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Old 10-11-2005, 07:43 PM   #1
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STAR WARS:THE ADVENTURES OF JOHN SKYWALKER

Ok folks ive been thinking about this for a long time and want to ask you what you think.Im thinking about doing a story about a character called John Skywalker who is the twin of Anakin Skywalker but when they were babies and were sold as slaves John Skywalker was sent to the hutts to be there paige boy while Shmi and Anakin eventually ended up with Watto theres a huge twist which happens and i think ill be doin 6 different stories to this guy there will be characters from all six star wars movies and familiar worlds.

i wanna ask your opinion if i should get started at that before i start please tell me
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Old 10-11-2005, 08:21 PM   #2
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souds kewl!
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Old 10-12-2005, 03:07 AM   #3
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yeah, but maybe you should write their separation in such a way that Shmi wont remember that she had a son named John. maybe a mind wipe or something could be used. otherwise, the story sounds good. cant wait for the update.


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Old 10-12-2005, 06:05 PM   #4
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good idea RC ill keep that in mind i probs will do this story tho i feel excited about writing it
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Old 10-12-2005, 11:08 PM   #5
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Trust me, you'll like writing fan-fics. I started one and now, In the middle of school I'll get this awsome idea and I have to write it down to rememember it. It takes alot of creativity and imagination, but it's fun.


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Old 10-13-2005, 03:45 AM   #6
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and John, don forget to remove John skywalker from your story before the PT other wise it will mess with the movies. or end the story before the beginning of any movie.


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Old 10-13-2005, 06:44 AM   #7
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yeah i will do that
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Old 10-13-2005, 07:34 AM   #8
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Prologue

i have come up with a prologue first i hope you will enjoy this well it might confuse(why you will think) you but keep reading the chapters when they come and all will come clear FEEDBACK PLEASE


Prologue

The woman lay on the medbay table screaming.In truth giving birth to a baby hurt bad but she didnt think of the pain she would feel.The med droid gave her some sedatives and painkillers to calm her down and numb the pain,this was working and they were making progress.
"I can see the head,keep pushing", the droid said in an emotionless tone. The baby finally came crying out but she was still feeling more pressure. "Theres still one more to go", the droid said while wrapping up the crying baby that had just been born and setting it down in a cot.She pushed until the second one came out the baby was'nt even crying it was looking around at its surroundings."They are both boys",the droid said,"what are these twins to be called?"
She looked at the crying baby and said,"ill call him Anakin.......little Ani",she said as Anakin was put in her arms,"and ill call my other son John",she said smiling,"my two sons",she said holding them both tearfully.
The woman was put in a dorm in the med center to rest she only had a couple of days before she had to see if Watto won them in the upcoming podrace,we'll manage, she thought to herself. Just then a man walked into the room he had a big coat and didnt look like he was from any where on the Outer Rim let alone Tatooine.
He looked at her and said,"Shmi....Shmi Skywalker?"
"You know me but i do not know you,what do you want?",Shmi said anxiously.
"I am Cypher Dias and i will cut to the chase you will have to give up one of your sons its dangerous keeping them two together"
"Of course not",Shmi said fearfully,"their my life,my-",before Shmi could finish Dias walked over and touched her head she instantly fell asleep.Dias had only one option left he would have to wipe her memory its the only way he thought to himself


9 YEARS LATER

John woke up with confusion.His dream had been weird he was wondering about the dream when a girl came to the door. "Oh hi Moira",he said still a bit shaken.Moira was three years older than John,who was 9,she had ginger hair a cute face and her left eye was green the right was blue she looked concerned "you look a bit off today John whats wrong"
"I had a weird dream.. i was a jedi and i came back to Tatooine to free the slaves",John said this but without any concerns but deep down he had thought it was so real.Trying to get off the subject John spoke again "Moira what are you up to for the day?"
"well its a free day for all the slaves so i was thinking we should loot a shop all the way on the other side of mos eisley",Moira said smiling.
"Why should we go that far?",John asked curiously
"Ive heard the guy just lost his best slave",Moira said informingly
"Whats his name?"
"His names Watto and he owns a junk shop but he has valuable stuff."
"Ok we'll leave in a couple of minutes", John was happy,working for Jabba the Hutt was no easy task but he got days off so he was thankful.John is also the best theif in these parts which he doesnt understand even when he is most likely to get caught he doesnt but John based this on luck.Anyway,whats the worst that can happen John thought to himself.
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Old 10-13-2005, 07:57 AM   #9
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thats good. though you might wanna punctuate it. otherwise its great, keep writing!(if you want to remove john from the story, say that he died in the duel arena on geonosis j/k dont do that.)

