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Old 07-12-2002, 04:20 PM   #1
stormtroop
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The empires grip_series 2

Dart Vader steeped prodally onto the dusty planet of mos-espa he pushed his cloak aside and sat down on the ships plantform bay.He thought to his self that the place was awful quiet.Suddenly Vader heard a loud gun shot followed by 100s of tusken raiders as they all opened fire Vader swing and side steeped he then grabbed his saber and blocked every single bullet.Then the raiders ran into a near camping site and dissapeared.Just as vader deactivated his saber he sensed a young rebel around the area without any warning vader drew his saber and marched off Vader marched off into a old abbandoed village.A young rebel creeped up behind him he drew his saber and whoosh vader backflipped away.Its been a long time rebel aka.Lucke skywalker.Your going to die this time replied luke.Without any hesistation Vader swung around and just missed luke.The two then engaged in battle both were eager to see there oponent to die blocK Swwwing smassh these were all the sounds from the twos sabers. Then in a desprete attempt Vader used the rest of his powers in a final blow agaist luke and what a sucees it was lukes saber blew and luke fell uncounsious
To be contined

hope you like the story i was bored again so i wrote my sencond story
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Old 07-12-2002, 04:22 PM   #2
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Did you like it then if so ill contine it just reply and also rate this story by rating the theard.
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Old 07-12-2002, 04:25 PM   #3
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im also making a website containning all this new storys pictures forums etc
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Old 07-12-2002, 07:05 PM   #4
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Does anyone actually vist this bit but me
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Old 07-13-2002, 08:21 AM   #5
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Old 08-03-2002, 10:41 AM   #6
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Well for one thing when writing a story you shouldn't make so many spelling errors and the likes. Also adding your own effects like "woosh" can be distracting. And then.. well... stick true to the SW universe. I mean Vader's suit is too heavy for him to make anything close to a backflip, the guy can't even jump O_o But oh well, keep on writing and you might become good ^_^
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