One." MUUHAHAHAHAHA!


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Old 07-09-2010, 06:09 PM   #926
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No thanks, I'll just go the car wash and put my soul in neutral.

Does the soul have a 4-speed manual or a 5-speed manual transmission?


Let's kill ourselves.

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Old 07-09-2010, 07:53 PM   #927
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That does not compute. DANGER!!! DANGER WILL ROBINSON!!!

Crawl under that stove without a multimeter and see if the 277VAC outlet is working.


That's right, Bixby Snyder folks.
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Old 07-10-2010, 01:46 PM   #928
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NO WAY GTA! Somebody already warned me, that's how you got rid of your last assistant. HA! I'm on to you, you'll not get rid of me that easy!






Here....hold this large bundle of unsheathed wires, while I go and flip a swi......I, I, mean check something out.


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Old 07-10-2010, 02:01 PM   #929
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no thanks. i dont have any hands.

hold those wires and turn on the switch




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I wish I had some Combustable Lemons.

Quote:
Originally Posted by =purifier View Post
Granted, but you accidently get blown up with that lemony smell and the
Pine-Sol woman appears out of nowhere and says: "That's the power of Pine-Sol, baby. "
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Old 07-12-2010, 02:48 AM   #930
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Nah, I'd rather not have to waste a perfectly good insulated clamp and have to pay for a new safety breaker (BTW you didn't think a part time electrician was going to hold it barehanded did you? ).

Use your head literally to turn on light switches for the next week.


That's right, Bixby Snyder folks.
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Old 07-17-2010, 05:03 AM   #931
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But, but.....there are no phyiscal light switches in my house, they're all those stupid clap-on/clap-off pieces of crap.







Step on a crack and break your back.


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Old 07-17-2010, 05:21 AM   #932
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That's ok, I've already broken your back.

Go create a video game that will make you filthy rich.


Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor, dumb bastard die for his country.---Patton

There is no room in this country for hyphenated Americanism.---Teddy Roosevelt

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.---Groucho

And if you all get killed, I'll piss on your graves.---Shaman Urdnot

How would you like to own a little bit of my foot in your ass.---Red Foreman
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Old 07-17-2010, 11:00 AM   #933
Te Darasuum Mandalor
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but what if it sucks? I don't think i can take that kind of rejection

Buy out Disney




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Old 07-17-2010, 08:40 PM   #934
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Nah, I'd rather just plink the princesses for the dribbling easy wenches they are and call them milfs of other forumites.

Go make cheap napalm out of acetone and styrofoam.

*runs away*


That's right, Bixby Snyder folks.
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Old 07-17-2010, 11:49 PM   #935
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No, I only settle for using the real thing.

Rob your local NatGaurd armory and steal some napalm.


Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor, dumb bastard die for his country.---Patton

There is no room in this country for hyphenated Americanism.---Teddy Roosevelt

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.---Groucho

And if you all get killed, I'll piss on your graves.---Shaman Urdnot

How would you like to own a little bit of my foot in your ass.---Red Foreman
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Old 07-18-2010, 08:17 PM   #936
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Nah. Last time I did that they didn't have what it took to defend against the invaders.


Go and tell Al Franken what a great comedian he is and that you love his jokes.


That's right, Bixby Snyder folks.
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Old 07-18-2010, 11:17 PM   #937
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No thanks, I'd rather tell him what a freaking t-bagged douche he is.

Steal all of Dr. Breen's monitors so that his HAAAAAAX! attacks are harmless.


Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor, dumb bastard die for his country.---Patton

There is no room in this country for hyphenated Americanism.---Teddy Roosevelt

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.---Groucho

And if you all get killed, I'll piss on your graves.---Shaman Urdnot

How would you like to own a little bit of my foot in your ass.---Red Foreman
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Old 07-19-2010, 03:09 AM   #938
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Can't tell the purifier to steal something it already has, I giveth and I taketh away.








Fire all of your guns at once and shoot yourself in the foot. ( I hope you don't have a bazooka)


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Old 07-19-2010, 07:30 AM   #939
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I can't do that till your licking my boots. 2 fer 1, dontcha know.

Hey purifier.....stop being so pathetic.


Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor, dumb bastard die for his country.---Patton

There is no room in this country for hyphenated Americanism.---Teddy Roosevelt

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.---Groucho

And if you all get killed, I'll piss on your graves.---Shaman Urdnot

How would you like to own a little bit of my foot in your ass.---Red Foreman
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Old 07-19-2010, 02:12 PM   #940
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I can't help it, I'm picking up bad habits from you and GTA.








Stick your fingers in a live light socket, so I can take a picture...and have a "Kodak moment".


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Old 07-19-2010, 03:41 PM   #941
Darth Avlectus
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Sure, live as in having a cyborg "novelty" plugged into it.

Let Chris Dodd know what a wonderful ingenious generous guy he is, and that only mean spirited people call him turkey or froggy parachute-neck.


That's right, Bixby Snyder folks.
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Old 08-10-2010, 01:56 AM   #942
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No can do!...With him, honesty is the best policy, so just tell him like it is.







