lfnetwork.com mark read register faq members calendar

Thread: [Fanfic] The Plight of Darkness
Thread Tools Display Modes
Post a new thread. Add a reply to this thread. Indicate all threads in this forum as read. Subscribe to this forum. RSS feed: this forum RSS feed: all forums
Old 08-24-2005, 02:56 PM   #1
ForceFightWMe12
LFN Staff Emeritus
 
ForceFightWMe12's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Westeros
Posts: 2,691
Current Game: Dragon's Dogma
Roleplayer Contest winner - Fan Fiction Helpful! Hot Topic Starter 
Post [Fanfic] The Plight of Darkness

Hi,
This is my first fanfic thingy, so bare with me here, i'm still trying to figure things out. Let me know what you think of it! I'll post the first chapter in about two minutes.


My story takes place not long after the destruction of the Star Forge. Revan is male and he traveled down the path of the Light, saving Bastila at the end. My plan is to begin with Revan and Bastila in between the happenings of KOTOR and KOTOR II, then head on to what happens with the Exile and crew after KOTOR II. Probably heading into KOTOR III heheh. Well, here goes nothing....


ForceFightWMe12 is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 08-24-2005, 02:58 PM   #2
ForceFightWMe12
LFN Staff Emeritus
 
ForceFightWMe12's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Westeros
Posts: 2,691
Current Game: Dragon's Dogma
Roleplayer Contest winner - Fan Fiction Helpful! Hot Topic Starter 
Chapter One

Alright, here's the first chapter...



---Chapter One---


Revan woke with a start, bolting upright and hitting his head on the bunk above him. Letting a soft groan escape his lips, he rubbed the spot that was whacked. He tossed his legs over the edge of the bunk and put his head in his hands.
Why did this dream continue to plague him? Would he never escape it? He rubbed his eyes in exasperation. Ever since the destruction of the Star Forge…
“Revan?”
He looked up. Bastila stood in the doorway, leaning against the rounded frame, arms crossed over her chest.
“Are you alright?”
“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.” he responded.
“No, you’re not.”
Bastila was good at reading his emotions. Sometimes he thought she was too good.
“Was it the dream again?”
He nodded wordlessly.
She came over and sat down next to him, draping an arm over his shoulders and resting her head against his shoulder. He put his arm around her, holding her close. Those dreams were always so vivid…
“It’s alright, Revan. I’m here with you. Whatever comes, we shall do it together. They will never separate us.”
He held her closer.
“That’s what I’m afraid of.” Revan whispered.
She put a hand on his cheek, forcing him to look her in the eye, “Revan, fear is a weakness. We shall do what needs to be done. We shall do it together. That is all there is to it.”
He put a hand on her cheek, stroking her skin with loving tenderness. “Yes. Yes, we will. That’s all there is to it.”
She lay her head back down on his shoulder, and closed her eyes. Just to be in his presence was intoxicating. Sometimes it scared her. If anything should ever happen to him…she shivered and she felt his arm tighten around her. She didn’t want to think about it. They were together. That was all that mattered.
Revan sat, holding Bastila to him, breathing in her scent, stroking her skin, savoring the moment. If these dreams did in fact come true…he somehow knew that there wouldn’t be too many more of these quiet moments left.
“I love you, Bastila.” he whispered.
“And I love you.” she answered.

__________________________________________-

TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!!!!!!!



Last edited by ForceFightWMe12; 04-03-2006 at 04:20 PM.
ForceFightWMe12 is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 08-25-2005, 07:41 AM   #3
starmark2k
Someone's Worse Nightmare
 
starmark2k's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: DTC
Posts: 2,830
LFN Staff Member Roleplayer 
I Like the start it seems very Star waars esqe to me. I also like the idea of having a Aftermath story. I look forward to seeing your take on it.
starmark2k is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 08-25-2005, 11:37 AM   #4
ForceFightWMe12
LFN Staff Emeritus
 
ForceFightWMe12's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Westeros
Posts: 2,691
Current Game: Dragon's Dogma
Roleplayer Contest winner - Fan Fiction Helpful! Hot Topic Starter 
Chapter Two

Thanks, Starmark, glad you like it.
Now, just thought I should let you all know that I have a bit of trouble with spelling (heheh) so if there's anything misspelled, I would appreciate it if you would point it out. I know for a fact that there are a lot of misspelled names in this chapter, but I couldn't find the correct spelling, so I guessed. Heheh.

Oh and by the way, I saw that I had about...say...18 views or so. Yet...one reply. Hmmm...All I'm saying is if you have read it and so far like the story, then please, TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK. The more feedback, the quicker I'll update.

I also forgot to mention in my original post that I'm basing things on the way they happened in my game, lightsaber color, style, ect.

Now that I'm done rambling, I'll just get on with it....

