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Old 09-27-2011, 05:09 PM   #1
Negative Sun
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Sooo...

I broke up with my partner.

We had been together for 7 years and we were engaged.

I'm playing lots of KotOR and telling Bastila where to shove it in some nerd rage reaction to getting my heart squished.

You might see me hang around here more often now if I can use my computer. (I have an Android phone too I can use to get online but it's not as handy to use LF on it, I have a Galaxy S II btw the best phone there has ever been I hear it's just being launched in the States so you Americans go get one you will climax as soon as you touch it I kid you not!)

What's new with everybody else???



"I killed a man cause he killed my goat."
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Old 09-27-2011, 05:15 PM   #2
Jae Onasi
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Well, Negative Sun, after breaking up with my fiance after we'd been going out for a couple years, I took time off from dating and just did all those things that I wanted to do but he didn't. Did it suck breaking up? Yeah. No getting around that. It gets easier after awhile.

Take your time and just be "you" for awhile.

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Old 09-27-2011, 05:32 PM   #3
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Take your time and just be "you" for awhile.
That's exactly my plan! I'm glad to hear things are looking up for you I know you've been through a tough time lately.

Well you know I'm 25 now and I was in a relationship since I was 18 so I've never properly been "single", so I shall enjoy it while it lasts and make the best of it



"I killed a man cause he killed my goat."
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Old 09-27-2011, 05:45 PM   #4
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Singleness.... It sounds so simple and fun and great when you are with somebody, and then you realize you need to find your mojo!

Finding mojo is the quest you are on now. You certainly have it, but you will need to find and reinvigorate it. It is the most worthy of quests, and is a highly personal one. Should you find your mojo, you will have given yourself the greatest of gifts

My advice: take plenty of time... even if you meet someone great, don't let it get too serious too soon, it is an easy trap to fall into "on the rebound" - usually comes from insecurity related to lack of mojo.

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Old 09-28-2011, 12:03 AM   #5
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Quote:
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I have a Galaxy S II btw the best phone there has ever been I hear it's just being launched in the States so you Americans go get one you will climax as soon as you touch it I kid you not!)
I love the Galaxy S II as well but... ew.

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Old 09-28-2011, 03:11 AM   #6
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Seven years? Damn. Sorry to hear that, NS.

Well, look on the bright side: At least you didn't have to go through a messy divorce.


"They should rename the team to the Washington Government Sucks. Put Obama on the helmet. Line the entire walls of the stadium with the actual text of the ACA.
Fix their home team score on the board to the debt clock, they can win every game 17,000,000,000,000 to 24. Losing team gets taxed by the IRS 100%, then droned."
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Old 09-28-2011, 04:19 AM   #7
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Well, look on the bright side: At least you didn't have to go through a messy divorce.
Actually, nowadays you don't actually have to be married to the person for them to be able to take you for all you're worth. In a 7 year relationship Negative Sun's ex is entitled to take him to court and legally rob him blind and senseless.

At least this is true in a lot of countries these days, perhaps he's lucky and Scotland doesn't have it this way but I do know that you can do it in the US and Australia... not be married and still go through a "divorce"... a lot of lawyers are suggesting to people that they get a prenup if they're going to start a relationship with someone XD

I'm not making this up!

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Old 09-28-2011, 06:14 AM   #8
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Actually, nowadays you don't actually have to be married to the person for them to be able to take you for all you're worth. In a 7 year relationship Negative Sun's ex is entitled to take him to court and legally rob him blind and senseless.
That's an easy fix for me there's nothing to rob lol
Except maybe my Galaxy S II but it's a bit "used"



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Old 09-28-2011, 06:17 AM   #9
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You better hide it from her then... it's hers, not yours XD

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Old 09-28-2011, 07:13 AM   #10
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You better hide it from her then... it's hers, not yours XD
Ironically it used to be hers but she couldn't get on with it so she has one of those blackberry message type things now and I have this one. Sweet deal



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Old 09-28-2011, 09:01 PM   #11
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I don't have a Galaxy S II but would like to get one... problem is that while I have a phone I hardly ever use it for anything lol. I do have a Samsung Galaxy Tab 10.1 though... it's banned in Europe thanks to Apple and most likely isn't going to be released in Australia any time soon for the same reason so I imported mine from the US months ago...



It's pretty damn awesome.

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Old 09-28-2011, 09:07 PM   #12
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That's an easy fix for me there's nothing to rob lol
Except maybe my Galaxy S II but it's a bit "used"
There's advantages to being po'. This is one of them.


"They should rename the team to the Washington Government Sucks. Put Obama on the helmet. Line the entire walls of the stadium with the actual text of the ACA.
Fix their home team score on the board to the debt clock, they can win every game 17,000,000,000,000 to 24. Losing team gets taxed by the IRS 100%, then droned."
-Toker
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Old 09-29-2011, 03:14 AM   #13
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Breaking up is always hard to do. Been there, done that a few times. The relationships that lasted for good amount of time are the hardest ones to get over.