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I'll get this awsome idea
ive already got one. im presently discussing it with my best friend at LF.


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Old 10-13-2005, 04:51 PM   #10
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lol dieing oon the duel arena would be funny but i want him to live longer lol
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Old 10-22-2005, 03:14 PM   #11
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Pretty good storyline. Me likes.
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Old 10-29-2005, 11:20 AM   #12
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cheers ill have chapter 1 soon just have to do sum homework
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Old 10-29-2005, 02:25 PM   #13
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I like this idea, keep it up and it'll be great.


Let's kill ourselves.
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Old 10-30-2005, 12:32 PM   #14
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thanks hallucination
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Old 10-30-2005, 02:03 PM   #15
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Chapter 1

I finally got chapter 1 done hope you like it FEEDBACK PLEASE!!!!!!


Chapter 1

It took John and Moira a couple of hours to get where they were going. But John was glad that he was with Moira, they were best freinds of course. They stopped outside the junk shop and,not speaking,they knew what to do. The plan always was that Moira would keep the keeper of the place occupied while John would steal. John waited outside while Moira went in to find the owner.
"Hello", she called and then a bug looking creature came flying through, he looked disgruntled Moira knew he was grumpy because he lost his best slave.
"What do ya' want slave", Watto said to her rather angrily.
"Im here for Jabba", Moira lied "he wants to know if you have a spare hyperdrive for a......a tatooine star cruiser".
"oh yea follow me into the back i might have one of those",Watto had been shakey as soon as he heard the word Jabba,he then showed Moira out in the back were she was stalling for time asking for all kinds of machines. John's turn was up and he quickly went inside the shop putting spraycans and other small items which him and Moira could sell. He then saw a folded up droid which he fell in love with,it was a service droid for podracers but he could reprogram and upgrade it.He took it and ran outside of the shop waiting for Moira. John liked what he had stolen,this droid will become very useful he thought to himself.Moira then came out of the shop and then John showed her what he had she was impressed about the stolen service droid. They were about to leave when a dark hooded man came up to them draging them along John thought he was taking the back to the junk shop but he was leading them down an alley fear filled him as he didnt know what was happening,he lookd over to Moira who was as scared as he.The hooded man took his hood down his face was red and black and he had smal horns on the top of his head,John dare not look at his fiery gold eyes but noticed he had a lasersword.A jedi! John thought and then he had the confidence to speak.
"What do you want from us",John shouted hoping his voice didnt break.
"I have come to you with a request", he only looked at John and payed no interest to Moira.
"A request?"
"I see potential in you and i wish for you to become a Si-...a Jedi Knight"the hooded man finished
"But i am a slave i have a-"
"that is already sorted i have already payed for you John", the man had an evil smirk,"your chip is deactivated and has been destroyed in your stomach acids..i will not take no for an answer",the man said sternly
"Me? a Jedi? its something ive always dreamed of when do we leave im taking my droid!",John finished breathlessly.
"We must leave now to a small planet called Naboo"
"I dont even know your name"
"My names maul,come young one we must go",Maul said this impatiently.
John started walking and then he looked back and remembered,"Mister Maul what about my freind Moira",John said knowing the answer.
"you have to leave her" he said,"now come"
"John this is what you want",Moira said with tears,"i will always remember you"
"Moira i will never forget you",John was now tearfull aswell,"As soon as ive completed my training i will come back and free you Moira I promise",she smiled.
"We must go we must get to Naboo quickly", Maul said impatiently and started walking.John let go of Moira bade farewell and started walking with Maul with his droid under his arm,he'll be back for her and he knew that.

Last edited by John Skywalker; 10-30-2005 at 09:54 PM.
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Old 10-30-2005, 09:03 PM   #16
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Interesting. I like how you put Maul in there. The dialogue is reminiscent of Anakin and Shmi, about the "I will come back and free you."
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Old 10-30-2005, 09:17 PM   #17
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Interesting...very interesting. Since Anakin became a jedi and then a sith does it mean that John will be a sith and then be a jedi?


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Old 10-30-2005, 09:53 PM   #18
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well maybe but youll have to read on to find out lol next chapter soon
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Old 10-30-2005, 09:56 PM   #19
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damn.... The one thing I hate about fan fics: You can't skip to the last page to find out whats gonna happen 'cuz their never posted in a complete form.