__________________________________________________ ________

---Chapter Two---


The next morning, Revan sat in the pilot’s chair of the Ebon Hawk, head in hands. What was he going to do? Even with Bastila’s council, he couldn’t push the dream out of his mind. Every time he thought about it, a feeling of foreboding and fear fell over him. He couldn’t lose her…he wouldn’t lose her. Just thinking about what could happen made him feel sick. No, he would figure out what these dreams meant, then take care of it.
“Dweet dweet toood whaaaaaaaio!” T3 came rampaging in through the door at high speed, stopping only when he slammed into the co-pilot seat.
“What is it Tee-three?” Revan asked, standing.
“Dood eet breee bree breee!”
“Statement: Do not believe him, Master. He has gotten as bad as a meat-bag without his routine memory-wipes.”
“Ach-kay, come in here.” Revan said. Obediently, the assassin droid stalked into the cockpit.
“Query: You called, Master?”
“What were you doing that made Tee-three so upset?”
“Statement: I was only trying to make a repair to the little astromech.”
“DREEE DEET WHOOOT DEA!!” T3 whistled indignantly.
“Exclamation: Be quiet you pathetic drone! Get back to fixing your circuits!!”
“That’s enough, Ach-kay. Next time, ask him before you do something like that. I don’t want any accidents on this ship, understand?”
“Reluctant Acknowledgment: Yes, Master, I understand.”
“Good, now go about your duties, both of you.”
With that, the two droids walked and drove out of the cockpit.
What am I going to do with those two? Revan thought, sitting back down again.
“What was that about?”
Revan swiveled the chair to face the door. Bastila walked in and sat in the co-pilot seat, turning to face him.
“Apparently Ach-kay tried to ‘fix’ Tee-three and Tee-three didn’t like it. So he came careening in here.”
“I see.” Bastila said, staring out the front windshield. For the moment, they were drifting through the Dantooine sector. No course was plotted on the nav-computer and the auto-pilot was off. The engines were just barely humming, using only enough power to keep them stable. Other than that, they simply went along on the currents of the area.
“It’s so peaceful.” she said.
Revan nodded, watching the stars drift by as well. His arm was on the center break, and he leaned against it casually. He turned when Bastila took his hand.
“What will happen now?” she asked, still looking out.
“I…I don’t know. We’ll need to do our part to help rebuild the Republic, but…”
“Maybe we don’t need to do anything.” she was looking at him now, “Maybe we can just settle down somewhere, put up our lightsabers, and live the quiet life.”
Maybe they could. It would be so easy. Dantooine was open, they could easily go and live there. Or maybe somewhere in the Dxun jungles…
But no, he knew they couldn’t. They had to help the Republic.
“I wish we could.” he said, rubbing the back of her hand with his thumb, “I wish we could…”
They were quiet for a moment, just looking into the vastness of space.
Then, “Where do you think the others are right now?” Bastila asked.
“Well, Carth should be on Courescant, Jolee went back to Kashyyk, I think…Mission and Zaalbar went back to help with the restoration effort on Taris…I believe Canderous went to Dxun, I have no clue why…I’m not sure where Jahauni went…”
“I think she went back to Dantooine. She said something about ‘finishing her journey’ before she left.”
There was another silence between them, each with their own thoughts.
Revan broke the silence first, “Bastila?”
“Hmm?” she said, turning to face him.
“No matter where we go from here, what happens, what we must do, I want you here with me, at my side, the entire time.”
“I would have it no other way.” she whispered.
He looked into her eyes and could not deny the love and caring that poured from them as she looked into his. As if there were a magnet between them, they leaned in towards each other. Bastila watched as his lips came closer and closer to hers…
“Query: Master?”
Bastila and Revan darted apart, both looking out into the hallway.
“Erm…yes Ach-kay?” Revan said, mastering his embarrassment.
“Query: Was that some form of mating ritual I interrupted?”
Bastila snorted into her hand.
“No, it wasn’t.” Revan answered.
“Contradiction: But the image taken from my photo-sensors fit ninety-percent into a reference from my data-core of-”
“It was nothing. You never saw anything, understood, Ach-kay?”
“Statement: Crystal clear, Master.” the assassin droid immediately accessed his memory-core and wiped the last five minutes.
“Now then, why did you come here?”
“Hesitant Statement: I’m…not sure, Master. In compliance with your order, I deleted my memory of the past few moments. Thus, I have forgotten what I came here for.”
A second later, the comm. alert went off.
“Recollection: That was it, Master. Admiral Onasi of the Republic fleet wishes to speak with you.”
“Thanks for the heads-up.” Revan said sarcastically.
“Statement: Of course, Master. I am here to serve.”
“Good. Now you’re dismissed.”
Without a further word, HK gave a stiff would-be bow and backed out of the room.
As soon as he was sure they were alone, Revan hit the comm. button. A two-inch tall holo-projection of Carth popped up on the reader as the link was opened.
“This is Admiral Onasi broadcasting to the Ebon Hawk. Ebon Hawk, are you receiving?”
“This is Revan of the Ebon Hawk. We are receiving your transmition clearly, Admiral.”
The ‘greeting’ done, Carth dropped his professional act. “Revan, it is so good to hear you’re voice again.”
“As is yours, Carth.”
“Is Bastila still with you?”
“Indeed. I’m sorry to say that she is perfectly alright and is standing next to me right now.”
Carth chuckled and Bastila strode into the eye of the holo-reader.
“Hello, Carth.” she said, as she subtly hit Revan for his last crack. “How are you?”
“I’m perfectly fine. And how has this vagabond been treating you?” he asked, nodding in Revan’s direction.
“Excuse me-?” Revan began but Bastila continued over him.
“Oh, I’m fine, thank you.”
“So then, what has the Admiral doing?” Revan asked, rocking back and forth on his heels.
“Never getting a moments peace, is what. As you must have figured, the Republic is in terrible shape. They’ve kept me on my toes, having my ships and me run back and forth across the galaxy, delivering supplies to refugees and helping the restoration efforts in most places. And what about you? What has the Prodigal Knight and his lovely assistant been up to?”
“You know, going here and there, following the call of the Force.” Revan answered.
Carth turned around, looking and talking to someone out of the eye of the holo-reader. He turned back to them.
“I’m sorry to cut this conversation short, but I must go.”
“Of course, I’m sure that the Republic needs their most valuable Admiral.” Bastila said.
“Stay in touch?” Carth asked.
“Of course.” Revan answered.
“Right, well, I’ll be seeing you. Admiral Onasi, out.”
As the connection broke, the holo-image of the man flickered and went out.
“Most valuable Admiral? And what am I? Bantha fodder?” Revan asked, turning to Bastila.
“Sorry,” she said crossing to him and tracing a finger along his chest, a smile on her face, “But I couldn’t very well let you have all the fun.”
He grabbed her wrist, pulling her closer to him. He looked into her eyes, a smile winding its way across his own lips, “Of course. But I'm afraid I'll have the last laugh."
“Really?” she said, draping her arms around his neck.
Without responding Revan leaned in and brushed his lips against hers. She put her hand on the back of his neck, pulling him closer, and into a long, passionate kiss.
At that moment, HK was coming into the cockpit. When he saw the two entangled in their passion for each other, he turned on his heel and walked right back out.
“Statement: I’m really going to have to adjust my behavioral-core…” he mumbled as he did so.




Last edited by ForceFightWMe12; 04-03-2006 at 04:21 PM.
ForceFightWMe12 is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 08-25-2005, 01:36 PM   #5
Hallucination
Baron von Sexy
 
Hallucination's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 3,875
Current Game: HKO closed beta
You're the best writer here at lucasforums. Keep the chapters coming. BTW It took me a while to find out that Ach-Kay meant HK.