Don't play with matches, in front of "Smokey the Bear".


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Old 08-10-2010, 05:17 AM   #943
Darth Avlectus
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Too late, I baited him in with candy and garbage then tried to light him ablaze. Failing that I took out my sword and chased him down.

Someone go tell Tommy Vercetti his troubles with the mob aren't over even if he did get rid of Sonny Forelli.


That's right, Bixby Snyder folks.
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Old 01-01-2011, 03:08 PM   #944
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I think it's better he doesn't know that.

Pack your microwave full of eggs, then turn it on.

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Old 01-01-2011, 07:45 PM   #945
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Only if you personally are reimbursing me for every penny of damage done to my property from the resulting explosion.

Go put powdered caustic soda in the drinks for the party.


That's right, Bixby Snyder folks.
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Old 01-02-2011, 01:34 AM   #946
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What party?

Don't try this at home.

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Old 01-02-2011, 01:51 AM   #947
Darth Avlectus
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But it looks like fun, I want to do jeckass stunts at home.


Hey, you're the new guy to checkpoint security, your turn to give that elephant a cavity search.


That's right, Bixby Snyder folks.
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Old 01-02-2011, 09:36 AM   #948
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Can't, it says in the regs....explicitly....that you have to strip search the rest of the members of the animal kingdom. sucks to be you.

Tell Red to quit kicking you in the ass all the time.


Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor, dumb bastard die for his country.---Patton

There is no room in this country for hyphenated Americanism.---Teddy Roosevelt

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.---Groucho

And if you all get killed, I'll piss on your graves.---Shaman Urdnot

How would you like to own a little bit of my foot in your ass.---Red Foreman
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Old 01-03-2011, 10:47 AM   #949
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I like it.

Don't crush a coffee mug in your fist.

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Old 01-03-2011, 10:32 PM   #950
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Too late. Now my hand is all cut up 'cuz I have shards of ceramic stuck in my palm. >_<

Don't let my giant rat out of the cage.


That's right, Bixby Snyder folks.
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Old 01-03-2011, 10:45 PM   #951
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But I'm hungry.

Do the smart thing, let someone else try first.

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Old 01-03-2011, 10:51 PM   #952
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But that hoebag is so fine...I can't resist...
<2 Hrs later>
Hey, why am I getting all itchy?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alkonium View Post
But I'm hungry.
There's plenty of much better feeders downstairs.
==============


DON'T let my rat out to chew up my clothes and $*** under my work table.


That's right, Bixby Snyder folks.
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Old 01-04-2011, 05:14 AM   #953
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I have to.....dead people are telling me to and giving me no choice.

Leave that zombie alone or it's going to skin you alive.


Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor, dumb bastard die for his country.---Patton

There is no room in this country for hyphenated Americanism.---Teddy Roosevelt

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.---Groucho

And if you all get killed, I'll piss on your graves.---Shaman Urdnot

How would you like to own a little bit of my foot in your ass.---Red Foreman
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Old 01-04-2011, 02:30 PM   #954
Darth Avlectus
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*concrete mixer shredding zombie* What now? Oh too late. Say what's this grinding device it was dragging--AAAAGH! crap! My hand! The skin on the back of my hand! MEDIC!

Go deliver that garlic mushroom pizza to The Count's house on sesame street.


That's right, Bixby Snyder folks.
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Old 01-04-2011, 09:11 PM   #955
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I would, but I hear the cheap bastard has more than just a numbers fetish.

Supply snuffelufagus (sp?) with cocaine.


Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor, dumb bastard die for his country.---Patton

There is no room in this country for hyphenated Americanism.---Teddy Roosevelt

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.---Groucho

And if you all get killed, I'll piss on your graves.---Shaman Urdnot

How would you like to own a little bit of my foot in your ass.---Red Foreman
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Old 01-04-2011, 09:53 PM   #956
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I'm trying to get him off the stuff.

Try that Destiny Meth stuff that I somehow invented. Which I won't so much as look at.

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Old 01-05-2011, 04:56 AM   #957
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Sorry, if it ain't good enought for you......

Give it to Mikey......he hates everything.


Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor, dumb bastard die for his country.---Patton

There is no room in this country for hyphenated Americanism.---Teddy Roosevelt

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.---Groucho

And if you all get killed, I'll piss on your graves.---Shaman Urdnot

How would you like to own a little bit of my foot in your ass.---Red Foreman
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Old 01-06-2011, 05:45 PM   #958
Darth Avlectus
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Nah I gave it to Fred. He looks like he uses it regularly.


Play the song "YEAH TOAST!" for 2 hours straight.


That's right, Bixby Snyder folks.
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Old 01-06-2011, 07:34 PM   #959
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stick a sword in your mouth.
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Old 01-06-2011, 07:39 PM   #960
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Way ahead of you


Create a chain letter and infect the internet



Bink's Sake

"I've barely eaten anything for many decades now. It feels like my stomach shriveled into my back........though i don't have a stomach or back because i'm a skeleton! Yohohohoho! SKULL JOKE!"

"My eyes have never seen such a pretty woman! But i'm a skeleton so my eyes don't see much."
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