The key is to learn from them. Depending on how you handle it, it can either help you or hurt you in the long run. The part that can hurt you is the new insecurities about yourself that will be in your sub-conscience. Like things your ex had a problem with you that may not be a problem with your future relationship. And most of the time they don't surface conscientiously until you start a new relationship. The key is to make sure you don't let those insecurities ruin a potential future relationship. And you want someone to love you for who you are and that includes your faults and shortcomings.

Sometimes, the thing that hurts the most is you sit there at times and think there is something wrong with you. And then when that happens, you then try to make yourself better by finding all the faults without your ex. Just know this. Time heals. Talking about it with others that you trust also helps. Make sure you get out all your frustrations about what happened. So don't hold things in.


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Old 09-29-2011, 05:09 AM   #14
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To be fair Shem it's not a hugely messy break up, we are still living together at the moment and there is no real urgency to part ways that way. We just both knew and realised that it wasn't meant to be so it was best to call it quits and remain civil than try to keep going and argue every single day about the same things.

I'm not too worried about the opposite sex lol, I'm not too bad looking if I say so myself and I can speak three languages fluently. In an English speaking country this is as impressive as having gargantuan male parts (which I don't deny having either ), whereas in mainland Europe they just go "so what" and continue to steal money from the rest of the world...




Quote:
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I don't have a Galaxy S II but would like to get one... problem is that while I have a phone I hardly ever use it for anything lol. I do have a Samsung Galaxy Tab 10.1 though... it's banned in Europe thanks to Apple and most likely isn't going to be released in Australia any time soon for the same reason so I imported mine from the US months ago...



It's pretty damn awesome.
I want to touch it

Yeah wait till the US version of the S II is out because it has the four android buttons with the handy search button rather than the central "home" button (which is probably the ONLY thing I would change about mine)



"I killed a man cause he killed my goat."

Last edited by Negative Sun; 09-29-2011 at 05:15 AM.
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Old 09-29-2011, 07:28 AM   #15
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Sorry to hear about this. I just dropped off a relationship of two years and a few months. And while it's nowhere as long as your seven years, anything that manages to endure for over six months leaves a bad taste in your mouth when it ends. In my case I wanted to break up because I knew I didn't felt the same way about her as I have for the past years and decided that remaining in a relationship with her out of laziness or pity simple wouldn't be fair. She's a beautiful girl and won't have trouble finding happiness elsewhere, it just had to be done.

Still, you seem to be holding up better than I have. I'm not desperate about the situation but I can't say I'm happy either, despite now having much more time to do the things I want and start getting along with my friends again. Oh, and finally enjoy college in all its bachelor glory. I've found Jae's advice simple and good and will probably do just as she told you. Hope it works out for you as well.


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Old 10-02-2011, 03:08 PM   #16
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Two years is still really long man, it's best to do it sooner rather than later though we left it far too long it should never have lasted that long the signs had been there for ages...



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Old 10-02-2011, 08:54 PM   #17
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This thread has put me on a downer. Break ups suck. Especially when you're too attached and you're the one who has been dumped. We only went for a year. We split in March. I'm still not over her, while she is COMPLETELY over me. It's a crap life.

I swear, the amount of ice cream i've eaten these past few months :L


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Old 10-03-2011, 05:49 AM   #18
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Chocolate ice cream?

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Old 10-03-2011, 07:02 AM   #19
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This thread has put me on a downer. Break ups suck. Especially when you're too attached and you're the one who has been dumped. We only went for a year. We split in March. I'm still not over her, while she is COMPLETELY over me. It's a crap life.

I swear, the amount of ice cream i've eaten these past few months :L
Are you a girl?


"They should rename the team to the Washington Government Sucks. Put Obama on the helmet. Line the entire walls of the stadium with the actual text of the ACA.
Fix their home team score on the board to the debt clock, they can win every game 17,000,000,000,000 to 24. Losing team gets taxed by the IRS 100%, then droned."
-Toker
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Old 10-03-2011, 08:08 AM   #20
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I like ice cream and am not a girl.

I like girls, and I like ice cream....

Anyone wanna meet at Baskin-Robbins to have a cone and chase ladies

One side always *seems* to have a harder or easier go at recovery. Having been on both sides of the debacle, it was never as easy as she felt it was for me, and yet still it was always the right thing to do.


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Old 10-03-2011, 11:49 PM   #21
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Ex's. They play a jealousy, envy game. Most the time trying to play the game isn't worth it. It's somewhat of a paradox.

If they just go away, so much the better. You can simply move on.

It's all about feeling wanted for them. They love it when they are over you but you are not over them and you acknowledge it. That's when they win.

If they are the object of your thoughts, regardless what they are, you are giving them power over you. "Love me or hate me, either way you're still thinking of me."