Let's kill ourselves.
Hallucination is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 08-25-2005, 10:20 PM   #6
Snafu7
Purvayer of Truthiness
 
Snafu7's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: USA
Posts: 1,210
Great Job ForceFight, so far it's great, I eagerly await the next chapter.
Snafu7 is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 08-26-2005, 12:14 PM   #7
ForceFightWMe12
LFN Staff Emeritus
 
ForceFightWMe12's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Westeros
Posts: 2,691
Current Game: Dragon's Dogma
Roleplayer Contest winner - Fan Fiction Helpful! Hot Topic Starter 
---Chapter Three---

Hey all,
Thanks, I'm glad you all like it. Yeah, I tried to figure out how to transfer 'H' to different letters, and it didn't quite work. Heheh. So, yeah. Well, this is going to be the last chapter dealing with Revan for a while. Heheh. We'll be moving on to the Exile after this chapter, in case any of you really cared.

Well c'mon people, don't be shy, just write a response and tell me what you think!!!!!!!

__________________________________________________ _____________

---Chapter Three---


Darkness surrounded Revan. He could see nothing. There was no sound, no light; no sign of life at all. Yet, he could sense something through the Force…a central pivotal point where Force currents swirled round and round in a cyclone. He closed his eyes and settled into a trance. He watched as grey currents of Force turned a bright blue as they swirled around him. However, he could see that farther ahead, the grey was tinted pink. As it progressed, the currents turned a deeper and deeper red as they reached the pivotal point. Taking a mental note on the direction, Revan slipped out of the trance and followed the Force currents to the source of the cyclone. As he walked, a light appeared on the edge of his vision. He ran, using the Force to separate the air and lend speed to his feet.
As he came up on the light, he slowed down. The Dark Side aura was powerful here. Almost over powering. Much stronger than it was even on the Star Forge when he faced Malak.
The pivotal point was four figures, dressed in large, billowy black robes. However, inside that circle of Darkness was a Light. A small but strong blue spot in the center of the red. The Light aura was familiar…
“Bastila!” he shouted, running again.
The four figures turned towards him as he approached, roused by his shout.
“Revan!” the fifth figure said. The voice was defiantly Bastila’s, but weak, if overjoyed.
“Who are you?” Revan asked, this time addressing the four other figures.
“We are the Ones Forgotten. They have stolen Our name, but they are not Us. They believe they are the Originals, but they are not. We are. We are the True enemy.” four voices spoke in unison. The sound of them sent shivers down his spine. But more importantly, they held Bastila prisoner.
“Release her!”
“Never. Come to Us, Prodigal Knight. Come to Us. You’re Fate lies not among the Light as does this pitiful follower. No, You belong with Us. Come to Us, unleash your full Power. For We are the True ones of Power. We know what you need. We know how to give It to you.”
“No, I will not follow you, I will not be swayed.” Revan said.
“Very well then, in your decision, you have forfeited her life.” Simultaneously, four pillars of molten fire ignited in the hands of the figures with a hiss. They stepped towards Bastila.
“NO!!!!!” Revan bellowed, igniting his own double blades of crystalline blue. Revan ran, yet he barely moved.
“REVAN!” Bastila screamed.
The figures neared.
He used the Force to lend speed to his flight, yet he could still barely move.
Bastila tried to run to him, but she was slowed just as he was.
The four figures raised their lightsabers.
They struck down.
There was a sizzling, hissing sound and the scent of burned flesh.
Bastila fell to the ground.
“NO!” Revan yelled, stopping in his tracks. “No…” he fell to his knees.


Revan started as he woke up.
He was breathing heavily and his face was slick with sweat.
He looked around and saw Bastila, still in his arms. She was still asleep, still breathing. Still alive.
Her head lay on his chest, and he stroked the side of her face.
“Savior, conqueror, hero, villain. You are all of these things, Revan... and yet you are nothing. In the end, you belong to neither the light nor the darkness. You will forever stand alone.”
Revan shivered as Malak’s words came to him.
Those god d*mned dreams would never leave him alone.
He no longer wanted to sleep, for fear of what it would bring. Yet, each night he was forced to relive that horror.
He refused to believe that that would ever happen. Bastila would never die. He would not allow it. He would die to save her, if the need arose.
Then an idea came to him. There was still one…one last person that could help him…another Master…she could help him…she could have the answers, with all the Sith holocrons she had…
But he knew that as soon as he enlisted her help, he would have to leave the galaxy. He had to find who these ‘Ones Forgotten’ were.
He also knew that...he would need to go alone. Without Bastila. He couldn’t risk her safety…

When Bastila woke, Revan wasn’t beside her. And the ship was moving. Confused, she got up and headed to the cockpit.
Sure enough, Revan sat in the pilot seat, adjusting and maneuvering the controls. The surface of Corescant loomed closer and closer in the front veiwscreen.
“Revan?”
He didn’t turn to face her. “We’re running low on supplies.” was all he said.
“Something’s bothering you.” she said, sensing the dark cloud of worry and regret around him.
“No, I’m fine.” his voice was empty and emotionless.
Deciding to leave it be for the moment, Bastila sat down in the co-pilot seat.
“Where are we landing?”
“The Jedi Temple.” he said as they entered the atmosphere.

As the pistons on the landing gears fired and the ship lurched to a halt, Revan sat back. How was he going to ask Bastila to stay behind?
Bastila flipped a switch and Revan heard a humming as the loading ramp was lowered to the dock.
She stood and began to walk out.
Revan took a deep breath. He stood as well, grabbing her upper arm. Before his courage failed him, he said, “Bastila, I need to ask you to do something.”
“Anything for you.” she said, a smile crossing her lips. She thought this was a joke.
He took another deep breath, letting it out slowly, “I…I need you to stay behind.”
The smile faded instantly from Bastila’s face. “W-what?”
“I think I know what these dreams are about…and I need to set things right. But, I can’t let you come with me.”
“But Revan-”
“Please, don’t argue with me. This is hard enough already.” he said, and sure enough, Bastila could see tears glistening in his eyes.
“No…no, Revan, please! You said that you wanted me with you-”
“Everywhere but here. I’m sorry, Bastila. Tearing out my heart and feeding it to a Kryat Dragon would be less painful than parting with you, but it is for you’re safety. I’ve told you about my dreams, we both know how they end. If that were to really happen…” his voice faltered.
Bastila put a hand to his cheek. “Revan…”
“Just this once, Bastila. Please.” Tears poured freely from his eyes.
She could feel her own eyes watering.
She pulled him towards her and kissed him. Her own tears mixed with his.
When they broke away, she leaned on his chest, tears staining his robes. “I never want to be apart.” she whispered.
He enveloped her in his strong arms, “Neither do I. But, please, just this once. I beg of you, stay behind. If you die, then I will have no reason to live. What’s the use of being a Jedi, being Savior of the Galaxy, without you?”
“Oh, but Revan, I would surely die if we were apart.”
“I’m sorry, but it needs to be done. And I need to do it alone.”
Bastila looked at him through her tears. She backed out of his arms, stubbornly brushing the tears from her eyes. I am a Jedi, I am above this. she thought to herself, but she knew that she would never be able to be strong without him.
“Very well, then. Though it tears my heart in two, I…I will stay here.” she said. Even the words brought a fresh wave of tears to her eyes, but she bravely held them at bay.
“Thank you, Bastila. Thank you. I will return as quickly as I can.”
“It will never be soon enough.” she whispered.