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Old 11-01-2005, 02:36 AM   #20
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The storyline is great but it could be improved a little by not having it all so compacted and forgetting capital letters every so often but otherwise it is still great!
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Old 11-01-2005, 05:59 PM   #21
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thanks Analia next chapter will be coming soon
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Old 11-04-2005, 07:17 AM   #22
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good work. though people will understand it better if you punctuate it properly. take my advice: use MS Word, i type my chapters there, correct anything wrong with the auto correct features and then copy-paste it here.

PS: and renegade angel, if youre a member of the ARA, then youre against me. no big deal. just wanted you to know.(yes, ive written my very own rap song)


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Old 11-04-2005, 04:25 PM   #23
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ok will do RC jus enjoying my revenge of the sith DVD! keep up the advice coming!!
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Old 11-04-2005, 08:06 PM   #24
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Chapter 2

Well heres the next chapter its a short one because chapter 3 is going to be long enjoy FEED BACK PLEASE!!!


"Always use your emotions when using the force,this will give you more power".
"Yes Master Maul", John replied. Mauls spaceship was'nt at all big but for the little sandy haired John it could hold two at most. Hyperspace was taking some time, and while Maul was getting impatient he decided the best way to pass time was to teach John.
"Also do you remember the Jedi code?", Maul asked.
"Yes Master Maul its There is no fear, there is power. There is no death, there is immortality. There is no weakness, there is the Dark Side. I am the Heart of Darkness. I know no fear, But rather I instill it in my enemies. I am the destroyer of worlds. I know the power of the Dark Side. I am the fire of hate. All the Universe bows before me. I pledge myself to the Darkness. For I have found true life, In the death of the light.", John felt uneasy about those last words but he would obey them anyways, he was more determined to be a jedi now more than anything.
"Good boy you will know the extent of this code in time", Maul said,"now go and rest i will wake you when we get to Coruscant."
"Coruscant Master?",John asked he thought he was going to Naboo but Maul looked at him and said.
"You will be trained by another,not me boy you will be trained by my Master", Maul smiled at John,"you will be trained by Lord Sidious".
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Old 11-05-2005, 01:00 AM   #25
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OOOhhhhh interesting. I like where this is going, keep it up.


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Old 11-05-2005, 07:45 AM   #26
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thanks Hallucination chapter 3 will be done soon
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Old 11-05-2005, 07:55 AM   #27
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yeah, thats good, though i think it would be better if you used the sith code from KotoR. that is somewhat more easy to memorise and is kinda more threatening too.


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Old 11-07-2005, 12:21 AM   #28
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Hmmmmmmmmm..........I like where this story is going....I like it a lot I think hope that John will turn light. I never did like the Sith. Though, they do hav the right mind about somethings Keep it up

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Old 11-07-2005, 03:24 PM   #29
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cheers jedi knight. Rc the reason why i used this sith code is because it is in this time i think the sith code would have evolved from KOTOR and thats why i never used it hope u understand cheers for the idea though
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Old 11-07-2005, 11:38 PM   #30
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Cheers to you to Yeah, I think that it would have evolved after 4000 years too

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Old 11-10-2005, 01:15 PM   #31
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sure would. good story btw. whens the next update??


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Old 11-10-2005, 04:04 PM   #32
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i think the next update would be in a couple of days. Im just finishing reading attack of the clones the novelization!
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Old 11-11-2005, 01:17 PM   #33
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WAHAY!!! ive got over 200 views to everybody thanks for reading my work its well appresciated and chapter 3( long) will be posted on sunday

Last edited by John Skywalker; 11-11-2005 at 06:47 PM.
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Old 11-11-2005, 06:46 PM   #34
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Chapter 3

Ok people chapter 3 is here!!!! i said sunday but i just finished it quick. After this chapter you will be reading about a older John Skywalker at 15 but anyways enjoy this FEEDBACK PLEASE!!!!!!



