The Dapper Zabrak
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Joliet, IL, USA
Current Game: Awaiting Greatness from PS4!
Darth Groovy Presents: An updated version of Top Ten Movie Cliches that need to go!
Now last year Cinemassacre.com did a very good compilation, but I personally feel they left some things out.
10. Always a hero, or just plain cool if you walk away from an explosion.
Seriously. From the time you first discovered fire, to the time you discovered fireworks. Did you not turn to see what happened? In Hollywood, you walk away from and explosion you are instantly elevated to "cool" status. Doesn't matter if you are the hero or villain. Observe!
9. "From the creators of The 300 and Sin City..."
Seems to be the common tag line of just about every stupid movie right now...
Folks. The 300 movie came out in 2006. It is now 2011. Have we not got over this movie in five years? Really? Sin City... A frank Miller comic. Ok, I get it. Let's make a fanciful movie based on comic culture. Because what worked in 2006, will very obviously work in 2011 right? Please. If the Star Wars prequals did not teach you a lesson, stop hurping the derp over this one eh?
8. Horror movie cliche... "scariest thing since The Ring, or The Excorcist."
Dude. I remember tag lines on The Blair Witch Project as being the "scariest thing since the Exorcist". First of all, The Blair Witch Project is the stupidest movie of all time, and I am glad to tell you why. First of all, the movie is so low budget, that it used the actual names of the actors as actors in the film. The reason this movie sucks so bad, is because all of the actors in this film are beyond stupid. Seriously, you go into the black forrest to film a witch, you loose the map...ok....might believe that, but after crossing the same stream twice....why did you not just follow the current of the stream? The crew is shown earlier in the film as smoking weed. Then they go into the black forrest. I have always had a problem with movies when I cannot connect with the protagonist. In the Blair Witch Project all of the main protagonists are complete morons, so by the end of the movie, I give less of a crap of what happens to them. Also, never liked the Excorcist either, but that is another thread.
7. Every time some mope in any film puts on a leather jacket, we have to hear George Thorogood and the Destroyers play "Bad to the Bone". b-b-b-b-bad bad to the bone...kill me....
6. The Heavy: "How You Like Me Now?"
In 2010, this song was in every commercial ever.
5. Snoop Dogg, and Ice Cube: Please stop making movies?
They went from Rappers who talked about racism, drugs, and street violence to making modern day versions of old blaxploitation films. Glad to see progress...(/facepalm)
4. Sports Underdog films.
Here is the plot. The team sucks, so they get a super tough coach, but he is actually a nice guy and he is really proud of his team. Then they win the big game, and everyone is happy. Even if they don't win the game, everyone is super happy because they went so far. The end. This is the plot for Rudy, Remember The Titans, Rocky, We Are Marshall, Rookie, Hoosiers,...etc. Stay home, watch a real game on TV, and clip your toe nails instead.
3. Using a classic Rock Song in a movie that does not even have that song in the damn soundtrack.
Usually a sign that the movie really sucks, is over use of music, and over use of commercials. Honestly, I feel that if you went to go see some middle aged action flick because they played Three Dog Night's "Mama Told(Me Not To Come)", and find out that the song is not even in the film, they owe you $.99 at the box office window for the mp3 download. That is, if you were stupid enough to go piss away $10 on a movie for that reason.
2. Showing all the best jokes from a comedy film in the trailer.
Explains the last five Adam Sandler films, and anything with Dane Cook, and/or Vince Vaughn.
1. Having a Disney/Pixar/Dreamworks computer animated kids movie featuring some talking thing, weather it be dogs, cats, wolves, cars, bees, ants, coffee cups, dinosaurs, hermit crabs, grizzly bears, antelopes, nursery rhymes or wilder beasts...basically a new one every 90 days.
Tired of it. Formula started with Shrek, (or maybe it was Toy Story...) and it was cute. Then it was Bee Movie, Cars, Chicken Little, The Incredibles, Ice Age, Open Season, Flushed Away, Rattatoulie, I might be missing a few, and I don't care. I suppose these films would mean more to me, if I had kids. I don't...so I don't care. I hate to say it, but I miss the old cartoons, and I am kind of tired of the CGI and the silly one liners and the dramatic pauses to make something seem funnier than it already is. Anyone remember Aladdin? I guess I am stuck in the past, but what ever.