Last edited by ForceFightWMe12; 04-03-2006 at 04:25 PM.
ForceFightWMe12 is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 08-26-2005, 06:32 PM   #8
Snafu7
Purvayer of Truthiness
 
Snafu7's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: USA
Posts: 1,210
another great addition to the story, keep up the good work.
Snafu7 is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 08-26-2005, 06:43 PM   #9
Hallucination
Baron von Sexy
 
Hallucination's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 3,875
Current Game: HKO closed beta
More brilliance from the.. um brilliant? Keep up the great work!


Let's kill ourselves.
Hallucination is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 08-28-2005, 10:39 AM   #10
starmark2k
Someone's Worse Nightmare
 
starmark2k's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: DTC
Posts: 2,830
LFN Staff Member Roleplayer 
This is really good you have captured the Characters perfectly... i eagerly await the rest.
starmark2k is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 08-28-2005, 03:14 PM   #11
ForceFightWMe12
LFN Staff Emeritus
 
ForceFightWMe12's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Westeros
Posts: 2,691
Current Game: Dragon's Dogma
Roleplayer Contest winner - Fan Fiction Helpful! Hot Topic Starter 
Thanks everyone, I'm glad you like it so far. I'm glad I'm thought of as 'brilliant' and I do my best to make the characters as life-like as possible. Glad you find my story entertaining.

As I said, that will be the last chapter with Revan for a while. I'm not quiet sure when I'll be reintroducing him, but he will come back, don't you worry.

For now, I'm going to be switching into the future with the Exile and others. As I did with Revan, I'm going to have details the way I had them when I played through the game.

In other words, the Exile is male, followed the Light path, and weilds a blue double-bladed saberstaff. I'll call him Elron as his name is in my game in order to avoid confusion and just make the story flow better as well as make things easier for me.

Handmaiden, who I will call by her real name: Briana, has become the Exile's apprentice in the ways of the Force. We have yet to see if any others will become his apprentices as well.

For the 'romance' part of the plot, the Exile is bouncing between Briana, Visas, as well as Mira. For the moment, he has shown some...overdo attention to Briana and Visas. The two...aren't exactly on good terms, as usual.

I think thats about it for now. I'll update soon!


ForceFightWMe12 is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 08-29-2005, 09:09 AM   #12
ForceFightWMe12
LFN Staff Emeritus
 
ForceFightWMe12's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Westeros
Posts: 2,691
Current Game: Dragon's Dogma
Roleplayer Contest winner - Fan Fiction Helpful! Hot Topic Starter 
Chapter Four

Alright everybody, here's the next chapter...

Read and tell me what you think! I know its a little short, but...

__________________________________________________ __________
---Chapter Four---


l-l Years Later l-l

Just…if you find him, tell him that Admiral Onasi is doing his job.
“Well, he isn’t here.” Elron mumbled to himself as he stumbled up the loading ramp into the Ebon Hawk. Not even given time to steady himself, he flew backwards as Atton hit the Hyperdrive. As he slumped to the floor, he didn’t even have the strength to stand.
He coughed and tasted blood on his lips. His fight with Kreia was…less than enjoyable. And the fact that she had used to be his teacher didn’t help things.
He looked up as he heard running footsteps.
“Elron!!” Briana came skidding around the corner to kneel next to him, quickly followed by Visas.
A trickle of blood leaked from the Handmaiden's forehead and Visas had a sizeable bruise on her cheek.
“What…What happened to you guys?” Elron asked.
“Nothing compared to what happened to you.” Briana answered, “Help me bring him to the med-bay.” she said to Visas.
The Miraluka put one of Elron’s arms over her shoulder as the Echani pulled his other arm over hers.
Together, they pulled Elron up and into the med-bay, where he lay on the table, just thankful for the rest.
He was only semi-conscious as sections of his armor were pulled off and minor wounds were treated. However, a sedative was administered to him soon after, and welcome blackness enveloped him…

“How is he?” Atton’s voice echoed.
“A watched pot never boils.” Briana’s voice answered.
“Indeed. The Exile is still deeply wounded. It may take a while until he stirs.” Visas’s voice agreed.
“So then, Atton, exactly where are we?” Mira’s voice asked.
“On the outskirts of Naar Shadaa. We really don’t have anywhere to go until Elron wakes up and decides what he wants to do.”
“Query: Is the meatbag – I mean, Master, awake yet?”
“No Ach-kay, now go clean your rifle or something.” Atton answered.
“Indignant Response: Well, sorry for interrupting, I was only fearing for the Master’s health.”
“Just go.”
Footsteps could be heard as some of the others left.
“Hey, Handmaiden.” Atton’s voice sounded again.
“What is it?”
“Just…remember what I said about this not being a pleasure yacht, okay? I have a camera in the security station that pans this room. I’ll be able to see you.”
“You know nothing of which you speak!” Briana said angrily.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just remember, I’m watching you.”
“Ingrate.”
“Schutta.”
Beyond that, Elron knew nothing…


