I'm not an expert actually I just started to learn this stuff about a month ago, So I won't even try to write a all encompassing guide lol. But to get you started look here It's for NWN, but still very usefull
and there are lots of posts in this forum that will teach you how to do some basic things. You just need to decide what you want to do then search to see if it's been discussed.
And if you want to know what happens if you finnish playing as a female, then play again as a female. Take a look at the Mod list
to enhance the game.