Chapter 3

The ship landed on Coruscant. Whilst contemplating on what Lord Sidious looked like, John really was'nt scared,he was excited at the prospect of being trained by someone better than Maul himself.
"Come boy, we must move quickly Master Sidious is a busy man", Maul said as he opened the hatch door. They got off and Maul started moving rather quickly, John was trying all he could to keep up with Maul even breaking up into a small jog. John passed many things that interested him their were many species he had never seen in his life and buildings that he looked at with glee,this is a beautiful place, John thought to himself then started again to keep up with Maul. They seemed to finally get at their destination as Maul stopped outside a door and knocked.
"Come in",came a reply.Maul and John came in and John saw Sidious. He could'nt see his face as it was covered by the hood on his robe but John could tell that he was old. John admired Sidious without even talking to him, he looked very wise.
"Master this is John,the one you wanted",Maul said. John was confused the word wanted sprang in to mind, so i guess i didnt meet Maul by chance they were looking for me, he thought.
"oh yes", Sidious said with a smile,"excellent my boy you will be a good jedi no doubt, Maul i think you better get back to Naboo i will attend to the boy now"
"Yes master", Maul left not saying goodbye to John. Sidious looked at John and then put his hood down. He looked old but he still had dark brown hair,he had a father type smile and John felt comfortable in his presence.
"So John, i have been expecting you,take a seat", he motioned to the seat
"Thank you Lord Sidous", John said when he went to sit down and putting his folded droid on the floor, "when will i start my training sir", John asked curiously.
"We will begin straight away, i think i have to tell you what were about", he studied John for a while and then continued,"were are Jedi of course but we do not go by that name we go by the name of Sith", John had never heard of that name before and Sidious sensed this so he went on,"we protect the republic against threats any way possible the other set of jedi try and destroy it", Sidious said calmly,"they have thined our numbers and we need help and your just that. You have a bright future as a sith and it is my honor to train you".
"No", John said with a smile,"it is my honor to be trained by you". After their talk Sidious got John to have a bath,being a slave he hadnt had many of these but when he got out Sidious came to him,"John here are your robes", he said placing them down and walking off he said,"when your dressed your room is down the hall on the right and i shall see you in the morning"
"Goodnight Master", John said looking at his robes he had the robe that Sidious was wearing which was black and he also had a black Tunic. Smiling John took them into his room and put his pyjamas on, he could'nt believe it he was going to be a jedi.
John woke up having had a great sleep,he put his tunic on and started for the door he could hear Sidous' voice.
"The Queen is more foolish than i thought,this will work to our advantage Lord Maul be mindful,let them come to you"
"Yes my Master",Maul said
"So we have permission to procede my lord?",came a voice that John had never heard.
"wipe them out...all of them", Sidious said and then the transmission must have ended as John could hear nothing else.

After the next couple of days John was in extensive studies learning about the history of the sith and how they were always overcome by jedi in the last millenia. Also with Sidious' assurances John started to hate these fake jedi as he callled them.
Sidious and John were eating when Sidious sensed a loss in the force John felt it to but not that great he just started his force sensitive training. Sidious' had a grim face and John knew who it was.
"Im afraid these Jedi have killed our beloved Maul", Sidious said and John felt rage was building.
"Master i swear to you i will avenge the death of Maul" John replied with clenched fists,Sidious started smiling.
"Yes boy we must have vengence so i will intensify your training and in time", Sidious strayed on eyes gleaming,"they will be no match for you". John smiled at Sidious he had every trust in his Master,But also he wanted to go at these fake Jedi now but knew he had to wait,my time will come, he thought.
my time will come.

Last edited by John Skywalker; 11-11-2005 at 08:41 PM.
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Old 11-11-2005, 07:46 PM   #35
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Excellent work. One thing, though: 15 YEARS? O.o Wasn't it 8 years? Anyway it's excellent. Keep it up.
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Old 11-11-2005, 07:49 PM   #36
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Excellent work, i'm expecting more like this from you John


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Old 11-11-2005, 08:03 PM   #37
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Great work, you are a great writer Man, I awnt the next xhapter out soon

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Old 11-11-2005, 08:39 PM   #38
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@Vladimir i meant after this chapter John will have grown for chapter 4 it will be 6 years later thanks for the compliment
@RAV i love your comment and thanks for this im am sure i can give you more like this
@jedi knight now ur comment is sumthing!!! me? a great writer? i wish!!!!! lol. Ill try and do the next chapter as quick as possible
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Old 11-11-2005, 08:54 PM   #39
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Of course your a great writer!!!! Keep it up. BTW can you write the next chapter in about 30 seconds?

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Old 11-11-2005, 09:08 PM   #40
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Great work John, keep it up! *gives John +10 cool points as motivation*


Let's kill ourselves.
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