Elron blinked, trying to clear his blurry vision. When he was able to see, he looked around and spotted Briana near by, ticking away at a keyboard.
He tried to move but the effort sent pain shocking through his entire body.
“Urgh…” he moaned, clutching the bed sheets in his hand.
His vision blurred again but he saw Briana turn around and come over to him.
“Elron! You’re awake. Thank the gods.” she said passionately.
“How long have I been out?” he asked through gritted teeth.
“Five days.”
“Five days?!?” Elron immediately tried to get up again, but Briana grabbed his shoulders and pushed him back onto the bed.
“No, don’t move. You’re not strong enough.”
“Please, I don’t want to be out any longer than I have to-”
“Elron.” Briana said warningly.
“Alright, alright, no need to freak out.” he said, allowing her to push him back down.
He sat quietly and watched as she changed one of the bandages on his arm.
“Where are we?”
“Atton’s keeping us around the outer edge of the Naar Shadaa system. We’ve been waiting for you to wake up before deciding what to do next.” Briana said as she tied off the bandage.
“Hmm…” Elron said, nodding. The effort made him light headed.
“You really should get some sleep.” she said.
“C’mon, I’ve been sleeping for five days straight. I think I’ve rested enough.”
She smiled and left his side, turning back to rap on the keyboard some more, saying nothing.
He sighed and stared at the ceiling.
“What will happen now?” she asked quietly, her voice barely louder than a whisper. Her back was still to him.
“Hmm?” the Exile lifted his head and looked at her.
“Our foes have been defeated in battle. The Council lies dead. Our trials are complete. Where do we go from here? What have we yet to accomplish?” she said, her voice slightly stronger this time.
“I…I don’t know.” Elron sat thinking for a while before he said, “We’ll have to follow the Admiral’s wishes.”
Now the Handmaiden turned to look at him. “Wishes?”
“Yes, before we left for…that place,” he said, not trusting himself to say the name of the world that he had just destroyed. For a second time. “I met with Admiral Onasi of the Republic. He asked…” his voice faltered as a fresh wave of pain shot through his body, “He asked me, that if I ever found Revan, to tell him that the Admiral is doing his job. While it seems as lowly a request as any, there’s something hidden behind his words.
“There was another there with him. While…she was not in the room, I could feel her presence as strongly as if she were standing right next to me. And the longing.”
She?” Briana asked, sitting on the edge of his bed.
“Yes. I remember sensing that presence before…it echoed though me like a half-forgotten dream. But it was her, I’m sure of it. It was Bastila Shan.”
The Bastila Shan? The very one who saved and traveled with Revan?”
“The very one. She was there, in the next room, and I could feel her pain, her longing, and…her fear. She misses Revan dearly. I dare to say that she loved him.”
“Loved him? But love is a feeling that Jedi are supposed to be above. They should be immune to feelings of the heart.”
“Aye, they should, but,” he looked into her eyes, “sometimes, it cannot be stopped. You have seen it many times. Your mother, for example. She was one of the strongest Jedi of her time, yet she could not resist her feelings for your father. The very same with…even Atris…” he looked away, his eyes downcast.
“I’m sorry, I should not have opened old wounds.” she said, and began to get up.
“No, no, don’t. It’s alright, I’m fine.” he said, reaching out and grabbing her upper arm.
She sat back down, and after a short silence, she asked, “Where do you think he went? If Bastila apparently loved him so deeply that you could sense her emotions as you did, then it would stand to reason that perhaps he too had feelings for her. What could tear them apart? Especially after the battles and trials that they had been through?”
“I can’t be sure…without knowing what had transpired and where…they…had gone…” Elron’s face suddenly lit, up. “That’s it!”
“What?”
“The nav-computer! If we can somehow get through and break the voice-lock, then maybe we can figure out where Revan had gone before he disappeared!”
“It could work…but it’s as voice-print lock. That won’t be easy to bypass.”
“Ach-kay…Ach-kay can play back voices that he’s heard before. If we can somehow restore his memory-core, then maybe he can use his recordings of Revan’s voice to repeat the code, there by unlocking the navi-computer!” Elron said, a smile tugging at his lips at his new-found genius.
The ghost of a smile flickered across Handmaiden’s face, “Perhaps. But for now, you need to rest.” she said, got up and left.
Watching after her, Elron steeled himself for a few, long days of lying on his back and doing absolutely nothing.




Last edited by ForceFightWMe12; 04-03-2006 at 04:26 PM.
ForceFightWMe12 is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 08-30-2005, 06:35 AM   #13
RC-1162
Liquidious Fleshbag
 
RC-1162's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 3,447
Current Game: SW:TOR
Forum Veteran Contest winner - Fan Fiction Helpful! 
yeah right short! check mine out, its shorter than this and i must say, your story is great. i only suggest that you get the spellings of the planets correct
Coruscant
Nar Shadda


Duct Tape is ALWAYS the answer
RC-1162 is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 08-30-2005, 09:35 AM   #14
ForceFightWMe12
LFN Staff Emeritus
 
ForceFightWMe12's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Westeros
Posts: 2,691
Current Game: Dragon's Dogma
Roleplayer Contest winner - Fan Fiction Helpful! Hot Topic Starter 
Lol, well, its shorter I guess you could say.

Thanks, i was having some trouble finding the correct spellings, so I guessed.

Glad you like it!


ForceFightWMe12 is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 08-30-2005, 11:39 AM   #15
Hallucination
Baron von Sexy
 
Hallucination's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 3,875
Current Game: HKO closed beta
Even more brilliance from you.. damn I had a good one.. I'll post it later. Oh yeah, you should change your name to ForceTypesWMe12 keep up the great work.


Let's kill ourselves.
Hallucination is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 08-30-2005, 05:50 PM   #16
ForceFightWMe12
LFN Staff Emeritus
 
ForceFightWMe12's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Westeros
Posts: 2,691
Current Game: Dragon's Dogma
Roleplayer Contest winner - Fan Fiction Helpful! Hot Topic Starter 
Lol, thats a good one. I think I'll stick with Fight though.

Thanks, I'm glad you like it. I should be updating...soon. Not quiet sure when yet...


ForceFightWMe12 is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 08-30-2005, 08:57 PM   #17
DarthSion101
Junior Member
 
DarthSion101's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Imperial Palace, Coruscant
Posts: 461
Hot Topic Starter Contest winner - Fan Fiction 
Nice story....Revans dream...is awesomely twisted and dark. 2 thumbs way up!!!!!!!!!


"Have you come here for answers? There are none. The call of Korriban is strong, but it is the call of the dead. It is fitting you came here."

"The failure is yours, no longer does your voice whisper within my skull, no longer do I suffer beneath teachings that weaken us, and now you run in search of the Jedi. They are all dead....save one, and one broken Jedi cannot stop the darkness that is to come."
DarthSion101 is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 08-30-2005, 09:53 PM   #18
ForceFightWMe12
LFN Staff Emeritus
 
ForceFightWMe12's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Westeros
Posts: 2,691
Current Game: Dragon's Dogma
Roleplayer Contest winner - Fan Fiction Helpful! Hot Topic Starter 
Thanx, glad you like it. I tried to make it dark, so hearing that from a Dark Lord is great. Lol. I should be updating...eventually, but I'm having a bit of writter's block...heheh...