So you can't ever let down and give them the satisfaction. You have to keep your dignity. Look at it this way, now is a time for you. Do stuff you wanted to do. You're free now. Pretty soon, you look back and realize it's mind over matter, you don't mind cuz she doesn't matter anymore.
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Old 10-04-2011, 09:00 AM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Negative Sun
Two years is still really long man, it's best to do it sooner rather than later though we left it far too long it should never have lasted that long the signs had been there for ages...
Yeah, you're right about that. I can't say my relationship was going awry for long but as soon as we were having much more problems than the fun we used to have, we had a DTR (as much as I dread it) and not long after we broke up, more or less painless.

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We split in March. I'm still not over her, while she is COMPLETELY over me. It's a crap life.
It's part of the game showing disinterest for the ex, as GTA pointed out, even if it's not how the person truly feels. Odds are she wasn't over you until recently or she still thinks about you, trust me (unless, perhaps, you ****ed up somehow). At any rate, you shouldn't dwell on that unless there's a chance, and you're willing, to get back together. Otherwise do as we all do and move forward. Meet new people, enjoy bachelorhood, and do things in your own pace.


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Old 10-05-2011, 08:44 AM   #23
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I'd like some good chocolate ice cream but I'm Belgian so I have very high culinary expectations lol...Which doesn't work out well in a country that's famous for Haggis, neeps and tatties.

But on the other hand whiskey is awesome, buy a bottle, get drunk very fast but you're still high class drinking whiskey hehe.



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Old 10-05-2011, 11:44 AM   #24
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What, Belgian Chocolate Ice Cream isn't good enough for you?



For shame. You are dead to me now.

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Old 10-05-2011, 02:06 PM   #25
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thanks Ctrl Alt Del

and ah, the internet, the one place you can mention eating ice cream and a forum thread becomes an ice cream tribute thread...


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Old 10-09-2011, 04:33 PM   #26
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What, Belgian Chocolate Ice Cream isn't good enough for you?



For shame. You are dead to me now.
The only Belgian Ice Cream worth mentioning: Clicky



"I killed a man cause he killed my goat."
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Old 10-18-2011, 11:46 PM   #27
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I dated a girl for a month in 8th grade. We're still friends, I have been single since and prior. I dislike the dating game, I am not competitive and I do not care for silly games with tricky flirting. I am a strong sensitive male and I am very aware that I crave a partner more than anything, and that my mind body and soul have adapted to solitude as a matter of necessity, and not convenience. I have always taken the matter in the utmost seriousness and for that I have yet perhaps to experience intamacy or romance. I think that speaks to our time, this world is cold and digital and I look forward to moving away from this in my own life, perhaps witnessing it continue from afar or partaking in its natural progression in whatever way I may. :/

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Old 10-19-2011, 09:31 PM   #28
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I have always taken the matter in the utmost seriousness and for that I have yet perhaps to experience intamacy or romance.
I think you're tripping out on this way too hard. This may not be easy, never is, but once you stop caring so much and stop depending on it for a sense of well being and accomplishment in life you will be surprised. It's like as soon as stop paying attention, you have someone on the radar before you know it. Having a sense of self worth is vital to having confidence.

I'm not going to even try to tell you how to do it, but confidence is something you work on constantly. You don't just have it and keep it.

Quote:
I think that speaks to our time, this world is cold and digital and I look forward to moving away from this in my own life, perhaps witnessing it continue from afar or partaking in its natural progression in whatever way I may. :/
Part of the problem is that the digital age has perpetuated a best or nothing perfectionism. You don't even realize how profoundly you have absorbed this until you fight it.

Learn to take rejection in person and come back from it. Public speech, keep trying it. They're only people. You can't befriend everyone. You can't even keep everyone you do befriend--you'll find you probably won't want to. We all change.

You are right: you never really meet anyone at your computer. That's why if, for example, I do go into SWTOR, it will only be casual. I find my tastes for SW lately going more towards cosplay and crafting my own lightsabers and stuff. RPing with friends in person.

I have other parts of life, we all do. I love LF but if it crashed tomorrow...well life moves on (though that reminds me I should try to get in contact with others here I care to take beyond this site).
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Old 10-20-2011, 12:39 AM   #29
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Old 10-22-2011, 07:44 PM   #30
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Well it's back to Dragon age now I can be a proper pimp in that game lol :-)



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Old 10-22-2011, 11:09 PM   #31
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I'd rather be a pimp in Mass Effect...


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Old 10-22-2011, 11:53 PM   #32
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Or you can wait until Skyrim comes out. Then you won't need a girlfriend for a little while....

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Old 10-22-2011, 11:55 PM   #33
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...or The Old Republic *looks around*

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Old 10-25-2011, 10:27 AM   #34
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*looks around*

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Old 11-07-2011, 04:40 AM   #35
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...or The Old Republic *looks around*
Skyrim it is!



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