ForceFightWMe12 is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 08-30-2005, 10:43 PM   #19
Hallucination
Baron von Sexy
 
Hallucination's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 3,875
Current Game: HKO closed beta
Two thumbs up is nothing, it deserves 3 thumbs!


Let's kill ourselves.
Hallucination is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 08-30-2005, 11:15 PM   #20
ForceFightWMe12
LFN Staff Emeritus
 
ForceFightWMe12's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Westeros
Posts: 2,691
Current Game: Dragon's Dogma
Roleplayer Contest winner - Fan Fiction Helpful! Hot Topic Starter 
lol, you're all too kind

i swear i'll update soon


ForceFightWMe12 is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 09-02-2005, 12:03 PM   #21
ForceFightWMe12
LFN Staff Emeritus
 
ForceFightWMe12's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Westeros
Posts: 2,691
Current Game: Dragon's Dogma
Roleplayer Contest winner - Fan Fiction Helpful! Hot Topic Starter 
---Chapter Five---

Hey all,
Sorry it's taken me so long to update and this chapter's pretty short, but I've been busy (School's starting again, noooooo) and i also currently have writter's block (d*amn), so I'm not exactly happy with this chapter, but it'll have to do for now i guess...
I'm going to stop babbling now...

__________________________________________________ _____-

---Chapter Five---


After days of lying on that table in the med-bay, Elron refused to stay down any longer. He had regained the use of his limbs without having spasms of pain, and so found that he was fine.
As a result, he quickly began work on restoring Ach-kay’s memory, with help from Bao-Dur and Tee-three.

“How have the repairs been going?” Briana asked as she sat down next to the Exile with a tray of food in her hand.
“Well…I wouldn’t say they were going bad …”
“But not too productive?” the Handmaiden finished.
“Yeah, pretty much. We’ve discovered an unknown program in his core, but we can’t figure out what it is or what it does.”
“Statement: Pardon me, Master, but I recall that the Astromech droid was with me as well during that time period.” HK said from the corner that he was currently standing in, T3 zooming around his feet.
“Yeah, that’s exactly why Tee-three is helping us restore you.”
“Explanation: No, Master, what I mean is: Perhaps the little droid has something to do with the lock-down of the navi-computer. Perhaps he has the means to open it.”
“Dwooo….” T3 stopped darting around.
“Tee-three?” Elron asked, turning towards the astromech.
“Dweet…dwee doodle doot.” it whistled haltingly.
“Do you?”
“…Dweee…” it said hesitantly.
“Tee-three, I need you to tell me.”
Not responding, the little droid left the room.
A look passed between master and apprentice before they got up and followed T3. They found him standing in front of the navi-computer, accessing the lock.
“Voiceprint: Are three, one five.” the voice of Revan floated out of a speaker in T3’s frame.
There was a beep, a click, and another beep before a map expanded from the navi-computer.
“He unlocked it…” Briana said.
“He did…” Elron said. Staring at the navi-computer for a moment, he then went to the galaxy-map and programmed a course for Telos.
“Hold on everyone!” he said as he punched in the hyper-space coordinates and they shot away into space like an arrow from a bow.

“We need to see Admiral Onasi.” the Exile said to the docking authority on the Station, “Immediately.”
“Who should we address you as?”
“Tell him that the Exile has some information for him.”
“Right away, sir.”

An hour later, Carth Onasi stood before them.
“Yes, Exile?” he asked.
“Remember how you asked me to find Revan?”
He didn’t need to say any more as a look of hope and excitement spread across the Admiral’s face.
“Show me.”




Last edited by ForceFightWMe12; 04-03-2006 at 04:27 PM.
ForceFightWMe12 is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 09-02-2005, 02:08 PM   #22
MdKnightR
Senior Member
 
MdKnightR's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Feeling Hosed By Your Governme
Posts: 1,859
This is really a great story! And you are still in school? Amazing! Or are you a college student? It is unfortunate that you had to cut your last chapter so short. I really didn't notice how short until the last 2 paragraphs. Please keep them coming! This is some of the best fan fiction I have ever read, Star Wars or otherwise!

Anyway, I believe that Brianna is spelled with 2 "n"s and (Nar) Shaddaa with 2 "d"s and 3 "a"s.

MdKnightR is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 09-02-2005, 02:18 PM   #23
ForceFightWMe12
LFN Staff Emeritus
 
ForceFightWMe12's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Westeros
Posts: 2,691
Current Game: Dragon's Dogma
Roleplayer Contest winner - Fan Fiction Helpful! Hot Topic Starter 
Thanks, I have a lot of trouble with spelling. Heheh.

Actually, I'm heading into the 8th grade. Still a little while until college, lol.

Thanks, I'm glad you like it so much. I've got a bit of writter's block at the moment (dun dun duuunn) so that's another reason why I had to cut it short.

I should be updating...eventually...


ForceFightWMe12 is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 09-02-2005, 05:17 PM   #24
Hallucination
Baron von Sexy
 
Hallucination's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 3,875
Current Game: HKO closed beta
Even more brilliance. Keep up the great work. So your in grade 8? Man I'm glad I just got out of there.


Let's kill ourselves.
Hallucination is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 09-02-2005, 05:19 PM   #25
ForceFightWMe12
LFN Staff Emeritus
 
ForceFightWMe12's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Westeros
Posts: 2,691
Current Game: Dragon's Dogma
Roleplayer Contest winner - Fan Fiction Helpful! Hot Topic Starter 
Thanks, glad you like it. I didn't. heheh.

I'm 13 actually...


ForceFightWMe12 is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 09-03-2005, 04:32 AM   #26
MdKnightR
Senior Member
 
MdKnightR's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Feeling Hosed By Your Governme
Posts: 1,859
You write better than most people twice your age! Keep up the good work!

MdKnightR is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 09-03-2005, 09:48 AM   #27
ForceFightWMe12
LFN Staff Emeritus
 
ForceFightWMe12's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Westeros
Posts: 2,691
Current Game: Dragon's Dogma
Roleplayer Contest winner - Fan Fiction Helpful! Hot Topic Starter 
Thanks!


ForceFightWMe12 is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 09-04-2005, 02:41 PM   #28
RC-1162
Liquidious Fleshbag
 
RC-1162's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 3,447
Current Game: SW:TOR
Forum Veteran Contest winner - Fan Fiction Helpful! 
damn. youre great, im in the eight grade too but my story comes nowhere closer to yours in terms of class and style. Great work!


Duct Tape is ALWAYS the answer
RC-1162 is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 09-04-2005, 09:48 PM   #29
ForceFightWMe12
LFN Staff Emeritus
 
ForceFightWMe12's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Westeros
Posts: 2,691
Current Game: Dragon's Dogma
Roleplayer Contest winner - Fan Fiction Helpful! Hot Topic Starter 
---Chapter Six---

Thanks, Yuuzhan, I'm glad you like it so much.

Again, I'm sorry, but I've had to cut this chapter a little short as well.

Now then, on we go!

__________________________________________________ __________

---Chapter Six---

“Alright, let’s see…” the Exile said, beginning to scan through the nav’s history. “We have…the Star Forge System…Dantooine…Kashyyk…Taris…Dxun…”
“That must be when he was dropping the rest of the crew off.” Carth said, watching the planets scan by.
“Then we’ve got…Nar Shaddaa…Onderon…Dantooine…Courescant…and…” they watched with bated breath as the last entry in the nav. computer scrolled into view, “…the Star Forge System. Again.”
“But then how did the Republic cruiser pick it up? It was out by the Peragus station.” Carth asked.
“I know, that just doesn’t add up…” Elron said.
“Excuse me.” Brianna said, pushing between them and pulling up the full galaxy map. Several planets popped into life as pulsing dots of light. She hit another button and a red line grew between the different pulsing lights like a connect-the-dots.
“There.” she said.
“Oh…” Elron said, surprised that he hadn’t thought of it.
“Wait a second.” Atton said, “There’s the Star Forge System,” he said, pointing to a light, “there’s Dantooine, Kashyyk, Taris, Dxun, Nar Shaddaa, Onderon, Dantooine, Courescant, and then his second visit to the Star Forge System. But then, look at this.” he said, tracing a finger along a final red line that lead to another point of light outside the system.
“What is that?” Visas asked.
“Good question,” the Exile answered, pinpointing and enlarging the area.
“It’s a planet!” Carth exclaimed.
“Aye…but why didn’t it come up in the Nav-computer?” the Exile said.
“Who knows, but I bet you we’ll find something there.” Carth said, “Can I use your comm.?”
“Sure…” Elron said, still scanning the map.
The Admiral activated the comm. punching in a few numbers.
“Bastila, we’ve got a clue.”




Last edited by ForceFightWMe12; 04-03-2006 at 04:27 PM.
ForceFightWMe12 is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 09-05-2005, 12:21 AM   #30
MdKnightR
Senior Member
 
MdKnightR's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Feeling Hosed By Your Governme
Posts: 1,859
Short and sweet, but good. Allow me to request something...if you are having writer's block, please take your time. Even though I am quite anxious to read each new installment, I would rather wait if it means longer chapters. Keep up the good work!

Oh, and by the way, Kashyyyk is spelled with 3 "y"s.

MdKnightR is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 09-05-2005, 10:11 AM   #31
ForceFightWMe12
LFN Staff Emeritus
 
ForceFightWMe12's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Westeros
Posts: 2,691
Current Game: Dragon's Dogma
Roleplayer Contest winner - Fan Fiction Helpful! Hot Topic Starter 
I knew I was spelling one of them wrong!! Thanks for pointing that out.

Sure, I guess I could do that. But, as you pointed out, it may take a while longer...

Well, I'm glad you like it!


ForceFightWMe12 is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 09-05-2005, 02:19 PM   #32
RC-1162
Liquidious Fleshbag
 
RC-1162's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 3,447
Current Game: SW:TOR
Forum Veteran Contest winner - Fan Fiction Helpful! 
Good one again, it would be better if it was longer as knight said.
spelling help:
Coruscant


Duct Tape is ALWAYS the answer
RC-1162 is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 09-12-2005, 06:50 PM   #33
ForceFightWMe12
LFN Staff Emeritus
 
ForceFightWMe12's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Westeros
Posts: 2,691
Current Game: Dragon's Dogma
Roleplayer Contest winner - Fan Fiction Helpful! Hot Topic Starter 
---Chapter Seven---

Thanks for the help everyone! As promised, her is a longer chapter...

__________________________________________________ ______

---Chapter Seven---

As the Jedi joined them, Carth and Atton punched in new hyperspace coordinates, and the ship shot away

“So tell me, Carth, what have you found?” Bastila asked as the Admiral handed the controls over to Atton.
“It actually wasn’t me who found it, it was the Exile.” Carth said, pointing over to Elron who was still studying the holo-image of the unknown planet.
Bastila walked over, standing next to Elron. “Any ideas?” she asked.
“None. I’ve never seen this planet before…I didn’t even know it existed…” the Exile’s voice faded into silence.
“Do you think he’s there?” Bastila said, her voice faltering and tears threatening to fall.
“It’s…hard to say…this is the last entry in the charts…but I have no idea. I would think so…”
“Well,” Carth said, joining them, “We’ll find out when we get there, won’t we?”

A few hours later, Elron and Briana sat meditating in the cargo hold. Slowly, Elron stood.
“Are you ready?”
“As ready as I’ll ever be.” the Handmaiden said, whipping out her pike.
“Right.” Elron said, hefting a double-bladed Echani foil.
They both slid into a fighting stance, each watching the other for a movement that would betray their next move.
Elron decided to take the offensive. He leaped forward, swinging down. As his apprentice lowered her pike to ward off the attack, Elron quickly switched his grip, pulling the blade up, and it passed just under her chin as she jumped back. Elron spun into a kneel, swinging his blades across, aiming for her legs, but she nimbly jumped the seeking edge, flipping her pike and forcing the point downward as she came back down to the deck. Elron rolled out of the way, landing in a crouch. His legs firing like pistons, he again leapt at her, blade held high. He struck at her left, then her right, brought the blade up, then back down again, swept across her middle, kicked out at her, and slammed his blade down hard.
However, each attack was blocked or dodged by the Echani warrior. He flung yet another blow at her, but she blocked it yet again. However, this time their blades caught in mid-air, and neither gave way. Each pushed against the other, locked in a contest of strength, trying to force the other’s blade down.
Then, the Handmaiden used a Force-push, blowing Elron away a few paces, but he stopped himself before going too far. But, he stopped within range of her pike. She whipped the other end of the pike up, landing a vicious blow to Elron’s right cheek, drawing blood. The force of the hit knocked Elron to the floor. As Briana, brought her pike up to finish the duel, Elron rolled away, rolled back, knocked her legs out from under her, and rested a dull edge of a blade at her throat.
Breathing rather heavily, she acknowledged the defeat, and Elron extended a hand, helping her to her feet.
“Thanks.” she said as she fought to catch her breath.
“Good fight. You’re getting better.” Elron said, setting the Echani foil against the wall.
Just then, they exited hyperspace.
There was a jolt and Briana lost her balance. Before she hit the ground, Elron caught her, and they ended up in a rather…awkward position.
“Thanks again…” she said with a smile.
“No problem.” he said, returning her grin.
“Ahem…”
Elron looked up to see Visas standing in the doorway. Her eyes were narrowed in…was it jealousy?...at the lack of space between apprentice and master. Elron hastily stood, helping Briana to stand again.
“If I could…interrupt you for a moment, Master, we have reached our destination.” she said.
“Right…thank you, Visas.” he said, and she walked away, him following. He paused before leaving the room, turning back to Briana. He opened his mouth to say something, but his courage faltered, and he said, “Coming?”
“Of course, master.” she said, securing her lightsaber to her belt.

The planet was a misty, dark, swamp and forest filled piece of space rock that appeared uninhabited. Animals ran through the foliage, dancing on the edge of vision, before disappearing again. Screeches and squawks echoed and bounced around the clearing that the Ebon Hawk had set down in.
“Oooookay, this has to be just about the creepiest place that I’ve ever been. I doubt that even Voga’s restroom is scarier than this place.” Mira said as she surveyed the area.
“Looks deserted to me.” Atton said.
“I saw a building as we came down.” Bastila said as she stepped off the loading ramp.
“As did I.” said Bao-Dur, “If I’m not mistaken, it’s further north of here.”
“Well, I guess that would be a good place to start.” Carth said, pulling a blaster from his holster, “If its one thing that I learned while traveling with Revan, it’s that you never want to go unprepared.” he said at the others incredulous looks.

They began to trudge through the foliage, cutting away underbrush, branches, and vines as they went along.
A shiver went down Elron’s spine as they marched.
“Elron,” Briana asked, “are you alright?”
“Yeah, I’m fine…it’s just…this place brings back some bad memories. It’s too much like…”
“Dxun.” the Handmaiden finished, remembering her master’s reaction to being on the surface of the moon.
On the moon itself, Elron had been able to distract himself by concentrating on the tasks at hand…but this place…there was something about it. He just couldn’t push that battle of years passed out of his mind.
Every time he heard a branch break or a bush rustle, he would whip around, drawing his lightsaber. A Mandalorian visor would flash before his eyes for a split second, then he would realize that it was just an animal.

“It’s just ahead.” Bastila said from the front of their little procession, cutting away a layer of vines from their path with her yellow lightsaber.
As they stepped through the new opening, light pressed against their eyes.
They entered a clearing where the trees had been cut away, and a large pillar of light shone in the center.
Elron blinked several times, allowing his eyes to adjust to the sudden light compared to the dark that he and his companions had traveled through for the past couple of hours. As his eyes focused, the beam of light began to define itself. Stone and walls began to form out of the light, casting dark shadows on the ground behind it. Steps, levels, turrets, and battlements took shape from the yellow brick.
Before them, stood what appeared to be an ancient academy. And atop the highest battlement, looking down at them, was a black figure.




Last edited by ForceFightWMe12; 04-03-2006 at 04:28 PM.
ForceFightWMe12 is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 09-12-2005, 07:18 PM   #34
Snafu7
Purvayer of Truthiness
 
Snafu7's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: USA
Posts: 1,210
Another Great chapter, good job.
Snafu7 is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 09-12-2005, 08:57 PM   #35
ForceFightWMe12
LFN Staff Emeritus
 
ForceFightWMe12's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Westeros
Posts: 2,691
Current Game: Dragon's Dogma
Roleplayer Contest winner - Fan Fiction Helpful! Hot Topic Starter 
Thanks, Snafu, glad you like it!


ForceFightWMe12 is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 09-12-2005, 09:33 PM   #36
Snafu7
Purvayer of Truthiness
 
Snafu7's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: USA
Posts: 1,210
Yah, it's a great story, I almost jumped out of my chair, when I saw you posted in this thread
Snafu7 is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 09-12-2005, 09:53 PM   #37
ForceFightWMe12
LFN Staff Emeritus
 
ForceFightWMe12's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Westeros
Posts: 2,691
Current Game: Dragon's Dogma
Roleplayer Contest winner - Fan Fiction Helpful! Hot Topic Starter 
Thanks, I'm flattered, lol.


ForceFightWMe12 is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 09-12-2005, 11:56 PM   #38
MdKnightR
Senior Member
 
MdKnightR's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Feeling Hosed By Your Governme
Posts: 1,859
Excellent chapter! Can't wait for the next one! (but don't rush it )

MdKnightR is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 09-13-2005, 08:03 AM   #39
RC-1162
Liquidious Fleshbag
 
RC-1162's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 3,447
Current Game: SW:TOR
Forum Veteran Contest winner - Fan Fiction Helpful! 
thats cool, i did do what snafu almost did
one Q: you have seen the Disney Movie named The Emperor's New Groove, right? im sure you have.
ill bet youll become a great writer in the years to come
*raises both his thumbs and his big toes as well*
FOUR thumbs up


Duct Tape is ALWAYS the answer
RC-1162 is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Old 09-13-2005, 05:11 PM   #40
ForceFightWMe12
LFN Staff Emeritus
 
ForceFightWMe12's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Westeros
Posts: 2,691
Current Game: Dragon's Dogma
Roleplayer Contest winner - Fan Fiction Helpful! Hot Topic Starter 
Lol, thanks guys!
and
A: Yes, I've seen The Emperor's New Groove

I'm working on the next chapter now...


ForceFightWMe12 is offline   you may: quote & reply,
Post a new thread. Add a reply to this thread. Indicate all threads in this forum as read. Subscribe to this forum. RSS feed: this forum RSS feed: all forums
Go Back   LucasForums > Network > Knights of the Old Republic > Community > Coruscant Entertainment Centre > [Fanfic] The Plight of Darkness

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 06:44 PM.

LFNetwork, LLC ©2002-2011 - All rights reserved.
Powered by vBulletin®
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.